Trying Not to Love You

"ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS DID THIS???" Brian yelled pointing to his forehead that had a lovey dick... well huge dick actually.

"Wow Bri, how did that happen?" I ask trying not to laugh.

"Oh i don't know when i was asleep? I went to take a piss and go back to bed but noticed a huge cock on my fucking forehead, so which one of you fuckers did this?"Brian growled looking at Brendon and I.

"We were outside how could we have done it? Maybe it was the penis fairy paying you a visit, but i must say that is one huge cock there bro,"Brendon commented nonchalantly. I couldn't hold it in longer and busted up laughing to the point i had tears running down my face.

"Ya laugh it up you asshole, this is permanent marker!! How the hell am i supposed to get this shit off!!" Brian exclaimed

"Well usually you take it in your hand give it a couple good strokes and there ya go you got it off," I replied laughing.

"You have to admit that was a good one" Laughed Brendon.

" Keep laughing but i will be getting even may not be today, tomorrow or a month away but i will get even with you both remember that" Brian said shaking his head and walking off.

"should we tell him we took a picture after our lovely artwork?" Asked Brendon

"Nah i'm thinking Christmas cards this year, papa gates will love it" I snickered.

"What will dad love?" Brian asked walking back into the room.

"The present i was thinking about getting him this year" I replied quickly. Brian raised his eyebrows and walked into the kitchen grabbing a beer.

"Nice save" Brendon whispered. I grinned as we fist bumped.

"Why the hell are you two wet?"Brian asked finally noticing plopping down on the couch looking at us with raised eyebrows.

"Late night swim?" Replied Brendon.

"Pffft yeah right, the bastard tried to throw me in, however he went in too" I said looking at Brendon grinning.

"The only reason why we ended up in the water in the first place was your comment about Zacky's brother" Brendon playfully glared at me.

"Oh dear god what did you say?" Brian asked.
" I just made the comment that Zacky's brother was single, he just took it the wrong way is all," I replied innocently smiling.

"You are such a liar! You damn well know that wasn't why. You made the comment "i think Zacky's brother Matt is available " Brendon said using air quotes causing Brian to choke on his beer.

"That's fucked up Kayla" Brian said chuckling as i shrugged my shoulders smiling.

" I'm going to change out of these wet clothes do you care if i use your shower? Brendon asks

"Dude you don't have to ask and go ahead" Brian waved him off. Brendon Picked up his bag locking eyes with me giving me a small smile before heading upstairs. I turned to Brian who had his eyebrows raised.

"Am i missing something" Brian asked

"No Brian" I replied softly

"Bullshit I seen the way you two were looking at each other, it was the same look you two had when you were together Kayla, I'm not dumb" Brian said taking a swig of his beer.

"I don't kiss and tell Bri you know this, but i am going to go shower and put some dry clothes on.. oh wait i don't have any, I groaned realizing i had no change of clothes. Dammit Brendon

" I got you covered" Brian says standing and running up the stairs. He returned tossing me clothes,

"Brendon heard us talking and he told me to hand these to you" He replies Grinning.

"Thanks I am um going to go shower now" I reply heading up the stairs to the other bathroom knowing my face was about a thousand shades of red.. closing the bathroom door and locking it.

I looked in the mirror making a face. Oh god i look like a drowned rat i thought shaking my head turning on the shower letting it warm up while i stripped down. I let the warm water cascade down my body standing there thinking about Brendon. Were we really going to kiss and why was i disappointed we didn't? I had Jason and even though he treats me and kids like shit, he didn't deserve that. Then again, he's cheated on me several times perhaps more that i didn't know about. It would have been just a kiss right? I was pulled out of my thoughts by someone banging on the door

"Kayla are you alright? You've been in the shower for 30 minutes" Brian asked from the other side of the door.
Turning off the water, I stepped out wrapping a towel around myself.

"Yeah Bri I was washing off the salt water thanks to Brendon" I hollered back receiving a chuckle from Brian.

"Hurry the fuck up we are going to watch movies and we are waiting on your slow ass." Brian replies.

"I'll be out in a minute keep your pants on Haner" I reply rolling my eyes.

