Daddy's Miracle

Dr. Cooper almost choked on her coffee.

“A-An abortion?” Zacky nodded sternly, his emerald eyes never breaking their hold on her chocolate ones. “But why? You seemed so happy when you found out! You and Brian-” She stopped when she saw Zacky cringe at his boyfriend’s name. “Brian…where is he?”

Zacky hesitated. If he told anyone about his boyfriend’s departure, it makes it real. He still wanted to cling on to the small hope he made up in his head that Brian might still return and apologize. He bit his lip and started playing with one of his lip rings with his tongue – a nervous habit he always had.

“Zacky?” The doctor asked again. “Zacky, where is Brian?” Zacky sighed.

“He left me. He left a note, I found it a few days ago.” Zacky sighed. It was official now. It wasn’t just him who knew anymore.

“What? He left you? Why? What’d the note say?” Dr. Cooper was baffled. She was there when Brian and Zacky found out they were going to be fathers. Brian held Zacky’s hand. He couldn’t take his eyes off the ultrasound. He had put his head on Zacky’s belly to hear the babys’ heartbeats and his face lit up when he did. It just didn’t make sense!

“I’d really rather not talk about it.” Zacky said quietly, wiping at his eyes for tears had begun to dwell inside.

Dr. Cooper nodded slowly. “Okay. But are you sure you want to go through with this?”

“Yes I’m sure. Every time I feel them kick…every time I look down and see my stomach, or look at myself in the mirror I think of Brian. And I just…” Zacky had to stop for a moment. He was getting too choked up to speak. “I can’t live without him, y’know? He was my everything. I thought he loved me…I thought he loved these kids, but, I guess not. And I know if these kids are born and Brian’s not with me to take care of them…” Zacky couldn’t finish. He buried his face in his hands; he didn’t want Dr. cooper to see him break down, but he couldn’t stop the tears from coming. She walked around the desk and patted Zacky’s back awkwardly as he wept.

“Okay, well if you’re serious, I’ve got to run some tests. It might take a little while, and I’ve only got 15 more minutes on my lunch break so why don’t you go home, and I’ll give you a call.” Zacky just nodded, and slowly exited Dr. Cooper’s office. He was still a messy weeping mess when he got into his car. God, he hated himself. He never cried. He always wore the tough-guy punk rocker costume. Now look at him. Being pregnant made him soft.

He sat and cried in his car until he noticed people walking by started to give him weird looks as they passed. He sighed. If he was going to cry, it might as well be at the safety of his apartment. He continued to weep the whole ride home and even after he arrived. He felt weak. A whole fucking week has passed since Brain left and he still can’t go a whole day without crying like a baby.

His weeping had started to calm down a bit when he heard a knock on the door. His heart skipped a beat. Could it be Brian? He jumped up from the couch and all but ran to the door. He eagerly glanced through the peephole and saw his friend Jimmy standing there. He sighed sadly and opened the door to let him in. If it was anyone else, he’d try to get them to leave, but he hasn’t talked to Jimmy in forever.
He didn’t even know he and Brian were together.

“Hi, Jimmy.” Zacky said unenthusiastically as the tall man walked in.

“Hey Zacky! How have you been? Woah, what happened to you?” Jimmy said, staring down at Zacky’s
massive, swollen belly. “You really let yourself go since last time I saw you, didn’t you?” Jimmy laughed and patted Zacky’s stomach. Zacky sighed again and led his old friend to the couch.
“Here, Jimmy, let me explain to you everything that’s happened.” Jimmy’s smile disappeared and his face took on a look of concern.

“What is it? Is everything okay?”

“Uh…no. Not really.” Zacky took a seat in the chair next to the couch. “So I guess you’re probably wondering about…” Zacky gestured to his stomach and Jimmy nodded. “Well you see…I’m pregnant.” Jimmy’s eyes got wide.

“Holy shit dude you’re huge! How many babies you got in there?” Jimmy said loudly, the smile returning to his face.

“Um, two…just two.” Zacky said quietly.

“Woah dude that’s weird. How does that even work?”

“Well the doc said I was born with a female reproductive system so…” Jimmy thought about this for a moment.

“Wait…wouldn’t that mean a dude would have to…” He trailed off.

