Letting Go

A knock at the door makes me jump, and I run over to it. "Who is it?"

"It's... Mrs. Mykel. Glen's mother."

My shoulders droop in disappointment. I was hoping it was Glen, believe it or not. Then I tense again in fear.

"Glen told me not to open the door... unless it was he or Guy," I call through the sturdy wood.

There's only a slight pause before she answers. "I suppose that's what he felt was best for you. I agree with him. I am so sorry about the men..."

"It's alright. No permanent damage."

"Thank goodness..." I hear her sigh. "Well, I brought you something to eat. I'll leave it by the door, okay?"

Touched, I can't help but smile. "Thank you so much. I'll try to be out of your way as soon as possible."

"Honey, I have no problem with you. Siren or not, your my boy's mate. I haven't seen him this worked up in a long time, especially over a girl. You must be special. The family will come around."

Special... that's what Deon said too. If only they knew how he really feels.

"Well i'll leave you be. Feel free to call if you need anything." I hear her footsteps walk away, and open the door a crack. A sliver tray sits on the floor, covered in delicious-looking food. I grab it quickly and shut the door back behind me.

Setting the tray on the windowseat, I stare down at it on confusion. At first glance it looks delicious, but close up I have no idea what it is. There's something that looks like meat, but it's blue. Then there's a bowl of multicolored stuff that resemble fruit, and smell good, yet unrecognizable. Can I eat any of this?

Why isn't Glen back yet... he could tell me. Sighing, I ignore my stomach as it growls. I'll have to wait for him to get back...

"It's alright. Our system will adjust to the food again fairly quickly. It will remember how it's supposed to eat."

Hearing he female voice again just makes me angry. Who are you and why are you in my head? Leave me alone!

"Saige, please relax. I am not here to hurt you-I am you! My name is Willow."

Willow? What...

Just as I'm about to freak completely, there's another knock at the door. Unsteady, I walk to it. "W-who is it?"

"Open up."

Relief flows through every pore of my body, and I throw the door open. Glen's eyes show how startled he is, but his face remains calm as he walks in an shuts the door behind him. "What's wrong-"

"Nothing. I'm just... glad you're not hurt, I guess," I say quickly. And that's true... for the most part. Besides that, I think I'm going crazy. Who in the world hears voices in their heads besides crazy people?

"You're hearing voices?" Glen half questions, half states dubiously.

"How are you hearing my thoughts?" I groan, covering my face with my arms.

"It comes with the bond. What voices?"

"Just one voice. She claims to be me, and her name is Willow," I explain, feeling incredibly stupid. "I know it's crazy but-"

"It's not," he says. Surprised, I look up at him to see him frowning. Hesitantly, he reaches out with two fingers and touches my temples. His face goes still, and his eyebrows draw together in concentration. Self conscious, I clear my throat and start to say something, when he sighs.

"All right. Go ahead."

I frown. "Wha-" I'm cut off when my vision flickers black and a wave of dizziness takes over. I sink to my knees, fighting the nausea that comes up.

My body feels like it's being pulled in every direction, and my mind turns to mush. A wave of energy rolls through me, and then it all vanishes, and I'm back to normal.

"What was that?" I ask shakily, getting to my feet. Then I look up, and freeze. A long black shadow is in front of me, semi-blocking my view of Glen. But I can see straight through it.

I take a step back, and suddenly the shadow moves. As I watch in horror, the shape condenses, arms and legs forming, and a curvy waist, and hair. The shadow person turns to face me, and I can't help it. I scream, and run of the door. Glen. Catches me around the waist, but I'm beyond reason, and still screaming, trying to get to the door.

A hand rests on the side of my neck, and I go limp, unable to take another step. He releases me, and steps away.

The shadow is directly in my sight now, and I look her over in disbelief. She's an exact copy of me, in black and white. Her skin is a medium gray, her hair black, her eyes a very bright white, with no pupil. She looks excited and hesitant at the same time.

I'm forced to stand still as she walks towards me, looking more like she's gliding over the floor. She stops in front of me, and smiles. "Hi."

"Hi?"

"It's me. Willow."

When I don't respond, she looks at Glen. He runs a finger over a lock of her hair, and a trail of silver glitter appears behind it, fading in a few seconds. "Hello," he greets her calmly.

She grins, and leaps at him, throwing her arms around his neck. He stumbles back a step, his arms open at his sides.

"It's you!" She squeals. "I can't believe you let me come out! Thank you, thank you, thank you-

He pulls her off of him, setting her back on her feet. "Right. Fine." He looks uncomfortable.

He glances at me. "This is your divide."

"Divide?"

"I don't have time to explain right now." His eyes flash, and a black and white copy of him steps straight from his body. "This is Ryne."

The copy of him steps forward to take my hand. It takes everything in me not to jerk away. He bends down to kiss the back, his eyes glimmering. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. You're even more beautiful now that I see you with my own eyes."

I can only blinks at him. He looks exactly like Glen, but he's nothing like him. He's actually happy. He seems to understand my silence. "Glen is... difficult. He'll come around, with you to help him." With a final smile, he disappears, and when I look over, Willow is gone as well.

