Don't Give Up on Us

Josh's POV

I felt weak the second I saw her. My breath stopped short and my heart hammered against my chest. It had been far too long. Who was I kidding when I said I was over her anyway? Not Max, not the rest of the guys and certainly not myself. It’d been over a year. I’d tried. I’d tried so hard to get over her. I’d poured and the hate and the love and everything else into the band but it didn’t mean it wasn’t still there.

I tried to convince myself I hated her. Everything was telling me I should hate her. She cheated on me then moved country without even saying goodbye. She’d spoken to every member of the band I was in except me. But she was beautiful and smart and funny and one of my best friends. No way could I ever hate that.

I watched her as she walked in, desperately trying not to look like I cared. She walked hand in hand with him - the one who’d stolen her from me. I watched as his lips moved to her ear and she giggled. I saw them see me and stop dead in their tracks. I felt bad for that. I quickly looked away as Max stood up to greet them. I was so busy attempting to look indifferent to the girl I loved who I hadn’t seen in so long that I hardly noticed when Max pointed to the girl next to me. “Savannah,” I said monotonously.

That was when the girl beside me took my hand. I turned towards her and felt dead inside. She was factory pretty. Tacky, even. I’d met her earlier in our hotel lobby. I’d ran down there after Max said who we’d be going out with that night and on a stupid whim I’d asked if she’d like to come along. I don’t know why. I felt nothing for her except possibly annoyance. I guess I was trying to prove something. It barely phased me when she eagerly stuck her tongue down my throat right there in front of everyone. It felt like I was kissing a sea creature. A sea creature who liked cherry flavoured chewing gum. After a while, much to her dismay, I pulled away and tried to look interested in my thumbs. A regular occurrence.

“Josh,” I looked up. It was Alex. I was kind of shocked. Things between us were never good. “How’s writing for the new album going? I’m kind of on a block myself.” Why was he even talking to me? I didn’t really get it but I wasn’t going to cause a scene.

“Oh, you know,” I looked over at him, trying not to concentrate on the person sitting beautifully beside him. “The entire album kind of has a theme running through it and I’m finding it easy to write about.” I said truthfully. I always loved talking about music, regardless of who it was with.

“Sounds awesome! What’s the theme?” I should’ve known he’d ask.

“Heartbreak. Jealousy. Backstabbers,” I muttered bitterly. I didn’t mean it to come out like that. I’d let it slip that I was writing an entire album about his girlfriend. What was that about not causing a scene, Josh? Then Minnie whispered something in Alex’s ear before getting out of her seat. Savannah quickly followed.

“Cool it mate,” Max said once they’d left.

“I’m fine,” I stared down at my hands. “I’m just fine.”

“Just don’t…fuck anything up. Please,” Max spoke softly to me so her boyfriend wouldn’t hear.

“I said I was fine!” I rushed a little too loudly. No one looked convinced.

“Shots?” Alex offered suddenly. I nodded in agreement. Maybe if I got drunk enough I’d forget about being so close to her but feeling so far away.

It was working, for a while. But shot after shot of whatever the hell I was drinking still couldn’t totally block her out. I cursed my high alcohol tolerance when I saw everyone else in the bar absolutely out of it and having a good time. Although I was glad to see Savannah attached to some other guy’s face and hopefully forgetting about my existence. I downed a couple of more shots and that’s when I saw her on her own.

I walked over to where she was trying to dance. She never was a good dancer. I laughed drunkenly to myself . I placed my hands on her hips and, as cheesy as it seems, the touch felt electric. It felt good to be this close with her again. Even if I knew she wasn’t aware of what she was doing. Heck, I wasn’t aware either. Suddenly she turned around to face me and her arms wrapped themselves around my neck. Her head found my shoulder and her warm breath on my neck made me shiver.