Sail

"You asked her out?" Byron exclaimed.

"For fuck's sake!" Chandler rushed to cover his best friend's mouth but it was too late. They'd been within earshot, which was entirely Chandler's fault.

"You asked who out?" Chandler's mother asked. Cecilia was always hoping that her son would find a nice young lady to settle down with.

"Nothing Ma. No one asked out anyone."

"Some girl name Briana or something," Chelsea said without looking up from her phone. She was busy tweeting and re-tweeting but had still managed to be eavesdropping on her brother's conversation. "Chandler called her on the phone and they were talking about tornadoes or something then he asked her out. She said yes."

Chandler stared at his younger sister. "Incredible."

Cecilia took her son's hands. "So tell me about this Briana girl!"

"Her name is actually Briella," Byron interjected.

"Thanks a lot Byron." Chandler shook his head as his former best friend took a seat at the dinner table. He looked around helplessly for something to distract his mother with. Corinne and Ted were alternating between putting food on their own plates and making sure two year old Connor didn't make a mess in his high chair. Carson wouldn't be back from South Korea for another six months, the lucky bastard, so his wife Jessie exempted herself from Sunday dinners most of the time. Chloe, Chandler's other younger sister was upstairs putting five year old Cynthia down for a nap. He had always been proud of Chloe for being to raise such an amazing child at sixteen.

"Don't encourage him Cecilia," Forrest said. He sat at the head of the table and stared over the rims of his glasses with a hard expression. It was the one he used in the court rooms but now it was aimed at Chandler. "Just sit so we can eat."

"We'll talk about this later," she whispered before taking her seat.

Chandler rolled his eyes and sat next to Byron, being sure to send his flatware to the ground in the process. He feigned innocence when Byron glared at him.

"Did you get the email I sent you the other day?" Forrest asked as he jabbed at a forkful of salad. "It had about two or three entry level positions that you could apply for."

"Yeah, I got it."

"How many did you apply to?"

"None."

His father slammed his fork down, causing nearly everyone to jump. "Chandler..."

"Honey, let's not do this right now. Let's talk about something else," Cecilia suggested. She turned to look at her youngest daughter. "So, Chels, are you still dating that girl?"

"Of all the things to talk about, you want to talk about lesbianism?" Corinne asked, wiping Connor's chin. "I'd much rather hear Dad tear into Chandler for being such a waste of space."

"What the hell Corinne?" Chandler yelled.

"Oh, come on. All you do is strum on your little guitar, play around with your little band, and put in as little hours as you can at that crappy little record store. Not only is it stereotypical of just about every other artist out there who's struggling to make it, but it's just sad."

"The woman makes a lot of sense," Forrest commented.

Corinne turned to their father. "Don't even get me started on you, you male chauvinist. If it weren't for your sexist ways, I'd be the one taking advantage of these opportunities that Chandler keeps on throwing away. I'd be a great asset to Wilson and Wilson except for the fact that I'm a woman."

"Sweetie, calm down." Ted leaned over to whisper soothing things in his wife's ear.

"Didn't I ask for something nice to talk about?"

Chandler ignored his mother. "If you're so smart, so perfect than why do you even listen to what he says? It's your life Corinne and if you want to be a lawyer, then you should be a damn lawyer! Who cares that it won't be for the family firm. If Dad doesn't want you, it's on him."

Forrest pointed his fork across the table. "You watch your mouth."

"Can I be excused?" Chelsea asked. "I obviously want no part in this."

As the youngest stood from the table Corinne chuckled bitterly. "And that one gets to do whatever the hell she wants. Could you imagine me coming home with half the piercings Chelsea has when I was her age? I tell you, I still wouldn't be able to sit nine years later."

"It's not my fault Mom and Dad wasted all their energy in trying to help Chloe raise her kid!"

"Hey," Chandler said to the fifteen year old girl. "Have some respect. You have no idea how hard it is for her."

Chelsea rolled her eyes and moved away from the table. "As much freedom as you guys think I have, you don't see me out there sleeping around like Chloe was."

"What did you just say?" Chloe asked, appearing in the doorway. "You want to repeat that, muff muncher?"

Chelsea's jaw dropped. "I can't believe you just said that."

From there, things spiraled out of control. Chandler felt as though he were drowning in tumultuous ocean waves of insult after insult. That's what happened when you had so many people from the same blood, in such close proximity to each other so often. He couldn't stand it for much longer and found himself dashing from his parents' house. Byron followed close behind him and they drove away without looking back.

Chandler slowed to a stop at a red light. He gripped the steering wheel and tried to level his breathing.

Byron glanced at him. "I guess I'm not invited to next Sunday's dinner."