I'm Not Strong Enough to Stay Away

That night, after finishing one of Bobby’s many occult books, I had another of my weird dreams.

I was seeing through Ella’s eyes again, and again she was in Bobby’s living room in the exact same position as last time, arms crossed and all. “You’re jokin’,” she said in a shocked voice. “Seriously?”

“Well, yeah, we’re not just gonna stop hunting ‘cause she’s ‘indisposed,’” Dean said matter-of-factly. 'Seriously? They’re going on a hunt without me?' I thought disbelievingly.

“You did for me,” Sam said quietly, an edge to his deep voice. 'C’mon, Sam! Fight for me!'

“Well, that’s different!” Dean replied. “You’re my brother! She’s just some random bitch we met on a hunt!”

I could tell already that he said the wrong thing. Not many things could cause Ella to get truly angry, but when she did get mad, it was actually quite frightening.

Her tiny fists clenched together and she sprang up off the couch, glaring up at Dean. “I’m tired of you antagonizin’ her all the time!” she exploded.

“Me?” Dean exclaimed. “She’s the one who broke my nose!”

“Yeah, ‘cause you were eggin’ her on!” Ella retorted. “If you’d just learn to shut your mouth, it wouldn’ta happened! And, admit it, part of the reason you latched on so hard to your crap theory about the whole blood thing is ‘cause of your grudge against her!” Dean started at her stupidly, obviously wondering where this ferocious counterpart of her came from. “Ya always talk about how family’s important to ya—how it’s like everythin’—but did ya ever think that Gari's my family? And I’m hers? We’re all each other’s got!”

Dean was in a shocked silence for a minute (and Sam was trying very hard not to laugh at this), but of course, it didn’t last. “I know that, Ella,” he said finally, sounding very exasperated. “But it doesn’t change anything.”

“Well, then, I’m stayin’ here!” she shot back angrily. Sam nodded firmly in agreement, a small, triumphant grin on his face.

“No, you’re not. Neither of you are. You’ll let her out. Bobby’ll take care of her.”

“I’m stayin’ here.” Ella repeated adamantly.

“Ella, you’re coming with us,” Dean said forcefully. “Even if I have to hogtie you and throw you in the trunk.”

“Good luck doing that to me,” Sam said amusedly, raising his eyebrows skeptically.

“Sam, we’ve already talked about this. The only way you’re staying is if you’re locked in that panic room with her.”

Sam looked very much like he was about to start throwing punches, and as hot as that would be, I really didn’t want to be the cause of more family drama. 'Just go with him,' I thought resignedly. 'It's not worth you getting locked up, too.'

Ella stomped her foot stubbornly—which was actually kind of funny to me—but I could tell that her will was breaking. She could only deal with so much conflict for a short amount of time, and I knew she hated arguing with Dean. “Dean--!”

“Bobby’ll take care of her,” he repeated, cutting her off. He could tell she was caving, too. “C’mon, Elle. D’you really wanna ride in the trunk all the way to Virginia?”

“Fine!” she huffed, uncrossing her arms and plopping down on the couch. “But I’m not happy about it.” Dean smirked slyly as if to say “I can fix that” and Ella giggled. I shuddered internally, thinking, 'Ugh, this must be how Dean feels when I flirt with Sam.'

“Okay, so are we doing this the easy way?” he asked her.

“Yep, easy way!” she replied, standing up. “You gonna tell Gari?”

“Yeah—“

“I got it,” Sam interrupted, walking out of the room before they could say anything.

The sound of the panic room door opening woke me up.

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

“Um, hey,” Sam said, walking in and looking super uncomfortable. “We—“

“I know,” I said, then realized that I wasn’t supposed to know they were going yet. “You’re going hunting, right? I figured,” I covered smoothly.

“Yeah. Vengeful spirit in Virginia.”

“So, what, you’re coming to say bye or something?”

“Yeah, I guess. They wanted me to tell you that we’re going.”

“How did your brother talk Elle into leaving me?” I asked, pretending to be curious.

“He threatened to hogtie her and throw her in the trunk,” Sam replied awkwardly, sitting down
beside me.

I busted out laughing, still finding that funny, and finding it even funnier that Ella had actually believed Dean would do that to her. “Wow, okay. Guess I can’t be too angry at her then, with that threat,” I said, still laughing a little.

“I can try to get you out if you—“

“Sammy, stop,” I interrupted, holding up my hand. “I feel like a home wrecker, and I’m not even dating one of you. This whole ‘family drama’ shit has to stop.”

