For You I'd Bleed Myself Dry

Today was our last day in California and my last day on tour with the guys. I jut got off the phone with Dr. Anderson who insisted I was on the next flight home. I had yet to tell Harry or any of the guys and I really wasn’t looking forward to it.

I crawled back under the sheets and linked myself to Harry. He shifted and pulled me into his bare torso. His lanky fingers traced patterns on the side of my head.

“Promise you won’t get mad?” I whispered.

“Of course not.”

I hesitated. “I have to go back today.”

His silence was torture. “I understand babe. How long do you have?”

“Uh- two hours?” I was taken back by how accepting he was being.

“Fair enough.” He mumble as he pulled our bodies as close as humanly possible. We stayed like this for an hour and forty minutes. I talked a majority of the time while Harry just lied there listening.

“Everything alright babe?” I asked. My fingers tracing the grooves in his stomach.

“You know there’s nothing I want more then to go with you right? I’m gutted that I can’t…” I cut him off.

“I know and that’s why I love you so much. This is your future Harry, you can’t just give it all up. I understand completely.”

He sank down into the bed so we were eye level facing each other. “What if you’re my future?”

My stomach started doing back flips. I had no clue what to say to something like that. It’s not like I hadn’t pictured my future with Harry because I did, everyday, there was always that nagging thought in the back of my head. Avoiding words, I grabbed Harry’s face lightly and kissed him tenderly.

We both pried ourselves out of bed and got dressed. The guys had the day off so they all decided to ride to the airport with Harry and I. I took in every moment with these guys, remembering everything, laughing at anything and appreciating it all. This could be the last time I see any of them and I hated that feeling. I said my goodbyes to each of the boys in the car, trying not to cry. Harry asked to walk me to my gate which I graciously accepted; of course Paul was never far behind.

The fan reaction wasn’t too bad because it was so last minute. I could hear the whispering and clicking of cameras behind us as we walked hand and hand but it was something I didn’t really pay attention to. Whenever Harry and I were stuck in a sea of people I couldn’t help but feel like we were the only two people there, as cliché as it sounds. I guess it’s just something you learn to do knowing everything can be just pulled out from right under your feet at any moment.

We stood there for a while facing each other and holding hands.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” Harry said quietly.

“I’ll miss you too, but it’s nothing we can’t handle.” I reassured him.

“I’ll call you whenever I can.”

“Just enjoy tour please. This is huge for you guys and I don’t want to take away from it.” I said sheepishly.

Harry shook his head in disagreement. “I love you Quinn.” He unhooked our laced fingers, his hands making their way to my cheeks, wiping away the tears. I told myself I wasn’t going to cry.

“I love you too Harry.” I sniffled. I stood on my tip toes and kissed his cheek lightly.

“Last call for flight 56 London bound,” came over the intercom.
I instinctively pouted and let a few more tears escape. Harry pulled my into a tight hug that I didn’t want to let go of.

“Please be safe. Call me when you land. My fingers are crossed babe.” He whispered in my ear.

I nodded acceptingly and kissed him appropriately for the last time. I hugged Paul and thanked him for everything before starting to walk away.

I started walking forwards the flight attendant, handing her my boarding pass.

“QUINN!” Harry yelled.

I jerked around and looked at him confused; I could feel tons of eyes on us.

“I love you” he smiled.

My face got hot and flustered, I couldn’t stop smiling. “I love you too”
--

The ten hour flight back to London was miserable. I spent so much time throwing up and falling asleep on the bathroom floor the flight attendants let me use the bathroom in the cockpit.

I walked out of the gates and surprisingly found Dr. Anderson waiting for me. She practically raced me out of the airport and to the car. She had my transplant scheduled for later that day, giving me no time to adjust to the time change or jet lag.

--

Stepping foot into the hospital sent shivers down my spine. I wanted nothing more then to turn around and run away from these walls tortured me for months on end, but that wasn’t an option. I was escorted to my room that looked exactly like I’d left it. I kicked off my shoes and crawled into that familiar bed. My body sank into the impression I had made in the mattress.

I reached towards my nightstand grabbing a pen and paper, I started to jot down a few last words for Harry just in case.

A knock on the door, “Quinn?” pause. “We’re ready for you.”