He Never Told Me What He Did for a Living

Several minutes later, Gerard opened the bathroom door, his face flushed and hair a little sweaty. I opened my mouth to ask, and he responded quickly with, “I don’t wanna talk about it, okay?”

I nodded, and although I was confused, I wouldn’t push it further. Although I was new to the friendship thing, I knew there were boundaries, and I wasn’t about to put them to the test with Gerard. “Okay. Let me just grab my things and go tell Gran where we’re going,” I said.

He looked relieved that I didn’t ask about his strange behavior, and he seemed to relax. I quickly shoved my iPod and a book into a small bag and slung it across my body. We headed downstairs, but Gran was nowhere to be found. “Damn it,” I cursed. “I need a GPS on that woman! She always leaves without telling me!”

“Relax. She’s probably just over at my mom’s,” Gerard said, patting me on the shoulder.
“She still could’ve told me,” I said, sulking.

“I’ll call and check for you, okay? Let’s go,” he said and handed me my black coat. He nearly shoved me out of the door, and I scowled at him. “What?” he asked innocently.

“What’s the rush?” I asked.

His cheeks turned pink again. “Just wanna beat the traffic,” he muttered as he cranked up the car. “You gonna get in or not?”

Grumbling, I got in the car, and as soon as I felt the heat hit me, I was glad I had. It felt wonderful, and I sighed in bliss. From the corner of my eye, I could see Gerard watching me intently, and I fought to keep from smirking as he shook his head and put the car in reverse. Something unexpected was happening here, and I wasn’t sure if it would end well- or end in disaster.
On the way, I learned two things. One, my grandma was not at Mrs. Way’s. Two, band practice was not going to be at one of the guys’ houses- no, it was being held in a club, and Frank happened to have enough pull with the manager that he managed to ‘borrow’ it for two whole hours.

“You’re gonna love it, Josie. It’s a small club, one that we used to frequent when we were just starting out,” he was saying excitedly. “And don’t ask me why, but I just wanted to share this with you. And I just know the guys are gonna love you!”

This was strange to me, a grown man giddy with excitement. “Why?” I asked. I know he’d said not to, but I had to.

Gerard didn’t seem to notice- he answered without hesitation. “You’re special, Josie. You’re so sweet, so kind-hearted. You’re like a diamond in a coal mine.”

I didn’t bother asking whether this was in response to me asking why he wanted to share this with me or why he thought the guys were gonna love me. I was too stunned and touched at the same time. I struggled with the two emotions, and eventually, being touched by his words won out. A tear slipped from my eye. “No one’s ever told me anything like that, except for Gran,” I said quietly.

He glanced at me as he parked the car behind a tiny building. “Aw, Jo, I didn’t mean to make you cry, sugar,” he said softly, and before I knew what he was doing, he wiped my tears away.

I smiled. “I’m okay. You always seem to know exactly what to say,” I said.

Gerard’s gaze turned serious. “In the short time I’ve known you, Josie, you’ve become someone I care deeply about. I know our age difference probably seems strange to you, that you could be friends with someone my age but-“

I held a hand up. “Actually, Gran told me that I could have friends of any age. I wasn’t so sure, when she told me that I should keep you company the day we met. But now I am. Our age difference doesn’t bother me,” I explained.

He broke into a smile and opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by a voice shouting. “Are you two gonna get out or sit in there and make out?”

I blinked as I realized we were surrounded by four men. I recognized one of them as Mikey. Gerard groaned and flipped them off. “Might as well get out and face them now,” he said and opened the car door.

I followed suit, pulling my coat tighter around my body as a chilling wind roared over the parking lot. “Hi, Mikey,” I said as I tried to keep my teeth from chattering.

“Hey, Josie. How’s it going?” he greeted.

“It’s pretty damn chilly,” I complained, making him crack a smile.

Gerard noticed that I was freezing, and took over. “Let’s go in for our introductions, it’s fucking cold out here.”

The others grunted but headed inside the club, with Gerard and I tagging along behind. He held the door open for me and guided me in with his free hand. “Thanks, I thought I was about to freeze out there.”

“No problem,” he said with a shrug. “I just hope they don’t torment you.”

“Wha-?” I didn’t have time to finish my question because a guy about my height was suddenly right in front of me.

