I'm Convinced We Don't Make Sense

I look into the mirror one last time. I let out a frustrated sigh and try fixing my hair and re-touching my make-up. Marisa walks in behind me and pulls me out of the bathroom. She shakes me gently. “You. Look. Great,” she says slowly.

I sigh again and look down. “I’m just nervous,” I mumble. She chuckles and grabs my hand, pulling me towards the living room.

“Are you sure I look okay? This shirt- it’s not too short? My hair… Should I pull it up? Fuck, my make-up feels all-“

“Carolina! Quit being so harsh on yourself! You look beautiful! Tony’s eyes will never leave you.”

I play with a strand of my hair. Just take the damn compliment and quit being annoyingly stubborn, I say to myself. “Okay. Okay. Thanks,” I say and pull off a smile. Marisa sits down on the couch and smirks at me.

“That smile ain’t fooling anyone. Believe me, Carolina.”

I let out a laugh and walk to her, sitting down next to her. “Your fake smiles aren’t fooling me either, Marisa. Last night when you came back home from work, you looked uber ticked off. Could you tell me what happened now?”

Her smirk vanishes from her face and she props her elbows on her knees, laying her head on her hands, frowning. “I went off on Vic...”

“Oooh..”

She looks up at me and makes a face. “I said some pretty mean things.”

“Issa…”

“I don’t regret it,” she says and looks at me straight in the eyes. “He deserved each and every word said to him. I’m sick of his fucking ways. What? All because Cara is away he puts me back in the picture?! I’m no second choice. Nuh-Uh!” she stands up and starts to pace. “I’m sick of it.”

I stand up and touch her shoulder. ”I’m glad you finally said something to him,” I say calmly.

She looks up at me, her face calming down.

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t start to write songs about you now. You’ve told me how emotional he gets when it comes to these types of things.”

She chuckles and rolls her eyes. “Ugh- don’t even joke around about that!”

We laugh and just then the doorbell rings. I gasp and my eyes get wide. Marisa notices my reaction and laughs, walking to the door. She opens it and low and behold, a great looking Tony stands there. With his hands stuffed in his pockets, he looks up and smiles at Marisa. “Issa, what’s up?, he greets, pulling her into a quick hug. I take this time to put little strands of my hair back in place and straighten out my shirt. He looks so good, it’s intimidating actually. What a hell of a guy, oh god. Now my hands are sweaty.

“Nice shirt, Perry,” Marisa says poking his stomach. He’s wearing, of course, LBG. A black shirt with the logo on the heart of it, an LBG hoodie over it as well.

“Designed by the best!” he says and pats her back.

I laugh and Tony looks up at me.

“Hello, Carolina. Hope I wasn’t too late,” he says with a smile.

“Nope, not late at all…”I breathe out and smile back.

“Welp! You two better go now. Don’t bring her back too late, alright Tony? If anything happens, I will personally kick your ass,” Marisa says and playfully punches his arm. He laugh and rubs where she punched.

“Alright alright!” he says. I grab my small bag, and give her a hug before heading out the door with Tony.

“If you need me, I’ll be at Jaxin’s working,” she murmurs. “Have fun, alright?” she winks at me then looks at Tony. I giggle and nod.

“Sure thing, Issa. See ya!”

Tony unlocks his black Range Rover and opens the car door for me. “You ready for a fun day?”

I stare into his eyes and almost forget to breathe. “I’m more than ready.”

As we drive off into the San Diego streets, the butterflies won’t stop flying around in my stomach. This is going to be an amazing day.

Tony’s POV:
Carolina and I had explored almost every area of San Diego, I showed her stores, the mall, bars, clubs, restaurants, movie theaters, and music venues. Finally we were at the beach, I thought it’d be best to end our night here. The entire day I had tried to keep my mind on Carolina, and Carolina only, but Mike would text me about how upset Vic was. It was really messing my day up, I didn’t want Vic to be upset or anything, he’s one of my best friends.

“Tony?” Carolina spoke, taking me from my thoughts.

“Huh?” I asked.

“Thanks for today,” she said with a smile. I nodded as I noticed she held onto her arms, attempting to create warmth.

“What a dick,” I muttered, accidently loud enough for her to hear though, she shot me a confused look. “I-I meant I was the dick. You’re cold,” I mentioned, I took off my black hoodie and handed it to her.

