For You I'd Bleed Myself Dry

Every inch of my body was burning, itching or throbbing. I’ve been on the treatment for about five days and yet it still hasn’t felt like it’s kicked in. The worst part of it all, Harry was finally home and I couldn’t touch him. Not sexually or anything just holding his hands, feeling his fingertips trace my shoulders, or his lips on my forehead. None of that stopped Harry though; he stayed with me for as long as he could. The nurses would make him leave for a couple hours at a time but he never really left, he stood right outside me room. He only really left to sleep, but even then he left after I fell asleep and was there before I woke up.

I loved that Harry was always there for me but a part of me didn’t. Harry has seen me at my worst but even now tried to cover up as much as possible. I couldn’t help but feel repulsing. I could handle what the Leukemia did to my body, and even the pneumonia but not this; I was completely covered in fleshy wounds. I started realizing that Harry’s only ever seen me at my worst; my best to him was managing to keep down a meal. What was keeping him around?

I really shouldn’t be left with my own thoughts for this long.

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Once I was on the antibiotics for a week I was able to go into my own room. The wounds were starting to scab over and the burning sensation went down considerably. Everyone still had to wear masks but it was still progress.

Harry was late that morning.

“You’re back in your room!” his excitement muffled by the mask.

“I am.” I still smiled even though he couldn’t see it.

Harry was besides me by now. His fingers slowly walked towards my hand. I didn’t want to but I pulled away and hid it under the paper sheets.

Harry’s face was more hurt then confused, which shattered my heart. I moved my left hand toward his lingering hand. The feel of his hands still made my heart race.

“It’s just- the thing on my hand- I’m just-” I started mumbling.

Harry’s face looked relieved, which made me relieved.

“Love, you don’t have to hide from me.” he said softly.

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It’s been a little more then two weeks since I started the antibiotics and all the rashes were practically gone and any open wound had scabbed over, which meant I could go leave the hospital. It had only been a month since the transplant so all I could do now is wait.

I eagerly waited for Harry down in the lobby. I wasted no time once I saw his car pull up. He got out of the car and met me half way. He hugged me tightly and slightly lifted my feet off the ground. After he set me down he walked me to my side of the car and opened the door.

“So you really won’t tell me where we’re going?” I asked Harry as he started the ignition.

“Nope.” He flashed a cheeky grin. “But you have to put this on.” He handed me a blind fold.

I gave him a confused look. “I don’t know what you’ve heard about me Styles…” I joked.

He let out a loud laugh. His mouth shot open and his hands instinctively covered, I loved his laugh. I agreed to his games and put on the blind fold. While he was driving, Harry grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together. Every now and then he’d bring our hands to his lips and place a light kiss on my hand.

We were in the car for about fifteen minutes until he put the car in park and turned off the ignition.

“Are we here?” I asked.

“Don’t peak!” he yelled. I heard his door slam shut and mine open seconds later. He helped me out of the car, forward for a bit, up a curb and then just for fun he started spinning me in circles.

“Cut it out!” I attempted to playfully slap him, but missed horribly.

Harry just laughed. I felt his hands on my shoulders; he rubbed them for a bit before inching closer to my body. I could feel his hot breath on my neck.

He kissed my neck tenderly before whispering, “Okay, you can look now.”

I barely waited for him to finish before I tore off the blindfold.

I couldn’t believe it.