I'm Not Strong Enough to Stay Away

When I woke up, I felt like something was missing. I instinctively reached out to Sam, only to discover that he was no longer there. 'Oh. That explains it.'

The second it sank in that he was gone, all of my dark thoughts began seeping back into my head.
They were going after Pestilence, so that meant only Death was left. Our time was up. Once they got Death’s ring, Sam would carry out his plan, no matter what Dean said or did, and he would be gone forever. Even though I knew he would come back to say goodbye, there was already an ache in my chest whenever he was any distance away from me. 'That’s great. I’m already losing it.'

“Dean?” Ella called suddenly, her baby voice thick with sleep, jolting me out of my thoughts.

“They’re gone, Elle,” I told her, opening my eyes and staring at her across the dark room.

“Oh,” she said sadly. She sat up and rubbed her eyes tiredly. “They didn’t even say goodbye…”

I got up and went over to her, sitting down on the bed and hugging her tightly. “They probably just didn’t wanna cause a scene. You know we always throw bitch fits when they leave,” I said as I petted her hair soothingly. “Besides, they’ll be back,” I added with more confidence than I felt. “They always come back. We’re just too irresistible.”

“I know,” Ella said quietly, my futile attempt at humor completely ignored. “But what if they don’t?
Ya know they’re not gonna let us help them with Lucifer. They’re gonna be out there all alone. How’re they s’posed to fight him and live? What if they don’t come back?”

I didn’t reply, unable to answer her question. 'No, Dean has a chance,' I wanted to say, 'but Sam doesn’t.' I wanted to tell her so badly, but I knew that she would tell Dean, and Sam didn’t want him to know yet.

“Gari, what’re you hidin’ from me?” she asked, and I froze.

“Nothing, babe,” I lied quickly.

She sat up and stared at me, cocking an eyebrow skeptically. “Yeah, right. I know ya better than anyone. I can tell when you’re not tellin’ me somethin’. You and Sam are keepin’ secrets.”

I stared back at her, searching my mind wildly for some bullshit story to tell her, but coming up with nothing. “You can’t tell Dean.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. 'That’s a promising start. Copy Sam’s words from when he told you. ‘Cause you took it so well.'

She hesitated, then nodded slowly. “Alright,” she said finally. “You’re the only one who could make me keep secrets from him, y’know.”

I nodded. “I know. And I’m sorry I’m making you. But I’m not supposed to say anything, either. In fact, Sam would probably kill me if he knew I told you.”

Ella giggled a little, then became serious at the distraught look on my face. “They’re going after Horsemen. The rings that give the Horsemen their power can be used together to reopen Lucifer’s cage in Hell.”

Ella looked shocked, but she just said, “Okay. Suicide mission. Okay.” She squeezed her eyes shut for a minute, trying not to cry. “So what’s the secret?” she continued shakily.

I bit my lip in hesitation. 'He’s gonna kill me, I thought. But technically, I only promised not to tell Dean. Fuck, he’s gonna kill me.'

“Sam is gonna say yes to Lucifer,” I said at last.

“Do what?!” Ella exclaimed, her eyes wide with disbelief and terror.

“He’s gonna gain control, and he’s gonna jump in.”

“D’you really think he’s str—?”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence!” I snapped angrily. “He is completely strong enough. I have all the faith in the world in him. He can definitely do this.”

Ella stared at me for a long time, and finally my fierce defensiveness faded and I closed my eyes.

“So he’s gonna sacrifice himself to save the world?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah.”

“And he hasn’t told Dean yet?”

“Nope.”

“And ya really think it’ll work?”

“Yeah, Elle, I do,” I answered, finally looking back up at her. “And so does he. With this plan, we have a chance.”

“So… so when I was freakin’ out about them not comin’ back…?” She trailed off, sounding guilty and uncomfortable.

“Yeah, he won’t,” I said with a nod. For some reason, no tears formed in my eyes. I was devastated beyond belief, but I guess I had worried and cried over it so much that I just couldn’t anymore. “This time, yeah, but next time…”

“Gari,” she said plaintively, hugging me close to her. I could feel her tears spilling onto my shoulder. “I didn’t mean to—I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay, babe,” I replied softly. “You didn’t know. But Dean will come back. Lucifer knows that Sam will never say yes if Dean dies. He’ll live.” 'But Sam won’t.'

