The Ant and the Boot

She tumbled away from me, a large white creature tumbling out of her arms.

Did my love fear me, our child, her shedding of mortality? Did she truly weep for these blessings that had been granted to her? Did she, even after the pain that we endured together, still ache for the companionship of her former kind?

Could she, after everything I had done to secure her, still slip from my grasp?

“Your… companions grow bold,” I said, voice carefully controlled even as a gratifying image of snapping the soldier’s neck flashed behind my eyes. I sighed, taking a step closer to her.

And she stepped back.

After a moment of puzzlement I realized that she had put herself between me and the entrance to the hallway – between me and her compatriots that slept in the rooms beyond. She was protecting them.

“You won’t hurt them,” she – demanded? – shifting her stance as if she prepared to do battle with me. I watched her in bafflement, my previous anger beginning to dissolve just under the sheer weight of my perplexion.

“You wish to fight me?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. “Why is this? Was I not true to my word? Did I not allow you to strike against Thanos? Have I deceived you in some way? Tell me, my love, for I am baffled by your actions.”

“You didn’t lie to us,” she admitted, “this time. But you’ve never exactly restrained yourself from hurting mortals, either.”

“Of course I have, I’m restraining myself right now. Actually I’m exercising a great deal of restraint, especially against that patriotic, imbecilic –“

“Enough.”

I stopped, regarding her. It appeared that it wasn’t only the mortals around her that had become emboldened. Part of me swelled with pride at my goddess’s newfound agency; another part resented her, at a loss as to why her ire was directed at me. It was she who was encouraging the overtures of mortals, she who had been unfaithful with her company, she who…

“Do you doubt my fidelity to you, my Dove?” I asked, “Is that why you’ve begun to turn away from me? To accept the advances of a mortal? Have I fallen short of your expectations, and this is my punishment? That is cruel of you indeed, for –“

“’Cruel’? You left me,” she hissed, “alone, with newfound powers and a child after I died in your idiotic war. The only thing you’ve shown ‘fidelity’ towards is an apparent need to destroy my people –“

“Dove, you must stop insisting that you are a mortal –“

“You must stop insisting that I’m not.”

Silence rang after a lightning strike of her power struck the ground in front of me. I watched the tempest in her recede, reigned in by her will before she spoke again.

“Whatever you may believe, whatever I may be now, these are my people. I will not let you treat them like animals. You keep forgetting that when we met I was one of them.”

“My Dove, you were nothing like them –“

“I was exactly like them. You just never bothered to take an interest in anyone else.”

I watched her for a moment. She was, alarmingly, serious – the words that came out of her mouth seemed almost laughable to me, but she genuinely believed them.

And with her words came the weight of dread: she foolishly wanted to protect these mortals, be part of them, and it was my charge to vanquish them in the coming hours.

For now, at least, they were spared. Enough time, I hoped, to talk to her – to persuade her.

“I did not come here to fight you, or your companions,” I assured – partially for her sake, but also because I was certain that Stark or another mortal was waiting in the shadows to strike. “I have simply come with more information and a simple request.”

“What do you want, Loki?”

Stark appeared on the other side of the room, emerging from the shadows of a side hallway. The machine in his chest illuminated him – that, and the light that glowed in his hand, sheathed in metal to his elbow. A threat.

Every time I saw Stark I was struck by just how small the man was – a little man towered by the height of is own ego. Even his wife dwarfed him, even as she cowered a distance behind.

“Ah, the happy couple. I never had the chance to send my congratulations,” I smiled coldly at them, momentarily forgetting that, at this moment, they were not my charge.

Blue light crackled next to me the moment that I stepped toward them, and I halted my approach. They had been granted asylum through Dove’s fondness of them – for now, at least.

“I promised you no violence, and I will remain true to my word,” I sighed, taking a step back from them, “though I’d love to be the one to bury you, Stark.”

“Feeling’s mutual, Severus,” Stark replied.

“What?”

“Mortal thing, you wouldn’t understand it. What do you want?”

I regarded him, wondering what the severity of his mortal insult was – and, fleetingly, if he happened to bleed black.

