I'm Convinced We Don't Make Sense

I woke up cuddled against Vic, breathing in the scent of his skin, a smile appearing on my lips. I couldn't be happier with how my life is right now, but I was bothered. There was something wrong and I hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. I hadn't stopped thinking about Carolina. She dropped by last night, unexpected, wanting to call off the proposal to Tony.
I look over at the digital clock on the dresser next to my bed and it reads 7:20am. I let out a deep breath.

"You're up early.." I hear Vic mumble.

I turn to him apologetically. "Did I wake you up? I hardly made any noise, weirdo," I chuckled.

He grins and stretches his arms. "You kept moving around the bed all night long. Did you have bad dreams?"

I sat up, staring at my hands on top of the bed sheets. "No... I can't stop thinking about Carolina."

He sighs, sitting up as well. "Oh yeah... dammit..."

"I have to go talk to her again. No being awkward, nothing like that. She's my best friend and I'm going to be there for her every step of the way. Whether she decides to go through with this or not."

Vic nods. "Exactly."

I get off the bed and start walking to the bathroom before I hear Vic call out my name softly. I turn around and face him. "Huh?"

He rubs the back of his head. "Tony... he's not gonna be.. he's... gonna be a wreck.." he says.

"I know," I say and look down.

"He's like a brother to me, Issa. If I have to see him like how he was back when him and Carol were on bumpy roads again, it's gonna hurt. Tony being broken hearted... it's just not right."

I sigh.

"Maybe you can talk to her, you know, try not let this happen?"

"Vic, I'm not promising anything. Tony is a close friend to me too, but I'm not going to make her feel guilty and have her go on with this when she isn't in the right mode to. It'll just make their relationship fall apart in the future."

He nods, understanding. "Right.."

I walk over to him and peck his lips. "But I promise.. I'll try."

~

Carolina's POV:

I rub my face with my hands before taking another big gulp of my straight, black coffee. I can't stop fidgeting my foot up and down and this is my fourth cup of coffee I've had since I've been awake, which has been since 3am. I got back from Marisa and Vic's place and couldn't find it in me to go back into bed with Tony. I don't deserve a guy like him. He's done so much for me and for me to not want to marry him will be more than a slap in the face for him. I love him so much, so why can't I marry him? Why am I so scared?
I hear some shuffling going on in the bedroom and I'm brought to a panic. I can't do this, I can't face him right now. I don't want him to look at me like this. He'll know exactly what I'm going to do. He'll know that I'm about to break his heart. I quickly grab my keys and jacket and head out the door, practically sprinting to my car.
I've never been much of a coward, but I guess right now, my true colors are showing.

~

Tony's POV:

I stretch my arms out, reaching for the warmth of my girl only to my surprise, grab nothing but air. My eyes open and I'm shocked to see no one laying down next to me. I sit up and grab my phone. It's almost 8 in the morning. But why on Earth would she be awake so early on a weekend? I shrug it off, thinking she's in the restroom.

"Carolina..." I softly sing as I open the bathroom door only to find no one there. I sigh and start to walk into the hallway, leading up to the kitchen and living room. "Babe?"

There are no sounds of someone being here, not a microwave, tv... nothing. And as right as it sounded, it looked. No one here.

"What?" I ask confused.

I walk to the bedroom and grab my phone, immediately calling her. Maybe she's at the store or something.. but the call goes straight to voicemail. And after about three other calls, I give up. Each one went to voicemail. I sit on the bed thinking about where on earth she can be and why she isn't picking up her phone until I hear a knock on the door. I pull a plain, black shirt on and quickly walk to the door.

"Marisa?" I ask, confused. She stares back at me with a worried expression and I can already tell it has something to do with Carolina. And it most definitely isn't good.

"How've you been, Marisa?" I ask as I shut the door behind her. She sets her keys down on the kitchen table and takes a seat.

"I've been great, Tony," she mumbles and looks up with a small smile.

