Ours Then....

Ours Then….

Day 18
Sid,
We’ve got some down time now. You and the boys have some practices in the afternoons, but other than that, you’re all free. I love those mornings when I wake up in your arms and you’re already awake. I love those mornings when we just lay in bed, doing nothing. They’re the best. I wish we could have them more often. But you know, two professional athletes in a romantic relationship has its difficulties. But we do our best.

I spent the next few days shut up inside myself. I would go to practice, come home with Janine, and go into my room. I wasn’t completely sure why I was acting the way I was. Janine had said something about me being scared. I guess I was. I was scared to let you in again. Scared that you would leave me. I didn’t want to lose someone else.

Three days after I saw you (the 72 hours in between were filled with texts and calls from you, none of which I returned), you made an appearance. You showed up on Janine’s and my doorstep, begging to talk.

I hadn’t been the one to answer the door. I was in the kitchen, getting food. I had decided to take a trip out to our spot. Or I guess at the time it had been my spot, but either way, it’s ours now.

“She blames herself,” I heard Janine whisper. You two were talking about me. “She got drunk and Ryan drove her back to his apartment. They were in New York City; this was just after Rory had gotten back from the Olympics. A drunk driver hit them, Ryan…Ryan died on impact. Rory had to have some shrapnel and car parts removed from her body. It wasn’t pretty.” Janine was always good at controlling her emotions.

“That’s awful,” you sighed. “Do you think she would let me talk to her now?”

Janine hesitated. “You can give it a try. I’m heading out now, she’s in the kitchen. But she hasn’t been too great lately, Sid. There have been nights when she’ll wake up crying. And you know what she’ll do? She’ll get up and put your game sweater on. And she’ll just sit in the kitchen, doing nothing but cry and breathe. Be careful with her, she’s gonna break any day.”

I made a mental note to kill Janine later on.

I heard your footsteps moving down the hall. I had my back to the doorway and I busied myself with putting ice into a thermos.

Moments later, you spoke. “You’re not looking very healthy.”

I almost dropped the jug of milk. “Well, I’ve been a little busy.”

“I see that,” he sighed and looked back out into the hall. My four Olympic medals hung there with photos. The gold, silver, and bronze glinted in the late afternoon light. “You did well.”

“I tried,” I shrugged. “But seriously, Sid. Why are you here?”

You looked at me for a long moment. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed really upset the other day.”

I gave you a bewildered look. “Of course I was upset! Seeing you for the first time in all these years and having to explain about Ryan was heartbreaking in so many ways. I’m surprised I didn’t break down entirely.”

“Why didn’t you tell me when it happened?” you asked closing the distance between us in a few long strides.

“What would I have said? Oh, hi Sidney. Yeah, I’m not doing too well. You see, Ryan just died in a car crash because of me. How are you?” I said sarcastically.

“You were hurt. I’ve been worried,” you said.

“There was nothing to tell you. You didn’t need to know,” I whispered.

“Of course I needed to know! I know practically everything about you! I know that you hate spinach but you love peas. I know that you secretly love getting up and going to early practices. I know that you love being held on the couch late at night. I know that the only way you’ll eat graham crackers without it being on a s’more is if you can dip them in milk,” you said putting your hands on my shoulders.

I looked down guiltily at the container of graham crackers and the thermos of milk on the counter. Damn you.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Golden Boy. It just doesn’t,” I sighed.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I stormed out the back door and climbed into my car. I saw you come out after me. You climbed into your car and I could see you driving after me. I didn’t care. At least, that’s what I told myself.

I got to the pond minutes later, having driven over the speed limit. I didn’t really care what happened anymore.

You soon found me sitting on the edge of the water. I choked on a sob and you wrapped an arm around me. I let you keep it there as I cried.

I leaned my head on your shoulder and you whispered in my ear, “Be mine. Be mine again, Rory.”

My breath caught in my throat. I didn’t know what to do. So instead, I listened to my heart. And you know what it told me to do? Kiss you.

And I did. It felt so right. You put your hand over my scar and despite the pang of pain I felt due to the sensitivity, I didn’t make you move. I let it be.

Day 18 Over and Out!
Yours,
Rory