Country Love

I didn’t want to do this; I just want that to be noted. I did not want to go to my ex-boyfriend’s house upon my arrival back home for the first day. I did not want to see him.

All these thoughts flew through my mind as I rode in my Jeep over to his house.

I sighed to myself.

I mean, it’s not like we had a bad breakup, he didn’t cheat, or lie, or not love me anymore. It was just the distance between us, literally, not figuratively. He lived back home in Georgia, and stayed there to work on his Daddy’s farm. I went off to college in Ohio.

We were still together then, when he sent me off on the plane, and we had even desperately tried to stay in touch. For a week he came up to see me in the fall, and we had gone to that Cedar Point…

I winced to myself.

That brought back memories.

“Uhm, excuse me.” Someone had said, nagging in our ears.

“Excuse me!”

Brandon and I had just kept kissing, me sitting on the bar of the fence that locked us into the line for the ride we were in, and him standing between my legs with his arms around me.

“Seriously, you guys need to stop or get a room; you are making everyone else uncomfortable.”

And finally, Brandon sighed, and pulled his lips away from mine, and rolled his eyes chuckling.

I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck.

I reserved the right to be lovey dovey with him! He’d be gone soon and who knows when the next time I would see him would be!

Brandon just smiled at me, and rested his forehead against mine, kissing me sweetly.

Shit. I had promised myself I wouldn’t do that! No flashbacks, no more. I vowed to myself as I drove on.

But then, of course, that just brought on another memory, one of the best.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Brandon whispered into my ear as we stood in that airport. His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, and mine around his neck, holding onto each other as hard as we could, and never wanting to let go.

“I don’t want to leave either.” I whispered in his ear.

We stood there for what felt like seconds, but had actually been some time, because when we finally were able to pull apart and kiss goodbye, him promising that he’d be up soon to see me, my plane was taking off outside the windows. We had missed every call for my name.

I giggled and looked up at him, not mad at all, and thrilled that I would have one more night with him. Another 24-hours.

But when I looked up at him, he didn’t seem happy.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” He said, looking down at me, ready for me to hate him.

But I just smiled, wrapped my arms around his neck, and whispered seductively, “There are other flights tomorrow, but we only have 24-hours. How are we going to spend it?”

That brought a smile to his face, and he couldn’t get me out of that airport and into his car fast enough.

That night, we had parked his truck deep into the land his family owned, where they wouldn’t find us, and lay in the bed of his truck, looking at the stars, where he promised me that he wouldn’t let anything, not even distance, break us up or tear us apart.

Then he had whispered that he loved me, and he always would.

But he had failed and broken his promise, because we did break up.

I sighed, and pulled into his long gravel driveway, drove past all the trees shielding his house from the road, and finally pulled up to the front door.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw no cars parked.

I got out of my Jeep, and walked up the porch steps to his house, my mother’s Peach Cobler recipe in hand.

I knocked on the door, just in case someone was home.

My mom and Brandon’s mom had been best friends long before we were ever together, and they still were. His mom was throwing a party soon, and she needed the recipe, so my mom had forced me to bring it to her after I was settled back into my room at home.

I think my mom just wanted me to see Brandon, hoping we’d get back together.

My heart ached as I thought of that.

Because I hoped we did too. But we couldn’t, because the same thing would happen. We’d be in love, happy together, and then summer would be over, and I’d leave, and we’d break up again, and all the heartache I have felt all year long would come back. And I couldn’t handle that again.

But God do I miss the smell of his neck.

No one answered, so I put it in the mail slot on their door, and turned around to go back to my Jeep, when his truck came rumbling up the driveway.

My heart sank and soared at the same time, and I never knew that was possible.

I kept walking to my Jeep, pathetically hoping he wouldn’t notice me, but how could he not? He parked right next to me.

He got out of the truck and shut the door behind him, and we stared at each other, him standing there by the door of his truck, and me by the door of my Jeep, no more than a meager four feet from each other.

“Hey, Brandon.” I said, trying to speak past the lump in my throat.

“Hi, Rose.” He croaked out.

“I just dropped off something for your mom, but I put it in the door because she’s not here.”

