The Silence.

Cecily walked out of Max’s house zipping up her jumper. The sun was barely coming up in the grey sky. She wanted to make sure she got out of his flat before he woke up. She hated having awkward morning afters with him. She bit her lip as she concentrated on looking through her purse trying to find her keys. When she finally found them she quickly got into her car and drove towards her flat.

The second she got into her flat she stripped her clothes off quietly trying not to wake up her sister, and walked towards her bedroom. She crawled into bed and fell asleep with in moments.

Whenever she “stayed” over Max’s she barely slept. Her sleepovers she had with Max always ended up her staying over until he was sound asleep and then she would quietly leave.

Max brought out the best and the worse in her. The best was whenever she was around him he made her extremely happy. The worse being he made her completely fear getting hurt. Cecily wasn’t one to put her heart out there. She had a fear of getting completely heartbroken. After watching her parents marriage fall apart and her older sister Danielle get her heart broken by too many guys to count, Cecily became a very closed off person.

Cecily woke up to her alarm she set letting her know it was a half hour to noon. She crawled out of bed slipping on her jumper that was on the ground, and a pair a of cotton shorts that were by the dirty clothes hamper she had in the corner of her room. She zipped up her jumper half way and walked out into the hall. She was caught off guard when she heard familiar laughter in the kitchen. She walked into the kitchen to find Danielle and Max sitting at the kitchen table talking and drinking some tea.

“Morning love.” Max said giving her a grin.

“Morning.” She said confused on why he was in her kitchen.

“Cecily how did you sleep?” Danielle said standing up and walking over to the counter to make her sister a cup of tea.

“Well.” She said walking over and sitting where her sister was sitting at the table across from Max.

“I bet you did after you left my place.” Max said giving her a grin before taking a drink of his tea. She was really at a loss of words she had no clue what to say to him. “Well I’m going to step out and have a smoke. Cecily you should join me.” He wasn’t really asking her it was more of a request.

“Okay.” She got up and followed him out on to the balcony. She leaned against the railing as he stuck a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. She looked at the ground as he held the pack towards her offering her one. She looked up and grabbed on of her own sticking it in her mouth.

“You know you by now you think I would be used to waking up and finding you gone.” He said before taking another hit. She was quiet as she watching him inhaled the smoke before exhaling it into the grey sky. “I cant help but feel like I’m doing something wrong here.” He said as she looked at the ground. “Do you really have nothing to say?”

“What do you want me to say?” She asked finally speaking.

“I don’t know, maybe you could let me know what’s going on in your head.” He said staring at her as she continued to look at the ground and stay silent. “I don’t know what to do to make you trust me.”

“I trust you.” She said simply.

“Do you really?” He asked dropping his cigarette to the ground. “Because I feel like if you trusted me you would maybe stay all night for once and not leave me the second I fall asleep.”

“I trust you.” She repeated as she dropped her cigarette to the ground before stepping on it.

“I have never had someone confuse me as much as you have confused me.” He said running his fingers through his hair. Once again she was silent. “I mean one minute you are all warm and cozy with me and want to spend time with me, then out of nowhere you go cold. The simple act of staying all night at my place makes you run away.” He stared at her hoping she would finally look him in the eyes. “I what can I do to make you stay?” He asked almost pleading. He wanted nothing more then to have a normal relationship with Cecily, but was making it impossible.

“Is this all really about me not spending the night?” She asked looking him finally in the eyes.

“For fuck sake Cecily this isn’t only about you leaving me in the middle of the night. It’s also about the fact that we can’t seem to have a normal relationship. You shut down on me out of nowhere.” This was the first time she had ever heard Max raise his voice at her and it completely caught her off guard.

“I can’t give you what you want.” She said staring him straight in the eyes.

“Damn it just me in.” He said stepping closer to her.

“Max lets just end this before either of us get more hurt.” She said.

“Are you being serious?” He was taken back. “Cecily you aren’t even trying. Once again you are running scare.” He ran his hands through his hair once again. “I remember that night when I brought you home after Dan’s birthday and you told me that you don’t want to get your heartbroken like your mom and Danielle have, I promise you I’m not going to hurt you. So just stop running away from me and let me in.” He said putting his hands on her shoulders and staring her right in the eyes.

“Max just stop.” She shouted. She had it she couldn’t deal with him almost begging her.

“Cecily I’m not just going to stop, I don’t want to lose you.” He said as his eyes started to water. She wasn’t sure if he was crying from anger or crying from sadness. I could have even been a mixture of both.

“You already have.” She said as tears started sliding down her cheek.

“I never actually stood a chance with you.” He said releasing her. “The sad thing is that I actually thought I loved you, but obviously you are not capable of loving someone.” He said pushing the tears off his cheek.

She was completely silent as tears continued to fall down her cheek.

“I’m sorry I wasted your time.” He said walking inside.

She walked inside behind him quietly. The second he walked out the front door she felt a feeling of emptiness. She regretted letting him go but she knew it was for the best. She knew if they would have carried on any longer he would have been even more hurt. Cecily walked into the kitchen and quickly grabbed a cloth and soaked it in cool water. She cleaned her face. She turned around to see Danielle standing in the doorway.

“I see you crushed him.”

“It’s best its over.” She said walking passed her sister towards her bedroom.

“Cecily you should let someone in for once.” Her sister said walking behind her.

“It’s best I don’t.” She said shutting her bedroom door.

Once again Cecily was alone, and it was really for the best she thought.