Status: Active
Can't Be Friends
"She told me that those days were gone."
Nia
“Iight, we be back, Ma,” Lonnie called to Aunt Lucille.
I followed him as we walked out of the house.
“I'm hungry, bro,” I mumbled to my cousin.
He nodded. “Me too. We'll get something to eat at the outlets, cous.”
“We going to see Sylia?” I smirked.
Lonnie rolled his eyes dramatically. “No. I don't like that girl.”
“Oh, yea? Your subconscious says otherwise, dreaming about telling her how much you love her, Mr. Sleeptalker.”
He scowled at me, embarrassed.
“It's cool if you like a big girl, man. Seriously, you get major respect for not being a shallow pig like most guys. You should embrace it, bro.”
Lonnie's lips twitched in a surpressed smile. “Whatever.”
Fifteen blocks later, we arrive at the AC outlet mall. It wasn’t the first time we’d made the trek and I knew it wouldn't be the last. But walks like that are what made my trips to Atlantic City so fun.
He opened the door to Gap for me.
Lonnie walked over to a brown-skinned guy with a bright smile. “Hey, Devan.”
The guy gave him a backwards nod. “Ey, man.” His glowing brown eyes met mine. “Hi, Nia.”
I smiled back at Devan, my heart thumping.
I’d known Devan since I was nine, the last time I’d gone to visit my aunt Lucille and cousin Marlon for the summer. He was nice and sweet and caring and I’d had a crush on him since the first time we’d met. It hadn’t gone away in the last nine years either, even though he now had a fiancé and son.
“When you get off?” Lonnie asked, picking up a blue t-shirt and holding it to his chest before lying it back down, unfolded. Devan glanced at it.
“Uh, ten minutes,” he replied, refolding the tee.
“Alright, we’ll wait. Time to celebrate your birthday, boy.”
Devan's mouth lifts a little in a half smile that warms my heart.
I had no idea how cold my heart would get.
“Got popcorn. We don't have any chips.”
I nodded, reaching my hand into the bowl of carmelcorn my brother had.
“Marlon called for you earlier.”
I glanced over at Keivan. “Mhm.”
“He wanted to know how you're 'handling things'.” Keiv looked at me with careful eyes, as if he expected me to break down at any moment.
“Lonnie.”
Keiv raised an eyebrow in question.
“You always call him Marlon. It's Lonnie.”
Keivan rolls his eyes. “Well, I haven't spent as much time with him like you have. Aunt Lucille doesn't exactly invite me to stay for the summer.”
“You broke her chandelier, Keiv.”
“It was an accident! I was five!”
I laugh a bit. “Then you broke her neighbor's window.”
“I was only like seven. And she shouldn't even know about that.”
“Yea, 'cause you lied to the cops. I bet they're still looking for that guy with the black beard and one arm.”
Keiv smirked. “Shut up.”
I punched him in the arm and he reciprocated by poking my side.
“No! Keivan!”
This initiated a poke war, but after a minute, we were laughing too hard to continue.
“You should call Shawn and get some chicken,” Keiv mumbled, knealing in front of the TV to find a movie.
My body stilled at my best friend's name. Or ex best friend. I'm not even really sure what we were anymore. I craved to be the way we were.
“You're right.”
“Hey, brah,” I heard Keivan greet. Shawn followed him into the living room with our food. He smiled brightly at me.
“Nia-Niaaa! What's up, girl?”
I laughed. “Hey, Shawn-Shawn. Working hard, I see.”
He gave a lopsided grin as he flopped down on the couch beside me. “Always. Grindin' for the fam.”
I rolled my eyes as he took the bowl of popcorn from me and started devouring it. Keivan set the chicken on the coffee table and dug in as well.
Boys.
I went to the kitchen and grabbed some plates for the food.
“Bruh, he totally took my nigga down, hard. It was a'ight though, 'cause e'rybody know Rod's ego could use a couple hits,” Keiv laughed and Shawn chuckled along with him.
“Man, that's Markus for you. He's always ready to take an arrogant jackass down a couple notches,” Shawn replied.
That was definitely true. Markus was Shawn's other best friend and therefore, consequently, mine and he hated arrogance more than anything. He was a tall, dark, African jokester, whose parents had come from the poorest part of Tanzania and made bank as doctors when they got here. Needless to say, he was the richest in our group of friends.
“I hope he keeps it up. It definitely makes wrestling practice more fun.”
Shawn looked at my little brother with interest. “When's your next match?”
Keivan glanced at the TV, pressing play on the remote for whatever movie he put in.
“Um, I think next Friday.”
Shawn nodded as This Christmas showed on the TV. I don't know why I hadn't guessed that's what we were watching. It was Keivan's favorite movie.