“Oh no, Tony you don’t have to-“

“I insist, really,” I spoke, “I’d feel horrible if I had you cold.” She nodded and took my hoodie, slipping it onto her as we continued to walk in the sand. “Look, Carolina I’m really sorry if I haven’t been here all that much today,” I sighed. “I’ve just been thinking about a lot today.”

“About what?” she asked, stopping in her tracks.

“Where do I start?” I smirked. She chuckled slightly and sat on the sand, she patted the spot next to her signaling for me to sit next to her. I sat next to her and let out a small sigh.

“Alright,” I started. “Vic has been really upset about what Marisa said to him yesterday. I really don’t want him upset, but Marisa was right about everything except for telling him to fuck off. But it’s bugging me, you know?”

“I understand,” she nodded. “You’re kind of stuck in the middle.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “There’s that great drama and then it keeps hitting me that we’ll be leaving for tour in a month or so, it’s a lot of fun but it slightly bums me out. We’ll be on tour till almost Christmas and honestly I don’t want to leave because I like spending time with you. And trust me, it’s crossed my mind to ask you to come along but you have a job and-and,” I stopped my outburst of rambling. “…And I really shouldn’t have said all of that,” I sighed.

Marisa’s POV:
Here I was again, staring at my ceiling, extremely bored and alone. I was excited for Carolina to get home because I wanted to hear all about her day.

I hope you like the stars I stole for you He’d whisper in my ear night after night when we slept in my room together. I never took the stars down, but I think it was time to. I stood up on my bed and reached to pull the first star down. Come on, just do it. My phone rung suddenly, making me almost fall off my bed. I sat down on my bed and reached over for my phone to answer the call, it was Mike.

“Hello dearest, Michael,” I sang into the phone.

“Hey Iss,” he said in a monotone.

“What is it?” I asked, laying down with the phone pressed to my ear.

“You know what,” he said in the same tone.

“Mike-“

“Issa, he was just trying to be your friend again,” he sighed.

“Mike, Vic and I were never really just friends, ever. We didn’t have that point in our messed up relationship where there was a friendship. He only wanted to be my friend when Cara left, that hurt me,” I explained.

“Okay, okay, you have a point,” he responded. “But he’s a wreck.”

“It’s hard for me to have sympathy for the one that made me a wreck at one point. I don’t see how-” I stopped when I heard the front door open and slam. “Mike, we’ll talk again later. I have to go. Love you beautiful!” I shouted.

He laughed, “Love you freak.”

I hung up, putting my phone in my pocket and going downstairs. “Caroli-” I shouted as I reached the stairs. I stopped at the top step, Vic stood there by the door. “You…aren’t Carolina.”

“Nope,” he slurred.

“Are you drunk?” I asked, walking down the steps slowly.

“Sort of…?” he questioned. “There was nothing to do and you still hide your key under the sunflower pot. So I decided to get hammered because my life sucks and come see you. But shh,” he said, putting a finger to his lips. “I know you never wanna see me again,” he mimicked my voice.

“And why does your life suck?” I asked.

“Because I desperately want to be your friend, but you hate me. Oh and Cara knows-knows,” he slurred.

“Knows what?” I asked.

“You don’t care,” he rolled his eyes. “I’m so tired.”

“Come on,” I rolled my eyes. I took his hand and slowly led him upstairs. I took him into my room, he went straight for the bed and I shut the door behind me. I walked over to the bed and sat down as he sprawled himself out.

“What happened to us?” he muttered. “We were something. You made my lyrics make sense. We were happy,” he sighed, his eyes were glazed over.

“You were still in love with Cara,” I mumbled. “I wasn’t what you really wanted.”

“But,” he said, laying on his back and staring at the stars. “You were all I wanted.”

“Not anymore,” I breathed.

“She knows though. She knows you were all I wanted. She knows I still l-” again the front door opened and closed. I shot up from the bed.

“Vic, go to bed. Goodnight,” I said, quickly leaving the room. I walked out of the room and went down the stairs. Carolina stood there with a small smile on her lips and a new found hoodie on her. I had to make sure she wouldn’t find out Vic was here.