“One evening,” explained to him. “One evening to escort my bride beyond your gaze and speak with her privately.”

“She’s not your ‘bride’.”

“Technicality. My ‘mate’, if you prefer.”

“I don’t.”

Stark took a step closer, though he lowered the piece of machinery on his arm.

“Anyway, no. I don’t trust you to actually bring her back, and like hell I’m endangering one of my own. Besides, she already got a field trip today with Cappy.”

“Do not remind me,” I growled, loathsome images of the soldier gallivanting with the mother of my child appearing behind my eyes. “You wear my patience thin, Stark – I have given you my aid once, to prove my loyalty to the protection of my queen and heir. What do you suspect, that I’ll take her into the lair of that warmongering oaf who wishes to destroy her? Do you truly believe that I would endanger Dove when she’s with child, my child?”

“Well let’s take a look at your track record, Mister Careful,” sarcasm dripped from the mortal’s lips, “Take a trip down memory lane to the times when we’ve left her alone with her. Hmm, what happened? Oh yeah, she died. Twice.”

“Once. And she ascended.”

“She’s only alive due to happy accident, with no thanks to you. And by the way, it’s a miracle that you’re even having your heir, since you got her pregnant before dragging her into a warzone where she was killed. Wow, Loki. What a catch you are.”

“Enough.”

Both Stark and I jumped back as blue lightning struck between the two of us. Dove stepped between us, smoldering.

“Stop talking about me as if I wasn’t here – both of you,” she commanded, her eyes flashing at both of us in turn.

“You, Tony,” she turned to Stark, “I don’t care how much you hate Loki, we are in a war, we need allies, and so help me god if your ego alienates the only asset we have who can help us save those civilians who are getting attacked. People are dying and he is the only reason that thousands of people didn’t die in Mexico earlier this week.”

Tony paled as Dove assailed him – and, as she whirled on me, I could see why. I took a step backward, retreating from the blue sparks that arced between her fingertips.

“And you, you have been so far removed from my life that you have lost every right to walk in and demand my attention, let alone criticize me for getting close to others in your absence. You have no right to call me your ‘bride’, your ‘queen’, your ‘love’ – because ‘I love you’ means nothing after you declare war on your lover’s entire species just so you can have some massive ego trip. Yes, you helped us once, you were kind to me in Asgard – those don’t erase the atrocities that you have committed.”

She stopped, catching her breath and collecting control on the lightning that had begun to arc down into the ground around her. I watched her with wary eyes, unsure if I should be angry, insulted, or impressed.

“You are… very angry with me.”

In a swell of anger, her power disappeared completely and her bare hand struck me across the face.

When I turned back to her, cheek stinging, I expected anger to burn my flesh – and it began to flicker inside me, threatening to rise up in righteous ire. But when I met her gaze the flames were quelled: I recognized in her features pain, abandonment, confusion, and anger, emotions that I had grown deeply familiar with throughout my younger years in Asgard. At this moment she looked at me the same way that I had looked at my father, Odin, the day he had confessed to me what I truly was: with the anger and anguish of looking into the face of someone that you loved and believing that they, despite all their pretty words, had abandoned you.

“Oh, Dovesary,” I murmured, reaching out to hold her face between my hands.

I felt the strength and defiance begin to seep from her body the moment my hands touched her skin. Her knees began to buckle and I caught her, holding her to my chest. My hands wound into silken locks as I held her. I breathed her in, the scents of earth and cinnamon caused a sudden ache in my chest: without realizing it, I had begun to forget what she smelled like.

Dove’s fury was gone. Her shoulders rose and fell softly – she had always been so shy in her weeping all the time I had known her, a trait that seemed to have followed her to godhood. I held her as she wept, the desire to protect her and the child she bore overwhelming my senses.

I looked up at Stark, angry that he’d undeservedly had these past months to share with Dove while I had not. This was not a moment for Stark to be witness to.

I looked at him coldly as I gathered by power – and then we were gone.



I shoved him away from me once time and space shifted; when it righted itself I was surrounded by sheer faces of rock. The smell of salt hit my nose, and far below I heard the crashing of waves against sandstone.

