I'm Not Strong Enough to Stay Away

Sam had finally decided it was time to tell Dean about his plan, and it was not going well.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Dean yelped, and Ella placed her hand on his arm comfortingly.

“Dean—” Sam tried.

“No, don’t ‘Dean’ me. I mean, you… You’ve had some stupid ideas in the past, but this…” Dean glanced at Bobby, then at me. I looked at the floor guiltily. “D—did you two know about this?”

“About what?” I asked innocently.

“About Sam’s genius plan to cram the Devil down his throat!”

“Um… kinda?” I said meekly, and Bobby just nodded. I was about to tell him that Ella did, too, but I couldn’t cause him to be angry at her, even if it would take the focus off of me.

“Well, thanks for the heads up!” Dean snapped.

“Hey, this ain’t about us,” Bobby said defensively.

Dean glared at the older hunter for a minute, then turned back to his brother. “You can’t do this.”

Sam sighed. “That’s the consensus.”

“No, it isn’t,” I contradicted fiercely, shooting daggers at Dean with my eyes. “He can do this, Dean, and you know it. You’re just too scared to admit it.”

Dean opened his mouth angrily to reply, but his phone rang suddenly. “This isn’t over,” he said, then he lifted it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Thank you,” Sam mouthed at me, and I smiled slightly in acknowledgement.

“Cas?” Dean said, sounding immensely relieved.

“Cas?” Ella and I echoed hopefully.

“Is he okay?” Sam asked.

Dean shrugged. “We all thought you were dead,” he said into the phone. “Where the hell are you, man?”

We all waited impatiently while Dean talked to the angel—Ella was twirling her hair around her finger, I was jingling the bells of my hunter’s bracelet like always, Bobby was tapping his foot, and Sam was watching, just watching.

“Alright,” Dean said. “Well, look, no worries. Uh, Bobby’s here. He’ll wire you the cash.”

“I will?” Bobby asked, and Dean gave him a reproachful look, then continued talking.

He hung up after a minute and said, “Well, good news: he’s fine.”

I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my chest. Ever since I first met the angel, I’d had an immediate attachment. Something about his cluelessness and misunderstanding of humans was endearing, and when he had disappeared in Van Nuys, I was worried he was dead. Hearing he was okay was the best news we’d had in a long time.

“What’s the bad news?” Ella asked, narrowing her eyes.

Dean sighed and closed his eyes briefly. “He’s human. No smiting, no flying, nothing.”

“Oh. Well, that’s just fucking fantastic,” I said scathingly, but Dean obviously didn’t find it funny.

“Dammit, we could’ve used him,” Sam said, running a hand through his hair.

“Yeah, fighting Pestilence didn’t seem so daunting with someone who’s immune to sickness on your team, did it?” I asked, and both brothers rolled their eyes at me. “What? I’m just saying…”

“Lemme guess,” Ella said suddenly, looking at Dean. “We’re staying here.”

“That’s the plan,” he replied flatly.

“Course it is.”

“I hope you’re aware that we will not be staying behind when you go after Death,” I said seriously. “He’s the most dangerous Horseman, so you’ll need all the help you can get.”

“Gari—” Sam started, but Dean interrupted.

“No, Sammy… Maybe she’s right.”

“I know I’m right; I’m always—Wait, what?” 'Did Dean just agree with me?!'

“You’re right,” he said again. “Pestilence shouldn’t be too hard to handle compared to War and Famine, so there’s no point in you coming for this, but, honestly, now that I think about it, we should’ve taken you two with us for Famine. Probably would’ve helped, especially when it came down to actually getting the ring.”

“Or they would’ve just gotten addicted to something and been as useless as Cas,” Sam pointed out, staring at his brother in disbelief. 'Yeah, I’m just as weirded out as you, Sammy.'

“Or Gari could’ve been immune to it and could’ve stopped you from drinking demon blood,” Dean shot back.

I could tell that Sam was getting pissed, so I stepped in. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down, boys. Dean, thanks for the vote of confidence. And I mean that. But stop taking verbal swings at your brother. And Sam, just get over it. We’re going after Death together. End of discussion. Capiche?” I crossed my arms stubbornly, daring them both to say something.

Sam looked like he wanted to argue, but I glared up at him and he kept his mouth shut, to my surprise.

