Cannibal

My head felt like lead. It was such an effort to keep my eyelids up as I tried to get through breakfast. Grandmother hasn't said a word, which I say is due to the awkward relationship we have for not being able to see each other in so long. I'm assuming she doesn't know what happened in my bedroom after my emotional breakdown last night since only I have seen it. I'm sure after the workmen go in to tidy it up, they will see the mess and complain about it. She will eventually find out.

"Why don't you eat your sausage, Ophelia?" she asks when I was done, leaving it completely untouched. I didn't say anything and sat there, waiting to be excused. "You can't leave this table until you eat it." There is nothing on Earth that will make me eat it.

For quite awhile, perhaps an hour or two, I sat there, staring at the sausage, my stomach on the edge of emptying itself the more I did stare at the meat. Grandmother sat there, staring at me with those icy blue eyes, waiting for me to break. If I break, I will lose all that I believe so passionately about. In a way, this is a silent protest, but I'm sure my little rebellious act will go unnoticed for now I am in the dark. My father has thrown me aside for now I am a reject of this society. This cruel, horrendous society.

She sighed, sitting up. I sat up too, thinking I won. "Sit." I did as I was told. "James, make sure she eats her meat. She isn't allowed to leave until she does." Then she walked off, leaving her trusty workmen by the kitchen door, standing there. After I made sure she left, I stood and took my plate.

"What are you doing, Miss Lincoln? You aren't allowed to leave until you finished," he stated to me, following me as I went into the kitchen.

"I refuse to eat this, and no power on Earth is going to stop me," I told him over my shoulder as I threw it out. I turned around and smiled at him. "I don't care whether you do tell her or not of what I've done. I'm doomed no matter what I do."

"Doomed?" he questioned.

"Either I eat the human, or I get punished for not doing so. I will have to suffer either way, and I choose the latter option." I began to walk past him to my room, before I remembered the mess I made from last night. A person grabbed my arm and I looked at one of the workmen who stood in front of James, staring at me with a small smile.

"You don't eat the meat because it's human?" I nodded as I gave him a suspicious look. His smile widened and he pulled me to him in a hug. This was quite unexpected. "You are truly a saint!"

"Calvin, let the girl go. You have to maintain civility," James told him as he pried him off me. I straightened out my clothes and looked at the man who was still smiling, giving him a small smile.

"Do you believe in God?" I took a minute to answer, giving him a simple shrug of my shoulders. "Do you know anyone else who doesn't that is in your class? Have you been influenced by a rebel in your decision to become a vegetarian? Have you ever eaten meat before? Are you rebelling against your father's wishes by not eating the meat for attention?"

"Calvin," James said in a warning tone, silencing the man. "Please, refrain from questioning her. I'm sure she has other things to attend to, as do we." This brought up the reminder of what occurred in my bedroom last night.

"I hate to be difficult and intolerable, but I... broke some things in my guest bedroom. Could some of the workmen come and clean it up? There's awfully a lot of glass," I said to them. They stared at me for some time before James nodded.

"Intentionally or by accident?" Calvin asked me. I looked down at my feet as shame crossed over my mind.

"I was quite upset and frustrated. Usually I wouldn't intentionally break things, but I wasn't acting like myself last night."

"Don't say anymore," James told me. "We'll take care of it."

"Thank you. I am terribly sorry for my outburst. I promise it won't happen again." They just nodded at me, and I knew they were upset. I knew I caused them to have more work, and it made tears start forming in my eyes. "I'll be off then." I quickly exited the kitchen before they saw the tears and made my way outside, looking around for Grandmother so she wouldn't catch me escaping into her garden. I wasn't entirely sure she was out there, but when I did look around from the porch, I saw no sign of her. I must assume she is in her study.

I walked the perimeter of the garden a couple times to try and calm myself before I did end up sobbing. A few tears, however, did escape but they're unnoticeable. When I came upon the willow tree in the corner of the garden, I decided to rest there for awhile. The untrimmed branches provided perfect coverage from anyone to visibly see me, especially since the sun looked down upon it from an angle to where the shadow of the tree acted with the branches, causing a perfect hideaway for me. I sat down, careful not to stain my dress, and leaned against the trunk, my thoughts consuming me.

My mind was replaying all of what has occurred since my parent's discovery. How can they just cast me away for not eating one thing? It is only one of the major food groups. Meat can be replaced with many vegetables and vitamin supplements. We don't need to eat humans. Why are we so superior according to God? What makes me so special?

I feel like a freak. No one I know of my class thinks the same way. Perhaps there was a mishaps and I'm not actually their daughter. Maybe Mother had an affair, which I do not doubt in the slightest. Hunter is their true son, that is definite based on how similar him and Father are. I have my mother's hair, but not her skin or eyes. I look much softer, plainer. I am not as extravagant. The only attention I draw from people is from my relations. There is nothing special about me. There is only something wrong about who I am, how I think.

But my mind isn't convinced with this conclusion. I still feel as though I am alone, and as I view the world around me, my thoughts are screaming wrong. All that surrounds me is wrong. My gut is convinced this is to be, this conclusion. This society I live in isn't right. God wouldn't want people to be placed above another. Why would he? There is not actual reason why. The preachers just tell us what is to occur, never shows us why, another fault in this city.

How can anybody think this is right?