“Ha, this is nothing,” Sam said, chuckling. You should’ve seen some of our other fights. He decked me for getting possessed once. Yeah, I shot him, but how was that my fault?” he asked innocently.

I laughed and said, “Wow, you guys have some adventures, don’t you? But seriously, go kill a ghost—ignore how impossible that sounds—and have fun! I’ll still be here when you get back.”

He chuckled and gave me a lop-sided grin. “What’s with the submissiveness all of a sudden?”

“Submissiveness?” I echoed, seemingly offended. “Hey, can you blame me for not wanting to get tied to this cot right here?” 'Oh, God, wrong choice of words,' I thought as soon as I saw Sam’s expression. 'Shit, what the fuck did he see in here?' “Hey, if that—“

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Sam, I—“

“Gari, don’t worry about it. Seriously. It’s nothing.”

“Liar.”

He grinned slightly and was about to say something when we heard Dean call out, “Sammy! Get your ass up here! Let’s go!”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to try to get you out?” Sam asked me, ignoring his brother. “Dean’s not as tough as he thinks. I can take him.”

“Aw, that’s sweet,” I said, smiling. “But no thanks. Go have fun.” On a sudden whim, I leaned over and kissed his cheek lightly. “Now get outta here!” I ordered, pushing him off the cot.

Without a word—but with an adorably deep blush on his face—Sam walked out, closing and locking the door behind him.

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

The next day, I was reading through another of Bobby’s occult books when the door opened. 'Oh my God, they’re back!' I thought irrationally, becoming slightly disappointed when Bobby Singer himself walked in.

“Hey, kid,” he said, giving me a small, apologetic smile. “You hungry?” I nodded and walked to the door, making sure to reach out of the panic room to show him that the Devil’s traps had no effect on me. He noticed, to my intense satisfaction. 'Maybe he'll see how ridiculous Dean’s stupid theory is.'

Bobby handed me a brown paper bag and a soda, and I took it gratefully. After a moment of consideration, I handed back the soda and asked, “Got any beer?”

He chuckled and said, “Yeah, gimme a minute.” He stood up and walked up the stairs, leaving the door wide open.

I stared longingly out of the room, deliberating on whether to make a run for it. "But where would I go? It’s not like I could follow the others to Virginia. Dean would kill me on the spot.'

Bobby came back down the stairs, holding two beers and wearing an extremely surprised expression. “Thought ya woulda tried to make a run for it,” he said.

“I thought about it,” I admitted. “But I’ve never even seen the outside of your house. I don’t even know what state I’m in.”

Bobby chuckled again and said, “South Dakota. Sioux Falls if ya wanna go into specifics.” He opened one of the beers and handed it to me.

“Hm, PBR,” I said appreciatively. “Good choice.”

“Sam’s favorite, too. Dean’ll drink just about anything.”

I laughed and opened the paper bag, pulling out the burger within and trying not to make a face. 'Ew, meat,' I thought disgustedly. I took the patty off and put it back in the bag casually, receiving an amused look from Bobby. “Vegetarian since forever,” I explained, and he nodded. I bit into the makeshift veggie burger and chewed it thoughtfully. “So,” I said, swallowing, “how long d’you think I’ll have to stay in here before Dean realizes that I’m not some demon blood junkie?”

“I dunno,” he replied. “Sam was in here a couple days before he started havin’ fits, but he was hallucinatin’ real soon after we got him in.”

“I haven’t had hallucinations or anything, and I’ve been in here for three days. You’d think he would’ve noticed that.”

“Ah, he’s stubborn,” Bobby said, taking a swig of his beer. “But he can’t keep ya in here forever. He’ll come around. Hell, Sam’ll make sure of that.”

I smiled at that last part, laughing lightly. “I think part of the reason I’m in here is because I broke his nose…” I mused.

“Yeah, that’d do it,” he agreed, laughing with me. Suddenly, a phone rang from above us. “Hold on a sec,” he said, getting up and starting up the stairs. He disappeared from my sight, then I heard a thud and a loud exclamation of “Balls!”

“Bobby?” I called. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he said dismally. I heard a grunt and then he said, “I’m stuck.”

“Huh?”

“The step collapsed and my leg is stuck,” he replied, sounding very irked.

I shook my head in disbelief. 'Great.' I stared through the doorway, trying to see the stairs. I couldn’t. 'What am I supposed to do? I wondered. What if he freaks out that I came out of the room? Ah, hell. Forget it.' I stepped out of the panic room and walked slowly to the stairs, busting out laughing as I saw Bobby.