“What’re ya gonna do?” she asked me, sniffling. “When Sam’s gone? How will ya—?”

“Cope?” I finished for her. “I’m not totally sure, Elle,” I said, and it was partially true. “But, y’know, I’ll manage. I always do.” I bit my lip again, for this time, tears started brimming in my eyes.

“Are you still tired?” I asked. “It’s 6:00 a.m.; we can sleep some more.”

“I dunno if I can,” she mumbled, her voice muffled by tears and the fact that her face was still buried in my hair.

“Sure you can,” I said, making her lie down and laying her head on my shoulder. “We can stay in town a little while longer, if you want.”

“No, I wanna go. This place brings back too many memories. I feel… shadows.”

“Shadows?” I asked, immediately catching on to her reference.

“Ghosts,” she replied with a sigh as she closed her eyes. “Hey, Gari?”

“Yeah, Elle?”

“Ya remember that night Dad was gone on a hunt and he left us alone in that motel room and I had a nightmare ‘bout Milla?”

I recalled the night perfectly, down to the fact that she was wearing her old Beatles t-shirt and her Pink Panther pajama pants. The shirt was still in the bottom of her suitcase. I’d caught her sleeping with it after Greg died.

“Yeah, Elle, what about it?”

“Will ya sing me a lullaby, like ya did then?” She sounded nervous asking me, but I didn’t know why. I’d do anything to make her feel better.

“Sure, Elle,” I said, kissing her forehead, my own voice cracking a little as I picked up on the devastation in her innocent voice. “'Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now, it looks as though they’re here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday...'”

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

“Yeah, Jess, it’s safe now,” Ella said into her cell phone. “Yeah, we caught him. No, tell Dev it wasn’t a ghost; don’t get her hopes up. ‘Kay, I’ll try to come back soon. I’ll miss y’all, too.” I motioned for her to hand me the phone, and she said, “Hey, Jess, Gari wants the phone.”

I took the device and put it to my ear, saying, “Hey, Jess, can I talk to Devon? I have to ask her something.”

“Sure,” Jess said.

“Gari? It’s Devon!” The older sister sounded super excited to hear from me, and I smiled warmly into the phone.

“Hey, Dev, I gotta ask you something.”

“Sure, anything!”

“Those Supernatural books… What are they about?”

That particular subject had been bothering me since we first heard about the books from the sisters and saw Sam and Dean’s reaction. Sam had confirmed that the books were about them and said he would tell me more about them later, but he hadn’t yet.

“Oh, it’s about these two brothers who travel the country hunting supernatural creatures,” Devon replied happily. “They take place over about three years. The first year is mainly about finding their father, the second deals with Sam’s psychic powers, and the third deals with the year leading up to Dean going to Hell. Carver Edlund may not be the best writer, but he’s a freaking genius! I’ve read the series about a million times, and I never get tired of it! I still cry every time one of them dies, too!”

“Wait, what?” I asked, surprised. Castiel had told Ella and me that the boys had died before, but I had been skeptical. And when Devon had said that Dean went to Hell, it didn’t really register with me at first. “If they die, shouldn’t the series end?”

“Oh, no,” Devon said matter-of-factly. “They sell their souls for each other to bring the other back—well, Dean did for Sam. I dunno what Sam is gonna do to get Dean outta Hell, seeing as Edlund stopped writing. It’s kinda complicated to explain.” 'Yes, Sam and Dean have a lot to tell us about…'

“I love them so much that I’ve got two copies of each!” Devon rambled. “One hardback and one paperback! If you want to, you can borrow the paperback copies!”

“Y’know, thanks, but I’m a bit too busy for reading right now,” I said. “But maybe I’ll go out and buy them when I get the chance.”

“Sounds great!” Devon exclaimed. “They’re little-known, so they’re kinda hard to find. I got mine online. And don’t let the low popularity fool you—not many people know about them, but the people who do are the most loyal followers since Star Wars!”

“Thanks, Dev,” I laughed. “I’ll try to find them.”

“Okay! Get in touch with me if you do! I wanna know what you think!”

“Sure. I’ll give the phone to Ella now. Nice meeting you, Devon.”

“You, too!” she said as I passed the phone back to Ella.

“Dev, yeah, it’s me,” Ella said with a smile. “Course I will! I said I would, didn’t I? I know, I’m gonna miss ya, too! Alright, bye, Dev!” Ella hung up the phone and looked at me, bittersweet emotion in her eyes. “I really am gonna miss them,” she told me.