“So y’all better get goin’, then,” Ella said, “if ya plan on catchin’ Pestilence before he makes everyone all sick.”

“She’s right; you boys better get a move on,” Bobby agreed.

Bobby helped the boys pack up while Ella and I stood by and watched.

Once they were ready, we followed them outside. Ella threw her arms around Dean and squeezed him tight. I could tell she was trying hard not to cry. “Come back, okay?” she said quietly.

“Don’t worry, Elle,” he replied, a cocky grin on his face. “We can’t die yet; we haven’t even reached the boss fight!”

“Don’t joke like that!” she exclaimed, frowning deeply, then she buried her face in his chest again. “Ya gotta come back. Ya just gotta.”

“Hey, we will,” he assured her, all seriousness now. “Hey, you know I love you, right?”

My eyes widened in shock. 'Did he just say what I think he said?! No way! Dean Winchester… in love?'

“Yeah, I know,” Ella said, her bottom lip quivering. “Love ya, too.”

He kissed her forehead and said, “See you soon,” then pulled out of her embrace.

I was still getting over the shock of what had just happened, and apparently so was Sam, for neither of us spoke.

“You idjits better hurry it up,” Bobby said, and I nodded.

“Sammy, I just want you to know…” I began slowly.

“Yeah?”

“…if you come back with syphilis, we’re so over.”

Sam laughed and rolled his eyes. “Thanks for the concern,” he said sarcastically.

“Anytime, Sammy,” I replied with a grin. “Seriously, though. Be careful out there.”

“Always am,” he said.

“Then why d’you always get your ass kicked?”

“Oh, will you two shut up?” Bobby said agitatedly, then fixed his glare on Sam. “Get movin’, boy!”

Sam and I laughed at his gruffness. “Alright, alright, I’m going,” Sam said, putting his hands up in mock surrender.

I stood up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek lightly. “I’m serious!” I told him warningly. “No syphilis!”

He chuckled and slid his arm around my waist, bringing me closer and pressing his lips to
mine. “No syphilis,” he agreed as he pulled away.

“Have fun!” I called after the boys as they drove off, and Ella waved vigorously.

“And now we wait,” she said, then she turned and went back inside, Bobby following close behind.

I watched the dust trail left by the Impala gradually disappear, then sighed. “And now we wait.”

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

The boys were back fairly quickly, and they had Castiel with them. Ella and I had both welcomed the angel—um, human—with smothering hugs that seemed to make him extremely uncomfortable. I didn’t know why, though, considering how little respect for personal space he had.

We were currently in the process of discussing what the next move was.

“Well, it’s nice to actually score a home run for once, ain’t it?” Bobby asked, sounding hopeful, but at the look on Sam’s face, he faltered. “What?” he asked warily.

“Last thing Pestilence said: ‘It’s too late,’” Sam replied.

“What’s that mean?” Ella asked.

“I dunno.”

“We’re just a little freaked out that he might’ve left a bomb somewhere,” Dean said, worry and stress just barely coloring his voice. “So please tell us you have actual good news.”

“Chicago’s ‘bout to be wiped off the map. Storm of the millennium. Sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters. Three million people are gonna die.” We all stared at the older man in disbelief, but Cas was the first to speak up.

“I don’t understand your definition of good news,” the former angel said, and Ella and I tried to hide our grins.

“Well…” Bobby started, “Death, the Horseman—he’s gonna be there. And if we can stop him before he kick-starts this storm, get his ring back—”

“I don’t really think it’s gonna be that easy, Bobby…” I said slowly.

“Hell, I’m just tryin’ to put a spin on it.”

“Well, Bobby, how’d you put all this together, anyways?” Sam asked.

Bobby glanced at the ground, looking very guilty for some reason. “I had, y’know… help,” he said evasively.

“What d’you—”

My question was cut off by Ella shrieking at the sudden appearance of Crowley.

“Don’t be so modest,” the demon said smugly. “I barely helped at all. Hello, boys. Girl. Witch. Pleasure, et cetera.” He nodded at me slightly, his self-satisfied grin getting larger. 'Why does he always smile at me like that?' He looked back at Bobby. “Go ahead. Tell them. There’s no shame in it.”

“Bobby? Tell us what?” Sam asked curiously.

“World’s gonna end,” Bobby said gruffly. “Seems stupid to get all precious over one little… soul.”

“You sold your soul?!” Dean yelped incredulously.

