He Never Told Me What He Did for a Living

A masculine groan jolted me awake, and I opened my eyes, too late to anticipate Gerard’s stretch, which sent us tumbling off the couch. We landed in a tangle of limbs, with him stretched out half on top of me, his hazel eyes looking as confused as I felt. I was suddenly aware of my morning breath and Gerard’s morning wood. A blush warmed my face, and I tried to untangle my legs from his. “Ah, sorry,” he said, moving his leg so that mine was no longer hooked around his. As he moved, his groin ground against my hip momentarily, sending tingles down my spine and kicking my blush into high gear. “Sorry,” he apologized again.

“Are you two gonna get up or are you just gonna lie there bumping uglies?” Frank said, yanking me out of my stupor.

“Shut up, Frank,” we said in unison, and then glanced at each other quickly. My blush deepened as his eyes raked over my face, and down to the white t-shirt, so thin that my black bra shown through it like a beacon. A tremble worked through my body as his warm breath fanned over my neck, tightening things low in my body. Involuntarily, I sighed.

Groaning, Gerard rolled away from me and stood, unashamedly flaunting his erection. I did my best not to blatantly stare at the impressive shape lying just under his jeans. This is so not happening to me, I thought, squeezing my eyes shut against the fantasies of Gerard dancing through my head, all of them involving our naked bodies entwined together in ecstasy.

Embarrassed, I mumbled something about needing to get back home. Doing my best to not look at anyone in the face, I beat a hasty retreat into the bathroom, where I slumped against the wall. I buried my face in my hands, trying desperately to understand why I felt such a strong connection to the man. Man, not a boy my age, not a boy two years older…but a nearly thirty year old man. I came up empty, and tears threatened to fall as I continued to berate myself for my stupidity.

A soft knock on the door jerked me out of my thoughts, and wiping quickly at my eyes, I glanced in the mirror. My reflection revealed the same old blue eyes, although the shadows beneath them made me look tired. My dark hair had air-dried, and now it hung about my face in disheveled waves. Sighing, I decided there was nothing to be done about it now, and I cracked the door open an inch.
I recognized the short white-blonde hair, and swung the door open. A cowlick at the front of his hairline made my heart jump, and I squelched the feeling quickly. “Everyone’s gone,” he said softly, his eyes not quite meeting mine.

“Thanks. I’ll be out in a minute…” I said, not sure what else to say.

“Josie, I…about last night…Eliza, she’s nothing to me…well, I mean, she’s my hairdresser, but that’s it, I swear,” he said, finally looking at me.

I raised an eyebrow. “It doesn’t matter,” I said, wondering what more he wanted me to say.

“It does…I mean, I don’t know what’s going on with us but…” he trailed off, and I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to finish. “Shit, Josie, I don’t know. I want you, so fucking much…you’re cool, you’re sweet…hell, you didn't even know who I was when we met, and I like that. I know you’re not just some groupie or something.”

My heart pounded at his words. He’d admitted it. He’d finally admitted, to my face, that he wanted me, possibly as much as I longed for him.

“Gerard, I-“

Gerard held up a hand, cutting me off in mid-sentence. “Josie, I know that you’re eighteen, perfectly legal…”

My heart dropped. “But?” I whispered.

“…but everyone is not going to see it that way. Tabloids…the press…the fans,” he said, no longer looking at me, but staring at the floor.

“So that’s it then? We let third parties decide our fate?” I asked, and I couldn't stop the anger from showing on my face.

“Josie, just hear me out-“

“No! If that’s your excuse, then fine! I’ll go, but don’t expect me to stick around and play this game with you!” I said, stifling my pain and letting him see my anger instead.

“Josie, just…listen, please!”

The distress in his voice gave me pause. “Josie, I want you to wait for me. Wait for me…graduate this year, pick a college, do whatever you want!”

I met his eyes warily. “How long? How old do I have to be for you to openly be with me?”

