Trying Not to Love You

"Shhh your going to wake him"

"I can't help it" Giggles

"You are still high aren't you?"

"You have no idea bro"

Brian was a party pooper and passed out first, so we couldn't pass up not doing the "traditional" slumber party prank for the first one who falls asleep can we?. You've heard the phrase dickhead correct? I'm not going to give it away to you lovelies you'll just have to wait and see. After our beautiful creation, Brendon and I headed to the beach behind Brian's house.

"So when are you going to tell him K?" Brendon asked plopping down in the sand next to me.

"I don't know if i ever will Bren, he's in love with Michelle and me telling him would make everything awkward and his happiness means the world to me" I sigh looking towards the ocean

"What about your happiness? You can't tell me being with Jason brings you happiness, we all know it, we sees how he treats you and the kids, you deserve so much better than him." Brendon replies.

" I know trust me i know, i'm miserable i'll admit that, sometimes i don't know myself anymore" I sadly say.

"You know we were great together" Brendon says softly looking at his feet Breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Yes we were, you were my very first with everything, did you know you were the only one Brian didn't want to massacre?" I laugh lightly

"That may be true but i got the "talk" from him" Brendon replies using air quotes.

"What talk?" I ask raising my eyebrows.

"The I'll kick your ass if you hurt her talk, funny your dad never said it to me" Brendon chuckled.

"Mom and Dad loved you, when you moved back to Vegas they were bummed, Dad would ask me constantly if i had heard from you" I smiled.

"You know, I sometimes wonder what would have happened if i wouldn't have moved back to Vegas, I always felt you were the one that got away" Brendon says looking at me.

"But you found Sarah and I unfortunately found Jason" I sadly smile.

I found myself always thinking the same as Brendon, wondering what would our future been like if he hadn't moved. Even after getting with Jason, i still had that etched in the back of my mind. Sadly that isn't how things played out

"Things are over with Sarah, i didn't want to admit it but they are. A part of me will always love Sarah, but we were more roommates than husband and wife, we are still great friends just wasn't meant to be" Brendon replies kicking the sand.

"Brendon i am so sorry to hear that, you two seemed perfect for each other, but i think Zacky's brother Matt is available" I snicker breaking the depressing moment before busting into laughter seeing the look on Brendon's face.. Shall i say priceless? I began to realize maybe saying it was a bad idea because the dark look he gave me that's when i bolted running away from him laughing my ass off. He jumped up advancing on me.

"I'm sorry i'm sorry" l laughed as i ran away from him.. towards the ocean, really smart idea on my part but hey I was stoned that has to count for something right? With Brendon being taller than me which meant he had longer legs he caught me picking me up bridal style heading further towards the ocean

"You know i love you right Brenny?" I tried the line i thought would work, yeah it didn't

"I'm not listening" Brendon s sang still heading towards the ocean i clung to his neck hoping maybe me doing this would make him stop, didn't work.. at all. he tossed me in but ended up in the water also seeing how i wouldn't let go of his neck. We both crawled to the shore coughing up the salt water and laughing as we both flopped on the cold sand next to each other.

"Thank you i really needed that" I chuckle

"Anytime"Brendon replies grinning.

I let out a sigh looking up at the sky and smile, i don't remember having this much fun in years. I really needed this a night.. well two nights of fun. If i wasn't working, i was taking care of the kids. I never really had anytime for myself and i sure as hell wouldn't leave the kids with Jason. That would be a disaster waiting to happen. Jackson can take care of himself, but Brianna couldn't she was 5 and i wouldn't expect Jackson to take care of her, that wasn't his responsibility. It was their fathers. I knew if he watched her he'd either A get drunk or B take her to his pill popping mothers house where she would say how horrible a person i was in front of our daughter more than likely A and B.

"I was serious Kayla, you deserve all the happiness in the world" whispered Brendon snapping me out of my thoughts to look into his eyes as he hovered over me tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"You also Bren, you are simply amazing anyone would be lucky to have you" i whispered back not breaking our gaze as he cupped my face inching his face towards mine our lips almost touching when we heard a loud crash ruining the moment.. yes i said ruining the moment.

WHERE ARE YOU MOTHER FUCKERS???
"Looks like Brian found his surprise" Snickered Brendon standing up holding out his hand to me to help me up also.

"Might as well go face the music as they shall say" I grinned as Brendon put his arm around me pulling me close as we headed back to the house.

Oh my god what just happened???