“What did you do?!” I accused, whirling, looking for the Chitauri or maybe even Thanos. All I saw were stretches of open, rolling grass that ended abruptly at the cliff’s edge. I furiously wiped my eyes, clearing the remaining tears.

I walked to the edge of the cliff and looked down. The wall of rock below seemed to almost glow in the darkness, a sharp contrast to the black water below.

The Cliffs of Dover, I realized, stepping away from the edge. I turned back to Loki, who remained rooted to the same spot he was in when we arrived.

“That wasn’t a moment for Stark to see,” he insisted, though somewhat warily – wary of me or of hurting me I wasn’t sure.

“And so you abduct me? Really?”

“Borrowed your company. I will return you to your companions once I have finished speaking to you, I swear it.”

He looked… strange. He shifted in place, as if he was deciding which eggshell he was about to step on was less likely to crack. I hadn’t noticed last time we’d seen each other, but his hair had grown: it now hung past his shoulders, and had lost its previous sleekness. His face had also grown gaunt, circles visible under his eyes and his face paler than before.

“You look like a drug addict,” I told him, but as Thanos and the Chitauri failed to appear I relaxed a little. I wasn’t sure if this was good or bad: as I relaxed, allowed myself to calm down a little and be less hurt and angry, I began to remember the better days – the days in Asgard when it was just the two of us, before Tony showed up, before Loki got his voice back, before Thor discovered that I was there and Loki reignited his need for vengeance.

“Is that what I look like? I didn’t know what to make of my appearance,” Loki said, looking down at himself.

“It’s mostly the hair. And around your eyes. And your face in general.”

“Well, you can say what you wish about me at this time, but soon you will be making up for my present thinness.”

I blinked at him. “Did you just say that I’m going to get fat? That’s not nice to say to a pregnant woman.”

“I never said ‘fat’ – that is a crude word, and lacks the elegance that should be attributed to you. Simply that you will inherit some roundness, especially around your middle and legs.”

I went to retort, but then I noticed the faintest outline of a smile on his lips.

“You’re teasing me!” I accused, surprised.

“Really, I tease? I would never do such a thing.”

My mouth fell open a bit. I shut it, strode over to him and lightly punched him in the arm. He clasped his hands behind his back, face remaining calm and collected.

“You’ve grown more violent in our time apart, though it’s unclear if it’s due to your company or your present condition,” he said, eyebrows arched.

“’Present condition’ which you gave me, if I recall.”

“That I did. I must say, though: it’s difficult to be intimidated by your approach when you’re wearing a garb that bounces when you move.”

I glanced down at my dress - he was right, teal was far from intimidating – and rolled my eyes.

“I might have grown violent, but you’ve grown condescending and sassy,” I replied, smoothing out my skirt.

“I’m unfamiliar with your second charge, my dear, but for what reason do you think that I would ever condescend?”

I eyed him, waiting. He stood there, meeting my gaze, his expression blank. He tilted his head to the side.

He suddenly burst into a wide grin, and he stepped closer to me, his stride loose.

“Do you find my behavior impertinent?” he asked, smiling. He seemed… playful.

“That’s a word for it. ‘Unnerving’ is more what I would go for.”

“’Unnerving’? I simply enjoy your company. Is that so unnerving?”

“Well, the last time you were this happy, you started a war and I died. So.”

His grin vanished – I felt a twinge of guilt, knowing that I ended a rare moment for him. He unclasped his hands and brought them forward to hold mine, his eyes cast downward.

“I never intended for harm to come to you,” he said after a moment, “and I do regret that.”

“What about the war? Do you regret that, too?”

“I regret my choice in allies: Thanos is unpleasant, to say the least, and difficult to predict. He lacks the ability to do things subtly or artistically.”

“But you still wish to conquer Earth.”

“Every king deserves a kingdom. Mine was taken from me.”

“Is that really so important?”

“… No. But defying the will of Odin – proving to him that, regardless of his blessing or retribution, I will become a king worthy to rule – that is a cause that I will rally behind.”

“So you do this for vengeance.”

