For You I'd Bleed Myself Dry

Much to my surprise Harry’s planning was seamless. He made a calendar for me of the days I’d be having treatment, what state, and what hospital.

The first rounds of treatment hit my body like a ton of bricks. I’d throw up before, during and after almost every session. My body ached so much it eventually went numb. I avoided scales at all costs but I could tell I was loosing weight again. I wore baggy clothing in public so I didn’t draw attention.

I’ve missed about seven shows, which left me feeling horrible. We’d be in California soon for a week. They guys had four shows and three days off. I was planning to take full advantage this.

The boys had left for sounds check a half hour ago, which meant I had plenty of time for planning. It was time to assemble a staff, Paul was my first call.

“Hello deary. Everything alright?” he said cheerfully

“Yes! Great actually. Just doing some planning for the week in California. Do you by chance know the schedule yet?” I replied

“Sneaky little one you are! I just got it, I’ll send it to you. What are you planning?” he laughed.

“I can’t say just yet! I’ll let you know when everything’s worked out. I’ll be needing some help if you don’t mind.”

“Sure thing love. Talk to you soon.”

“Thank you!” I said, ending the call.

I decided to whip myself into shape. Things might not be looking with my Leukemia but I wasn’t going to let that stop me just yet. I needed Harry and he needed me for as long as possible. Before Harry left London he told me everything he was looking forward to experiencing with me, and I was going to make those things happen.

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The first day we had in California the boys had off and I didn’t have a session. I figured the boys could use some guy time so I didn’t have anything planned for us just yet. I was three hours into a deep sleep when Harry shook me awake.

“Love, wake up.,” his voice still sleepy.

“What’s wrong? What time is it?” I groaned.

“5:00, I have a surprise babe.” He said while lifting me out of bed and walking me to the bathroom. I splashed cool water on my heavy eyes, quickly brushed my teeth and threw on some clothes.

I walked out of the bathroom to find harry sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me. His hair was covered with my favorite beanie. He was wearing a Jack Willis hoodie and sweats.

“You look so much betting in that t-shirt then I do.” He said flashing a smile.

I looked down at my torso covered in Harry’s Ramones shirt. “That’s what you get for pulling me out of bed this early. It’s still dark.” I said grabbing my zip up.

We walked out of the room and into the dead hallways. It was too early for anyone in their right minds to be up, there wasn’t much traffic even. I tried my best not to doze off during the car ride. We drove for about fifteen minutes. Harry helped me out of the car and I struggled to make out the view. He went around to the back of the car, pulling out blankets and a basket.

“Can you please tell me what we’re doing?” I questioned. Sand was sinking between my flip flops.

“You’ll see.” His face lighting up.

We kept walking hand in hand for a bit more, the shore getting closer. My breaths became short and my head light, this much physical activity was virtually impossible for me by now. I was more then relieved when Harry stropped. He set the wicker basket down and placed a large blanket on the sand. He helped me sit on the blanket before joining me. He pulled out a thermos, two mugs, and muffins.

My face instantly turned every shade of pink. I was so giddy and smiley.

“I thought we could watch the sunrise. We’ve got about 20 minutes,” he said looking at his watch.

He poured Yorkshire tea into our mugs, I inhaled the aroma, reminding me of home. Harry pulled my body between his legs, wrapping a blanket around us. I sunk into his body, sipping on my tea.

“I love you Harry. This is perfect, you’re perfect.” I whispered.