Status: Yo.
What the Shell, Dude?
If You See Something, Say Something.
It's pretty damn weird being Brian Dales.
It's also pretty damn weird being a human turtle.
But being both at the same time? Well, that was one to tell the grandchildren.
Brian crouched to the floor and tightened the strap of his sandal with a leathery green hand. Normally, he wouldn't have chosen such awful footwear, but he had a dress code to stick to and this wacky urban crime fighting bonanza was the only job he could get. (And believe me, getting another job was a fucking nightmare after what had happened to his band.)
The Summer Set went to shit when their guitarist Josh got some weird-ass surgery somewhere in Japan and turned himself into a lion. Unfortunately, he promptly left the band to reside on Pride Rock, singing his heart out, and that was that.
A few weeks later, it had become obvious that crazy body modifications were really taking over what was once a very normal band. Not too long ago, Stephen had turned up one morning with a sparkly tail instead of legs, and since then he'd been far too in touch with his feminine side for anyone to take seriously. Most of the time, he just went on show at the local aquarium and giggled a lot.
But despite the inconvenience, (and the horrific fashion choices) life was stable enough. It was early on a Monday morning, and around the time Brian would expect a phone call from his boss. Sure enough, the small device on the bedside table began to bleep, and after fumbling for a few seconds, he took the call.
"G'morning," he mumbled, trying to sound attentive and not tired.
"Morning, Mr. Dales. Good news, we've got some work for you. There's someone we want you to keep tabs on today. Dangerous guy."
"Who is it?"
"Young man named Sean Silverman. Dark haired. We'll text a photograph."
"Describe him to me," pressed Brian, raising an eyebrow.
"Uhh... he likes boobs."
"Wait, what?"
"No, that's the thing. He really, really likes boobs. That's why he's so dangerous."
"Right, I gotta go," Brian lied quickly, "But I'm on it. Text me details."
After tossing his mobile down onto the bed, Brian sighed to himself at the prospect of a long tiring day chasing some crazy pervert around town. Well, at least there was decent money in his work.
It's also pretty damn weird being a human turtle.
But being both at the same time? Well, that was one to tell the grandchildren.
Brian crouched to the floor and tightened the strap of his sandal with a leathery green hand. Normally, he wouldn't have chosen such awful footwear, but he had a dress code to stick to and this wacky urban crime fighting bonanza was the only job he could get. (And believe me, getting another job was a fucking nightmare after what had happened to his band.)
The Summer Set went to shit when their guitarist Josh got some weird-ass surgery somewhere in Japan and turned himself into a lion. Unfortunately, he promptly left the band to reside on Pride Rock, singing his heart out, and that was that.
A few weeks later, it had become obvious that crazy body modifications were really taking over what was once a very normal band. Not too long ago, Stephen had turned up one morning with a sparkly tail instead of legs, and since then he'd been far too in touch with his feminine side for anyone to take seriously. Most of the time, he just went on show at the local aquarium and giggled a lot.
But despite the inconvenience, (and the horrific fashion choices) life was stable enough. It was early on a Monday morning, and around the time Brian would expect a phone call from his boss. Sure enough, the small device on the bedside table began to bleep, and after fumbling for a few seconds, he took the call.
"G'morning," he mumbled, trying to sound attentive and not tired.
"Morning, Mr. Dales. Good news, we've got some work for you. There's someone we want you to keep tabs on today. Dangerous guy."
"Who is it?"
"Young man named Sean Silverman. Dark haired. We'll text a photograph."
"Describe him to me," pressed Brian, raising an eyebrow.
"Uhh... he likes boobs."
"Wait, what?"
"No, that's the thing. He really, really likes boobs. That's why he's so dangerous."
"Right, I gotta go," Brian lied quickly, "But I'm on it. Text me details."
After tossing his mobile down onto the bed, Brian sighed to himself at the prospect of a long tiring day chasing some crazy pervert around town. Well, at least there was decent money in his work.
♠ ♠ ♠
So, this is the first chapter of a fic I'm writing for my friend Anya. Please don't take it too seriously, I'm having a little fun here.