“Oh, more like pawned it,” Crowley corrected. “I fully intend to give it back.”

“Well, then, give it back!”

“I will.”

“Now!”

“Did you kiss him?” Sam and Ella asked simultaneously, and Bobby turned faintly pink.

“Ella!” I exclaimed the same time Dean called Sam’s name.

“Just wondering…” Sam said, and Ella stifled a giggle.

“No!” Bobby said, a little too quickly. Crowley smirked and pulled out a cell phone. On the screen was a picture of the two of them kissing, Bobby looking absolutely revolted and Crowley looking extremely triumphant. Bobby’s face was now beet red. “Why’d ya take a picture?”

“Why’d you have to use tongue?” the demon responded, and Ella and I busted out laughing.

Everyone else was silent until we finished, then, after giving us his best death glare, Dean said, “Alright. Y’know what? I’m sick of this. Give him his soul back now.”

“I’m sorry,” Crowley said, “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” I asked suspiciously.

“I won’t, alright?” he admitted. “It’s insurance.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You kill demons,” he said. “Gigantor over there has a temper issue about it. But you won’t kill me… as long as I have that soul in the deposit box.” I had to admit, it was pretty smart. It’s what I would’ve done, had I been in Crowley’s place.

“You son of a bitch,” Bobby growled.

“I’ll return it,” Crowley said. “After all this is over and I can walk safely away. Do we all understand each other?”

“No, I don’t think so,” I said casually. I reached my hand out and clenched it into a fist, willing the demon to writhe in pain. “Give Bobby his goddamn soul,” I snarled.

Crowley gave a small, fake cough and smirked at me. “Sorry, darling. Parlor tricks don’t work on me. I could definitely feel something, though, so don’t give up on that particular power. Now, with some proper fuel, maybe you’d have a chance.”

I dropped my hand to my side, breathing hard from overexertion, and Sam steadied me as I swayed a little. “What are you talking about now?” I said breathlessly.

“Not now. We’ll talk soon, Garideth. There’s something I’ve just been dying to tell you.” With another smirk, the demon disappeared.

“You okay?” Sam asked me, and I nodded. He turned to Dean and said, “Hey, um, can I talk to you? Alone?”

Dean glanced at me like he expected me to know what was going on, and I shrugged. I was just as clueless as he was. “Okay…” he said hesitantly, then he followed Sam out of the house.

“This can’t be good,” Ella said, shaking her head.

“It never is.”

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

Crowley had informed the boys that Pestilence was currently in the process of spreading the Croatoan virus, a virus that apparently turned people into vicious and aggressive monsters (put simply, demons), and calling it the vaccine for the swine flu. According to the boys, it was supposedly what had happened at the Lost Colony of Roanoke when America was first being settled. They’d faced it twice before, and it seemed to be a real pain in the ass.

Crowley was still adamant about only working with Dean, so the rest of us—Bobby, Cas, Sam, Ella, and I—were going to try to stop the Niveus Pharmaceuticals vans from leaving the factory. (Apparently, Niveus was just a big front for Pestilence’s plan of covering the world in disease. And of course, our dear friend Brady had been the vice president of distribution.) It was getting down to the wire, and we were all in a frenzy to get packed and ready.

“Alright,” Dean said as he walked over. “Well… good luck stopping the whole zombie apocalypse.”

“Yeah,” Sam said nervously. “Good luck killing Death.”

At first I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, but then I realized that the ridiculousness wasn’t funny at all. Dean was going to try to kill Death. We didn’t even know if that was possible, and we were taking reassurance from a demon. It felt like a total suicide mission to me. 'But that’s the Winchester way, right? Suicide missions?'

“Yeah.” Dean said, and I could tell that he was trying to keep his voice steady. He knew how slim our chances were, too, but he was trying not to show it.

“Remember when we used to just… hunt wendigos?” Sam asked, getting a nostalgic, far-away look on his face. “How simple things were?”

Dean almost smiled, but he seemed to stop himself. “Not really.” Ella and I watched the exchange quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

Sam frowned. “Well, um…” He pulled out the demon-killing knife and offered it to his brother. “You might need this.”

“Keep it,” Crowley said nonchalantly as he appeared. He handed Dean a small, wickedly curved blade. 'A scythe. Of course. That’s kind of poetic.' “Dean’s covered. Death’s own. Kills, golly, demons and angels and reapers and, rumor has it, the very thing itself.” 'Oh, very poetic.'