“I know,” I said. “We’ll come back someday. Sooner than twelve years from now.”

Ella giggled and nodded. “Good!” She looked around the room, apparently feeling the lack of the boys’ presence as much as I was. “Ya wanna go now?”

“Yeah, I’m tired of this room. It’s too lonely.”

“Yeah, it is.”

Just then, my phone rang. “Hello?” I said into the mouthpiece.

“Gari?”

“Dean? Why are you calling me? Ella’s phone is on.” Ella stared at me, eyes wide with confusion, and I returned the look. 'It’s gotta be about Sam.'

There was a slight hesitation on the other end. “It’s Sam,” Dean said, confirming my theory.

“Yeah, what about him?” I asked, careful to keep my voice as neutral as possible, knowing that if I started to freak out without even knowing what was wrong, I wouldn’t be able to calm down.

“It’s… ah… Look, I’ll give you the details when you get here,” he rushed out. “Just… just hurry up and get here.”

“Get where, Dean? What’s going on?”

“Did you really have to call the witch?” I heard a bored voice say. Whoever it was had an accent that sounded like a cross between British and Scottish.

“Who’s that?” I asked, somehow knowing the answer before he said it.

“Um, that’s Crowley,” Dean said, sounding uncomfortable. “Y’know, the demon who—”

“Yeah, I know,” I interrupted. “Just tell me where to meet you, and we’ll be there as soon as possible. And Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t be planning something that could potentially jeopardize your brother’s sanity. ‘Cause if you are, I will not hesitate to kick your ass.”

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

Ella and I arrived at the destination before Dean.

Honestly, I had no clue where we were. After about five minutes of listening to Crowley and Dean argue over the best way to get to a certain one of Crowley's hideouts, I had passed the phone to Ella. (I had never been all that great with directions.)

She had then insisted that, instead of hitchhiking, we should steal a car so we could set our own desired pace. It was a very inconspicuous black Toyota Camry, and we had taken it from a used car sale lot, so technically, it didn’t belong to anyone.

I jumped out of the car before it came to a full stop and jetted to the door of the abandoned house.

I hammered on the door vigorously until Sam opened it, a look of shock on his face. “Gari?” he said confusedly. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ll let you know when I do,” I replied, pushing my way past him inside the building. It was pretty decrepit, which surprised me. Demons were usually a little fancy, and what little I knew about Crowley made me expect something much better from him. “All I know is Dean called and told me and Ella he’d meet us here soon.” I followed Sam up the stairs and leaned against the wall.

“Why’re y’all workin’ with Crowley?” Ella called as she entered the house. She joined us in the room and looked at Sam curiously. “He’s the one who got Ellen and Jo killed, ain’t he? How’re y’all trustin’ him?”

“We’re not trusting him,” Sam said adamantly. “We’re just using him. He’s our last hope at getting the Horsemen rings.”

“And why is Dean with him and you’re here alone?” I asked.

Sam sighed in frustration. “Apparently, he doesn’t like me or trust me and he’s tired of me always trying to kill him.” He ticked the points off on his fingers, then ran a hand through his hair. “Well, I can’t say I blame him.”

I laughed a little, coaxing a reluctant half-smile from him. “How long have you been waiting?”

“I dunno. A few hours, I guess. Feels like years.”

“He’ll make it back, alright? Stop worrying so much,” I assured him with more conviction than I felt.

Suddenly, we heard the roar of the Impala and all jumped to our feet. “He’s back!” Ella exclaimed, relief flooding her features.

“Told you so,” I shot at Sam, and he grinned.

We all went back downstairs into a side room and saw who could only have been Crowley. “Ah, so the little witch is here,” the demon said, giving me a once-over with contempt-filled eyes.

He completely ignored Ella, instead smirking at me in a way that clearly stated that he knew something I didn’t. I felt the slightest bit of panic, but dismissed it quickly, reasoning, 'There’s probably a hell of a lot of things he knows that I don’t. It doesn’t mean it’s personal.' But the way he looked at me felt personal.

Sam’s eyes darted to me for a split second, then he looked back at Crowley. “Where’s Dean?” he asked.