“Yeah, her and my dad went to some big get together on the other side of state. Won’t be back for two days.”

I looked at him, I mean looked at him for the first time since October, and noticed everything new about him.

The way he seemed to be even more built and muscular, which is crazy, because he was already in good shape. The slight scruff he had on his face, making him even more undeniably sexy. The sad look he had in his eyes.

I felt myself under his stare too, and suddenly became more self conscious.

Then he looked down at his boots, adjusted that old ragged baseball cap on his head, and looked deep in thought.

It was so extremely awkward, that I was just about to tell him good bye when he lifted his head back up, met my eyes, and said, “Do you remember that day at that amusement park? When we just kissed and kissed, and didn’t care about the people around us?” he smiled sadly and looked down. “It’s hard to believe that was me and you.”

I just stood there silently, my heart aching at his sadness.

He looked at me, his gaze lowering to my neck, “Its been so long that you forget the way I used to kiss your neck.”

Remind me. I thought to myself.

So much for trying to stay away from him. All I wanted to do in that moment was jump in his arms and tell him that I love him, that I need him.

I looked down at my own boots, my love for him washing over my entire body.

“Remember the airport talking me off, we were kissing goodbye and we couldn’t stop.” I said, smiling up at him.

“I felt bad because you missed your flight.” he said quietly, looking down and blushing.

“But that meant we had one more night.” I whispered to him, begging his eyes too look up and meet mine.

And suddenly, like a light switch was turned on, I needed him again. I needed him to know that, too. So that maybe he’d do something about it.

Screw the goodbye we’ll face in September. I won’t let us fall apart again.

“Do you remember how it used to be? We’d turn out the lights and we wouldn’t just sleep.” I whispered, looking down, tears gathering in my eyes.

“Remind me.” he had whispered. I almost missed it, almost didn’t know what he said, it was so quiet.

I looked up into his eyes, gaining confidence.

“We were so on fire and so in love, that look in your eyes that I miss so much.”

He stepped closer to me, taking my hand and holding my palm onto his heart, I could feel it beating rapidly through his thin t-shirt.

“I want to feel that way,” he whispered down to me.

“I want to hold you close.” I told him back, “If you still love me, don’t just assume I know.”

And I guess that had been all he needed, all he was looking for. Because the second the last word left my mouth, his hands were grabbing me, bringing me close to him, his lips meeting mine. My hands tangled in his hair as I kissed him back fervently. I had spent too many long months without his kiss. I needed it now more than ever.

I pressed myself as close to him as I could, and as his hands left my hair and went down to my hips, he pushed me against my Jeep, pinning me there.

His lips left my mouth, traveled down to my collar bone, and back again. It wasn’t until he kissed my cheek did he also kiss one of my salty tears.

He pulled his lips away and looked into my eyes.

“Rose, what’s wrong?” he asked huskily.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to make the tears go away, but I couldn’t.

I opened them again, a sob left my mouth.

“I-I just missed you so much.” I said, as another whimper left my mouth.

“Oh baby, I missed you too.” He said, and his voice cracked as he choked on his words with emotion. “I love you so much.” He whispered to me. “I never stopped.”

He held my face in his hands, and kissed me so sweetly my knees went weak.

When we pulled apart, I held onto him, my palms pressed against his back.

“I love you too.” I whispered. “And I never stopped.”

He kissed me sweetly once again, but I pulled back, and looked up into his confused eyes.

“Brandon,” I whispered.

“Yes, Rose?”

“Please make love to me.” My voice even sounded husky to myself.

A deep rumbling moan came up and out of his throat as he picked me up, so easily, and carried me up the porch steps, unlocked his door, and took me up the stairs to his bedroom. He laid me softly on the bed, crawled on top, and whispered, “Rose, please, don’t ever leave me again.”

Tears sprung in my eyes.

“I have to go back to school, Brandon.” I said as I held his face in my hands.

“No, I mean break up leave me. I can handle being states from you, I can’t handle losing you. Not again, ever.” He said, his voice cracking.

“Never.” I whispered, reaching up and kissing him passionately.

So on fire and so in love.