“How did you get that?” Castiel asked, his monotonous voice filled with a sort of awe.

“Hello—King of the Crossroads.” He smirked, looking very self-satisfied, as always. “So, shall we? Oh, wait, yes, slight change of plans.”

“What d’ya mean, ‘change of plans?’” Bobby asked.

“I mean, Garideth, you’re coming with us,” the demon said matter-of-factly.

“I am?” I said, surprised.

“Yes, you are. There’s four of them. Hate to admit it, but they’re capable. But yes, I’d like the chance to talk to you, somewhere you aren’t surrounded by an overprotective moose and a clingy ‘girlfriend.’” 'Did he just call Sam a moose?! What the hell?! And what is he playing at?! What can he possibly have to say to me?!'

“Um, alright,” I agreed slowly. “I mean, that is, if everyone else is okay with it.” I looked around at the others, noticing the reluctance on both Sam’s and Ella’s faces, but no one said anything. “Okie dokie, then. I guess I’m going after Death, too.”

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

The car ride to Chicago was… awkward, to say the least.

I sat quietly in the back seat while Dean and Crowley sat quietly in the front. The smirk never left Crowley’s face, and it was definitely unnerving me. The fact that he brought me with them to talk was just weird. I didn’t know why he couldn’t just say whatever he wanted to say to me back at Bobby’s, or any other place. Yeah, I didn’t want Dean to be alone on this, but I didn’t like splitting up with Ella. I knew that Sam and the others would look after her, but I was still worried.

“Can you… turn on some music or something?” I asked finally. “This silence is annoying.” Both men ignored me. “Okay… Never mind, I guess.” I fell silent again, crossing my arms and sliding down in the seat. I started humming “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” earning a glare from Dean. “Sorry…” I muttered.

The rest of the time passed in the same uncomfortable silence. Finally, we were in the city. It was enormous. Ella and I made a point to never take jobs in big cities, so this was a major experience for me. I pressed my face to the window, soaking all of the sights. The buildings were so big, and there were so many people; it was overwhelming, and I felt like a little kid on her first trip to Disney World. (Speaking of which, I had never been there, either.)

“Would you stop gawking?” Crowley said, rolling his eyes.

I turned and stuck my tongue out at the demon, and he smirked. “Let me have my moment!” I said. “I’ve never been in a big city before!” He shook his head and stared through the windshield again. I could’ve sworn I saw the corners of Dean’s mouth twitch upward at the corners, and I smiled.

“Hey, let’s stop for pizza,” Crowley suggested suddenly.

“Are you kidding?!” I snapped disbelievingly, and Dean stared at the demon incredulously. “You’re on me for looking out the window and now you wanna stop for pizza when we’re after Death?”

Crowley shrugged. “Just heard it was good. That’s all. Up ahead.” Dean and I followed Crowley’s gaze. “Big, ugly building. Ground zero. Horseman’s stable, if you will. He’s in there.”

“How d’you know?” Dean asked.

“Have you met me?” the demon shot back. “’Cause I know. Also, the block is squirming with reapers. I’ll be right back.” He disappeared, then reappeared not five seconds later. “Boy, is my face red. Death’s not in there.”

Dean sighed, as if he was trying to control his temper. “You wanna cut the cute and get to the part where you tell me where he is?”

“Sorry. I don’t know.”

“Wait, what?” I exclaimed.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Dean said, getting angrier and angrier. “Wait a minute. You don’t know?”

“Signs pointed. I’m just as shocked as you.” He sure didn’t look like it. He was annoyingly calm, as always.

“Bobby sold his soul for this!” Dean yelped.

“Relax. All deals are soul back or store credit. We’ll catch Death in the next doomed city.”

“Millions, Crowley. Millions of people are about to die any minute!”

“True. So I strongly suggest we get out of here.”

“No way,” I said stubbornly. “We’ve gotta evacuate the city somehow. We can’t let all of these people
die.”

“So, what?” Dean said, his voice only slightly betraying the panic he was feeling. “Call in a bomb threat? A thousand bomb threats? I mean, how the hell are we s’posed to get three million people outta Chicago in the next ten minutes?”

“Hey, um, where’d Crowley go?” I asked, noticing that the demon had disappeared.