They both focused on the screen. My mind was racing though.
I used to love when Shawn would join me and my brother for movie nights, but now it felt so different. I hated having to tiptoe around him in my own home, and I hated the way he looked at me with so much hurt in those dark eyes. Everything was off balance in my life and I was steady trying to find some equilibrium.
Shawn and I were always joined at the hip. Since 5th grade, from the moment we met, we'd just had this insane understanding of each other that no one else could fathom. It was kinda scary at certain points, but when I lost my mom and his dad died, we were right there for each other. When I was trying to hold it together for my dad and little brother, he was the only one I could open up and cry to. He was the one who never told me to shut up with the stories about my mom, the memories of what kind of woman she was and how much I hoped to someday be like her. He was my rock in that sad time and I, unfortunately, returned the favor a year later.
Yet in that moment, I could barely look at him without wanting to throw up at all the emotions trapped inside my body. Things had changed. I hadn't wanted them to, but they had. And we just had to deal with it.
Some things are best kept secret.
When we were about half-way through the movie, and chicken, Shawn said he should probably get back to work. He dapped Keivan up and I walked him to the door.
While he was putting on his shoes, I could tell he was a little mad. He had that mischievous, I-need-to-displace-my-anger look in his eyes, that I knew all too well.
“So you just use me for chicken?”
I was a little thrown off by his question, but realized he was joking. Mostly.
A smirk lit my face. “Obviously. Why else would I have befriended you eight years before you got the job?”
His straight, white teeth peeked out from behind his lips. “I knew it. This was your plot all along. And you know what DeLillo says about plots: they all lead to death.”
I laughed and mushed his forehead at the reference. A love for literature was just one of the things we had in common.
“See ya, Nia,” Shawn smiles, walking out the door.
“Bye, Shawn.”
I sat back down next to Keivan after locking the front door.
He looked over at me. “Shawn's cool as shit.”
I nodded. “Yea, I know.”
“Are you two alright? You're usually joking on each other like 24/7 and making references I'm too stupid to understand.”
Although Keivan's kind of a lazy jock, he can be pretty intuitive when he pays attention. It reminds me of our mom so much.
I shrug, not turning away from the movie. “You're not stupid. And me and Shawn are cool.”
He doesn't say anything else.
God, I miss Shawn so much.
“Iight, we be back, Ma,” Lonnie called to Aunt Lucille.
I followed him as we walked out of the house.
“I'm hungry, bro,” I mumbled to my cousin.
He nodded. “Me too. We'll get something to eat at the outlets, cous.”
“We going to see Sylia?” I smirked.
Lonnie rolled his eyes dramatically. “No. I don't like that girl.”
“Oh, yea? Your subconscious says otherwise, dreaming about telling her how much you love her, Mr. Sleeptalker.”
He scowled at me, embarrassed.
“It's cool if you like a big girl, man. Seriously, you get major respect for not being a shallow pig like most guys. You should embrace it, bro.”
Lonnie's lips twitched in a surpressed smile. “Whatever.”
Fifteen blocks later, we arrive at the AC outlet mall. It wasn’t the first time we’d made the trek and I knew it wouldn't be the last. But walks like that are what made my trips to Atlantic City so fun.
He opened the door to Gap for me.
Lonnie walked over to a brown-skinned guy with a bright smile. “Hey, Devan.”
The guy gave him a backwards nod. “Ey, man.” His glowing brown eyes met mine. “Hi, Nia.”
I smiled back at Devan, my heart thumping.
I’d known Devan since I was nine, the last time I’d gone to visit my aunt Lucille and cousin Marlon for the summer. He was nice and sweet and caring and I’d had a crush on him since the first time we’d met. It hadn’t gone away in the last nine years either, even though he now had a fiancé and son.
“When you get off?” Lonnie asked, picking up a blue t-shirt and holding it to his chest before lying it back down, unfolded. Devan glanced at it.
“Uh, ten minutes,” he replied, refolding the tee.
“Alright, we’ll wait. Time to celebrate your birthday, boy.”
Devan's mouth lifts a little in a half smile that warms my heart.
I had no idea how cold my heart would get.
“Got popcorn. We don't have any chips.”
I nodded, reaching my hand into the bowl of carmelcorn my brother had.
“Marlon called for you earlier.”
I glanced over at Keivan. “Mhm.”
“He wanted to know how you're 'handling things'.” Keiv looked at me with careful eyes, as if he expected me to break down at any moment.
“Lonnie.”
Keiv raised an eyebrow in question.
“You always call him Marlon. It's Lonnie.”
