Help Me Live

"okay it all started about 4 years ago when me and by best friend back then,Lauryn, started to get in to punk rock and such. so all the kids were all 'ew your different than the rest of us clones.. go die in a whole' so we got hurt. physically and emotionally. so about a year into it lauryns parents made her go to a new school since the whole thing and i was left there to die..i was a awesome student, i got good grades and all. i was a good kid and all i tried to be nice but nooo. since im different and actually have a mind of my own they all got preppy on my and fucking humiliatied, torured, and not to mechin[sp?] embarass me infront of my crush at the time!! what did i do to them!?" i started to cry, hard.

"oh babe.." mikey said as he pulled me closer to get me into a hug.

"and the worst part is my parents did the same thing!! my fucking dad got druck and.... he ..." i stopped in the middle, it was to much for me.

"what did he do?" mikey asked as he rocked me back and forth.

"he did everything, he hurt me physically, virbaly, he fucking hit me because i liked fucking music! FUCKING MUSIC!! what did i do?! what did i do!?.... and thats why i dont like people touching my like how frankie did... the last night i saw my parents my dad tried.. he tried to make me......i ran mikey....he caught up to me and he tried to.....mikey he was so close to.." and i started to hyproventolate[sp?] due to all the crying and emotions..not enough air was getting in.

"breath.. Jade breath. shhhh its okay.. breath.....breath......" he rocked me back and foth. it calmed me down but i didnt stop crying.

"what if... what if my mom wasnt there mikey? wasnt there to hit me one last time? made him stop before they killed themselfs? I WAS RIGHT FUCKING THERE!!! how could i?....i should of stopped them... i though it was a dream..i should have tried..... mikey i let them do it.. i should have tried....i could have saved them...i should have saved them...."mikey was still rocking me back and foth and saying 'its not your fault, it was theirs, they wanted it,it was just their time.. it not your fault and you know it' over and over again.

We staied there for a good hour and a half when we finally went back. i was still im tears but much calmer, well sort of.

"oh my god jade im sorry..i didnt know.. im so so sorry you have to believe me" frank said. i just nodded my head and went to the car and making sure mikey was right there next to me.

"im sorry" frank said every other second.

"im tired" i whispered in to mikey's ear.

"i can see why" he smiled and hugged me tighter

"is it okay if i sleep in your bed tonight? with you?" i asked. i didnt want to be alone, well not tonight, i might do something to myself. i didnt trust myself

"sure...but incase of future events you dont have to ask." he said and put his head on top of mine.

"any time i want?" i asked

"anytime." he smiled

'anytime' i though to myself.. humm there are some ideas coming to mind. i put an evil smile on my face which gerard saw.

"what was that?" he asked pointing to my face.

"what was what that what you saw?" i asked hoping it'll fool him since it sort of did mikey

"what?! ah!!! to may what!! hurting my head!!!" yes!! my plan has worked hopfully he would forget and my plan is still in motion.

At the way's house

"humm im bord guys" bob said as we were on the couch thinking of what we should do.

"oh my god! i know what we should do!!! PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!!!" gerard said as he ran to the kitchen to grap a empty beer bottle.

"so who wants to ge first?" gerard asked as he sat on the floor

"i will!" frank said and grabbed the bottle from gerard.
he spinned the bottle and landed on ray.

"ray truth or dare?" frank asked

"truth" ray replied

"fine.. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..oh! i got it!!" frank said with an evil grin "who would you want to make out with?"

"uhh... i guess jade since she is a girl" he srugged.

"humm..... seems like everyeone wants to" frank said and scooted closer to me.

"haha.. yea.. MY TURN!!" i spun the bottle and it landed on gerard.

"truth or dare?" i asked him

"uh.... dare!" he yelled

"okay.. i dare you to..lick bobs face" i smiled at bob

"what the fuck!? no he wont.!!" bob yelled

"oh come on bob you know you want it." gerard said moving closer to bob

"for a second or you die." he said
"ewewewewewwwwwwwwwwww! okay your done!!" and pushed gerard off.

"eww.. bob hair" gerard said cleaning off his tounge "my turn!!" and he spun the bottle

"HAZA!!! JADE TRUTH OR DARE!?" gerard asked.

