Ashtray
0005
Sidney observes his brother with a hint of distaste.
He's sprawled out on the sofa, jumper up and small belly poking out. It makes Sidney want to cringe, that stomach. That prominent stomach. A chill flashes down his spine and it feels more like pain than anything else.
Thomas, that's his name. Thomas, fatty, alcoholic, idiot. It's shameful to be related to such lard, such a disgusting being. Not unlike Sidney, and his dad was the same - fat and addicted. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and Sidney's glad he was thrown like a maggot infested apple.
"Sid?" Sid, Sid, Sid. What a stupid fucking name. "Where were you?"
Where is he ever? Where is he never?
Gone, gone, gone.
"Out." He says, instead, and turns from Thomas, hand reaching to his concave stomach as if he carried child.
"You're always out. I hear things." Sidney stills, hand falling to catch on his hip bone. Well, well, look whose been sober for more than five minutes.
"You're always drunk. You're getting a beer belly, Thomas. It's primary school all over again. What did they call you, again? Whale, was it? Weigh-a-ton-Tom?"
Sidney can't see him, but he can imagine the way his brother's jaw would clench and his eyes would ache. He smiles to himself smugly and carries on forwards towards the doorway. His inner demon claws at his brain cells, ripping them down. Ruin your family, kill yourself. It's sweet, and familiar. He supposes it could be comforting.
"You're not you anymore, Sid. You're ill, mum said-"
"Don't fucking talk about mum to me."
He's out the door and down the street as quickly as his legs can carry him. He used to be a sprinter when walking wasn't so tiring and running didn't make him dizzy. His demon is at his lungs now, claws sharp and mouth wide, robbing oxygen from his starved lungs.
Oxygen thief, thinks Sidney, and then;finish me now?
He catches his breath back.
He's sprawled out on the sofa, jumper up and small belly poking out. It makes Sidney want to cringe, that stomach. That prominent stomach. A chill flashes down his spine and it feels more like pain than anything else.
Thomas, that's his name. Thomas, fatty, alcoholic, idiot. It's shameful to be related to such lard, such a disgusting being. Not unlike Sidney, and his dad was the same - fat and addicted. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and Sidney's glad he was thrown like a maggot infested apple.
"Sid?" Sid, Sid, Sid. What a stupid fucking name. "Where were you?"
Where is he ever? Where is he never?
Gone, gone, gone.
"Out." He says, instead, and turns from Thomas, hand reaching to his concave stomach as if he carried child.
"You're always out. I hear things." Sidney stills, hand falling to catch on his hip bone. Well, well, look whose been sober for more than five minutes.
"You're always drunk. You're getting a beer belly, Thomas. It's primary school all over again. What did they call you, again? Whale, was it? Weigh-a-ton-Tom?"
Sidney can't see him, but he can imagine the way his brother's jaw would clench and his eyes would ache. He smiles to himself smugly and carries on forwards towards the doorway. His inner demon claws at his brain cells, ripping them down. Ruin your family, kill yourself. It's sweet, and familiar. He supposes it could be comforting.
"You're not you anymore, Sid. You're ill, mum said-"
"Don't fucking talk about mum to me."
He's out the door and down the street as quickly as his legs can carry him. He used to be a sprinter when walking wasn't so tiring and running didn't make him dizzy. His demon is at his lungs now, claws sharp and mouth wide, robbing oxygen from his starved lungs.
Oxygen thief, thinks Sidney, and then;finish me now?
He catches his breath back.
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry it took so long, ran into some trouble.This hasn't gone through the normal editing Aris and I both take part in, so it may be changed when she's next online and good to edit.