Trying Not to Love You

Have you ever done something knowing it's a bad idea and is probably going to kick you in the ass later?? Yah.... this would be one of those times...

I awoke the next morning to my head pounding and the sun shinning in my eyes. I feel strong arms wrapped around me. Barely opening my eyes i look down at the arms holding me, recognizing the tattooed arms which of course would be my best friend Brians.

"Jesus Christ what the hell happened last night?"I groan

"I tell you what happened. Some wickedly awesome shit happened last night" a voice not far from me answers. I look up to See Jimmy sitting in a chair wearing sunglasses an amused grin plastered on his face.

I raise my eyebrows at Jimmy's statement picking up my phone realizing it was 1 pm panic starting to sink in realize that i was supposed to be at my PARENTS house right now.. I scramble out of Brian's grasp standing up frantically looking for my shoes and purse..

"Mom and dad are going to kill me," I reply finally finding my shoes, shoving my feet into them still searching for my purse.

"Calm down I called them last night and asked if you could stay a bit later and they were cool with it" mumbled a voice from the floor. I look down at a half awake Brian who was now sitting up looking at me.

"You forget to tell me this until now??" I asked in disbelief..

"You were already shit faced and I figured you needed a night to relax, besides after having a lovely conversation with your mother it gives me more time to have a chat with you Desirae" replies Brian standing up walking past me giving me the serious you are in deep shit look. I knew already by him using my middle name it was serious. and I already know what he was referring to or should i say who..

Jason...
Jason is my boyfriend for almost 16 years. I know i could just dump him and move on right? Well it's not as easy as it seems. I have two children with the guy. My oldest is Jackson he's almost 16 and my youngest Brianna who is almost 6.. yes i know it's close to Brian's name but we'll get to that soon. In shock yet? I know what you are thinking, typically the question that everyone seems to ask is you are with someone else and you also have children with this person but you love your best friend???? I know it's like one of those bad soap operas but sadly it's my life as right now. Things with Jason were great at first but now that i think of it, i was young and dumb and he was the first guy who really took an interest in me.. 16 1/2 years later i'm miserable.. he's got a bad drinking problem and his excuse for being an alcoholic is it's a family tradition. Instead of helping with the bills and getting our kids the things they need it goes on his bar tab.. but that's my wonderful life so far in a nutshell.

I finally found my purse going through it looking for my keys and hoping to get the hell out of here and escape Brian's wrath because right now i seriously didn't need it.. I just wanted to go get my kids, go home and relax however i couldn't find my damn car keys..

"looking for these?" Brian asked holding up my keys with a smirk.that mother fucker i thought feeling the color draining from my face

"I had a feeling you would try to sneak out, so i took the liberty of snatching your keys before you woke up, with that being said shall we go get the kiddos?" He held open the door signaling for me to head to the car..

Lord Please don't let him kill me.