He Never Told Me What He Did for a Living

It was late by the time I got back to Gran's house, and I was exhausted. I forced myself to stay awake in the shower and fell into bed with a wet head, something I knew I’d pay for in the morning. However, I just couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to use the blow dryer.

The next morning, a honking horn made me wake up. I glanced at the clock- 7:40. School started at 8! I bolted from the bed and to the closet, pulling out a pair of ripped jeans and a t-shirt. I quickly dressed, slipped on my Converse, collected my messenger bag and ran out the door. In my hurry, I'd forgotten my iPod. Damn. I glanced back at Grandma's house but I knew I had no time to go in and get it.

Then, I realized who had been honking the horn. Gerard was in his car, a smile and those huge sunglasses on his face. He waved me over and I walked to the driver's side. The window was rolled down.

"What are you doing here?"

"What kind of greeting is that? I was in the 'hood." he smirked.

"Okay...so why are you parked in front of my house?"

He ignored me, as I found he did often. "You wanna ride to school?"

"Sure. I'm running late."

"Hop in, then." He unlocked the doors and rolled up his window.

As I buckled up, he nudged the volume of the system up a bit. I picked out the song easily. "Jack the Ripper" by Morrissey.

"Morrissey?" I asked him, watching his face.

He turned to me and talked out the side of his mouth. "Yeah! You know Morrissey?"

"Hell yes! This is one of my favorite songs." We continued our conversation over the music as I pulled a brush through my long hair with much difficulty. I winced as the brush came free from the tangled mess, pulling several strands with it.

Too soon, Gerard was pulling into the school's parking lot. My reluctance to open the door and get out was clear.

"Go on. You gotta go to school or you'll definitely end up in jail." he laughed.

"No, I won't! It's just one day!"

"Yes, you will. And it takes a whole week to make up what you missed in one day. Besides, you need to be social. Make some friends today."

Ugh. That word again.

I grimaced at him. "Sure." I pulled a cheesy smile, which he returned.

"Have a good day, Josie." he called after me as I walked toward the building.

But as I pulled open the door, I noticed that a lot of kids resembled me in the way they dressed. I caught a glimpse of a Misfits t-shirt and jeans, and made a mental note to look for that girl later. Maybe I would make some friends today.

In my fourth hour computer class, I sat at my desk turning Microsoft Excel into a work of art. My worksheet had looked so bland and boring that I had turned every cell's font to Comic Sans and a rainbow of neon colors. I turned the headings to a 45 degree angle and added a neon purple border. I was amazed with the things you could do to a worksheet in Excel, boring as it was. I sat back and admired the vast improvement I'd made. It was totally rockin' my socks! Suddenly, I felt a presence and nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Ms. Scott. When you have finished toying with your assignment, I would like it if you did your study guide." Ms. Esprit stood over me with her dark brown eyes criticizing my work. "And I'm deducting points for....that," she added.

Boy was she cold! Even neon colors against black couldn't warm her up! She had a serious problem. I groaned and went back to my 'art.'

"I think it’s cool," said a voice beside me.

I looked over to find the girl sitting next to me admiring the screen. Why had I never noticed her sitting there before?

Because you were too busy not being anyone's friend, that's why, a tiny voice in my head said.

"Really? You think so?" I smiled.

"Yeah, I like neon colors."

“I’m Josie,” I said, introducing myself.

"I'm Angelica. You can call me Angel though."

Hey, maybe making friends wasn't so bad after all.

After school was over, I anchored my messenger bag across my chest and began my trek to Grandma's house. Maybe she would have more cookies today. I reached for my iPod, and then remembered that I'd left it. Again, I cursed. I felt lost without my iPod. I walked past the library, still missing my iPod.

"Psst, Josie." I glanced around but saw no one I knew. I continued walking.

"Pssssstt, Josie!!" The voice came again, more urgent and louder this time. I realized it was coming from a car parked nearby. There was only one person I knew who would be in a vehicle, calling my name like that. I risked a look.

Sure enough, it was Gerard. I rolled my eyes and got in the passenger's seat. As I pulled the seat belt across me, I looked over at him. He was still wearing those huge face-obscuring sunglasses.
"You stalking' me or something- what the hell are you wearing?"

Gerard was no longer Gerard. Instead, he had been transformed into Geradine...or something like that. He wore a long black wig and clothes that were slightly feminine. And he had boobs!

He smiled, looking quite proud of himself for dressing in drag, and then pulled off his sunglasses, which revealed a fully made-up face. HIs eyelids sparkled with a shimmery pink shadow, his eyes carefully lined and his eyelashes caked with black mascara.

I must say, he is a very convincing female.

"It looks like you raided your mom's make-up!" I snickered.

"No...it's all mine." he said.

"You know what? I don't even wanna know."

I snuck another look at him...her as 'she' pulled the car out of the library parking lot and sped down the street.

"So, did you make any friends today?"

"Um...kind of. I talked to the girl next to me in computer class."

"Good for you! See? It's not hard for cool, pretty people to make friends. You eat lunch with her?"

Pretty? Did Gerard Way just call me pretty?

"No...I practiced again." I said.

"Eat lunch with her sometime. Who knows, she might end up as your best friend." he paused. "What's her name?"

"Angel."

"Cool name." He pulled into Gran's driveway and I stared at him.

"What?" he said.

"You're not going in like that!"

"Why not?”

"Because you look like a girl!"

"Oh, got something against girls, do ya?"

"Not really, just the ugly ones." I teased him.

"You're always insulting someone!"

"I didn't say you were an ugly girl. You are the one who clarified that you were the ugly girl, not me." I smirked.

"Oh...Shut up!" he said, getting out of the car. Reluctantly, I followed, dreading my grandmother seeing her friend’s son dressed as a girl.

As soon as she saw him, she raised her eyebrows and looked at me. “Josie, I’m not so sure you oughta be hanging around such a feminine fella,” she said with a straight face.

Gerard blinked at her bluntness. “Lorraine! I’m incognito! You know, from all the girls that want me to marry them.”

“Are the girls blind and mentally ill?” she asked, winking at me.

“Aha! I saw that, Lorraine!” Gerard said, laughing.

I laughed at the two and ushered him upstairs to the bathroom, telling him to please help himself to the make-up remover. He shut the door behind him, but not before rolling his eyes at me.