All these surprises are going to kill me...

"I'm sorry."

I look up as Glen walks over. "I know this is a lot to take in. Things should get clearer soon, even if you're still overwhelmed." He seems uncomfortable, unused to comforting anyone. He probably hasn't ever had to before.

It gets a bit awkward in the silence that follows, before he turns suddenly. "Where did you get that?"

Following his gaze, I find myself looking at the tray of food his mother brought me. "Oh. Your mom left that by the door for me. She apologized about the men."

He seems to soften for a moment. "You didn't eat any of it," he says, looking back at me.

Embarrassed, I nod. "I don't know what any of it is."

A small smile appears on his face, disappearing as quickly as it forms. He walks over and sits on the floor, pulling the tray into his lap. As he does so, his hair falls around his face, some of the strands in front of his eyes. The sun flashes off of the jet black in a perfect way, and my breath catches slightly in my chest. He's...very attractive.

I noticed that the first time I met him, but it was different before. Then I thought he was much too young for me and out of my league. But now I know he's not only older than me, but somehow, by some strange string of events, he's more or less my husband.

But he's still way out of my league. I mean, comparing me to him is like comparing an old baseball bat covered in rust, to a brand-spanking-new one, shiny and unspoiled. There's not one unperfect mark on his body, except for the scar on his neck. And even that works on him. Gives him a more dangerous edge. And what do I have? A plain face, boring hair, and I look like an elf.

Again, no wonder he doesn't want anything to do with me.

He frowns at me. "Where did all that come from?"

I fold into myself, crossing my arms and wishing myself dead for the third time in my life. I don't want to have to deal with all this...

What's the easiest way to kill yourself?

"Woah, hold on." Glen jumps up and comes towards me, but I back up. "You don't want to die, Saige."

"Stay out of my head. And yes, I do. You'd be a lot happier if I was dead. I'm not going to force myself on you, and I'm just sick of people. I'm sick of being at the bottom of the food chain, I'm sick of always being in the background, I'm sick of people hating me for no reason. Your father will jump for joy when he finds out I killed myself."

"No he won't, because he's not going to find that out. You're not killing yourself, and I don't want to hear another word about it."

Furious, I glare at him. "You don't own me! I can do whatever I want, and you can't stop me. You may have to care about me now against your will, but it won't be that way for much longer."

I turn to walk away, only to have my arm grabbed and twisted behind my back. "You. Aren't. Going. anywhere," he growls.

Quicker than I've ever moved before, I turn and slam my palms into his chest will all the force I posses. A flash of light explodes from my hands, and he flies back into the wall... and goes straight through. The whole area he hits breaks, leaving a huge hole.

I don't wait to see if he's okay; something in my head tells me he is. Instead, I run through the hole, and past the pile of brick, continuing through the yard and into the trees beside the house, running faster than I ever have before. The forest literally blurs around me, and I can't tell when one tree ends and another begins. Terrified of possible pursuit behind me, I don't stop until I've cleared the forest, and end up in an empty field.

Then I fall to my knees, panting. I must have just run over five miles, in under five minutes. That's never happened-I've never been fast. What am I supposed to do with all these changes to my body?

I feel dizzy for a second, before a shadowy figure appears before me. Willow.

She looks sad, kneeling there in the same position as me. "You didn't have to run," She says softly. "He was trying to protect you from yourself."

"Protect me? I'm two hundred and thirty years old. I don't need to be protected. I've protected myself just fine my entire life."

"Saige, on this planet, you're just a teenager," She snaps at me. "You do need to be protected here. Not on earth, but here, where there are people much older and stronger than you who can do who knows what. You need to quit being so independent and get a reality check. You are not invincible! we aren't. You're putting us both on the line right now."

The deepest feeling of shame washes I've me as what she says sinks in. I've grown to be so headstrong, taking care of myself. It offends me for someone else to say I can't take care of myself.

"I... I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

Looking back, I get nervous, realizing just how far I've gone. How am I going to get back?

"You won't. I'm not familiar with his area," Willow huffs, standing. "But I know where we can go. Follow me."

Appropriately chastened, I follow after her slowly, head lowered. She leads me through the fields and forests, walking for hours until I can see bright lights and carriages in the distance.

"The townspeople wouldn't react well to seeing me, I'm afraid," She says. "So i'll see you later. Just walk towards the lights."

"Willow?"

"Yes?"

"Exactly at are you? My... I don't know, conscience?"

She looks at me for a few seconds as if thinking of an appropriate answer. Then she smiles softly. "I'm the part of you that was never fully etched into your mind at birth. Your other personality, that allows you to be happy. Normal people have both parts in one but"-she shrugs, looking almost proud-"you should realize how abnormal you are by now. Without me, you'd be absolutely miserable. Never able to be happy, and constantly brooding. I have seen it happen. I am called a divide. A separate division of your personalities. "

Now she steps close and puts a hand on either side of my face. Her face practically glows. "You are very lucky, Saige. We are. We will do great things together, once you know who you truly are. Once you embrace it."