Carolina's POV:
As I walk inside the house, the thoughts in my mind are racing. What am I supposed to do? Tony obviously expected something from me, something else other than a stupid little hug. After everything he told me too- oh gosh, I am such a-

“Carolina!” I hear Marisa say. She jogs down the stairs and I smile.

“Hey, Marisa,” I greet. She smirks at me.

“Tony’s jacket...?” she asks and touches it.

I let out a small laugh and sigh. “Yeah.. it was cold. He told me to give it back to him some other day.”

I look down, staring at my feet.

“So? What happened? How did everything go?!”

I clear my throat and look back up. “It was amazing, of course. He took me to a lot of nice places.”

“Aw! Well, what else?”

I shrug. “Well, he took me to the beach and we kinda.. talked for a while there.”

“Oh, about?”

I walk to the couch and sit down. I skip the part about Vic and her, I don’t want to remind her about that. “He told me about how they’re going on tour in a month or so...”

“Oh yeah," she nodded.

“And that he’s a little bummed out about it.”

“Bummed out? Why?”

She comes and sits down next to me. “Because...he said that because he likes spending time with me.”

She gasps. “Aww!”

I stand up and bite my thumb nail. “And that he was thinking about asking me if I’d like to go with him but he knows I have a job and then he told me that he’d like to get to know me better before heading out to tour and that he thinks I’m really cool and that he likes me and-,“ I stop myself right there. I find myself pacing around the living room. My hands are sweaty and I can’t stop biting my nail.

Next thing I know, Marisa is standing in front of me. “Carolina, calm down... what did you say?”

I stare at her, eyes wide open. “I-I didn’t know what to say. He expected me to say something- but nothing was coming out of my mouth. So... I just gave him a hug..”

“A hug?” she questioned confusedly.

I put my head in my hands. “I know! I know! I was so stuck- I- oh shit, Marisa, I fucked it all up! He was expecting me to say something back!”

Marisa peels my hands away and stares at me. “No, you didn’t fuck anything up, alright? This was all coming at you so fast. It’s okay!”

“He’s amazing, Marisa! He really is- I do like him, I do!”

She nods and brings me in for a hug. “It’s okay. It’s okay,” she mumbles.

“But I just...I-I don’t know...”

She pulls away from me and sighs. “After that...I told him I should head back home, that I have work early tomorrow… and so he took me home. The drive back was horrible. I couldn’t stand the silence. Then when I was about to leave, I just gave him another hug. Fuck, Marisa. I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t break your head over it, okay? All you need right now is sleep. I’m sure Tony will understand. He gave you a lot of things to think over today.”

“It shouldn’t be this hard.. I like him. He’s great...it’s just- I’m so scared. It’s been two days and I’m already starting to fall this hard for him? I just- I can’t do this.” I take his jacket off and place it on the sofa. “I think I’m just gonna go to bed. I really do have work early tomorrow.”

Marisa nods. “Okay.. okay.. Don’t stress about this, alright?”

I give her a smile. “Yeah, alright.”

Just then, I hear a door slam upstairs. I look at Marisa and she stares at me.

“What was that…?” I ask, walking towards the stairs.

She walks up in front of me. “What? I didn’t hear anything.”

I give her a look. “Uh, there’s was a noise that came from-“

Then, I hear a door shut again. “There it is! I know you heard that!”

I walk past her and jog up the stairs. “There’s someone here,” I mumble.

“Nobody is here!” she says walking up next to me. “You’re going crazy, Carolina. I did not hear a thing.”

I look down the hall and see no one. “All of this is really sketchy, Marisa.”

She shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I stare at her for a good minute then finally give up. “Whatever. I’m going to bed now!” I say and walk to my room. Marisa pats my back.

“Okay then. Goodnight. Don’t let what happened today bother you, alright?”

I nod. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll try. Night.”

I get in my room and shut the door behind me. I stare into my mirror as I take off my earrings and sigh.

What’s wrong with me? He’s an amazing guy. And I like him. Right? Yes, of course I do. But it’s only been a couple of days! He likes you... he wants to spend more time with you... he thinks you’re great… I’m the reason why he’s bummed out for going on tour.

I’m the reason.

“Fuck,” I say under my breath. I flop down on my bed, not even wanting to put my PJs on.

It really shouldn’t be this hard.
I like him. He likes me.
So?!
I shut my eyes and cover my face with my pillow. I don’t know.

I don’t know.