Trying Not to Love You

I sit in the passenger seat staring out the window. I really wish my mother wouldn't be blabbing my business around especially to Brian, who hasn't said one word to me since we got into the piece of shit car i own. I softly let out a sigh just wishing he would at least say something to me. I soon realize we aren't going to my parents house and i knew right there we were going to his house. He pulls into the driveway and turns off the car and gets out putting the keys into his pocket Motioning me to follow him. i slowly undo my seat belt getting out of the car to follow him inside and into the living room where i sit on the couch. Brian doesn't sit but stands looking down at me arms crossed.

"So as you know I had a convo with your mom who informed me what has been happening, how long has this been going on?" Brian says and then i instantly knew what he was talking about.

I avoid his gaze wishing he didn't know. I didn't want anyone to know what has been happening but after what happened last time, and the bruises on my face i couldn't exactly hide it.

"Jason was drunk and he didn't mean to do it, he said he wouldn't do it again and he hasn't. that was 3 months ago." I reply softly

"It doesn't matter if it was 3 years ago Kayla, he did it and in front of the kids and Jackson is the one who called your mom" Brian says as he looks down at me sternly

"Yes Jackson did call mom, but i said he hasn't done it since he even apologized and stopped drinking for awhile Bri, I don't really want to talk about it."

"Oh so you just want to sweep it under the rug like it never happened? I don't care if he was drunk or not he should have never put his hands on you period. What is that teaching Brianna? That's it's okay for a man to hit a woman?" He asks raising his voice.

'No it's not okay Bri, it should have never happened in the first place i should have kept my mouth shut but i didn't i was pissed because he came home drunk and he snapped, " I reply looking down at my hands.

"Jesus Christ Kayla do you hear yourself? I don't care if you called him every name in the book, he should have NEVER put his hands on you ever! What will it take to get it through your head he is no good for you or the kids? You live in a shitty part of town, not to mention you don't have any money because that stupid fuck spends it all on at the bar and not what you or the kids need. He could care less. It's just a place to eat and sleep."

"I don't want to be alone Bri, I reply tears starting to run down my face.

Brian kneels down grabbing my face gently making me look at him, wiping tears as they start to fall. He pulls me to him as i start to cry harder

"I understand you don't want to be alone, but this isn't healthy for you sweetie. I know you can do much better than that. You had someone who treated you much better before you met that bastard."

As much as i wanted to disagree with Brian, I knew he was right. Brendon was my first love, and the one i lost my virginity to. We were so perfect for each other but then sadly he moved back to Las Vegas . We tried to make it work but with him being in Vegas and I here, we decided it was for the best. I still talk to Brendon quite often and even went to his and Sarah's wedding. He actually lives in LA now and on occasion i have dinner with him and Sarah when he's not on tour.I nod my head smiling sadly as Brian stands up to go get me a glass of water and a Tylenol seeing how i was still hungover from last nights event. I stand up heading to the bathroom washing my face with the cool water to get rid of the tears. I look in the mirror at my reflection and sigh. I used to be full of life always a smile on my face. Now i look like death. You could see the heavy bags under my eyes. the gray hair. I was a hot mess i guess you could say.

"Does Brendon know what's going on?" Brian asks as I enter the living room plopping down on the couch.

"No he doesn't know what is going on, he would go ballistic and come kick Jason's ass and I don't want to see Brendon go to Jail," I reply taking a drink of my water.

"Trust me it would be worth it, the piece of shit deserves it," Brian says sitting next to me.

" I really need to go pick up the kids and go home," I say looking at the clock which is now saying 3pm.

"I spoke to your mom while you were in the bathroom and your parents are going to keep the kids overnight again, Michelle won't be home tonight so i think you should stay and we will have a movie night just like we used to, oh and I'm ordering pizza," Brian says taking out his phone.

I nod my head knowing i wasn't going to get out of this.