Letting Go

"Oh! And this is one of the day we got our elements when we were seven. It was one of our 'completely on sync' moments. We were on a family vacation, one of the rare moments when we were all together without having to act like the perfect royal family." Raija hands me the photo chip- a small electronic device that projects the image just like a real photo on a small, 2D holographic screen.

The picture is of she, Scott and me on the beach. We look so happy, Raija and me in white bathing suits and our hair in pigtails, and Scott in white swim trunks. And then there are all of the odd elements in the photo, like the purple clouds, and the ocean. The water is bright orange, some parts more yellow because of the sun reflecting off of it.

But the thing that stands out the most, is that hovering over our heads while we hold our arms straight up, huge grins on our faces, is a giant amount of water.

"We were so happy," Scott muses smiling. "It's rare, even for twins, that they all get the same element. And we all got water. I remember we got back that night and had a celebration. That was when we officially received our crowns. The very next day. Except you."

I look at him in confusion. "Why didn't I get mine?"

He grins. "You put up such a fuss, that's why. You always wanted to be different. So you refused to have a regular crown. You wanted a necklace. So it took about two days of you and the jeweler brainstorming, before you got that necklace. Only then we're you happy, and you really did set a huge trend in school. Everyone started recreating fakes of your necklace."

I smile, looking down at my necklace, layered over the one Glen gave me on Earth, and retract the photo just as Raija's Maima-a device not unlike the holographic cell phone Glen used in the car on Earth-rings loudly.

"We have to go," She sighs. She frowns at me. "Are you sure you're going to be okay? We can stay here with you-"

"No, no"-I wave them off my bed-"I'll be fine. Really, go on."

Scott waves as he walks out, and Raija gives me a quick hug. "See you later."

When she's gone, I lean back against my pillows, staring at the ceiling, and suddenly there is a vast need in me to get out. I don't know why but I need to get away from this house.

I get out of bed and slip into the closet, pulling on a drab grey shirt and black sweat pants, both incredibly light, though they look heavy, and a pair of tennis shoes, before walking downstairs.

I pause in the doorway to the crystal room, seeing Mom by the window, at the window seat, looking out solemnly. Her silver-white hair seems to glow in the sunlight, and her light brown skin is luminous. But I frown when something reflects off of her cheek in the light. Then another appears, and they both slide down her cheeks.

She's crying.

Just as I begin to move towards her, the kitchen door swings open and Dad is rushing to her side. I sink back into the shadows, watching.

He leans down and puts his arms around her. "Darling, the child. All this sadness isn't good for her. You should be happy. We got our daughter back."

Mom sniffs, but I can't see her face. "I know, and I'm happy about that. I missed her so much. But now she's been forced into a relationship she doesn't want, and that boy has gone and hurt her. She has no choice but to follow him. They're bonded. I'm so worried for her."

Dad sighs, rocking her a bit. "I wish I could get rid of him, but doing so would put her life in danger. I hate the position I've been put in. I can't do anything."

They both get quiet now, and I decide to come out of hiding. I'm sure to make a lot of noise so they don't think I was listening.

Mom hurries to wipe her face and plasters a smile in her face as she sees me. "Hi honey. Are you hungry? I made-"

"No, I'm actually going to go out," I mumble, unable to look her in the eyes. I feel guilty for eavesdropping.

Dad looks me over. "I don't want you going out alone, Noa. I'll tell one of the guards to-"

"I don't really care if you dont want me to go out. I'm going. Alone."

His jaw tightens. "Why do you insist on disobeying me every time I tell you something? I raised you better than this, Noa."

I laugh in exasperation. "You didn't raise me at all! I lived here for sixteen years before you shipped me off to Earth. That's not enough time to be raised. I had to learn to fend for myself and fight my own battles from the first time I took a step on my first day of school. So don't you dare stand there and act like you care about what happens to me. You dont; not that much."

Mom has started to cry again, silently, and my conscience gives me a sharp kick. I swallow.

"Mom, I'm sorry. But this a whole lot to get used to right now. I'm going to go out, because I need to clear my head a but before I do anything that does permanent damage."

Before they can protest any further, I run to the door and outside, continuing until I get to the road in front of the castle. Then I don't know what to do.

"Follow me," Willow says, suddenly leading the way. "I know just where to go."

Z_Z_Z_Z_Z_

On my back in the tall, neon green grass, I stare up at the lavender clouds in wonder. "This planet is beautiful," I whisper.

"This used to be one of our favorite spots to go when we lived here," Willow informs me. "Whenever we were stressed or angry, of blissfully happy, we would come here and lay like this for hours, sometimes until sunset. No one else knows about it."

A light breeze blows through, rustling my hair, but Willow's hair doesn't move. I still find it amazing how she manages to be real, yet not real at the same time.