“Now…” Crowley said, “for the record, I’m against this. Negotiating a high-level defection—It’s very delicate business.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I begged Dean not to come back. We should be miles away… from you,” the demon said, and I wondered if he could ever answer a straight question. “He replied with a colorful rejoinder about my ‘corn chute.’” Sam scoffed, and Crowley continued. “So, go ahead. Go—ruin our last, best hope. It’s only the end of the world.”

Sam pushed past Crowley to get back to the main room of the house, and Ella and I followed. Ella let out a small sigh of relief when she saw Dean, and if he hadn’t been in the process of tying a hooded someone to a chair, I knew she would’ve attacked him with one of her spine-crushing hugs.

Dean looked up and saw us standing there. He nodded at me, in what seemed to be a grateful way. Why he was thanking me, I didn’t know, but I smiled the slightest bit in acknowledgement.

“Sam,” he said as he laid eyes on his brother. His tone was wary, and I had a sinking feeling that whoever was under that hood was the reason he had called me.

“What’s going on, Dean?” Sam asked, staring at the hooded figure in confusion.

“I need you to stay on mission, okay? Focused.”

“I don’t understand.” Sam looked at his brother, seeking an explanation. “What’s all this about?”

“I’m doing this ‘cause I trust you.”

“Trust me to what?”
“Sam?” the hooded figure said, sounding gleeful. He cleared his throat loudly. “Sam, is that you?”

Dean grabbed the hood as if to pull it off. He hesitated for a second, and when he resumed, I almost stepped forward to stop him.

Underneath was a normal guy, just very beaten and bloodied. 'A demon,' I concluded. 'I don’t get it. What’s the big deal? We see demons all the time.'

“Brady?!” Sam gasped, eyes wide with disbelief. Dean watched his brother closely, seeming to be expecting Sam to do something insane. 'Oh. Sam knows him. Of course. We cannot catch a break.'

The demon called Brady chuckled, and a sinister grin crossed his face. “Brady hasn’t been Brady in years. Not since… oh, middle of our sophomore year?”

“What?!” Sam said sharply, and I detected the slightest tremor in his voice, a sign that he was barely holding back a raging fury. 'This is about more than just his friend being a demon…'

“That’s right,” Brady said, the grin growing with every second. “You had a devil on your shoulder even back then. Alright, now, let it all sink in.” Brady watched Sam expectantly, cruel anticipation etched on every line of his bruised face.

“You son of a bitch,” Sam hissed, some sort of realization dawning on him. “You son of a bitch!” He advanced on Brady, but Dean stepped in and held him back. “You introduced me to Jess!” 'Jess… his girlfriend. The one that… Oh, God.'

Brady cackled, and the sound of his maniacal enjoyment filled the air. “Ding, ding! I think he’s got it!”

Sam struggled to get past Dean, but Dean was doing an excellent job of holding the larger man at bay. “Dammit, Sam!” Dean said, his voice strained from effort.

“I’m gonna kill you!” Sam snarled at Brady, but the demon just grinned and laughed.

Dean pushed Sam out of the room and finally released him, but made sure to block the doorway.

“Sammy…” I said slowly, reaching out to him, but he shied away from me, looking disgusted and enraged at the very thought of me touching him.

My eyes stung and I blinked rapidly to keep the tears at bay. I had never seen anything as frightening as the anger in Sam’s eyes, eyes that were normally so gentle and caring, and even though I knew I wasn’t the cause of it, at the moment, that fury was directed at me.

“Back off, Gari,” Dean warned quietly, and my hand numbly dropped to my side. Ella took my hand and pulled me out of the boys’ battleground.

“Get out of my way!” Sam demanded, moving toward his brother.

“No,” Dean said, striving to keep his voice calm.

“Get out of my way, Dean,” Sam repeated.

“There is only one way to win, and it ain’t by killing that thing in there,” Dean tried to reason.

Sam opened his mouth angrily to reply, but Crowley appeared and Sam closed his mouth. “Well, sounds like you’ve got him nice and fluffed,” the upper-class demon said, sounding annoyed. “Thanks so much.” He walked into the room with Brady and began to try his own approach.

“Listen to me,” Dean said forcefully, and Sam reluctantly looked him in the eyes. “We need Pestilence to get at the Devil, and we need Brady to get to Pestilence.”