Keivan rolls his eyes. “Well, I haven't spent as much time with him like you have. Aunt Lucille doesn't exactly invite me to stay for the summer.”
“You broke her chandelier, Keiv.”
“It was an accident! I was five!”
I laugh a bit. “Then you broke her neighbor's window.”
“I was only like seven. And she shouldn't even know about that.”
“Yea, 'cause you lied to the cops. I bet they're still looking for that guy with the black beard and one arm.”
Keiv smirked. “Shut up.”
I punched him in the arm and he reciprocated by poking my side.
“No! Keivan!”
This initiated a poke war, but after a minute, we were laughing too hard to continue.
“You should call Shawn and get some chicken,” Keiv mumbled, knealing in front of the TV to find a movie.
My body stilled at my best friend's name. Or ex best friend. I'm not even really sure what we were anymore. I craved to be the way we were.
“You're right.”
“Hey, brah,” I heard Keivan greet. Shawn followed him into the living room with our food. He smiled brightly at me.
“Nia-Niaaa! What's up, girl?”
I laughed. “Hey, Shawn-Shawn. Working hard, I see.”
He gave a lopsided grin as he flopped down on the couch beside me. “Always. Grindin' for the fam.”
I rolled my eyes as he took the bowl of popcorn from me and started devouring it. Keivan set the chicken on the coffee table and dug in as well.
Boys.
I went to the kitchen and grabbed some plates for the food.
“Bruh, he totally took my nigga down, hard. It was a'ight though, 'cause e'rybody know Rod's ego could use a couple hits,” Keiv laughed and Shawn chuckled along with him.
“Man, that's Markus for you. He's always ready to take an arrogant jackass down a couple notches,” Shawn replied.
That was definitely true. Markus was Shawn's other best friend and therefore, consequently, mine and he hated arrogance more than anything. He was a tall, dark, African jokester, whose parents had come from the poorest part of Tanzania and made bank as doctors when they got here. Needless to say, he was the richest in our group of friends.
“I hope he keeps it up. It definitely makes wrestling practice more fun.”
Shawn looked at my little brother with interest. “When's your next match?”
Keivan glanced at the TV, pressing play on the remote for whatever movie he put in.
“Um, I think next Friday.”
Shawn nodded as This Christmas showed on the TV. I don't know why I hadn't guessed that's what we were watching. It was Keivan's favorite movie.
They both focused on the screen. My mind was racing though.
I used to love when Shawn would join me and my brother for movie nights, but now it felt so different. I hated having to tiptoe around him in my own home, and I hated the way he looked at me with so much hurt in those dark eyes. Everything was off balance in my life and I was steady trying to find some equilibrium.
Shawn and I were always joined at the hip. Since 5th grade, from the moment we met, we'd just had this insane understanding of each other that no one else could fathom. It was kinda scary at certain points, but when I lost my mom and his dad died, we were right there for each other. When I was trying to hold it together for my dad and little brother, he was the only one I could open up and cry to. He was the one who never told me to shut up with the stories about my mom, the memories of what kind of woman she was and how much I hoped to someday be like her. He was my rock in that sad time and I, unfortunately, returned the favor a year later.
Yet in that moment, I could barely look at him without wanting to throw up at all the emotions trapped inside my body. Things had changed. I hadn't wanted them to, but they had. And we just had to deal with it.
Some things are best kept secret.
When we were about half-way through the movie, and chicken, Shawn said he should probably get back to work. He dapped Keivan up and I walked him to the door.
While he was putting on his shoes, I could tell he was a little mad. He had that mischievous, I-need-to-displace-my-anger look in his eyes, that I knew all too well.
“So you just use me for chicken?”
I was a little thrown off by his question, but realized he was joking. Mostly.
A smirk lit my face. “Obviously. Why else would I have befriended you eight years before you got the job?”
His straight, white teeth peeked out from behind his lips. “I knew it. This was your plot all along. And you know what DeLillo says about plots: they all lead to death.”
I laughed and mushed his forehead at the reference. A love for literature was just one of the things we had in common.
“See ya, Nia,” Shawn smiles, walking out the door.
“Bye, Shawn.”
I sat back down next to Keivan after locking the front door.
He looked over at me. “Shawn's cool as shit.”
I nodded. “Yea, I know.”
“Are you two alright? You're usually joking on each other like 24/7 and making references I'm too stupid to understand.”
Although Keivan's kind of a lazy jock, he can be pretty intuitive when he pays attention. It reminds me of our mom so much.
I shrug, not turning away from the movie. “You're not stupid. And me and Shawn are cool.”
He doesn't say anything else.
God, I miss Shawn so much.
♠ ♠ ♠
Edited.