My vision blurs for a moment, and nausea churns in my stomach, and I take a few deep breaths until it goes away. This has been happening for a few days now. I don't know why... Maybe I've caught some sort of disease.

"It's a warning."

I almost jump out of my skin at the completely unexpected voice that answers the question I didn't ask aloud, leaping up and backing away several feet.

"What are you doing here?" I yell, clutching my chest. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

My breathing doesn't slow down, pain starting in my chest, and for a moment I truly believe I'm having a heart attack. But Glen walks forward smoothly, and catches me before I slump to the ground.

I moan, my eyes squeezed shut as pure energy flows through me, almost like a caffeine high, times one thousand or so.

Glen lays me on my back again in the grass while I regain my faculties, hovering over me. The black and white version of him appears, kneeling beside me. "Are you alright, Saige?" Ryne asks.

I move away when he tries to touch me, and he looks hurt. Standing, I back away from them again, my arms going around my waist.

"What are you doing here?" I ask again, looking at the ground. Glen watches me for a while, his eyes burning holes in the top of my head.

"When your body gets like that, it means you've sent too much time away from me. It's warning you."

"Did you follow me here?" I persist, ignoring him.

"Yes."

His honest answer surprises me, and I glance at him. He's still looking at me.

"Well what do you want?"

His hand runs over the scar on his neck, shrugging. "You haven't done much over the last few days, and then suddenly you were coming here. I wanted to know what you were doing."

My mind blank, I stare at him. Why would he care about what I'm doing? He's made it quite clear he doesn't care about anything I do. He wants no part of me. So why did he really follow me?

"You thought I as about to kill myself," I realize, with a mental sigh of depression. "Well I'm not. Goodbye."

He closes his eyes briefly. "I also need to... apologize. I-"

"Please"-I cover my ears, backing up further in embarrassment-"don't. There's no need to apologize for how you really feel. I'm fine, I can take care of myself."

"No, you can't. You don't get it, but you aren't strong here. Humans are weak. Namai and Namaira and Sirens-we aren't. So if you were to come in contact with an older, more experienced male, you would lose."

"Whatever. You can leave now."

He looks irritated now. "You don't believe me?" He holds his arms out at his sides. "Come on then. Attack me."

Rolling my eyes, I move to go past him. "Fine I get it. I'll leave instead."

But suddenly my arms are grabbed, and I'm shoved onto my back in the grass. My arms bend painfully underneath me, and I cry out in pain, trying to break free.

But then there's an odd, red-metal dagger at my throat, and I freeze. There's something in Glen's eyes that terrifies me. An odd mix of excitement and anger, that tells me not to make a single move.

"It could have been that quick," he sneers "You wouldn't have felt a thing." He tucks the knife into a concealed pocket on the leg of his jeans, and releases me, leaning back on his knees.

"You aren't a super hero here, Saige. There are guys here a lot less skilled than me, and 10 times bigger than you.

They could snap your neck with their thumbs. You're just a normal girl. You need to get that through your thick skull, and fast, or no amount of training will be able to help me keep you alive."

He goes quiet, waiting, I suppose, for my reply.

But my body has begun to tremble uncontrollably, and no matter how much I try to fight them back, huge drops of water leak from my eyes, running down my face.

I am so stupid. What was I thinking? Why do I have to be so hard-headed all the time?

Why did I have to end up like this?

Glen looks close to rolling his eyes, but he reaches for me, and pure panic takes over. I jump up and bolt, running as fast as I can.

"Saige, what are you doing?" he calls after me urgently. "Stop, there's a-"

I don't hear what he says, as my feet leave the ground without warning, and I'm hurtle through the air toward dry ground, hundreds of feet below me.

Finally... something good.

Z_z_z_Z_z_z_z_Z

Bubbles float up around me, and I look around, my vision foggy. I feel disoriented, and heavy. I can barely move. I try to lift an arm, and stop, realizing that I'm submerged in water. And I'm breathing it.

I throw an arm out, and gasp when it hits an unmovable wall. I flail around, always hitting a curved surface, but still when a voice calls my name. A few moments later, I resume my efforts, and this time the voice is louder.

"Saige, please calm yourself. You're in no condition to be moving around so much. Please wait a minute, and we'll get you out."

Breathing so hard bubbles are all around me, I force myself to stay still. A few machines buzz around me, but I can't see anything besides a few blurry shapes. A loud buzz goes off, and suddenly I feel the liquid going down. My feet touch warm, textured metal, and I have to brace my hands on the sides of the tank to keep myself from falling.

My whole body seems to weigh me down though and I slide down to the floor as the liquid drains.

I feel nauseous as I breath the air, and I'm all of a sudden throwing up buckets of clear liquid, all over myself.

Afterwards, I can only gasp for air, still coughing, and shivering from my lack of clothes. What is going on?