“Oh um yeah….Well, that's the thing. I’m gay.” Jimmy’s eyes got wide again, then he started laughing nosily.

“Ha-ha I knew it! I always knew it! I always could tell!” Jimmy playfully hit Zacky on his arm who faked a smile and a laugh. “So who’s the baby daddy?”

“Brian is.” Jimmy started laughing again, so loud it actually startled Zacky a little.

“Haner? Haner’s gay too?” Zacky nodded and Jimmy roared with more laughter. “Oh God this is too much!” In his fit of laughter he pointed a shaky finger at Zacky. “And he got you pregnant! Oh God that’s awesome!” Zacky let him let out his laughter for a few moment more. “Say, where is Haner anyway?” Zacky couldn’t help himself. He broke down right in front of Jimmy and he couldn’t stop.

“Woah geez, what did I say?” Jimmy jumped up from his seat on the couch and went to sit on the arm of the chair Zacky was in. “Zacky, tell me what’s wrong.” Jimmy said softly, rubbing his friend’s back in small circles, just like Brian used to do.

“H-He left me.” Zacky choked out between shaky breaths. “H-He left a note…and it said he didn’t want the kids, so he just ditched.” Zacky couldn’t explain further because he was overcome by more sobs and sniffles. His pregnancy was making him overly emotional. Jimmy let him cry on his shoulder and continued to rub his back. They stayed like that for a while until Zacky finally wiped his nose on his sleeve and looked up at the drummer.

“I-I’m so sorry, Jimmy. I ruined your shirt.”

“Shh, Zacky. Don’t worry about my-” Something stopped him from continuing. “Zacky, let me see your wrists.” Zacky pulled away from Jimmy. The drummer could see fear in his eyes.

“No. Why? Why would you want to see—” Jimmy ignored Zacky’s protests, grabbed one of his arms and pushed down the sleeve. He stared down and multiple scars and cuts running all the way down to Zacky’s elbow. Some looked pretty deep.

“Zacky...W-Why would you do this to yourself? I don’t understand.” Zacky refused to look at the drummer’s questioning blue eyes with his emerald ones. He didn’t have an answer for Jimmy. He had no idea why he did it to himself, to be honest. He just felt so depressed, he had to cope somehow.

“Zacky, you are pregnant. How do you expect to take care of two more lives, especially since Brian’s gone, if you can’t even take care of your own?”

“I don’t.” Zacky could feel Jimmy’s eyes still on him but he kept his glued to the floor. “I went to the doctor’s today…asking for an abortion.” Jimmy jumped up out of his place on the arm of Zacky’s chair.

“An abortion?! What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?!” Zacky just shrugged.

“I don’t want to raise these kids without Brian, Jim. And they’re the reason why he left. So I thought if I got rid of them...” Zacky suddenly felt a white-hot pain in his cheek. His head was forced to one side when Jimmy’s hand collided with it. Zacky’s hand flew up to caress his now-red cheek.

“Don’t talk like that, man! You are going to love these kids more than anything in this world! And without Brian, you are going to raise them, and goddammit, I’m going to be an uncle!” At that moment, the phone rang and Jimmy had to help Zacky out of his seat to go answer it. Jimmy watched Zacky’s facial expressions as he talked. He couldn’t make out what was happening due to Zacky’s face showing as much expression as a rock. He finally said ‘thank you’ to whoever called and hung up.

“Who was that?” Jimmy asked.

“It was the doctor I talked to about getting an abortion.”

“And?”

Zacky sighed. “She said I was too far along to get one. So now I’m stuck with these little demons that drove my Brian away.” Zacky felt tears returning to his eyes but he held them back.

“Don’t make me slap you again. Because I will! Now listen to me.” Jimmy grabbed both of Zacky’s shoulders and shook him slightly. “I’m gonna go talk to Brian and see if I can’t get him to come back.
You are going to fucking shape up, stop wallowing in self-pity, and take care of your fucking kids!” Zacky just nodded, not really wanting to argue with him anymore. Zacky and Jimmy said their goodbyes and Jimmy departed.

“I guess I’m stuck with you guys.” Zacky said to his belly. The twins kicked him lightly in response and Zacky couldn’t hold back his smile.