"uhh....i guess dare.."i srugged.

"okay.....i dare you to kiss frankie.." gerard looked at him

"ew.. truth please" i smiled at gerard.

"okay...why were you crying when you came back from the walk with mikey?" he asked.

"oh......can i take my gros dare back?" i asked a little worried

"no. tell. now."bob said

"i..uhm,well you see....i have to go to the bathroom.. i'll be right back." i got up and ran to the bathroom

"OKAY BUT WHEN YOU GET BACK THE QUESTION IS STILL YOURS!!" gerard yelled to me as i was running away.

as i was walking up to the bathroom i heard a cell phone go off.....'is it mine?' i asked my self and went in to my room where my stuff was.

"hello?" i asked

"Jade!? omg!! hi!!!!" it was lauryn

"LAURYN?! OH MY GOD!! HI!! uh!! i missed you!" i said..

"i know! im sorry i havent called in a few weeks...i was grounded. you know getting a tattoo isnt as bad as parents make it sound." she laughed.

"haha.. sweet.. hey! do you want to hang out? i still got a few hours to kill.." i asked

"sure!! well im at the beach now with alex..fucking babysitting is the WORST job ever. he almost died. but i saved him.. im awesome like that" i could tell she was smiling.

"oh! we can meet at the beach! do you mind if i bring a few friends?" i asked her thinking i could bring the boys

"uh yea i dont see why not.." she said

"oh sweet! okay i'll see you in like a hour?" i asked

"sure babe.. laterr.."

"byeee" and i hung up

"hummm... i wonder if the boys will go.." i said

as i walked down stairs after a half and hour up stairs.

"what the hell took you so long!?" gerard asked

"hum? oh i was on the phone...hey do you guys want to go back to the beach?" i asked them

"are you sure because of you freak out i didnt-" i cut ray off

"yes im sure dad!" i said and grabbed my bikini[sp?] and my bag and headed for the car.
"oh and frank..?" i asked him

"yea babe?" he asked looking up

"if you touch me at all like the way you did before..i'll kill you" i smiled and hopped in the car.

"uh..okay."he mummbled and got in.

"so why are we going to the beach again?" mikey asked

"you'll see" and we pulled out from the drive way.

At the beach

"hey gerard?" i asked remembering something

"yea jade?" he said

"how did you get my phone number? i forgot to ask you." i said

"oh.. right...well........Itookyourphonewhenyouwerentlookingandstoleyounumberoffofthere. HEY LOOK WE'RE HERE!!!!"

trying to understand what he just said "you took my phone!?" i yelled but he was already running away.
"forget it.." and i started to walk down the beach.

i put my stuff down and looked up. i saw something running towards me untill i reliezed it was Lauryn.

"AH!!!!!!!!!!" i screamed and ran towards her

"OMG!! JADE!! AH!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!" she said hugging me.

"tell me about it!!!" i yelled. during our hugging lauryn tripped and we both fell down laughing.
i looked up and saw the guys walking over.

"theses are the guys i was talking about on the phone" i said to lauryn

"your friends with these boys?! they are like the freaking awesomest people at my school!" she said back to me.

"i thought you went to private?" i asked

"i got in a fight with the 'prettiest-most-beautiful-person-ever-and-now-im-dead-meat' at the old school" she was laughing.

"haha wow.while you were at school with these boys i was stuck at the hell whole."i said to her.

"you mean you still went to the old school? the one on the other side of town!? i though you moved and went to this school!? that's what your parents said to mine when they wanted to know how you were going to be!!" she sounded worried

"haha..sounds like my parents.. trying to hurt me" i could feel the tears about to flow.

"uh! i should have staied! i should have!! its all my fault!" she said hugging me

"its not your fault it was my parents..it's okay.."i said with a few tear escaping me.
"it's okay..i'm okay..everything is okay" i said trying to hold back the tears.

"so.. why are you over in this part of town?" she asked trying to change the topic

"well....my parents died and they are taking me in" i smiled a little,i really am thankful for all the the way's are doing for me.

"hummm...im sorry babe. you should have called me.i would have helped you. you know i would give up my life for you." she said this while hugging me