“I do this for justice.”

I could feel my heart sink in my chest. He honestly believed that. He honestly and truly thought that he was able to justify all of the pain, death, and suffering away by having something to prove to his absent father.

I hated Odin. I’d never really met him, sure, but I hated him. Even if he wasn’t outright malevolent he was negligent to a fault, and his failures as a father and indifference to realms outside of his own had resulted in the deaths of hundreds, yes; but I hated Loki’s need to prove himself more – this indifference and hatred that blinded him to the point that he didn’t even recognize the value of life.

Unless it was my life. And that just made it hurt more.

“Loki…” I sighed, stepping away from him and folding my arms over my chest. He stepped to pursue me but I stopped him with a glance before averting my gaze to the grass under my toes.
“Loki, I’m sorry. I just don’t know how I can keep on doing this. I don’t know how I can keep trying to love you and hate everything that you’re doing at the same time. I just wish that you would just… stop. But you won’t. And it’s killing me.”

I could feel him bristle next to me, even with my eyes fixed on the ground. I didn’t know if he was hurt, angry, both… I closed my eyes, bracing for his retaliation.

His arms wrapped around me – wait, no, not his arms. They were too thick to be his, the leanness of his form traded for sculpted muscle. My eyes flew open, trying to see who the hell was behind me.

“Do you prefer my company in this form?”

Steve murmured into my ear, his arms pressing my tightly to his chest. The only part of him that betrayed that he was actually Loki were his eyes, still emerald green instead of their usual sky blue.

I stumbled away from him, blushing furiously.

“Why would you do that, Loki?” I snapped.

“What would you like to talk about? Truth? Patriotism? The tightness of my suit?” he asked in Steve’s voice, stepping closer to me again. A false smile spread across false Steve’s face, and his hand wrapped around my waist in a melodramatic gesture.

“What’s the attractive part about me, Dove? The muscles? Maybe the hair? The sheer weight of my confidence?”

Fake-Steve continued, catching my hand up in his and spinning me in a too-quick dance. I started to panic, realizing that we were quickly approaching the cliff’s edge.

“The mortality, maybe? The stuffy morals? Or maybe you’re just in to –“

“The stability, Loki.”

Loki stopped, balancing me on the cliff’s edge. My foot dangled over open air and I swallowed, able to taste the salt a hundred feet below.

“What?” he asked, regarding me seriously with Steve’s features. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that, if he dropped me, I’d be able to fly back up.

“He’s consistent. He let’s me know that he cares. He may not be everything I ever wanted, sure, but he listens to me and he’s there. I can trust him. And I can’t trust you.”

Steve’s features melted away, leaving Loki’s wounded eyes to regard me. Still, he pulled me from the ledge, moving me safely onto the grass with a quick motion.

“Please, my love,” he whispered, eyes holding mine and hands gripping like chains against my wrists, “Try to understand – understand why I must do this, why there is no choice in the path that I follow – “

“There’s always a choice, Loki!” I shouted at him in anguish. I could feel tears of frustration and pain stinging my eyes and I looked away, biting my lip – trying to hold back my cry.

“There’s a choice. You just won’t make it. Even if you betray Thanos, even if you help us this time, you’re going to choose this fight. Over, and over, and over again, you’re going to keep fighting Odin and you’re going to kill more of my people and I can’t change that. And for what, Loki? What’s going to happen? This is just going to continue until one of you dies and I can’t do a fucking thing to stop it!”

I wilted, bowing in on myself and closing my eyes. Loki’s hands loosened on my wrists, his motions unsure.

“Dove,” he said tentatively, “to be a king is my birthright – “

“And your child has a birthright to a decent father!”

I sank to my knees, my stomach giving a sickening lurch. I wondered for a moment if I was about to be sick, but instead of bile came wave after wave of tears and wracking sobs. Once Loki let go of my wrists I curled in on myself, hands digging into my hair. I just wanted him to stop, to come home… But instead he stood there, silent, looking down on me with grief, yes, but no less resolution than when I met him in Germany.

“I am… Truly sorry,” Loki murmured, “I promise you that this is for the best, and that I hope that soon you will understand – “

“Just go!”

