My Only One

Charlie started preschool last week. It was hard, dropping her off and leaving her there for the first time. The main reason was because of the tearful look she gave me before turning around and entering the classroom. Ever since she was born I was always around, the only times I wasn't around when I had errands to run and didn't need a toddler distracting me. I didn't have to work, so I did anything to keep myself busy. I ended up cleaning every room in the house and going to the grocery store to restock the cabinets and refrigerator immediately after dropping Charlie off. 

I wasn't expecting anyone to come over, seeing as my mom was at the hospital again—even though I understood why. I would be too if I didn't have other responsibilities as a mother of a 4 year old and an employee. Two knocks on the door disrupted me from my cleaning. 

"Hey, Jack!" I said as I opened the door and revealed the lanky guitarist of my ex-boyfriend's band. Jack was like my younger brother because he was 4 months younger than me. "What are you doing here?" 

"Alex told me you live here now. I came to see if you were busy. I wanted hang time with my bestie!" He nudge me with his elbow. I laughed. 

"You're lucky; you caught me on a good day. Charlie's at her first day of preschool and I'm so bored that I've been cleaning." 

"Aw, how's Charlie been? I miss the little bundle of joy." 

"Well, we're spending the day together, aren't we? You'll get to see her around 2 o'clock." I replied, letting him inside the house and slamming the door shut behind him. "Let me get cleaned up and we can go." 

After changing into a simple pair of denim shorts and t-shirt, I met Jack downstairs and we left the house and decided on going to the mall and have a nice lunch at our favorite restaurant afterward. Jack, like always, was his hyperactive self and helped me pick out a few new summery outfits. 

"So, have you seen Noah?" Jack asked me as we ventured down the mall. He got stopped a few times for pictures and autographs from fans and he happily agreed to it. 

"I have. He's a cute little baby. Definitely will grow up to be a swooner just like Alex." 

"About that… do you uh, do you think that Noah looks like him? 'Cause Ri, Cass, Zack and I don't." 

I stopped in my tracks. So I wasn't the only one who thought that? Here I was thinking I was absolutely crazy for thinking something like that and now I know that our friends think the same thing I do I don't feel as weird. "Um, not exactly. I mean… I don't know." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "It's the eyes that make me think Noah's not his." 

"Exactly! If it were Alex's he'd have hazel or brown eyes, right? Not straight blue like Rachel." 

I nodded, agreeing with him without using any words. We exited the mall and got back in my car and I drove us to lunch. It was nice spending this much needed time with Jack, because I missed this lanky boy more than anything. He was the one that introduced me to Alex and the other guys so I've known him and was closest to him. Other than Alex, of course. 

Halfway through lunch, I got a phone call. I started to get worried because it could be a handful of things—something went wrong with Charlie at school, dad's condition got worse, or anything else. But when my eyes scanned across the screen and saw exactly who it was calling, a breath of relief slipped past my lips. "Hello?" 

"Thank God you answered," Alex's voice said from the other line. My sudden calmness vanished at the sound of his voice. "Nobody else seems to have their damn phones on them today and I really need some help. I don't know what to do—" 

I cut him off from his rambling. "Alex, what's going on? Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine. It's Noah. Something's wrong. He's having trouble breathing and he's got red blotches on his skin." 

"Get Noah ready and head to the emergency room. I'll meet you there." 

————

I had to convince Jack to pick up Charlie from her first day of preschool. He agreed after I promised I'd join him and the guys for drinks on Friday night because I hadn't been out in a while. I gave him the key to my mom's house and told him not to break anything while I was gone. 

I was surprised I didn't get a ticket with how fast I drove to the hospital. In the few short weeks I've been working at the daycare I became pretty attached to Noah and the other kids. They all felt like my other children so of course I sped like a maniac an tab inside the emergency room doors, frantically searching for my phone to call Alex. 

I had his number dialed when someone called my name. I looked up and saw him standing there. His hair was a disheveled mess and he looked like he hadn't sleep in weeks. I walked over to him and—despite the breakup and the new baby with Rachel—wrapped him in a tight hug. I knew it was exactly what he needed right now so I pushed everything aside and did it. I felt his strong arms coil around me a few seconds later and his chin rest on my shoulder. 

I rubbed his back and slowly pulled away. "Come on, tell me what happened." 

"I was making lunch, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because I had to be somewhere so I wanted a quick and easy lunch. I went upstairs to change my shirt and then I came back down and Noah was wheezing and had red spots all over." He said, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I tried calling everyone and you're the only one that picked up. The doctors are looking at him now. I just got here 15 minutes ago. And now here we are." 

"Oh, Alex. I think he might've had a reaction to the peanut butter." 

"God dammit," he muttered and rubbed his face with his hands, "I'm horrible at this. I bet you knew this is what was gonna happen; that's why you ended up leaving when we were younger, huh? Because you knew I'd be a bad father." 

"No, God no. Alex, look at me." I demanded, when he didn't, I moved his head to face mine with my fingers. "Listen, you're not a bad father, okay? You were amazing with Charlie and you'll do amazing with Noah. The difference is that Noah's still a baby. It's hard when they're that young. I already told you the reason I left, don't put that shit in your head, alright? You are an amazing father, Alex. Accidents like this happen." 

"You mean it?" 

"Swear to God." I smiled. "I wouldn't lie about that." 

A small smile broke out on his solemn face. We just sat there, looking at each other and not saying a word. Just then, I noticed Alex's face getting closer and closer to mine. My heart beat sped up and my breathing became ragged as I knew what was about to happen. His face was a mere few inches from mine when an elder man in a white doctor's coat came out of the door we were sitting by. 

"Mr. Gaskarth?" Alex and I shot apart. While I stayed seated to think about what almost happened, Alex spoke to the doctor. I overheard what the doctor said. "It looks like your son did have a reaction to something the peanut butter he ate. You'll have to take him to an allergist for testing to see if he's indeed allergic. We'd like to keep Noah here for a few more hours just in case." 

"Alright, thank you, sir." Alex replied and came back over to me. "Thanks for coming, Aria. I can't explain how much I appreciate it." 

"It's not a problem. I'm always here if you need anything." I replied, got up, and gave him a small wave before leaving the hospital. 

How could he act like that kiss almost didn't happen?