"Don't worry I'll keep my pants on, Urie on the other hand might not" Snickered Brian hearing him walk away causing me to drop my jaw and glare at the fucker for saying it. I picked up the clothes that were Brendon's looking at them. Basketball shorts and his "who the fuck is beebo" shirt. I smiled changing into the clothes and pulling my hair into a messy bun. I started feeling weird because.. well i'm going commando and have no bra, so this is going to be awkward. I head downstairs where the boys are lounging on the couch drinking beer.

"Do you care if i wash my clothes? I um need them cleaned especially personal items" I say blushing.

"Of course Kayla, you know where the laundry room is, and going commando huh? That's sexy" laughs Brian causing me to flip him causing him to laugh harder.

"would you like me to wash your clothes too Bren?" I ask

"Sure that would be great K replies Brendon getting his clothes out of his bag handing them to me. I walk past Brian smacking him in the back of the head as i walk to the laundry room. I return to the living room plopping down next to Brendon on the couch.

"Alright so Brendon and i have picked the first movie and you can pick the second one Kayla" Brian says starting the movie. I soon realize those fuckers put in the one movie that scares the hell out of me. Nightmare on elm street

"You guys are dicks you know that?" I shudder as the movie continues. Freddy Kruger scares the hell out of me in case anyone didn't know what movie i was referring to.

"Don't worry Kayla, I'll protect you" Brendon says putting his arm around me pulling me close to him. I look at Brian who has a giant grin plasterd on his face. I roll my eyes and try to focus even though i hate the movie.

I know some of you may think it's fucked up I'm cuddling with Brendon as if we were a couple. I honestly couldn't tell you the last time Jason and i cuddled. It felt nice, something i was missing and wanted more than anything. However maybe Brendon and I are not wanting to be alone so to speak? I still love Brian but i'm starting to fall for Brendon again too. God help me

I felt something pegging me in the head. At first i thought because i was high still, but when it hit my forehead the 2nd time i knew i wasn't imagining things. I look down to see popcorn sitting in my lap. I lean forward looking at Brian who was smiling like an idiot and wiggling his eyes. I mouthed "fuck you" and leaned back to being pulled closer to Brendon kissing me on the top of my head. I ended up falling asleep halfway through the movie. I woke up the next morning still laying on the couch with Brendon. I look up to seeing Brian standing a foot away quickly putting his phone away quickly.

"Brian you had better not have taken a picture" I warn glaring at him.

" Maybe i did, maybe i didn't" Brian smiling innocently.

Rolling my eyes, untangling from Brendon's grasp and standing up. As i start to walk past Brian i punch him in the arm, causing him to laugh rubbing his arm. Grabbing my clothes out of the dryer to head to the bathroom to change of course. You really don't think i would in front of the guys did you? Come on I have class, I am lady.. well sometimes but you get what I mean. Pulling my hair into a messy bun I head back downstairs to see Brendon finally awake and making himself a cup of coffee.

"I hate doing this but i need to get the kids. Thank you for lending me your clothes" I say with a sad smile handing them to Brendon.Before you think i'm sad because I'm picking up my kids that's not why. I had to go back to him. God only knows what i will return home to.

"Of course Kayla" Brendon replies walking around the counter to put his clothes in his bag.

"Hey Bri i have to go" I holler seeing him appear suddenly. Brian pulls me towards me giving me a big hug.

" Thank you for the last two days I really needed it." I whisper in Brian's ear.

"Of course Booboo we need to do this more often maybe next time with Michelle and Brendon" He whispers back.

I pull back rolling my eyes at him as he chuckled picking up my purse walking out of the house to my car.

"Kayla wait up!" Brendon hollers jogging up to me.

"Do you really think i wouldn't give you a hug before i left Bren?" I teased.

"With you.. anything is possible" Brendon chuckles as i slap his chest rolling my eyes as he pulled me into a hug.

"Thanks for hanging out, we need to do that more often I had fun" I say smiling.

"Of course hanging with you is awesome and I'm holding you to us hanging out more often" Brendon replies squeezing me tightly.

"Alright Bren" I laughed. Just as i was to let go he whispers in my ear.
"Remember your happiness is important too Kayla" He says whispering in my ear kissing my head before releasing me. I toss my purse into the passenger seat as i sit in the drivers seat starting the car.

"Drive safe" he says softly as i back out of Brian's driveway telling him always do as I salute him before i drive away.