A hiss sounds, and cold air rushes in. Something soft is wrapped around me, and I'm pulled carefully to my feet by gentle hands.

My vision hasn't improved, so while I walk, slowly since I can barely lift my legs, all I see is white. Then I'm stopped and whoever is helping me takes the towel.

"Just walk forward, honey, and sit down. We're going to give you a bath to get rid of all the oil, alright?"

I want to tell the person, female I think, that I can bathe myself, but my throat won't work right.

So I'm forced to sit still while the woman washes me, getting more and more humiliated every moment. When she's finished, I breathe a sigh of relief, but then she has to dry me off.

When finished, she helps me into my underwear and a robe, and helps me drink something that tastes heavenly. I nod when she asks if I like it, and she lifts my hands, placing the plastic cup in them,and lowers my hands back to my lap as I sit.

"Keep hold of that now. Take small sips when you can, and the doctor will be with you shortly.

When she's gone, I register what she said. The doctor? I'm at a hospital then?

I can't remember anything about what happened, besides falling. How did I get here?

I hear the door open and shut, but keep my eyes on the floor, listening.

"Well now you've had yourself quite a wild week, haven't you, my lady?" A hand lifts my arms and feels around, and then checks my arms, I assume, and my legs, before lifting my chin. A bright light shines into my eyes, flashing red a couple of times, and I blink as my vision fades back into focus.

"There you go. That's better, right?"

Still blinking, I'm shocked to see Deon, Glen's older brother. He's a doctor?

"Yes, I am a doctor."

"Not you too," I croak in despair.

He chuckles. "No, I can't read your mind. I'm just a good guesser. Now"-he sits next to me in a chair-" What is the last thing you remember, Saige?"

"Falling," I say, truthfully. He nods thoughtfully, and sighs.

"Well, I thought that might happen. You did fall, about ten stories from the top of the cliff, and broke just about everything there is to break. Only Glen's focus and getting you here as fast as possible saved you. Our bodies can take quite a beating but fragments of your bones were sticking up out of your skin. We had to to extensive surgery to push them back where they belonged so we could submerge you in Talila oil properly."

At my confusion, he explains, "It's an oil that comes from the Talila plant. It has intense healing powers on Namai and Sirens both. It can undo almost any ailment. You've been in that tank for a week; longer than anyone's ever been allowed."

Confused still, I take a sip of my juice, taking a lot of energy to just raise the cup. "Why... was I allowed? Your family hates me."

He smirks, looking over my chart. "Well, I don't hate you, and I'm the doctor so what I say goes. Other than that though"-he looks up at me-"Glen was pretty much about to kill me if I didn't do something quick. He was pretty... panicked."

Glen panicked? There's no way, not over me.

Deon must understand the look on my face, because he stands. "I'll go get him. He's still freaking out. Hasn't left the hospital since he brought you. He wouldn't actually come in here but wouldn't leave either. Just wait for him."

I try to make him stay, but he's bent on getting his brother now that I'm awake. When he's gone, I get more and more tense, until my body starts to feel sore. I don't want to see Glen. Just like he doesn't want to see me.

When the door opens, I'm careful to keep my eyes on the ground, and my mind blank.

I see his feet as he stands before me, but that's all.

Do not react. Do not react. Do not react. Do not react. Do not react. Do not-

"Saige? Are you okay?"

His voice flows over me like water, and I tense even more to keep myself from touching him. Do not react. Do not react...

He kneels down so he can see my face, but I stubbornly keep my eyes lowered.

"Saige, look at me."

But I won't, and when he reaches to touch me I jerk back in fear, looking at him. He looks as if I've struck him. His face goes back to normal, and he lowers his head a bit, looking confused. And frustrated.

When he speaks again, his voice is low, pained. "Don't be scared."

Don't be scared? Isn't this what he wanted? For me to be scared of him. He wanted me to run and not look back, and I did, but now he's telling me not to be scared.

"I don't really want you to be scared. But you should be," he whispers, still not looking at me.

My body keeps telling me to get closer to him, but I don't want to yet. "How am I supposed to be scared when I don't know what you want me to be scared of?" I rasp, and cough a little. My throat is like sandpaper. Weird, when I think about the fact that I was just breathing liquid. How is my throat dry?

"If you knew, you would be. Just let it go..."

So, he wants me to forget that he wants me to be scared of him, and that he has a terrible past that I'd run from if I knew, and to NOT be scared of him. That should be easy.

The corners of his mouth twitch as he looks up at me. "Glad to know you've gotten your attitude back. You must be somewhat better."

"Somewhat."

His eyes roam over me, and I'm pulled towards him like a magnet to metal. He helps me lower myself down to the floor with him. His hands slide up my back as his arms wrap around me, and a cooling sensation spreads outwards over my from his hands, releasing all the tension in my body.

