Be Kind

I called in the next day sick to Howard, he was not pleased but since I never call in he dealt with it saying it would most likely be an easy day anyways. A few minutes after the session would have started I got a text from John.

John: Really you're "sick" that's hilarious. Dumb bitch.

I guess he figured I wasn't actually sick which I wasn't but this text made me feel it. I didn't want to be home and I couldn't go to work. I had a few friends in the city but because I worked two jobs I didn't get to see them much so it seemed they all had forgotten about me. As a last resort I sent a simple hey how've you been text to Brett.

Brett: Been better, I miss you though I thought you'd never talk to me again, I haven't heard from you in weeks.

Me: I apologize for that. I miss you too baby, what are you doing today?

I felt disgusted with my own self, calling him baby and basically implying I felt a way that I didn't.

Brett: I get off work in an hour I can come over and bring you some lunch.

I agreed, I needed something to do. I went to my closet and pulled out a black dress from Frederick's that showed off my cleavage it was basically lingerie but I figured we wouldn't be going anywhere. I even did my make up smokey eyes with bright red lipstick. I looked in the mirror and felt really good about the way I was looking when I heard a knock at my door.

I put on my litas and walked to the front door. I opened the door hugged Brett with a kiss on the cheek. He walked in past me to my kitchen and set down the bags he had in his arms.

"I brought some clam chowder with some bread bowls from Porto's, your favorite." He smiled as he began pulling everything out. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and kissed his neck.

"How've you been doll?" he asked as he set the food down on my kitchen table he even pulled the chair out for me.

"I've been fine I guess, I haven't been feeling my best, I called in sick to work today." Because I can't stop thinking about John.

"You never call in, are you sure you're not actually sick?" I chuckled a little, since when did I let a guy interrupt my job?

"I'm pretty sure I'm healthy, healthy enough to call you over for a good time." I stated in a seductive tone.

"Oh I definitely missed you." he got up just to kiss me. "Clam chowder's good warmed up later right? I think we should work up an appetite." He kissed me more passionately this time before I was pulled to my feet and then carried to my room. Even if I didn't like Brett as he liked me I did miss this being a normal day between us.

"I'm sorry I was ever mad at you, me and you work good together." he said once he came. I shouldn't lead him on this way but it's better than me falling for John again.

"Yup were both good in the sack, perfect." I wasn't even sure what I was saying.

"If all I am for you is a good time then I should just leave." he said I could feel the anger in his voice as he sat up.

"No baby lay back down, I was just trying to show I'm thankful for that." I lied as I pulled him back down then straddling his hips as I kissed him. I shouldn't lie but I was lonely and craving John, but I didn't want to hurt John again.

Once we worked up the energy to get up we ate our food. We were messing around a bit more when Brett stopped.

"What's wrong?" I asked utterly confused he never stopped

"How'd you get these?" he looked at my bruised thighs.

"I fell over a-a-a table." I bullshitted whatever was thigh high.

"Wow, and you expect me to believe that? these aren't straight bruises their scattered they almost look like hand prints... wait a minute." I could almost see the light bulb blink on in his head. He seemed to fly off the bed. "You're fucking kidding me right, you can't be serious."

I sat up, I couldn't believe he was mad. "What's wrong?" I played dumb

"You had sex with someone else, who was it?" I scoffed.

"Do you really need to know? It's not like I cheated on you or something we aren't together." I hated when Brett got jealous, he wasn't allowed to.

"Why do you even keep me around?" he pulled on his pants as he sat down on the bed, head in his hands.

"Brett I love you, you are one of the best friends I have that's why I keep you around."

"But I'm not boyfriend material or what? I've done everything for you. Your mom even likes me. I figured you'd change your mind of me if I gave you everything. Why hasn't anything worked?" I had never heard a guy be so emotional.

"Brett I warned you in the beginning, I'm not looking for a relationship I don't want to be with anyone. The fact that you're trying to push me to being with you is just sad when 1. I'm not wanting a relationship so I wouldn't put any effort into it, 2. I do love you but definitely not in the I want to be with you all the time way I don't mean to hurt you but this is dumb." I laid back down.

"What is your problem why don't you want a relationship. You haven't had stability in years don't you want that? Someone to hold you every night, to talk to just like a friend but love like no other? who wouldn't want that?"

"Not with you." I said, at least I was being honest, of course no one enjoys hearing that. He stood up and put his shirt on now walking towards my bedroom door.

"If you need a quick fuck again I wont be there for that find a new guy to lead on." he was angry I could almost feel the steam coming from his ears. But I didn't feel bad and I didn't mind if he left, at least I wouldn't get to hurt him anymore. The fact that I could just hurt someone so bad and be content because I wouldn't hurt them in the long run was harsh. Was I selfish for this, I wasn't sure. I looked at my clock. 1:25 AM I should have been in bed already I had to wake up at 7 to get ready for work. I set my alarm and fell asleep, it was such a long day and I didn't even want to leave my apartment.