He fell silent again. Below the ocean crashed against the cliffs and birds began to cry out to each other. I continued to cry, face pressed to the damp grass. My hands loosened after a while, falling out of my hair to lay limply on the ground before me.

He knelt down beside me – I could sense him reach out to touch me, but he stopped, retracting his hand.

“I swear that I will come back for you once this is finished and right all of the wrongs that I have done you. I’ll return for you and the child.”

His hand pressed against mine for a moment, leaving something cool and light in my palm. His lips grazed my hair, and for a moment I could smell the scent of fresh pine that hung to his clothes.

“Come ready to do battle in two days time – the next strike will be at a place called Detroit, Michigan. Goodbye, my love. I’m sorry.”

When I lifted my head, he had vanished. I looked around blearily, closing my hand around the object that he had left behind and wiping my eyes. Once my eyes were suitably dry, I opened my hand again.

In my palm sat an intricate golden ring, an emerald affixed like a blooming flower at its crown. Wrapped around it was a small piece of paper, a familiar, childlike scrawl printed across in black pen:

“Wife.”



I checked my watch, stretching my legs out across the full width of the hallway.

Two hours. She’d been locked in her room crying for two hours.

“Can I come in yet?” I called. Something – probably of mine – shattered against a wall.

“Got it, thanks Dove.”

I sighed, resting the back of my head against the wall. She’d come back crying and swearing a couple hours earlier and, after telling me to set up flight coordinates for Detroit, had disappeared into her room. When we’d first heard the noises coming out of the room Cinderella had made an attempt to break the door down, but I told him to let her cry it out. Mostly for the sake of my door.

Both of the princesses were here with me: Cinderella stood still a few feet to the left, and Sleeping Beauty paced to my right. A few times Sleeping Beauty looked as if he was going to knock on the door, say something, I don’t know, but each time he stopped and resumed his pacing. I’d almost feel sorry for the guy if the image wasn’t ruined by the fact he was holding a giant stuffed bunny rabbit in his arms.

“Hey, did you pull that thing out of the Big Guy’s hat?”

“Shut it, Stark.”

“Just trying to make conversation.”

More time passed in silence. Natasha walked by once – she rolled her eyes at us, annoyed that we were still here but obviously walking by just to do what we were currently doing. Pepper came and asked us if we wanted any coffee. Banner hovered around the end of the hall, pretending that he was going through a normal very early morning routine.

Everyone was a bunch of goddamn liars that were too self-conscious to admit that they were upset.

After the fifth or sixth time Cap paused and resumed his walking, I finally grabbed his ankle. He almost tripped, catching himself with an extra hop and then whirling on me. He opened his mouth to say something snarky, but I raised my hand.

“Look, you’ve been pacing for over two hours. If you want to say something. Just go ahead and say it. You look stupid the way you stop and start like that.”

Cap looked at me, but nodded instead of fighting – which was probably a first. He seemed to make it a rule to not take my advice. I couldn’t judge since I’d do the same if he was the one offering.

“I just don’t want to make things worse. I feel like this is already my fault.”

“It’s not. As much as I love to blame you for life’s woes, I’m putting this one pretty solidly on Loki.”

“But if it wasn’t for me – “

“If it wasn’t for you he would’ve found something else to bitch about. Now go do something helpful for a change.”

Cap nodded, taking a deep breath. I wondered idly if this was what he looked like before he went and did those ridiculous song-and-dance routines in the 40s where he punched Hitler in the face. After a moment his expression flattened, and he held the plush bunny in front of him like his shield and knocked on the metal door.

“Hey, Dove? It’s me, Steve. Look, I know tonight’s been rough and I’m sorry for that, and if you’re feeling up to it…”

Steve trailed off as the lock on the door clicked and it swung slightly open. He blinked, looking at me, then at the door.

“Go get ‘em, Tiger.”

Steve put his hand on the door to push it open. Quickly, though, before he went in, he asked:

“You sure Dove said they were attacking Detroit?”

“Positive. Why?”

“You should know that’s where Dove’s dad is.”