I start to question her, but she fades away, leaving a faint outline of her in glitter. "Willow?"

"I am still with you. But I cannot answer any more questions at the moment. Go to town. It's amazing, you'll see."

I start to walk, but my mind sticks on her last statement. "Wait. If you're me, then how do you know what the town looks like? I've never been here. How do you know your way around?"

"You can speak in your mind. I will still here you. But, you have been here. You spent the first fifteen years of your life here. I can remember, though you can't."

Why did I leave? How do I not-

"Shhh... enough questions. All will be revealed as you're ready."

All other attempts to ask questions is thwarted by her. Frustrated, but with a new sense of anticipation, I make my way to town.

Finally, I'm only a few feet from the cobbled pathway. The stones its made of are white and gold here, making the ground look as if it's glittering. The buildings, presumably stores, are all different colors, and the fronts are made of cleat glass, allowing anyone access to the insides.

People walk around with baskets and bags, and they all watch me curiously. Well, all might be an exaggeration, but quite a few are. I do my best to smile and wave, even though my stomach has started to churn nervously.

An older woman cocks her head at me, and leans down to her child, whispering something to her, and points in my direction. The little girl looks my way, and walks over to me.

Her eyes are deep blue, her hair a vibrant pink, and her skin a glowing light brown, looking as if light shines from behind it. I bend down to her level, smiling.

"Hi, what's your name?"

She looks back to her mother, and then to me. "Jasper."

"That's a beautiful. My name is Saige. It's nice to meet you, Jasper." I hold out a hand for her to shake, and she smiles, taking it. As if I've passed some kind of test, her mother now approaches.

"Hello. My name is Olma."

" I'm Saige. Nice to meet you, your little girl is gorgeous."

Her smile wavers slightly. "Saige? Is that a new nickname, my lady?"

I frown. "I'm sorry?"

"Well, I'm sure it's another of your jokes, princess. Never mind me, I'll catch on." She gives an odd salute, with two fingers to her temples, takes her daughter's hand, and walks away.

Did she just call me princess? And my lady? Is that just something they do here or-

"Don't let it bother you," Willow says.

Continuing through the court, I gaze around in winder. Even though I've never been here(despite what Willow tells me), I can't help but feel connected to this place. A sense of peace surrounds me, underneath the nervousness.

But now there's one problem: I don't know where to go. Any words of wisdom, Willow?

She doesn't answer, and I sigh. At a loss, I turn in a slow circle, trying to follow my instincts. A delicious scent fills my nose, and my stomach contracts in pain. How long it's been since I last ate... I can't even remember. So I follow my nose.

I wind up in a small cafe, walking through the tables of multicolored people and clothing. Every person seems to be wearing a specific color, all of it coordinated.

The scent in the shop smells like nothing I've ever smelled before, but the best way to describe it would be apple pie mixed with cheesecake and berries. But better.

At the counter, I pause, looking through the glass at the various delectable confections. How am I going to pay for them? I really need something to eat...

"Ah, Princess! You've come back to visit like you promised? Will you have what you had last time? You said you liked it very much."

I swallow nervously, about to tell him he's wrong, when I feel another pang in my stomach. "Yes please," I says, smiling. The man behind the counter beams at me, reaching under to cut a generous piece of a dessert.

I'm sure my conscience will catch up with me later, but right now I'm just too hungry to not take advantage of this.

The man hands me the plate with a small silver fork. "There's you go. Please enjoy, my lady."

"How much do I owe you?" I ask, like I have money.

The man frowns as if insulted. "Nothing, of course. It is the least I can do for you, after you saved my business. You get all the things you want."

This might work to my advantage...

"Thank you very much."

"Will you allow me a picture after you're finished? I would love to hang it on my wall here."

That might be taking things too far...

"Oh I'm sorry... I'm not dressed for a picture, as you can see. Maybe another time?"

"Of course of course, I know how that must feel. Next time then. I still have a picture of you from last time."

"Ask him about it," Willow coaxes. "And ask him to call you a carriage to take you home."

Perplexed, I clear my throat, and smiles shyly at the man. "Would you mind showing me the picture? I'd like to see it again."

He nods and practically rushes from the counter to grab something. When he gets back, he shakes it once, and a large holographic screen shoots up from his hand. On the screen, I see... me. Or, a girl that looks like me. A lot like me. She stands behind the counter with the man I'm talking to now, grinning at the camera. There's something wrong about her smile though, as if she's not truly happy. She seems like she's lost something, and doesn't know how to get it back.

Looking away from the pictures, I smile at the man again. "Thank you for showing me. Um, do you think you could call a carriage to take me home? I've forgotten my..."

"E-Mar, " Willow whispers.

"My E-Mar. I'm sorry to put you out..."

"Not at all, not at all, my lady. I'll do it right away. Make yourself comfortable."

At a table, I eat quietly. Willow, you have some explaining to do.

She giggles. "You'll get some explanations from other people. I can't wait to get there."

Get to some-girl-who-looks-like-me's home? When will things stop being so complicated?