“Why?!” Sam snapped. “Because Crowley said so? Because we trust him now? Like I trusted Ruby? Or like I trusted Brady back at school?” He shook his head, a twisted, mirthless smile playing on his lips. “You’re such a hypocrite, Dean. You’re trusting a demon! The goddamn King of the Crossroads!”

“Well, what choice do we have?!” Dean shot back, finally getting mad. “We got nothing, Sam. Nothing. Crowley is the only advantage we got, and I’m gonna use him.”

“Whatever, man,” Sam said, turning away and storming up the stairs.

Ella and I stared at Dean, and he turned and met my eye. “He’s just pissed,” he told me. “Just let him cool down. Go up there and check on him. You too, Elle.”

We went up the stairs right as Crowley came back into the room. He threw a snarky comment at Dean, but I didn't catch what he said.

“Hey, it’s fine,” Ella said, squeezing my hand reassuringly. “He was only mad at Brady. He didn’t know what he was doin’.”

“I know,” I said softly.

“Gari?”

I spun around to face Sam, looking up into his eyes, which were now filled with regret. “Yeah, Sammy?”

“I’m gonna leave y’all alone,” Ella said quietly and she backed down the hallway.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said once she was gone.

“I know. It was nothing.”

“Don’t say that,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I freaked. And I scared you. So yeah, it’s something.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said emotionlessly.

Truthfully, I was still scared. I’d seen him angry before—and a lot of times it was because of me—but never had I seen that much raw hatred come from him. I had never been so terrified in my life, and that paralyzing fear had been caused by the man I loved. “Are you okay?” I asked him, trying to take the focus off of me.

“Am I—?” He laughed disbelievingly. “Seriously?” I gazed back at him, waiting for his reply. He laughed again. “No, honestly, I’m not. I see what you did there, by the way.”

“What d’you mean?”

“Changing the focus.” 'Dammit.' “I’m gonna make it up to you. I don’t want you to be scared of me.”

He looked down at me with those puppy dog eyes and I knew he’d stay true to his word. He really would do whatever it took to make up for scaring me. He just didn’t know that I had already forgiven him, and I was slightly intrigued by the prospect of seeing just how far he would go. But I decided to put an end to his regret right then.

I rose up on my tiptoes and kissed him softly. “You don’t have to make anything up to me, okay?” I said. “I forgive you completely.”

He smiled, but it faltered. “Can you stay up here for like five minutes?” he asked, suddenly urgent. I stared at him for a moment, then nodded. “No matter what you hear, don’t come downstairs. And keep Ella up here, too.”

“Sam, what are you—?”

“I’m not gonna kill him,” he promised. “I just need to hear the story from him.”

“Alright,” I said reluctantly, and he turned and went down the stairs.

A second later, I heard Dean calling Sam’s name and beating on a door. Then he started calling mine and Ella’s names, too. I glanced back at the room Ella was in. The door was closed, and I would bet that she was listening to the iPod. I wouldn’t have to worry about her. After a few minutes of deliberating, I crept down the stairs to listen to what Sam and Brady were saying.

“…our favorite.” Brady was talking. “So I hooked you up with a pure, sweet, innocent piece of tail.” 'Jess?' “And then I toasted her on the ceiling.” He paused, presumably at some reaction from Sam. “That’s right—Azazel might’ve put the hit out on Jessica, but, man, I got to have all the fun!”

I peeked around the corner and saw that Sam was holding the knife that could kill demons. His hand twitched around it as Brady finished the sentence, and if Brady noticed, he either didn’t care or was a very good actor.

The demon laughed. “Y’know, she thought we were friends, too. Let me right in. She was baking cookies.” He let out another laugh and I saw Sam’s shoulders tense up even more. “She was so surprised… so hurt when I started in on her.”

Sam remained silent, instead choosing to respond by pressing the knife against Brady’s throat.

“C’mon!” Brady coaxed mockingly. “Do it if it’ll make you feel better!” I heard the slightest intake of breath and knew that Sam had merely nicked the demon. “Do it, Sammy!” Brady continued. “Do it! C’mon! C’mon!” He laughed again, then sighed happily.

Sam stood up and left the room, to my surprise. Brady just watched him, an amused look in his eyes.

“Gari, I know you’re there,” Sam said, sounding tired.

I came out of hiding and shrugged apologetically. “I got curious,” I said guiltily. “You know how nosy I am.” Sam grinned slightly and rolled his eyes.