When he paused, I knew I wasn't going to like his answer. He was taking too long. “Twenty-one,” he said.

“Three years! We’ll have both moved on by then,” I said sadly. “We’ll be different people, we’ll want different things.”

“You don’t know that!” he argued. “I just…I can’t right now, Josie!”

Meeting him head on again, I reached out to smooth his hair. “Then I’ll wait. I’ll wait until you come to me. But I…I can’t play this game, Gerard. I can’t be your friend and know that I’ll never be more than that.”

I wished he’d leave, so he wouldn't have to see the tears fall when I couldn't hold them back any longer. Instead, he continued to stand there, and I didn't know what else to expect from him.

I certainly wasn't expecting him to close the distance between us and cup my face. The tears finally fell, even as he pressed his lips to mine, his hands moving up to wipe them away. His lips moved against mine softly, betraying so many different emotions. The kiss became more feverish, more demanding, and his hands left my face to slide around my waist and crush me against his body. My fingers twined in his short hair as I tried to get closer to him. Breathless, I gasped as his lips left mine to travel down my chin and down my neck, tracing the loose neckline on the t-shirt I wore. A shiver raced through my body when his fingers edged just underneath the sweatpants, then pushed upwards, slipping underneath my shirt and skimming along my bare skin. I felt teeth nipping at my skin, and I let out an involuntary moan. Gerard didn't stop, and I certainly didn't want him to.

He pulled away briefly and tugged at my shirt, both demanding it off and asking if I would allow it. “Please,” I said breathlessly. No more time was wasted, and the shirt disappeared, fluttering to the floor. For a moment, Gerard stepped back, and I worried that he’d realized what he was doing.

“Beautiful,” he whispered, and I understood he’d been taking my body in, as if he had intentions of painting me in great detail. Almost shyly, he traced his fingers over my naked upper body, his fingers splaying and cupping my breasts. Though still covered in my bra, a sigh escaped my lips as he moved his fingers over me, finding my semi-hard nipples easily and brushing them softly. He didn't pause to look at me as he deftly unclasped my bra and pulled it off, leaving it to fall to the floor between us. Gerard’s eyes slipped closed as his hands explored my body, his hands working magic, eliciting small moans of pleasure from me. When he ran out of new places to caress, he dipped his fingers under the waistband of the sweats, then slipped them down in one quick motion. My panties went with them, and I couldn't stop myself from blushing. Before he could return to caressing me, I took the opportunity to remove his shirt and, after struggling with the button and zipper fly, his pants. I blushed even more when I caught a glimpse of his swollen member straining against his boxers.

Gerard moved forward again, pressing our bodies back together, hands moving farther down than ever before. He brushed against me, and I spread my legs to allow him further access. A finger slipped between my legs, caressing the hot, wet skin there. I threw my head back as he found my clitoris, brushing it ever so softly, before moving to explore the rest of me. Slowly, he eased a finger inside of me, stopping suddenly when he reached a barrier. He met my eyes with a look of surprise.

“Josie…you’re…?”

Blushing furiously, I nodded. “I’m a virgin,” I admitted softly.

“But-”

I didn't let him finish speaking. Instead, I clamped a hand over his mouth. “Please, don’t stop this. Please,” I said, knowing my desperation was evident in my voice.

“Are you sure?” he asked, worry creasing his brow.

I rolled my eyes, and eased my hand down his boxers, sighing softly at the feel of his hard length in my hand. “I’m sure,” I whispered.

With a grunt, he shed his boxers and picked me up, dropping me onto the bed.

Crawling onto the bed over me, he dragged his lips over my stomach and hips, his hands shaking where they gripped my waist. Looking down at me, he mumbled, “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” before he devoured my mouth with his. His tongue thrust into my mouth, and I met it with my own, caressing it shyly. His hands kneaded my breasts again, and I trembled under his touch. His lips left mine and traveled down my neck, and I gasped when they attached to my nipple, suckling and licking. Tingles shot through my body, setting me on fire. I arched my back, chest heaving as Gerard gave both breasts his full, undivided attention. “God, Josie, you’re amazing,” he whispered against my skin. “Are you ready?” he asked, his fingers moving lower.