“Shut up,” he said gruffly, though he chuckled in spite of himself. “Help me out, would ya?”

“Sure thing, old man,” I said, walking over to him. We both grabbed his leg and pulled, but it didn’t work. “Dammit, Bobby!” I said, laughing again.

“Here’s your chance to escape,” he told me, grinning. I shook my head, concentrating on freeing his leg. “Why not?”

“I’d kinda like it if he trusted me,” I said quietly. “Well, it’s not like I need his approval or anything, I just figure it would make stuff a hell of a lot easier. I mean, I sure as hell don’t like him, but I’m tired of him being so suspicious of me all the time. So I figure if I stay in that shithole until he lets me out, he’ll realize I’m one of the good guys. Sam called it ‘submissiveness,’ but I call it my master plan.” I shrugged and gave Bobby’s leg a final tug, grinning as it came loose. “Victory!” I cheered.

“Thanks,” Bobby said, rubbing his leg with a thoughtful expression.

“What is it?” I asked curiously.

He was quiet for a minute, then he said, “You’re somethin’ else, kid. Ya know that?”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I asked him, eyebrows raised skeptically.

“Not really sure yet. I’ll let ya know when I do.”

“Okie dokie,” I said, and something about that made him grin. “For the moment, I’ll take it as a compliment. And you’re something else yourself, old man.”

“Thanks?” he said questioningly, and I laughed, then turned and walked back to the panic room. “Try not to get stuck again,” I called over my shoulder, smiling as I heard him grumbling to himself. 'Looks like I’ve made a new friend.'

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

“Can I ask ya somethin’, kid?” Bobby asked me the next day. According to Dean and Ella’s deal, I had only one more day in the panic room, if Dean kept his word. 'And if they get back on time,' I thought hopefully.

“Sure thing, old man,” I replied, crossing my legs Indian-style on the cot. “Ask away.”

“What happened to you when you were little?”

I blanched. I hadn’t expected that question. I was about to answer with the same edited story that I had given Sam, but I hesitated. I really didn’t want to lie to Bobby—he had been so great to me—but I didn’t know how he would react to the truth, and the possibilities frightened me. “I… can’t tell you,” I said finally.

“Can’t be that bad,” he persisted. “Not bad enough to get ya locked in there for real, is it?”

I bit my lip and didn’t say anything. The half-smile on his face faded and he stared at me worriedly. “You promise not to lock me up?” I asked after a while. He nodded curiously, brows furrowed, trying to figure out where this was going. “You promise not to shoot me?” I asked, and he nodded slightly, obviously wondering whether he should make that promise.

I took a shaky breath, closed my eyes, and said, “Well, first of all, I know how I can kill demons with my mind and how I’m immune, and it’s not by drinking demon blood. But I’ll get to that later.”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I began, “My mom left practically right after I was born. My dad seemed to feel like it was my fault, though how could it have been? I was just a baby. Anyway, once I was about four years old, he started taking his anger out on me. And he was always angry, and he was always drunk, which made it even worse.” I paused for a minute, fiddling with my mother’s necklace. “I pretty much learned to fend for myself. I was six years old and was already cooking dinner. Granted, it was only mac and cheese, but still.”

I sighed and bit my lip. 'Moment of truth.' “Then, one day, when I was nine, he came home worse than usual. It was the anniversary of when my mom left. I made my dad mac and cheese, like usual. I dropped the plate because I was shaking so badly, and he exploded. Looking back, I remember him saying it was my mom’s favorite plate. He knocked me down a couple of times, but I finally made it to the pantry and blocked the door.” Bobby was staring at me with a knowing look in his eye, and I couldn’t decide whether to be encouraged by that or not. “It was awful,” I continued. “He kept yelling and beating on the door and I just knew he was going to break in. I closed my eyes, preparing for the worst, then I felt this horrible pain, worse than any I’d ever felt, and there was this bright light, then it was gone and he was quiet. After a while, I opened the door and found his body, charred and smoking. I knew I’d done it, but I didn’t know how.”

“And ever since then, I’ve had these weird, unexplainable powers that manifest mostly randomly and are a bitch to control.” I glanced at Bobby as I finished, waiting for him to do something, like shoot me. “Well?” I asked finally. “What d’you think?”

He considered me for a moment, then stood up and said, “I think ya needa get outta that room and come upstairs. Dean can get over it.”