“Well, looks like you got a new plaything, Sammy boy,” Brady called, and we both spun to face him. “I must say, I think I like this one better. She looks like she’s got some fight in her. I like ‘em feisty. You do have a thing for blondes, though, don’t you?” he teased.

Sam made a low, growling noise in the back of his throat and started over to Brady again.

I reached out and grabbed his arm in an attempt to hold him back. “Let it go, Sammy,” I said as soothingly as I could manage through my anger. 'That bastard better be glad it’s not up to me what we do with him.' Sam relaxed slightly and exhaled deeply through his nose. “Just let it go,” I repeated.

“Yeah, Sammy, let it go,” Brady echoed.

“Shut up, dickhead,” I spat at him, and I slung out my hand and clenched my fist, imagining the demon smoke being balled up inside of it.

Brady choked a little and swallowed roughly. I released him after a minute. “Bitch,” he coughed.

“You’ll have to do better than that,” I retorted smoothly. Just then, Dean resumed banging on the door. “Maybe you should let him out now?” I suggested to Sam, and he nodded.

Dean began to pound on the door more forcefully. “Hey, hey, hey!” Sam said quickly. “Alright! Wait! I’m gonna open it!”

A second later, Dean stumbled out, looking majorly pissed off. “What happened?” he snapped.

“Nothing,” Sam said.

“My ass,” Dean scoffed, then he turned to me. “What happened?”

Sam stared at me pleadingly. 'Yeah, I know. I was gonna lie already, Sammy. Gah, you’d think he’d know how I work by now.'

“Seriously, nothing happened,” I lied. “Just a douchebag demon being a douchebag demon and talking in circles.”

Dean cocked an eyebrow disbelievingly. “Dean, I’m fine,” Sam assured his older brother.

“Yeah? And what about Brady?” Dean asked skeptically.

Sam sighed. “Like you said… we need him.”

“Good, now that’s settled, what do we do with him?” I asked.

“Leave that to me,” Crowley said, appearing suddenly in the room. “Oh, and Garideth, we really need to talk. I have some information I believe you’ll find quite… ah… interesting.” With a smug glance at me, he turned his back and walked into the other room.

“You have any idea what he’s talking about?” Dean asked.

“Not in the slightest.”

'Crowley’s been dropping hints this whole time that he knows something about me. But what could it be? I already know every weird thing there is to know about me. There can’t be something else, can there?'

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

Ella and I were sitting in the upstairs room when we heard the howl.

We shared panicked looks, neither of us having any clue what it was, but both of us knowing that it couldn’t be good. Without a word to each other, we sprinted down the stairs, arriving right as something busted through the kitchen window.

“What the fuck is that?!” I shrieked, staring at the grossly deformed creature. It was dog-like in a way, but the features were marred by bloody tatters of flesh and tissue hanging off in rivulets. A sort of darkness surrounded it, making its already horrific features look even more grotesque.

“Hellhound!” Sam yelled, firing a shot at the creature but missing completely. He suddenly stopped and stared at me. “Can you—can you see it?!”

“Of course I can see it, Sammy, it’s right there in front of you!” I yelped. “What, you can’t?!”

“No! No one but angels and demons can!” 'Oh, yay. Another abnormality.' “Tell me where it is!” Sam ordered.

“Just gimme the fucking gun!” I snapped, jerking it from his hands and firing two shots into the hellhound’s massive skull. It shook its head back and forth a few times, then snarled, even angrier than before. “How d’you kill it?!”

“You don’t!”

“Well, that’s promising,” I said darkly. “Ella, go help Dean. I’ll keep it distracted. Just stay on the wall, okay?” Ella nodded once and did as I said. I fired at the beast again, but it was barely fazed.

Suddenly, I caught sight of another one. I had thought the first one was big, but it was nothing compared to this one. Had it been beside me, it would’ve come up to my shoulder, maybe higher. I felt the color drain from my face as the possibility that we would not make it out of there alive dawned on me.

Sam noticed. “What?!” he prompted urgently. “What is it?!”

“He’s got a friend…” I choked out, and Sam froze.
“How big?!”

“Colossal. We are doomed. Nice knowing you, Sammy.” Sam stared at me bewilderedly, trying to decide if I was serious or not. (And honestly, I was trying to figure that out, too.)

A call of “Sic him, boy!” sounded through the house and the gigantic hellhound pounced on the smaller one. Crowley, Dean, and Ella skirted around the fighting monsters and ran toward us.