I knew I was ready...but I wanted to touch him too. “Not yet,” I said sitting up. He sat back on his heels and looked at me questioningly as I crawled towards him on the bed. Kneeling before him, I kissing his lips softly, moving to his earlobe and then down to his chest. I swirled one of his nipples in my mouth, and I felt a wave of pleasure when he shuddered. I moved to the other and let my hand drift down to touch him. I wrapped my hand around his shaft and let myself feel his hardness. Sinking lower on the bed, I used my fingertip to trace the pulsing veins on his cock, then experimentally ran my tongue over the velvety tip. Gerard audibly gasped, his fingers threading through my hair and holding me in place. Slowly, I moved my lips over the tip, then worked my way down, inch by inch. Using the palm of my hand, I cupped his balls, and fought not to smile when he moaned under my touch.

“Sugar, if you keep that up, I’m going to lose it,” he said throatily.

Sucking in my cheeks, I pulled my mouth from his cock, staring at it in wonder as I realized it was just a little longer, a little thicker than before. It looked incredibly uncomfortable. I licked my lips and forced myself to meet Gerard’s eyes. What I saw there made me tremble. The look on his face was one of pure male need and want, his pupils dilated and fixed upon me- the prey.

He crushed his lips against me, and together, we tumbled down onto the bed. I felt his cock brush against me, and I watched as Gerard sat back and looked at me. “No going back?” he asked.

I shook my head and watched as he positioned himself at my entrance. I braced myself as he began to push into me, stretching me to accommodate his girth. I winced slightly as the tip of him found the barrier within me. “Relax, Josie,” he said, and reached for my hand. I took it, and found it trembling as much as my own. “Ready?”

I nodded again and licked my lips. He moved again, working himself further inside. When he broke me, I fought not to cry out. I clenched Gerard’s hand, and as the pain subsided, my grip eased, telling him it was okay to move again. He did, and with each small stroke came a wave of pleasure laced with pain. I shivered as the last of him made its way into my body, and he stopped, holding himself above me and watching my face. I moved, and as I did, he moaned in pleasure and I found it didn't hurt so much anymore. The pain had turned into a dull ache, and it was bearable. “Please,” I said. He nodded, and closing his eyes, he pulled out and eased back in, and I finally began to see what all the fuss was about. With each stroke, I relished the feeling of Gerard’s hard cock filling me up. I felt each and every ridge and bump as he worked in and out, in and out, keeping his strokes rhythmic. The pleasure began to fill my groin with every stroke, bringing me higher and higher until I felt dizzy. I wrapped my legs around his, keeping him close as he worked harder, our breaths coming in ragged pants and hands touching, mouths kissing and caressing. The tension in me built and built, until it snapped, and my body caved in around Gerard. I moaned and threw my head back onto the bed with my eyes squeezed shut in pleasure and my hands clutching the quilt. “Gerard!” I cried out as I continued to spasm in his arms, and he kept stroking, faster and faster, and just when I thought the fire in me was dying, he brought me again, screaming his name and panting.

“Fuck, Josie,” Gerard groaned out as he began to tremble above me. Once more, my body spasmed around him and he collapsed, moaning my name over and over as he found his release and rode it out to completion.

When his breathing regulated, he rolled himself off of me, sweat still lingering on his forehead. I tried not to flinch at the tinge of blood on his still stiff member.

“You’re fantastic,” I said shyly.

He looked at me. “Well…you don’t really have anyone else to compare it to.”

I smiled softly. “I think anyone after that is going to be a disappointment.”

What I couldn't bring myself to say was that I hoped there would never be anyone else to compare it to.