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He Never Told Me What He Did for a Living

Chapter Twenty

After Gerard walked out, Angel had found me still curled up on my bed. By the time she got there, the hurt had faded until I just felt numb. The numb feeling was still there, but lately, I’d had other worries on my mind.

Gran’s cold had gotten worse, and turned into pneumonia. We were on day four at the hospital, and I was pacing the floor.

“Josie…honey, why don’t you sit down?” Gran asked weakly. There was a slight hesitation between her words, as if she didn’t quit have enough breath to get them out without taking a break. I tried to ignore the oxygen tubes up her nose as I studied her.

She’d lost weight, and though it was expected, it still scared me. The fact that she lay in a hospital bed hooked to an IV and oxygen left me terrified. Pacing was my way of dealing.

“I’m sorry Gran, but I can’t help it,” I apologized and felt bad that I couldn't do as she asked.

“Please,” she said softly.

The word made me freeze in my tracks. Slowly, I dropped my body down into the nearest chair. Even sitting in the chair trying my damnedest to be still, I found I still had a burning urge to fidget. “Sorry,” I whispered, apologizing again.

“It’s New Years Eve, sweetie. Call Angel,” she said, and then coughed.

I winced at the wet sound in her chest. “But you…” I trailed off when Gran held up her hand.

“I’m in a hospital, surrounded by doctors and nurses who are helping me get better. Go, Josie, have some fun and stop walking holes in the tile.”

I smiled slightly, and swallowed the lie that she was going to ‘get better.’ She wasn’t, and I knew that, but I let her fool me just this once.

“Okay, Gran,” I said, and bent to kiss her cheek. “I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you too, my girl,” she said, and the smile on her face made the decision to do what she said a little easier.

I pulled my black coat on and walked down the hospital corridor, hands shoved into my pockets. When I stepped outside, I shivered at the cool wind but relished the fresh air and the sunshine. I’d spent too much time in a hospital that smelled of death, even under the smells of disinfectant and hospital food.

I dialed Angel’s number and asked her to pick me up at the hospital.

“Did your Gran get released yet?” she asked in her chipper voice.

“No, not yet, Angel. But…I need a break from being in there. It’s depressing.”

“You need some fun in your life, then,” she said excitedly.

“I’ll see you when you get here,” I said with a laugh and hung up on her before she could get too excited.

Moments later, Angel slammed her car in park, narrowly missing the curb. I stepped back and stared at her as if she’d grown another head. She emerged from the car, blonde hair flying wildly around her face, which was sporting its usual smile, though there was a little more excitement today.

“Angel! You nearly ran over my foot!” I said with a scowl.

She shushed me as she ran around the car to stand in front of me, the untied shoelaces of her knee-high converse flapping softly. I let myself study her shoes for a moment, because they were truly unique, and completely Angel. She’d purchased the shoes in the plain white canvas, and until we’d stopped at an art store, I thought she’d made a mistake. But no, she’d explained to me as she busily studied neon fabric paints. She planned to draw on them and make them completely custom, and she’d gotten the knee-high sneakers so she’d have more room to express herself. And express herself she had- her shoes always caught your eye, and there was always something new about them, and not always visible in the light. Besides neon color, Angel had found paint that glowed in the dark as well as some that only showed up under a black light.

Today, I noticed she’d painted zebra stripes on the rubberized toe, and of course, they were multi-colored.

“I like the zebra print,” I told her.

“I know. Wait until you see them under the black light at the party tonight,” she said, her grin growing until it stretched ear to ear.

“Party? Angel, no. I just need a break, not a party,” I protested.

She yanked at my arm, tugging me a few steps before I pulled my own weight against her. Huffing, she spun around to look at me. “Look, Josie, you called me, and I’m here, and we’re going to the party!”

I opened my mouth to argue, but she clamped a vanilla scented hand over my mouth. “No! We’re going, no arguing. You are so down in the dumps you hardly ever smile. First it was because Gerard was gone, and now you’re worried about your Gran, and I understand that, but you can’t let yourself-” She broke off and hesitated for a moment before continuing. “Damn it, Josie, I’m sorry, but I can’t just let you hide away forever.”

Angel had amended her speech, but I knew what she’d been about to say. It hung unspoken in the air- die. You can’t let yourself die with her.

Deep down, I knew she was right, and Gerard had told me the same thing, though not quite so harshly. I sighed, and fought back the tears. “You’re right. I’ll go.”

Angel stared at me, her mouth open. “Really? I’m right? You’ll go? I win?”

I laughed slightly at her hesitation to get excited. “Yes, Angel, you win.”

With a shriek, she finished tugging me towards the car and shoved me in faster than I could catch my balance.

Her grin was bright enough to blot out the sun, if she had so desired.
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Another short chapter, but at least this one didn't take an entire month to write. After this one, the chapters should pick up in length again, and I, for one, am looking forward to it.

Music I found inspiring for this chapter:

*Under The Water by The Pretty Reckless [from the Kill Me- Single]
*The Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance [from Conventional Weapons- Number Three]
*Head Above Water by Theory of a Deadman [from The Truth Is... album]
*Love Is Hell by Theory of a Deadman [from The Truth Is...]
*Hurricane by Theory of a Deadman [from The Truth Is...]
*Surrender by The Used [from Vulnerable (II)]
*All You Wanted by Allison Sudol & Sounds Under Radio [from The Vampire Diaries Soundtrack]
*Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch
*Completely by Art of Dying
*Raining by Art of Dying ft. Adam Gontier
*Bittersweet Memories by Bullet For My Valentine

So that's the majority of what helped me get this written, if ya wanna give them a listen, sort of as a soundtrack to go with the chapter. If you guys like my 'soundtrack', let me know in the comments and I'll keep doing them for you. Feel free to add your own to the list- what songs represent Josie, or Josie & Gerard's relationship, to you?

-Rat Head.