Help Me Live

[[mikey's p.o.v]]

When i woke up gerard said i was out for a few weeks.
Humm, i guess when you loose alot of blood you get weak.
note-to-self: dont bleed any more.

I looked around and something hit me.
Jade.

"where's Jade?" i asked them.

"ahh....Mikes we need to talk" gerard said.

"im listening." i said

"okay..well.." he trailed off, i saw tears form in his eyes.

"gee, come on your scaring me" i said kind of shaky.

"About a hour after you came in, they brought jade in." he said with a tear rolling down his cheek, jenna got a tissue and brushed it way.

"are you going to tell me or not!?" i screamed with tears of my own streaming down me face.

"mikes we're so so sorry" frank,ray, and bob said.

"why.?! WHY ARE YOU SORRY?!" i was getting extreamly scared now.

'what happened to jade. its my fault.
i didnt fight hard enough.
she's gone because of me' these thought ran threw my head.

"mikey she's in the I.C.U" gerard croked.

"what.." i said tears burning my face.

"mikes im sorry" gerard said to me again.

"get out" i gazed at the floor.

"mikey." the guys said to me trying to confort me.

"i said get out" i clenched my teeth.

"we will be back mikey, will jusy see jade" Jenna said.

'why is she here. she doesnt even know Jade' i thought

About 5 minutes later there was a knock at the door.
I didnt answer so the person just came in.

"mikey.." Lauryn walked in.

"how is she?" i asked since im not aloud to see Jade since in down here.

"im not going to lie to you, she's pretty bad. But she is stable so thats good." she smiled at the last part.

"is she wake?" i asked her.

"no.. she is in a coma right now, but the doctor said it will end in 3 months" she gave me a weak smile.

"oh lauryn! its my fault! im so stupid! i should of just taken her home when matt pulled up! its my fault. im the reason she is like this. my fucking fault" i cried as lauryn gave me a tight hug.

"this is NOT your fault mikey. you didnt know he would do this to her. It's no ones fault but Matt's." she cooed.

"but why does it feel like my fault?" i asked brushing the tears away with my shirt.

"i feel like that too. and it's because we are her best friends and we think we can protect her from anything." she said as she cleared her face too.

"so.." i said. i dont want to talk about this anymore.

"so?" she asked wanting the same.

"how are you and frank, im guessing im missing alot in the last month" i smirked.

"well.. im offially his girlfriend" she smiled

"awesome" i said and gave her a high-five.

"i like him you know. like alot, maybe even love" she said

"he does too" i said. i knew the first moment they saw each other they loved each other.
"im not going to be suprized if he askes you to marry him soon" i smiled this cause her to smile even brighter.

"you think?" she squealed.

"i know" i said and hugged her.

About a hour passed and we talked about Jade, and how Jade and I meet, and how everyone is accepting her and stuff.
I reliezed, since Jade stepped out of my dads car that day, i never been the same.

"so.. do you like jade?" lauryn asked as she laied back on my bed.

"duuhh she's my best friend" i said as i joined lauryn.

"no i mean do you like jade?" she asked me again.

"what makes you say that?" i asked her getting paniced.

"mikey, this is like so obvious, you love jade, get use to it" she sighed happily.

" i dont not love jade like that" i said to her.

"okay..but thats not what she wants to hear" she said

"What..?" i asked and then the guys came in.
Frank saw us and got a little angry that i was cuddling with lauryn.

"frank, get over it. lauryn is one of my friends" i said as lauryn got up and sat on frankie's lap

"like jade is?" he smirked.

"uh! what is with everyone and saying that?" i snapped.

I mean yeah, i loved jade, but is it that love? it cant be, its not right. she's my best friend.

As i got out from spacing i saw that everyone was in a makeing out. ew. im alone in a room with about 2 couples sucking each others faces off. ray and bob went to get me skittles. SWEET

"sorry guys! NO P.D.A IN MY ROOM! im sorry. get. out" i pointed to the door.

"fine!" gerard said and grabbed jenna, i think?, yeah jenna and pulled her to the door frame right out side my door.

"hah! P.D.A in the hall way!! you cant do anything! LOSER!!" gerard said and started to kiss jenna.

"im being to feel used" she joked.

"humm really gerard?" i said and shut the door in his face.

"OH IT IS ON!" gerard yelled through the door.

"pfft." i sneared and sat back down.

A nurse walked in and i asked her if i could see jade.

"sure, but she isnt all that good dear." she said and go me a wheel chair.

"whats this for?" i asked confused. I CAN STILL WALK!

"for you to sit in retard" gerard said as he walked in with lipstick all over his face.

"but WHY?" i asked still not seeing the point.

"do you want to walk all the way to the I.C.U?" frank asked me.

"how far is it? and why cant i take the elivator?" i asked.

"its on the .. 4...5...6...7..8th floor. and you have to look sick in order to use it" frank said.

"i can walk, im on the 7th anyway." i said and walked out of the room.

"okay. SHOTTIE THE WHEELS!!" frank said and sat down and he wheeled him self out of the room with lauren on his lap.

"SUCKER!!" he said as he passed me.

"frank, your going like 1 mhp retard" i said and walked passed him.

"well! i can take the eliviator! and you cant!" he said but i just pushed him aside and got in and closed the doors before anyone else could.
'muhaah im so evil' i thought as i smiled to myself

I zoned out of what i would do when i saw jade that the person he to shove me out.

"stupid evilator man person" i said under my breath.

My heart beat got extreamly fast as i inched my way over to Jade's room.

'This is it.' i thought and opened the door slow and closed my eyes.
I shut the door and felt my way over to the bed and i found it i sat at the edge and opened my eye slowly and carefully as if i was waiting to be scared.

