Jesus of Suburbia

Heaven smiled at me again, her lips curling upwards making my insides feel like they’ve left my numb body. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how to react—how was I supposed to react?

“C’mon Jimmy, let’s ditch the group,” her hand reached out for mine, but I just looked at it. Unsure of what actions I should take.

“Why? There’s nothing open except for the 7-11 on Telegraph Avenue.” I replied, still looking at her outstretched hand.

She laughed, grabbing my hand and intertwining her fingers with mine. “The cops are bound to show up anytime now, the group’s been at it all night. Besides, they’re high outta their minds on fucking Ritalin.”

I looked at the group again, some of them were laughing while others started to shove each other into the cement columns. It felt as if I was watching my life be played out right in front of me; the rage and love was visible even to a pedestrian. Heaven squeezed my hand and I turned to face her again, she smiled again before kissing me. I just looked at her, unsure of what to feel.

“C’mon, let’s go.” She exclaimed, pulling me along as we made our way back out towards the street. I pulled my hand away as we neared the street and looked at her, she was beautiful but she just looked like a good fuck and nothing more.

“The 7-11 would be crowded with cops getting cheap coffee, are you still planning on going there?” My voice rose, it sounded harsh against the early morning. She just smiled again before gracefully coming towards me, her eyes fixed up on the pale blue morning sky.

“Who said anything about going to the 7-11? Maybe I just wanted some alone time with you,” she whispered, her eyes now focusing on me. I smirked, before pulling her towards my beat up car.

“Then let’s go.” She kissed me again, her hand intertwined with my fingers again.



I leaned up against the car, a cigarette in between my lips as I cupped my hand at the end of it, igniting it. The taste of the smoke filled my mouth as I inhaled; my eyes fixed on the house Heaven had made her way into. I ran a hand through my short hair, the feeling of being impatient sinking in; I pulled out the cigarette, exhaling the smoke that took vacancy in my lungs a moment ago. Where is she?

I pushed myself off the car, placing the cigarette between my lips again. As I walked towards the house, Heaven ran outside again, a smirk on her lips. “Ready?”

I just looked at her, my lips curling into a smirk around the cigarette. She smiled again, taking the cigarette away from me before pulling me into the house. I kicked the door as soon as I passed the threshold, the door slammed shut. She looked at me and smiled before turning to face me, placing the cigarette on the coffee table behind her.

My hands cupped her face, pulling her into a kiss that she didn’t protest against. Heaven’s lips were hungry against mine; her body inched closer to mine as the kiss progressed. I felt my pulse pick up as I felt her hands make their way to my sweatshirt, pulling the zipper down. I walked her backwards until she stumbled onto the couch, my hands exploring her bare skin beneath her shirt.

“I want you so bad, Jimmy. Fuck me, please fuck me,” she whispered breathlessly in my ear as I kissed her neck and jaw.

“How badly do you want me?” I asked, removing her shirt and tossing it carelessly. I didn’t wait for her response as I undid her belt and pants, slipping them down her thighs.

“Badly.” She replied, kissing me again. I slipped my sweatshirt and shirt off before undoing my own pants.

I got to my boxers, tossing my pants carelessly before laying on top of her, Heaven’s legs wrapped around my waist, pulling me close to her body. She bit her lip as our hips started grinding against each others, soft moans muffled by our breaths.

Heaven’s hips moved in sync with mine as I inserted her, my hands clasped her sides before I began thrusting into her. Her back arched as the rhythm picked up, her moans escaped her lips as she bucked her hips into mine. I sat her up, her lips instantly attached to mine, ever so often biting my bottom lip. I smirked as the rhythm got faster; her head tilted back exposing her throat as she neared her orgasm.

“Oh fuck.” She breathed, I grunted in reply feeling a warm sensation start to build in my lower abdomen as I neared my orgasm. Heaven dug her fingers into my shoulders, her body shaking as she reached her orgasm; my seed spilling into her as I let out a shaky breath.

“You’re so much better than I expected.” She smiled, getting off me reaching for the cigarette.

I just sat next to her, a smile played on my lips. “You weren’t that bad either.” She laughed, sitting next to me, her legs curled underneath her.

I looked at her, eyeing her pulse in her neck. Her heart was beating rapidly beneath her flushed skin. But my own was steady, a pattern all its own. Whoever said that everyone’s heart beats the same lied, we’re all beating out of time.

I shut my eyes, feeling as if I reached the end of another lost highway with all the signs misleading to nowhere. I felt like my life just spiraled deeper into the center of the earth, yet somehow I could care less. In the back of my mind, I could feel the nagging voice inch its way forward as if it seemed to confess but it didn’t say much.

I sighed, exhaustion sinking in. It felt like I just sunk deeper into my hole, the possibility of escaping disappearing. I was living in the city of the dead and damned and for once I didn’t care.