I nod and lean against the couch. "Good... good."

We stay in silence for a couple minutes before I have to break it.

"I'm sorry, but, I know you didn't come over at 8 in the morning for me to ask how you've been. You look worried and I have this horrible feeling in my gut that it has something to do with Carolina."

She stares at me with a broken expression. "Tony."

I quickly take a seat across from her at the table. "What's going on Marisa? When I woke up she wasn't here. She isn't answering my calls... what's going on?"

"I know- Tony-"

"You know I proposed to her, right? Have you two spoke? I did the thing at the beach and spilled everything I had onto her and- we're getting married, you know that right?"

"Tony, you need to listen to what I'm about to say right now," she says sternly.

I shut my mouth and lean back, not wanting to hear whatever she's about to say if it's not about where Carolina is.

"Listen to me, okay? To everything I have to say. Don't get up and leave- just stay there until I'm done talking, okay? You understand?"

I swallow and nod.

She takes a deep breath, letting it out, and stares at me. "She came to my place last night with puffy eyes telling me how she's engaged to you now. She's happy, but she's overwhelmed-"

"Wha-"

She raises her finger up at me and I shut my mouth, running my hands through my hair in frustration.

"She's overwhelmed, Tony. She's scared and she doesn't think she can go on with marrying you. Now, just recently she called me. Literally right when I got here I got a call from her. She wants to call the proposal off, Tony."

I feel my heart and everything else in me break into a thousand pieces. I expected everything but this. This time, when she expects me to speak, I have no words.

She sighs. "I'm not going to tell her anything on what she should do, Tony. I won't force her into anything she doesn't feel like she's ready for.. I do, with all my heart, want for her to be happy with her life and for you two be happy- that's all I've ever wanted for you and her, Tony."

I stare down at the table, my eyes getting watery at everything being said to me.

"She's at the beach. Where you two met. She thinks I'm on my way right now, but you're going to go over there and talk to her about this. Not me."

"And what the fuck am I supposed to say to her?!" I yell and stand up, knocking over the chair as I walk to living room. "She wants to break off the proposal?! She doesn't want to be with me?! I thought she loved me, for fucks sake!" Anger scorches through me as everything I've been told finally processes.

"Tony!" Marisa yells. "You're going to go to that beach, have her face you, and tell her that you love her! You're going to get through this with her because I know you do! Of all the years I've known you, Perry, I know that when you love something or someone- you do whatever it takes to keep that something or someone in your life no matter what!"

"Did you not talk to her? Did she not tell you that she wants to call this off?!" I yell back, trying hard not to let the tears fall. "Do you know how much that hurts?! I poured everything I had into her! And I get this response back!? Do you not realize how much... this fucking hurts..?"

She sighs and stands up, walking to me and putting a hand on my shoulder. My gaze slowly drops to the floor.

"No, I can't imagine how much this hurts you. I really can't. But what I do know, is that you'll find a way through this. I know that even though you're pretty much broken from what I've told you right now, you're still going to drive over to that beach and face her. And you're going to do something about this and fix it. You'll fix her because when you fix her, you'll fix you. I know how much she means to you, Tony. Because of you, I'm happy now. With Vic. You helped me. You told me things were going to work out and find it's place and be okay. I'll be dammed if you don't take you're own advice, Tony."

I look up at her glossy eyes and wrap my arms around her, giving her a tight hug, letting a tear or two slip out from my eyes. "Thank you."

She wraps her small arms around me as well. "It doesn't have to be all or nothing, Tony."

I pull away from the hug and nod.

"I never thought she'd forgive me for what happened, but it's always what you dont expect to happen, happen."

I grab my car keys and give her one last hug. "I love you, Issa."

She messes with my hair and chuckles. "Love yah too, Perry. Now go and talk to your girl."

I give her one last smile before heading out to my car.

I'm either coming back home with her safely mine again or.. alone.