“I’m Frank Iero,” he said.

“Josie Scott,” I said, and offered him a hand. He took it quickly, then took advantage and dragged me over to the rest of the guys. I glanced back at Gerard, who looked at a loss.

“Right, you know Mikey. So this is Bob Bryar and Ray Toro,” Frank said, pointing out Bob as the tall blonde and Ray as the guy with the afro.

“Hey, I’m Josie,” I said, shaking each of their hands.

“So is it true, Josie?” Frank asked.

I was helpless. “Is what true?” I stammered.

“Is it true that you and Gerard are fuck-” Frank suddenly had a hand clamped over his mouth. I recognized the hand as Gerard’s, and when I looked into his face, his expression was that of someone who was not happy.

No one moved to help Frank- in fact; Mikey, Bob and Ray all looked rather amused. I had to do something.

“In answer to that rude-ass question that you asked, no, Gerard and I are not sleeping together. We are nothing more than friends,” I said.

Gerard nodded in approval and removed his hand from Frank’s mouth. “Happy now? You’ve successfully embarrassed me and Josie.” By the set of his jaw, I could tell Gerard still wasn’t very happy about the way his friend and band mate was acting.

Frank rubbed his face. “I’m sorry, guys. Forgive me?”

Gerard nodded, but I lifted my eyebrows. “We’ll see,” I said. “I don’t think I quite like you, Frank.”

I saw Gerard stifle a laugh, and I struggled to keep a straight face. Frank was one of Gerard’s best friends, which made him my friend by default. Honestly, I liked him, but couldn’t let him get away with being an ass.

Frank hung his head and nodded as if he understood.

Gerard interrupted. “Alright, are we gonna do this thing or what?”

The guys seemed eager to play together again; they all rushed to the small stage and picked up their instruments. Frank, Ray checked the tuning of their guitars, Bob cracked his knuckles and twirled a drumstick, and Mikey checked his bass. Gerard only downed a bottle of water, then stretched out. He put his mouth to the microphone and said, “Check one, check two, check, check.”

His smooth voice echoed from speakers located somewhere behind the table I was sitting at, sending chills down my spine.

There was a moment of silence before Ray began to strum a slow tune on his guitar, and I watched as Gerard caressed the microphone.

“Hand in mine into your icy blues, and then I’d say to you, we could take to the highway…”

I didn’t recognize the song, since I was new to My Chemical Romance’s music, but it was a beautiful song. Gerard’s voice was raw with emotion over the speakers, and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he sang.

I felt my heart skip a beat when he opened his eyes and caught my gaze, singing “I'm trying, I'm trying, to let you know how much you mean…”

I felt as if there was a spotlight on me as I sat there frozen under his hazel eyes, and my skin grew hot as I remembered the touch of his lips on mine. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his hands touching the microphone stand so intimately, or his sensuous mouth only a breath away from the microphone itself. A flame flickered in his eyes before he shut them tightly again, belting out the last of the song. The tight feeling in my chest was uncomfortable; it felt as though my lungs had collapsed in my chest and my heart was pounding.

Gerard said a single word just before the band stopped playing, and they immediately launched into another song. “Long ago, just like the hearse you die to get in again, we are so far from you,” he sang, eyes closed again, his dark lashes resting against his pale face. As I watched him sing, I realized this was a song that meant something to him, something more than the rest of the songs; it came from his heart and it was eerie that I could hear it in his voice. I followed his suit and shut my eyes, allowing the music to course through me.

It was yet another fantastic song; Gerard’s voice was phenomenal. I loved the rawness of it, and the emotions I could feel as his voice reverberated through my body. It left me aching for more, almost as if he was making love to my ears. I felt my cheeks redden at such a thought.

“You guys hungry?” Mikey asked. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the question. Mikey weighed about 90 pounds, soaking wet, and yet he was always hungry. Go figure.

"Pizza!" Frank yelled, putting in his vote loudly.

“Fine with me. Josie, what kind of pizza do you like?” Gerard asked as he walked over to where I was sitting.

“Um, pepperoni, but I’ll eat whatever you guys order,” I said. I remained seated, afraid to get up in fear of my legs trembling in front of everyone.

"Cool, I'll order, then we can all catch up," Frank said, then went to ask Bob and Ray what they wanted on the pizza.

