The Beginning of the End

Effie slid a dark blue, slouchy beanie on the crown of her head and looked at herself in the mirror. She hoped that the nerves weren't written all over her face but that wasn't exactly something she could help. She pulled on a hoodie and then walked to her bed. A piece of parchment was already on her bedside table. So, she picked up a pen and began writing.

Harry,
meet me on the bridge.

Effie

She sat down her pen and left the dormitory. She made her way to the boy's dormitory and slid the note under the door. She took a deep breath and walked into the common room and out of the portrait hole.

Effie was ready to turn around and run back inside and cower in a corner but she resisted. She knew that she had to tell Harry about her feelings. She wasn't sure what she was going to say. She tried rehearsing it but figured it'd be better to just wing it. She passed so many students on the way downstairs. All of them looked happy, couples were holding hands, kissing, playing around, and Effie wished that she could have that, with Harry, so bad.

The late September air was turning bitter. Effie shivered slightly and made her way up to the bridge. Her hands were in tight fists, stuffed inside her jacket pockets. Her nerves were definitely getting the better of her at this point.

When she got on the bridge, she stopped shivering. The cover blocked post of the wind so she could be more comfortable. She looked out over the railing and smiled at how beautiful everything was. There was no other school she would ever want to go to and it made her sad to think that she only had one more year.

After about 20 minutes or so, Effie heard footsteps coming towards her. She looked up and her light brown eyes locked with Harry's. The air left her lungs, her nerves went into overdrive and she felt as though she might pass out. But, she managed to stay conscious. She just hoped she could stay that way after this whole thing was over.

Harry walked over to her, worry flashing over his face. He wouldn't admit it to her but, he thought Effie looked especially beautiful that day. She wasn't wearing any makeup and wasn't dressed up, he liked how she looked at that moment.

"Is everything okay?" He asked trying to read her expression. Her eyebrows were drawn together and her plump lips were in a tight line.

"No, actually. Everything's not okay." Her voice was shaky. She licked over her lips and fiddled with the ring on her finger. Harry's eyebrows furrowed together and for a split second he wondered if they would actually fuse together at some point.

"Come on, talk to me...please?" He whispered, brushing a strand of her hair back behind her ear. Effie took a deep breath.

"It's not easy for me to say this but uh, I love you Harry. I have been since third year maybe. I dunno exactly. I've done so well at pushing it away, I've done so well at hiding it until now. I think seeing you with Ginny made it worse. Yeah, I know about Ginny. Everyone does. I see the way you look at her and that ugly green monster rears its head. I'm not asking you to love me back, that would be great but, I can't make that happen. I just thought that you should know. Hell, you don't even have to say anything." Her voice was quiet, terrified of what he might say or do.

Harry didn't say anything though. Instead he found himself shoving her back against the pillar by her hips, and crashing his lips onto hers.

It took Effie a moment to respond but, when she did, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Their lips moved in sync, their tongues danced together to a rhythm that no one could hear. They stayed like that, kissing, for a while before Harry pulled away. His face was expressionless, matching Effie's. Their breathing was rapid.

"Wow, I felt...nothing. Did you feel something?" Harry said. Effie's breath caught but she brushed it off, shaking her head.

"No...I didn't feel anything." She mumbled, her eyes still locked on Harry, her face still emotionless.

"Well, thanks for telling me." He said softly before walking off. Effie felt her eyes watering and tried to fight back the tears but they came too fast for her. She slid down the pillar and hugged her knees to her chest. She had opened herself up, she made herself vulnerable, hoping that she wouldn't get hurt and that's exactly what happened. She got hurt. Bad.

Harry's heart was heavy as he made his way back to the castle. He could have had her but he blew it. Why did he tell her he felt nothing? Because he wasn't sure who he wanted to be with. He realized that he probably just hurt her but he couldn't think of anything else to do. Sure he could have talked to her but since when was he decent with words?

***

After a while, a cried out and numb Effie, stood up and began walking back to the castle. She was going to go to bed as soon as she got back. She wanted to block out as much of this as she possibly could. She was starting to regret telling him. Her lips were still on fire from where he kissed her. How could he have kissed her like that and felt nothing?

Everything was like a blur. She felt like she was walking in slow motion as she walked up the stairs. When she got to the Fat Lady, she said the password and the portrait swung open. She walked through and saw that the common room was full of students. She pushed through them until she got to the stairs to the girls' dormitory.

"Hey, Effie, do you want to join us?" Ginny asked, grabbing Effie's wrist. Effie looked back at her and shook her head.

"Uh, no, I'm gonna go to bed. I need a nap." Her voice was thick and heavy, she barely recognized it. Ginny frowned but let her go.

Effie walked to her bed, kicked her shoes off and crawled under the blanket. She felt like such an idiot for opening herself up like that. This was one of those times when ignorance is bliss. Thinking back on it now, she wished that she had just suffered in silence because that felt a whole hell of a lot better than this.