"oh my godd" i said as i saw a person, that doesnt even look like jade, sitting, no more like lying dead, in her bed. I checked her name again 'Jade Philps'.
'yup thats jade' i thought and i didnt relized i started to cry.

"oh my god jade, im so sorry, i didnt fight hard enough. oh god, this is all my fault." i cried into her chest and grabbed her hand and brushed her hand with my fingers.

"its going to be okay. i promise you, your going to get better, fucking kill matt for what he did, and then go to school since it startes in about 3 months. and we can enjoy the rest of summer vacation. just you and me and the guys on the beach and hanging out and stuff. I know your going to come back to me, well i hope you do. I love you jade, your my best friend in the entire world, except gerard, he has to be, but you-" i cleared my face with my shirt " you...your different. i feel you want to be there with me. your the kind of person keeping me sane in this world of ours. jade, baby please wake up so we can leave and see that movie you wanted to see. you know the one with the killing doll and the people dieing. you said it looked really scary and said that you wanted to make fun of the fake-ness people who are shitting their pants but wont say that their scared." i laughed she was talking about a crappy movie but i would go if she wanted to. " jade, please, come on, please wake up. you need to, i need you." i said and lied next to her body and wrapped my arms around her and watched her, making sure she was breathing, making sure she wasnt in pain.
I mean all she was doing was sleeping, but i just needed her near me. To make sure she was there.

I zoned out again thinking how it would be when she woke up, I didnt realize the guys walked in.

"hey, mikes you okay?" gerard asked me, i was crying again.

"hu?" i asked as i got out of my spacingness

"are you okay?" he asked again.

"no." i said and looked at jade.
'she's no waking up anytime is she?' i asked myself as i watched her chest rise and fall

"aww mikey, its going to be okay" ray said to me.

"are you on crack? my best friend is lying here depending on fucking machines and you think everything is going to be o-fucking-kay!?" i screamed at them waving my hands in the air.

Before gerard could answer a nurse come in with a note and her clip-board.

"who is mikey?" she asked

"me?" i said and walked over to her.

"before Jade went into the coma she wrote this, like a hour before" she said and handed me the note.

I looked down and in her hand writing it said 'Mikey'
I felt tears prick my eyes and my throught getting tight.

I opened the letter and read it out loud

Hey mikey, listen im sorry for what i did. not listen. i should have, im stupid for not.
Tell frank i thank him for fighting for me, even thought he said he wasnt, and tell him i forgive him. i know, well.. i hope, he didnt mean anything over it.
Tell ray im going to miss him and his fro, it was the first one i ever saw in real life, and im glad it was his. And thank him for being there and trying to fight off Matt and everything he did, im going to miss him.
Tell bob that i want to thank him too. he might not think he did anything, but he did. He helped save me from myself, from the person i was becomeing.
Tell gerard i love him, he was like the brother i never had and he was alway there for me.
Tell lauryn that i love her, she was there for me and everything, through my parents, the midnight calls and my sholder to cry on. Tell her i want her to ask out frank because i know that he is to scared to, frank dont deny it, and tell her im sorry. Im sorry for leaving her like this, i never got to tell her my new crush. I never got to tell her that secreat i kept from her through out the years. So im telling you now lauryn, I LOVE UNICORES! yesh i know it stupid, BUT THEY ARE ALIVE!, and if you make fun of me im going to make fun of you from your 13th birthday party, yeah, that is if i do see you. Once again i love you all more than ever. there were tear marks ever the paper. I was crying now, it felt like she was all good again, like she would just wake up and say 'Got cha' or something. i looked over to her

"i love unicorns too" i smiled alittle and whiped my tears away and carried on reading

And now your left mikey-kins. I just want to say im sorry if i dont make it, im trying i swear to this.
I love you. thats it. your my best friend ever, besides lauryn but your my best guy friend, and i love you for it. you saw past my ugly past and everything that happened to me. You saw the good in me, and if i dont make it out i just want you to remember me like that. I have so much i want to tell you and ask you but i see i dont have much time so im going to make it short. Michael James Way i love you, your my best friend and i hope you finally get a girlfriend. If,and i hope soon, i get out of here im going to meet her and she is going to marry you and then i would have a sister-inlaw. We can be a big huge family. Oh and make sure gerard marries Jenna, and frank marries Lauryn and ray marries bob. i know they have something going on. Just kidding, i hope you guys find some one for your selfs. I would hate to watch you guys from up there alone and sad. SO DONT BE SAD AND ALONE! you have each other and much more. So in short terms i love you guys, and to death, since all i am doing it loving you now and im dying so it kind of fits. Oh and I'll see you guys soon hopefully, and if not, in 100 years or so.

Love you all again and agian,
xoxo Jade Philps//Way//Glennon//Iero//Toro//Bryar// and i dont know jennas last name since she never told anyone but put it here. even though i just meet her today it feels like i known her forever.

I finished reading it and broke down.

"She kept on saying if" i said

"i know" lauryn said, well gasped she was cring to hard.

"i dont know what to say" frank said after a few minutes of finding words, crying, and pure shock.

"thats a first" gerard did a sad laugh and whiped his face.

"Im going to miss the days at the beach" ray said.

I gave him a death glare.
"dont you fucking say that. if anyone thinks like that she might cave!! she needs us now!! so think like she is going to wake up in the next four minutes and 59 seconds!" i screamed and sat on the floor cry.

' i wont believe the truth, she is going to fine, she has too.' i thought and looked over at her body just lying still. her skin pale like a ghost and her body lifeless. I couldnt stand the sight. I need my jade back, i need it. I dont think i could go on that far with out her.

Just then the most weridest, and shocking vistior came in the door.
'oh how they should of just staied home today.' i thought and got up to walk over to them.

"it was a mistake for you to come" i gritted my teath together and gave them a death glare.

"i think i belong here michael"