After picking up the kids and basically getting drilled about my 2 nights by my nosy ass mother, I thanked them and headed home with the kids.

We arrived at the house.. which by the way is not a very pleasant house, but sadly i can't afford much and what he gets for ssi ( I know pathetic right?) I'm the only one paying the bills while he blows money on beer and who else knows what?

"Did you guys have fun?" I asked the kids as we walked onto the porch.

"It was so much fun!!! We watched movies and had popcorn, and grandpa made me a fort in the kitchen!!" Briana replies excitedly

"That's awesome babygirl I reply smiling.

"Mom, dad's bike is here," Jackson whispers. Jason didn't drive. His transportation was riding his bicycle unless he was making me be his chauffeur.

I started dreading what we were going to come home to. Knowing Jason anything was possible.

"Daddy!!" shrieked Brianna running across the floor to jump on her dad.

"Hey sweetpea i missed you and your brother so much!!" Jason exclaimed cuddling Brianna looking at Jackson with a smile.

"Hey dad" muttered Jackson walking toward his room.

"I'm going to go change my clothes and I'll start on dinner, how does Corn dogs and french fries sound Lil miss? I asked Brianna

"Sounds good mommy" replied Brianna snuggling up to Jason.

I didn't miss the dark look Jason gave me as i left the room to go change my clothes.

"So where have you been these last couple of days? I tried calling and texting you and i never got a response" Jason asked leaning in the doorway arms crossed.

"I was spending time with the guys, they just got back from tour, I didn't find my phone until today when i went to pick up Jackson and Brianna from mom and dad's I replied avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah I'm sure you did forget it, you must think i'm really stupid Kayla we all know you don't leave your phone anywhere it's always with you so don't try that bullshit with me" Jason scoffs.

"Believe what you want Jason, I'm not going to argue with you, I need to start dinner the kids have school tomorrow" trying to move past him but was pushed back in the bedroom.

"No we need to talk, We aren't leaving this room until you tell me where you were really at" Jason says closing the bedroom door.

"Jason i told you were I was, I spent time with my friends you know the ones I grew up with? Am I not allowed to go and do things? Jason I told you I don't want to argue with you let me out of the bedroom now" Trying to get him to move. Jason's eyes darkened before slapping me across the face making my head snap to the left.

"I've let you get away with too much lately, the disrespect, the lies and now taking off? Oh no this is not going to be swept under the rug" He reply's cracking his knuckles. I tried to quickly move around him trying to get to the door, but he grabbed me by the hair painfully and slamming me up against the door. I could smell the alcohol on his breath realizing he had been drinking quite heavily.

"Let's make one thing very clear.. you are only allowed to go to work and pick up the kids from school, other than that your ass is to stay in this house and maybe if your good in two weeks I might let you go to your mom's" Jason sneered.

I haven't been completely honest with my friends and family because well I was scared to. Jason beats me on a regular basis, he's gotten so good at it he leaves bruises where no one can see them. In front of others he play's the nice guy, but behind closed doors, it was another story. Jackson seen him hit me before and pleaded for me to leave him, I never listened though. I blamed myself I felt I deserved it for making him mad, He always apologized the next day promising he wouldn't do it again until he got drunk again and picked a fight with me so he could "Punish" me as he called it.

"Jason don't do this i know you are mad but, I wanted to see the guys i haven't seen them in months I didn't think you would be mad about me spending time with Brian and the guys, nothing happened so you need to get over it" I replied raising my voice.

"Excuse me do i hear disrespect in your voice? That's not going to go sweetheart, i don't want to punish you but i have no choice" Jason says removing his belt.

"Let me go Jason!" I yell shoving him hard which didn't move him at all which pissed him off

"You Bitch!!" He yelled punching me in the face before grabbing me and shoving me to the bed before climbing on top of me.

" No!! Stop!! Your'e hurting me Jason!" I screamed which ended with a punch to my stomach.

"When will you get it through your head you are mine and you are going to do what i say" Jason growled hitting me in numerous places over and over again. I tried covering myself from being hit, crying as he hit me. When i thought he was done, I kicked him in the stomach as hard as i could trying to escape the beating, he slammed me back down putting his hands around my throat squeezing shutting off my oxygen supply. I started to see black spots when Jason was suddenly ripped away from me and getting punched in the face as I passed out.