I didn’t have to worry, because he plopped down in the chair right next to me, stretching his legs out in such a way that his thigh brushed mine. I jumped at the spark that went flying through my body- this was just plain uncomfortable. “Um, where’s the restroom?” I managed to squeak out. I cursed inwardly as he grinned.

“I’ll show you,” Gerard said.

I stood quickly, but he took his time, even stretching the entire length of his body before getting up. I averted my eyes and tapped my foot. Even after he got to his feet, he walked exaggeratedly slow down a dark, narrow hallway marked “Exit” with a neon red sign.

“This is it,” he said, as we reached a door that said ‘Ladies.’

I glared at him, even though I knew in the darkness he couldn’t see it. “Thanks, Einstein, I never would've found it myself,” I muttered, then attempted to slide around him.

Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t tell in the darkness, exactly how much room he was taking up in the narrow area before I attempted this feat. It proved to make everything much more uncomfortable as I realized my entire body was pressed against his. I was on the borderline of hyperventilating until he leaned over me, his breath caressing my cheek before his lips brushed my ear- then, I stopped breathing altogether.

“Uncomfortable, isn’t it?” Gerard whispered in my ear, his body pressing closer than I imagined possible.

I felt a shiver travel up the length of my body, and I heard him laugh softly. Uncertainly, I raised my hands to touch him. Before they reached their destination, he had them pinned to the wall above my head. “Uh, uh, uh,” he scolded. Easily, he caught both of my hands in one of his and used his free one to brush a piece of hair from my face. I was somewhat thankful for the darkness so that he couldn’t see my heaving chest or my flushed face. I closed my eyes and dared to wet my lips with my tongue, hoping he wouldn’t sense the tiny motion. I could feel his heart beating against my breast, and it vibrated through my body, then fell into pace with mine.

The good girl part of me was shoved out of the way as the bad girl part of me took over. I felt the change in the air surrounding the two of us, pressed so closely together. Boldly, I shifted my head just a fraction and kissed his cheek. I could smell the scent of his leather jacket mingled with his cologne and sweat- it was wonderful. I breathed him in as his hand caught me behind the head and pulled me even closer. My legs trembled beneath me and threatened to give way, but Gerard released my face and caught me around the waist, grinding me against his pelvis. I wasn’t especially surprised to feel his hardness, but it still caught me off guard and I gasped. It was all the invitation he needed to press his lips to mine, savagely attacking my mouth with his own. A soft moan escaped me as his arm tightened around me, crushing me against him.

Stopping him was not on my mind; at least, it was not in the forefront. No, my thoughts were swirling about in my head, and all of them included Gerard and a bed. I slipped my tongue into Gerard’s mouth and caressed his mouth, feeling dizzy from the sensations I was experiencing. Breathless, we parted, both of us panting and trying to make sense of what was happening to us. When I found that I couldn’t make sense of something that felt so right, I touched Gerard’s face.
“Josie…” he said, catching my hand and holding it to his cheek. “Fuck,” he cursed. “I’m sorry, Jo, we can’t do this! It’s wrong! Fuck!” I flinched as he yelled.

I choked back a sob. “Please, Gerard. I-“

He dropped my hand and pulled away. “Don’t. Don’t say it. I can’t. I can’t,” he said.

I pulled myself back up against the wall, straightening my clothes and nearly in tears. I couldn’t look at him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

“Gerard! Where you at man? Pizza’s here!” Frank’s voice rang out, followed by the sound of a door slamming.

“Coming!” he yelled back, then glanced at me a final time. I could feel his eyes on me but couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I pushed the door open to the restroom, and pressed my back to it, praying he wouldn’t follow me.

When I was sure he was gone, I turned the lock and washed my face at the sink, then took a good look at myself. My lips were swollen, but my eyes looked sad. I couldn’t go back out looking like this- they would all know something had happened between us. They were suspicious enough, and I knew they were capable of putting two and two together.

I wiped my face again and buttoned up my coat. I didn’t have my bag with me but Gerard and Mikey knew where I lived- one of them could drop it off at Gran’s house. Cracking the restroom door slightly, I listened. They were back to playing music. I took a deep breath, slipped out of the restroom and through the door marked ‘Exit.’