Dean looked around wildly. “C’mon!”

I suddenly caught sight of Crowley standing across the street at the pizzeria from earlier. “Over there,” I told Dean.

The demon started talking, but we couldn’t understand him. “What?” Dean asked loudly. “I can’t hear you!”

Crowley reappeared suddenly, and I suppressed a shriek. “I said I found him. Death—he’s in there.”

“You coming or…?” Dean asked.

“I’d rather not,” Crowley said. “Garideth and I have some catching up to do.”

“Wait, so, he’s supposed to go in there alone?” I asked, shocked. “That’s total suicide!”

“The whole thing’s suicide, Garideth, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Yeah, but… Dean, you’re seriously going in there alone?” I looked at the hunter worriedly. 'There’s no way he can do this. He’s gonna die!'

“Don’t worry about it, Gari,” he said, trying to keep calm. “He’s just another reaper. I’ve dealt with reapers before.”

“Yeah, but he’s Death! The daddy reaper! Please, let me come with you!”

“Gari, chill out. I’ll be fine.” He opened the door and started to get out of the car. I grabbed his arm
and stopped him. He sighed and looked back at me. “Promise I’ll be back, okay?”

“You better,” I threatened. “Ella will kill me if I let you die!”

“Yeah, I know.” He grinned at me reassuringly. “So, you gonna let me go?” I released his arm reluctantly and he slid out of the car. “Now, I’m gonna leave you two alone for a few minutes,” he teased. “Think you can get along?”

“Oh, shut up,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “Go kill Death!” He smirked and shut the door, then walked across the street to the pizza parlor.

“It’s amusing,” Crowley said, appearing in the back seat beside me.

“What is?”

“Your attraction to them. Sam, I get. He’s your sex toy. But Dean? I imagine you two don’t get along very well.”

“W—what?” I spluttered. “Sex toy? Sam and I aren’t—! We haven’t—!”

“Oh, of course you haven’t.” Crowley smirked knowingly.

“We haven’t!” I protested. “It’s the truth!”

He raised an eyebrow at me, clearly amused at my indignation. “And how long have you been together?”

“A while, but circumstances aren’t really the best, I mean we don’t really have the time—how is this your business, anyway?!”

“Just curious.” He shrugged innocently.

“Just—just… no.” I shook my head vehemently, shocked at the nerve of this demon. I mean, demons were notoriously nosy, but to just straight up ask me about my sex life? It was just wrong! “Okay, that can’t be the reason you wanted me to come along. What d’you have to say to me, and why the hell couldn’t you do it some other time?!”

“This is a private conversation,” Crowley said. “I needed to get you away from those pesky Winchesters and that pathetic little girl.”

“Don’t you dare talk about Elle like that!” I growled. “She’s not pathetic. She’s perfect. She’s one of the best hunters I’ve ever seen, and I love her to death. So keep your fucking mouth shut!”

“Sorry, no offense meant,” the demon said, the smirk reappearing on his face. “Now, I have something very important to tell you. Try not to take it too hard.”

“Just get on with it, Crowley. Whatever you’ve got, I know I’ve heard worse.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” A sense of dread washed over me at his words. 'This can’t be good.' “That witch you met in California—“

“Britt?”

“Yes, her. The little traitor.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She told you your history, if I’m not mistaken. About your mother, your powers, all that jazz.”

“And?”

“And I’m guessing she mentioned something about demon blood?” At the look on my face, he grinned. “I’ll take that as a yes, then. What all did the lovely witch tell you?”

“She—she told me that the demon who lead my mother’s coven fed me his blood when I was a baby,” I said hesitantly, not liking where this was going. “She said that’s what helped my mom’s powers carry over to me. And that’s why I can kill demons with my mind. And she said she thought I didn’t need to drink demon blood because of my powers.”

“Well, well, well. She’s smarter than I thought,” Crowley said appreciatively. “Or was. I heard you disposed of her rather nicely. Thanks for that. She was quite the thorn in my paw.”

“You’re… welcome?” He grinned and nodded. “Okay, seriously. Get to it.”

“Tsk, tsk. So impatient,” he said teasingly. “That’s not a trait to be proud of.”

“Crowley. Tell me!”

“Alright, if you insist.” He settled back into the seat of the Impala, crossing his hands over his abdomen, and fixed me with an expectant and amused look. “I’m the one.”