Holy shit. “Duly noted. Thanks for the heads up.”

Cap disappeared into the room, shutting the door behind him. Part of me was insulted that he knew this information already when I didn’t – not too insulted, but a little bit. I always liked being the person that was the most in the know. Still, at least she was telling someone.

I stood, stretching. Man I was stiff – I could use a stiff drink to deal with my stiff joints. It was still technically night, right? I shouldn’t get more than an eye roll from Pepper.

I turned to face Cindy, who was still standing there like a puppy waiting to be let in from the rain. I patted his arm, knowing how he felt.

“Come on, Point Break. She can’t handle any more visitors right now. Besides, I could use a drinking buddy.”

Thor and I sat down in the kitchen together – the glass looked like a kid’s teacup in his hand, I’m not kidding – and sipped at our drinks, though each of the blonde giant’s “sips” took out about half of what I gave him. I sipped a bit more delicately, not possessing the liver of a deity.

“You look all hot and bothered, big guy. What’s up?”

He stared into his tiny cup, thinking – choosing his words, more accurately.

“I am worried – about my brother’s actions, and the damage that they cause to Lady Dove.”

It was cute the way he said “lady” before referring to any female. I nodded.

“I can get that. I think that’s what most of us are thinking about at this exact moment – that, and trying to locate the coffee pot.”

“No, Stark, you do not comprehend. It’s… We Asgardians, we do things differently than mortals do. We, although we do have ‘courtship’ in a way somewhat similar to mortals, have more strict ideas when it comes to family. We Asgardians… We mate for life. This is different from… Love making, Stark – “ god it sounded painful for him to say that and I loved it “ - Love making may happen as part of courtship. But mating, where children are conceived, that is considered a commitment to one’s partner until death. However, my brother has failed in his duties as a father so I am unsure how I should feel. I am conflicted.”

He thought for a moment, staring out the window. I tried to think of something witty, but the small, small part of me that was developed enough to understand social cues told me this was a good time to stay silent. So I waited.

“Dove is my sister, regardless of her choices involving Loki. I shall support her. It is simply difficult to understand this new culture.”

I had a wave of respect for the blonde haired giant. He may have a scary hammer and a weird accent, but dammit, he was a decent fucking person. He could come here to a new world with a new set of ideals, have his brother mess everything up and even get a new demi-god sister that’s knocked up and the big guy just rolled with the punches and was nice to everyone regardless. That was a rare thing in any realm. Hell, I had no idea what I would do in his shoes.

“Hey. Just wanted to say thanks. For being there for the kid, and for helping us take on your brother. It means a lot.”

“Of course, Stark. I apologize for bringing this on your people. Without me none of this would have happened.”

“Maybe, maybe not. Either way, I appreciate your backup.”

I smiled at the big guy and we made a toast, chugging the rest of our glasses down.

It was a while later when I heard Dove and Capsicle emerge from the room – heard because I’d asked Jarvis to tell me, since I was in another part of the building and didn’t have super-hearing like some of my fellow Avengers. I quietly excused myself, sneaking past (poorly) the rest of the Scooby Gang that had emerged and walking down the hallway.

“Where are you going, Stark?” Natasha called after me, looking up from where she sat on the couch.

“Going to rearrange my sock drawer, I have some pictures in it that I need to replace. Thanks for asking,” I replied. I didn’t turn around but I could feel her eyes rolling as I continued down the hallway.

I stopped at the end of the hallway that turned to Dove’s room, pressing quickly against the wall. I held my breath, listening to their footsteps and the sound of lowered voices. I imagined in my head that Capsicle was saying something stirring about freedom, justice, and how the power of friendship and spangley pants were going to be the key to defeating Loki. After a while of waiting in silence I chanced a glance around the corner to see if I was right.

And I saw Captain America and the seventh Avenger, the good Captain sandwiching Dove between him and the wall, locked in a deep face-to-face embrace.

Dove and Cappy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

I quickly pulled my head back, jaw hitting the floor. My first reaction was a loud mental girly scream of triumph and terror. The second was a single thought, horrible and absolute:

Loki is going to kill us all.