For You I'd Bleed Myself Dry

Falling asleep didn’t seem to be a problem for me, staying asleep was virtually impossible. Between my racing thoughts and excruciating pain, I just couldn’t catch a break. My body begged for painkillers, my mouth in desperate need of water and my brain just needed a break. Getting up was not an option for me at this point, and I wasn’t about to call some complete stranger to come take care of me, talk about embarrassing.

My body started to heat up, my pores oozing with sweat. Harry had tucked me in pretty tight before he left; squirming out of this was going to be painful. After what seemed to be hours, I eventually just ignored the pain and slid out from the covers, ripped of my paper hospital gown, and laid flat on my back. Of course the ceiling fan wasn’t on. I allowed my eyes to close, taking in deep breaths. I could feel my body twitching in and out of consciousness. The nausea hit my like a ton of bricks, not even allowing me to toss myself over which caused me to choke on my vomit. Fighting against my body, I sat up coughing and choking as the contents from my stomach ran down my body.

In the midst of my episode Harry had managed to walk in. This couldn’t get any better. He ran over to the bed with a much needed trash can and helped prop up my body, rubbing my back gently.

“Oh love. What happened?” he spoke sympathetically.

“I’m sorry, it’s everywhere.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad I came back when I did. Give me a second love.” He took off to the bathroom. First the bath started, and then the shower, quickly a boxer clad Harry appeared. He grabbed the phone and dialed a number.

“Hi. Yes, this is Harry Styles, room 107. We’ll need some maid service as soon as possible. Okay…Great…Thank you very much.” He hung up the receiver.

“Come on we’ll rinse you off so you aren’t sitting in your vomit, then you can relax in your bath I drew up for you. I even put in bubbles.” He flashed a compassionate smile.

He grabbed the plastic cover up and quickly wrapped it around my cast like the nurses showed us. He picked me up despite the fact I was covered in vomit and carried me into the bathroom.

“You’re too good to me.” I said weakly.

The smile remained on his face as he placed me in the shower. Harry handed me a bar of soap and cloth; my hands moved slowly washing off the rancid smell. Once I was done Harry picked me up again and placed me into my bubble bath.

He kissed the top of my head. “I’m gonna jump in the shower real quick. Just yell if you need anything.”

His boxers made their way around his ankles, flashing me with his albino bum that I couldn’t help but giggle at. While harry was in the shower, I took the opportunity to remove my wet undergarments and sink deeper into the bath. The water was perfect temperature and just enough bubbles. A smile grew across my face when Harry began singing in the shower.

“Hey I heard you were a wild one, Ooooh!
If I took you home it’d be a home run. Show me how you do!
I wanna shut down the club with you!
Hey I heard you like the wild ones!”

Whilst singing extremely loud, Harry, full of sudsy curls, stuck his head out of the shower singing into a bar of soap.

At that moment I had forgotten everything that separated us or what could tear us apart. My cancer didn’t matter, the pain didn’t matter, touring, his crazy scheduling, anything that was a threat didn’t exist.

Harry finished up his shower and slid into clean shorts before joining my side.

“Harry?” I asked

“What on your mind babe?” he said while playing with the bubbles in the tub.

“I want you to know that you’re the only reason I’m still here. When I met you I was giving up. I had no more fight in me and you just walked into my life and made everything worth living for. Fighting doesn’t seem so hard knowing I have you to take care of me.”

His hand fully covered in bubbles attached to my cheek. His thumb traced tiny circles into my cheekbones. A buildup started in his tear ducts. “I’ve never felt this way about someone Quinn. I don’t have a way with words like you do. I just- I’m going to do everything I can to get you better. You aren’t leaving me.”

“If the transplant doesn’t work, I’ve decided I’m not going to receive any further treatment.” The words spilled out without thinking.

“That’s stupid and you know it Quinn.” He pulled his hand away from my face.

“It didn’t do anything the first time why would it do something now? And if I did do treatment I’d have to leave you. If I go back without you, I don’t know how long I’ll last.” I stopped fighting back the tears.

Harry took a deep breath before brushing away my tears. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it love.”

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Harry and I woke up with next morning to 3 very rowdy boys jumping around our room.
“Come on now, we’ve got that big morning show today!” Louis yelled, jumping on Harry.

“What time is it?” Harry’s voice was scratchy.

“5:30, if you don’t hurry we’ll be late. Zayn’s almost done getting ready, you don’t want to be the last one.” Liam said pulled the covers off of Harry’s body. Harry kissed the top of my head lightly before leaving to get ready.

Liam, Louis and Niall took his spot, sandwiching me in the middle.

“How you feelin’?” Niall asked

“Better” I lied. “We’re leaving right after this right?” I asked

“Good to hear! And indeed! Just a short trip though about three hours I reckon.” Liam said rubbing my bare head.

“Are you going to watch us? Here I’ll put it on for you.” Louis said reaching for the remote.

Harry walked out of the bathroom dressed and ready to go. He sat on the edge of the bed lacing up his sneakers. He shuffled towards the phone.

“Alright mates. Let’s go get Zayn.” He yelled after hanging up.

“I’ve called down and ordered you some breakfast; they’re bringing up something for your aches as well. Please eat. We shouldn’t be long.” He kissed my cheek hard. “I love you.” Placing another rough kiss on the opposing cheek.
“Ew,” the boys yelled in unison. Harry took off after them.

“I’ll miss you!” he yelled running out the door.
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Room service showed up in about twenty minutes. I laughed as the lanky bell hop revealed my breakfast. Harry always knew what I was craving. In front of me was large plate of assorted fruit, a chocolate chip muffin and tea. I slowly picked at my breakfast as I watched the news, waiting to see the guys. I had finished eating and cuddled back into the comforter before talk of the boys came up. They showed thousands of screaming fans outside of the studio waiting for them. After showing the weather for the third time and multiple commercial breaks the boys finally walked out, taking spots on the couch for their interview, I noticed each of them were an orange ribbon on their shirts.

“Welcome One Direction!” the interview spoke.

“Hello!” said each of the boys.

The interviewers took turns asking each of the boys standard questions.

“So I see you’re all supporting some lovely ribbons today, orange is Leukemia I believe?” the woman interviewer pointed out.

“Very good, that’s correct” Louis said.

“Any particular reason?” she interjected.

Oh goodness. What are they going to say? Oh no. Oh no.

“Yeah, uh-actually my girlfriend’s fighting CLL right now.” Harry spoke

An awkward silence fell over the whole room, a few gasps from the crowd.

I’m going to kill them. Why didn’t tell me they were going to say something. What were people going to say?

“Wow. We’re very sorry to hear that.” The male interview broke the silence. “We all hope for the best.

“Thank you very much.” Harry smiled.

And that was it. They moved on with the interview. Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as I thought?