“’I’m the one?’” I echoed. “What the fuck does that mean?!”

“It means I made you what you are. My blood courses through your veins. You should feel honored; you’re the only one I’ve ever deemed worthy. Your mother was my favorite pupil. I felt I should repay her many, many years of service.”

I was glad I was sitting down. The world started spinning around me and I took a deep breath to try to calm myself. It didn’t work, and I just started hyperventilating. 'No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This… this can’t be true! He’s a demon; he’s lying! He’s lying to upset me!' But I knew in my heart he was telling the truth. 'Okay… okay. So, what, does that mean he, like, owns me or something? And does that mean he killed my mom?'

“Say something, darling. You’re beginning to worry me.”

I glared at the demon, and he gave me a smug grin. “So… so did you kill my mom?” I asked finally, still feeling a little light-headed.

“Afraid so,” he informed me. “She tried to run with you, realized she couldn’t, and left you behind. But then she learned what I was planning to do with you. She came back just in time to see me pour the blood into your hungry mouth. Naturally, I couldn’t let her live after that.” He shrugged. “I can say one good thing about Azazel: he had style. Slicing her open and burning her on the ceiling… Now that was fun.”

“You fucking son of a bitch!” I snarled, diving across the seat at the demon, but he just disappeared. “Come back here, you fucking coward!” I yelled. “I’ll kill you! I swear I’ll kill you!” I inhaled sharply, trying hard not to break down. My body shook with the effort of restraining my tears, and I let out a dry, choked sob.

I’d never felt so much raw hatred in my entire life, not even for my father. What my father had done was wrong, so terribly wrong, I mean, he abused me, a little girl—but he did it because he felt lost without my mother. What Crowley had done—what all demons did—was just for the hell of it, and that made it so much worse in my eyes.

And the worst part was that I couldn’t even remember it. I wanted to remember her face, how she looked, even if she was pinned to the ceiling. Dad had gotten rid of all pictures of her, so I didn’t even know what color hair or eyes she had. And I didn’t remember moving, either. I never knew that the house I had grown up in was a different house from the one my parents originally had. Dad still had almost everything of Mom’s, so I guess I just never pieced it together—and, of course, he would never tell me anything like that. He would barely even look at me. I had always wondered if maybe that was because I looked like Mom, but had been too afraid to ask.

The car door opened suddenly and Dean slid in the driver’s seat. “Did you get it?” I asked, noticing with satisfaction that my voice didn’t betray that anything had happened. He held up the ring triumphantly. “Nice! What about Death? Did you kill him?”

“No, he… he gave it to me,” he replied, still looking slightly awed.

“He what?”

“Said Lucifer had him bound, and he didn’t like it. Said he’d love to get rid of him.”

“That’s great!” I exclaimed, and he nodded, but he didn’t look very happy. “Wait… If he just gave you the ring, why d’you look like someone shot your puppy?”

He glared at me for a minute, then looked away. “He gave it to me… for a price.”

“You didn’t—you didn’t sell your soul, did you?” I asked worriedly.

“He’s a reaper, Gari, not a demon.”

“Okay, yeah, then what was the price?”

“I let Sam carry out his crazy plan.”

“Ah. Um, so does that mean—?”

“No, I’m not,” he said stubbornly.

“Dean, you just lied to Death.” I said incredulously. “Death!”

“You think I’m just gonna let Sammy sacrifice himself like that?!” he asked harshly. “What kinda person would I be?! What kinda brother would I be?!”

“A good one!” I shot back. “I know you’re scared of losing him; I am, too! Hell, I’m terrified! In case you haven’t noticed, I love him, Dean!” Dean glanced at the steering wheel uncomfortably, and I continued. “But this is something he wants to do, and he can do it! He knows it, and I know it, and you know it, too! You’ve gotta let him do this, Dean. You’ve gotta show him that you believe in him. ‘Cause whether you do or not, he’s going through with it. But your support could mean the difference between him winning or losing. He needs you, Dean.”

“Not gonna happen, Gari.” He cranked up the car and pulled out of the parking spot. “I’m sorry, but no. There’s no way in Heaven or Hell I’m lettin’ my little brother swan dive into that hole. So forget it.”

I leaned back in the seat and sighed. 'He has to let Sam do this. He has to be there for him. We’ve gotta talk him into it somehow. The fate of the world kinda depends on it.'