“It belongs to you?!” I exclaimed, and Crowley smirked at me and shoved me forward.

Dean grabbed Brady—who I had completely forgotten about—by the sleeve and dragged him toward the exit, pushing Ella in front of him. “Go, go, go, go!” he urged.

Once we were safely outside, Crowley turned around to face the house and, with his trademark smug grin, said, “I’ll wager one thousand my pup wins.”

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

The alley made me feel like I was in some kind of mob movie and we were exchanging drugs or money or something. I supposed it was a good place for our secretive business to be held.

Brady handed Crowley a folded up piece of paper and said, “Yeah, I’m sure Pestilence will be there.”

Dean looked at Crowley for confirmation. “What do you think?” he asked.

“It’s good,” he told Dean, then he turned back to Brady. “You’ve got no reason to lie, have you? Like I said before, you’re in my boat now.”

“You’ve screwed me,” Brady said angrily, “for eternity.”

“Nah, won’t last that long. Trust me.”

“You okay, Sammy?” I asked, feeling him fidget beside me. Giving his hand a small squeeze, I looked up at him and saw something like anticipation on his face. He nodded slightly, but didn’t say anything, never once taking his eyes off of Brady.

“Where are you going?” Brady called, sounding confused, as Dean and Crowley walked past us to stand beside Ella.

“Gari, c’mon,” Dean said, and I looked back behind me to see that he was putting down a salt line.

“What are you—?” I began, but Crowley broke in.

“I’m going to do you a favor," he said to Brady, his smirk growing. He then looked to Sam and me. "I expect we’ll be in touch.” He grinned at Sam, then disappeared.

“Gari, c’mon,” Dean repeated, and I suddenly got it.

Sam released my hand and I took a small, reluctant step back, then turned and joined Dean and Ella on the other side of the salt line.

“What is this?” Brady asked, the slightest tremor in his voice.

Dean laughed mirthlessly. “All those angels, all those demons, all those sons of bitches—they just don’t get it, do they, Sammy?”

“No, they don’t, Dean,” Sam replied, sounding faintly amused, and I looked down and saw the glint of a knife in his hand.

“You see, Brady…” Dean said, a small smirk on his lips, “we’re the ones you should be afraid of.”

Brady scoffed, but it was cut off slightly when the demon-killing knife came into full view in Sam’s hand. “I bet this is a real moment for you, big boy,” he said, striving desperately for the nonchalant, mocking tone he normally possessed, but it was tainted with fear. “Gonna make you feel all better?”

“It’s a start,” Sam said, nodding slightly in agreement.

Brady continued to talk, beginning to ramble out of fear. “Gonna make up for all the times we yanked your chain—Yellow-Eyes, Ruby, me? Hell, even your little bitch over there has demon blood in her!” I felt Dean and Ella stare at me, but I pointedly kept my eyes on Sam and Brady. “But it wasn’t all our fault, was it? No, no, no, no. You’re the one who trusted us. You’re the one who let us into your life, let us whisper in your ear over and over and over again.”

I didn’t like where this was going. Brady may have been rambling, but he still knew what he was doing. He knew what to say to piss Sam off the most, to make him dwell on it long after it had been said.

“Ever wonder why that is, Sammy?” the demon continued. “Ever wonder why we were so in your blind spot? Maybe it’s because we got the same stuff in our veins and, deep down, you know you’re just like us.” He lunged at Sam, but Sam dodged easily, bringing the blade up to nick Brady just a little. “Aaah!” Brady panted. “Maybe you hate us so much because you hate what you see every time you look in the mirror. You ever think of that?” He laughed mockingly. “Maybe the only difference between you and a demon… is your Hell is right here.”

Brady grinned, looking extremely triumphant, then, before he could react, Sam grabbed him and drove the knife into his stomach, shoving it deeper and deeper as Brady’s body sparked with an orange glow that fizzled out after a minute.

Sam dropped the body and wiped the blade off on his jacket, glaring down at the body with disdain. “Interesting theory,” he said, his voice sounding uncharacteristically emotionless. Without looking at any of us, he turned and walked out of the alley.

Dean and I looked at each other, and I was almost positive that the fear and worry in his eyes was echoed all over my face.

“What d’we do now?” Ella asked plaintively.

Neither of us answered.