Jesus of Suburbia

I place a cigarette between my dry lips as I headed down the sidewalk, the bass of the music from the party shattering the night silence. I lit up the end of the cigarette, inhaling deeply as the end gave a faint orange glow; the smoke took over my mouth and traveled down my lungs as I stared up at the night sky, the stars barely visible. I exhaled and rubbed the back of my neck as I continued to walk down the street.

The feeling of uneasiness twisting and turning in my gut as I thought about enlisting, did I really wanna enlist or was it just another lame excuse to get the fuck out? I ran my hands through my hair as I continued to walk down the familiar street, the music fading behind me. I took another long drag on my cigarette, exhaling the smoke out before flicking it into the street.

“Hey, Jimmy where are you headed?” Someone slurred behind me, I stopped walking and turned around to face her. Heaven walked towards me, tripping occasionally over her own feet before collapsing into me.

I pushed her back onto her feet, grabbing a hold of her shoulders. “What do you want Heaven?” I asked, she just gave me an intoxicated smile before placing her hands on either side of my face.

“I love you, Jimmy. You’re my Jesus and always will be,”

“Heaven, you’re fucking drunk. Go back to the party before you wind up on your ass passed out drunk,”

“No, I won’t go without you at the goddamn party. You’re mine, remember?” She slurred, giggling. I rolled my eyes and let go of her shoulders before I continued walking.

“Go fucking party you drunken whore, leave me the fuck alone.” I replied, not bothering to look behind me. I heard Heaven scream at me before stating she was going back. I smirked at her drunken stupidity but it didn’t make the uneasiness go away.

By the time I entered my house, my mother was passed out cold on the sofa again, a beer clutched in her hand. I just sighed and walked to my room, stripping down before getting into bed. I shut my eyes, but all I could see was myself being blown up and my heart turned cold at the though. I turned onto my side and stared at the wall, the need for sleep heavy on my lids.



I jolted awake as I heard a loud smashing; the sun peeked through my window hitting my face as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. The loud smash was heard again and I got up, slipping on my pants before heading out of the room. I heard my mother curse loudly before a loud smash was heard again.

“Virginia, what the fuck are you doing?” I asked seeing the mess of shattered glass on the floor.

“Where’s my stash? I need my stash!” She exclaimed turning towards me, I just shook my head and headed over to the sofa. “I’m not kidding James, where is it?”

“Does it bloody look like I fucking know where it is?” I replied, throwing my head back as I shut my eyes again. I could feel her glare at me before walking towards me.

“Go get me more,” she replied simply as she took out a cigarette before plopping herself in the recliner. I straightened up, my eyes on her without any emotion showing on my face. “I’m not kidding, James. Go get me more,”

“Go get it yourself, you pathetic hag,” I replied throwing her cigarettes at her. She just glared at me again, her lips forming a tight hard line around her cigarette. I got up and headed towards my room again, grabbing a duffle bag from the closet.

I grabbed as much of my clothes as I could fit, before I pulled on a clean shirt and sweatshirt. I went over to the dresser and pulled out my stash then grabbed my keys. My mother stood in the threshold of the door, arms crossed across her chest with the cigarette between her fingers. I walked past her, shoving my left over stash into her.

“Hope you overdose,” I replied simply as I walked out of the front door to my car. I heard my mother call my name, but I didn’t turn around. I threw my shit into the backseat before getting in myself; my mother was at the front of the car slamming her hand down onto the hood begging for my attention.

I got out of the car and headed towards her; she ran up to me and hugged me. Begging me to stay, but I only pushed her away before getting into the car again. I could hear her cry my name out, but I honestly didn’t give a damn. Seeing her scream my name out while the tears fell from her eyes made me smile—I’m not a sadistic bastard… maybe I am, but I’m in denial. I pull out of the drive way and speed off down the street, aware that I’m going 50 mph in a 35 mph speed zone.

As I pull up in front of Tunny’s house, I can’t help but keep smiling at my mother’s reaction earlier. Fuck, I am a sadistic bastard. I honk the car’s horn and shortly Tunny appears, a cigarette clasped between his lips while a bag hung from his shoulder.

“What made you come this motherfucking early?” He asked removing the cigarette from his lips and exhaling the smoke as he spoke.

“Virginia flipped her shit again; I’m just fucking tired of dealing with her shit. So, I left,”

“Oh, makes sense. At first I thought it was because you missed me,” Tunny smirked; I glared at him as he threw his bag into the backseat and slipped inside.

“Fuck you, you ain’t that bloody important,” I replied, putting the car into gear. Tunny only laughed then took another drag of his cigarette. “Let’s just get the fuck out of here; this place is suffocating me to no end,”

“Amen to that,” Tunny replied flicking the cigarette butt out the window as I sped down the cracked street.