I sigh into his chest, utterly relaxed, and instantly start to drift off...

"Really, Glen? You couldn't wait until she could at least walk on her own to make a move?"

"Shut up and discharge her, or leave," Glen growls at his brother, his arms tightening around me.

Deon chuckles. "Alright so as long as she's not having any headache or extreme pain, she's free to go. I'll give you some medicine she can take at night to help her sleep, and she shouldn't try to walk for at least a few days. You can help her walk around for a while, just so her muscles don't lose their functions, but nothing vigorous. Okay?"

Fine... not like you asked me.

"She should wear some clothes, if you're taking her home, don't you think?" Deon laughs. "Do you want to do it or should I get the nurse-"

"Get the nurse," I rush, tensing. The last thing I need is him seeing me naked. I'd never be able to face him again.

"Alright... Help her to the bed, Glen, and the nurse will be here in a few minutes."

Glen nods, and lifts me as he stands, carrying me to the square hospital bed that's covered in sterile white sheets. I quickly pull the covers up to my chin, not wanting him to look at me.

He frowns, and attempts to pull the covers down, but my grip is as tight as can be.

Before he can say anything, the nurse arrives and ushers him out, returning to help me get dressed.

As she does, she laughs to herself. "You're quite lucky to have the young prince so concerned about you. I don't think I've ever seen as much expression on his face as I have while he's been here."

She helps brush my hair down to a presentable style, and I question what she means. "When he was young he didn't care about much of anything. He was such a solemn young man. Then he got worse when he..." She falters, shaking her head. "Well, you know. After that he's never been the same. Even more withdrawn and uncaring.

"But when he brought you he was frantic. I never thought I'd see it. He yelled at everyone demanding his brother be brought to see you immediately. When prince Deon said there wasn't much he could do, I was honestly frightened the young prince would kill him in that very operating room. But he came up with a plan fast, and kicked the young prince out while he and the nurses worked."

Finished with me, she says on the edge of the bed smiling softly at me. Her orange eyes sparkle merrily. "Young prince Glen paced the halls for hours, sometimes stopping when he'd hear you cry out."

This shocks me. "I was awake?"

"Not awake, but not so deeply unconscious you couldn't feel pain. Prince Deon didn't have time to give you a pain reliever, he was so focused on saving your life. And his own. It was obvious the prince felt your pain ten times worse than you did. Only when his brother came out and told him you would recover did he relax. He sat down then, with his head in his arms, and didn't move for quite a while. I like to think he was thanking everything he could."

Almost in a daze, I can only stare at her. Could Glen really care that much? Was he that worried?

"I know you'll be good for him, my lady. You'll bring him to life again. Just keep doing what you're doing."

With a small two-fingers salute, she leaves, and Glen walks back in. He looks me over but I can't even find it in me to be nervous.

"Ready to go?"

I nod, smiling to myself.

He reaches to lift me and I lean back. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you home?"

"They don't have wheelchairs here?"

"They do."

"Then why are you carrying me?"

He rolls his eyes. "Saige, you barely weigh anything. Come on."

He has to coax me a little more for me to let him carry me. But I realize I'm a lot more comfortable in his arms.

In the elevator, he shifts a lot.

"Are you alright?" I question.

"Yes." But he shifts again, and I realize he's taking very deep, even breaths.

Is he... Claustrophobic? "Hey," I call, and he looks down at me, his face tight. I smile. "It's okay. Nothing is going to happen. We're okay..."

He relaxes a little, and I out on a hand on his chest, maintaining eye contact. His eyes flash white, and then the alarm chimes, and the doors slide open. Glen pauses just outside the elevator, and sighs.

"Thanks," he mutters. I just let my head fall back into his chest, feeling drained. I can barely keep my eyes open. But I can wait till we get home.

"Go to sleep," he coaxes as we walk tmout of the hospital. The sunlight feels so good, and I smile.

"But I have to stay awake... You can't sleep on a motorcycle..." I yawn as I speak, involuntarily nuzzling deeper into his chest.

"True, but we do have cars here. See?"

Lifting my head a little I see the sleek white, slightly holographic sports car that materializes in front of us, and give a small laugh. "Oh wow. That's a nice car."

He opens the passenger door and deposits me inside, and fastens my seat belt. His hair smells delicious, and I breath in deeply as he leans over me, unable to help myself. When he pulls back, he gives me an odd look, but quickly shuts my door and walks to the passenger side.

As he starts the car, I watch him. He's so... solid. So sure of himself. What could he possibly be so scared to tell me?

He glances at me, and I don't look away. "Enough staring. Sleep now," he says. I get the feeling he's nervous.

We start to drive and I lay my head back and close my eyes, savoring the slow and steady vibration of the car, and slowly drift...