The Dedication

“Miss, what can I get you?” The barista asks, or so she’d like to call herself. My dad always told me that baristas aren’t really baristas. They’re just women who like to serve coffee and realize that they’re going nowhere in life, so they decide to make a new name for themselves. My dad’s obsessed with judging people.

I fiddle with the zipper on my jacket. “Miss?” The “barista” asks again.

Flashing her an annoyed smile, I answer, “I’ll have a double macchiato with 2 espresso shots please.” I notice a zit on her 16 year-old face and try not to wince. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t had zits before. It’s just, being 25 and being done with puberty and all the jazz, acne can gross out a grown woman sometimes.

She genuinely grins. “That’s my favorite. What’s your name?”

I grimace. “Aspyn.”

“Like in Colorado?”

I nod. “Except with a Y.”

Her face lights up. “Cool! Your order will be right out!” I step out of the line and seat myself on one of the bar stools, overlooking the vastness of Central Park and watch as people walk on by, not even acknowledging my presence. Well, it’s not like they would anyway. I’m nothing special.

I’m what you call a pessimist. I always find something wrong with any kind of situation, something wrong with myself, something wrong with the person I’m with. I get it from my father, who shouted at my boyfriend Reed for bringing him the wrong kind of cornflakes. Reed complained to me when we left that he didn’t know that there were several categories.

I mean, it’s just…

OK.

I’ll say it.

I hadn’t really imagined my life to pan out this way.

I mean, here I was, a manufacturing supervisor at a box company with a book-writing
boyfriend of 2 and ½ years who’s actually never really published anything yet. I’m Aspyn Crawford, named after the city, even though to this day I have no idea why my parents spelled it with a Y, with initials that stand for air conditioning.

Believe me; I’ve always thought I’d end up with Kellan Lophgren. Being valedictorian and lacrosse team captain, he was definitely out of my league anyway.

Even though we were only partners in science one day, I felt as though God had summoned this beautiful creature for me to spend the rest of my life with.

But, it didn’t work like that. I barely even muttered 2 words to him and pretty much just did all the work while he tried to joke with me. I just ignored him because I didn’t know how to react.

Anyways, we parted our separate ways and I’m pretty sure he forgot my name and he’s probably in like Paris while I’m in stupid New York City.

“Aspyn! Is there an Aspyn?” The “barista” calls. I stumble out of my seat and grab my coffee when-

“Aspyn Crawford! Is that really you?”

Holy mother-

“Kellan! Hi!” I squeal. Wasn’t I just thinking about him? Is God trying to tell me something?

He’s dressed in a suit and he looks a bit more aged than in highschool. He still looks as dashing as ever, with his light blue eyes and floppy brown hair. “How are you?” He mumbles, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

I’m too stunned to even speak.

“Err…Aspyn? You there?” He jokes.

I snap back to reality. “Yeah. Sorry. I was just registering from shock on how good you look!” OHMYGOODNESS DID I REALLY JUST SAY THAT. I clasp my hand over my mouth. Kellan chuckles.

“Same old Aspyn. You don’t look so bad yourself, you know.” He says, looking me dead in the eye. I feel my neck go red.

“I-”

“Walk with me?” He asks, gesturing towards the exit. I nod slightly as he leads the way out of the coffee shop, holding the door open for me as I step through. What a gentleman. Reed never did that to me. Well, that’s just because whenever he would try, the door would bump into his glasses but let’s just push aside that little fact.

We enter the grand New York City and turn right, towards Central Park, a place I grew up next to. The Empire State Building still rises high. “So what are you doing here?” I mumble, looking at the ground.

“I’m actually a hedge fund manager right now; my office is just a few blocks from here. How come I’ve never seen you here before? What do you do, Aspyn?” I’m surprised he still even remembers my name.

“Um, well…” I stare off into space.

After a few seconds of silence, Kellan lifts my chin up to look at him and looks deep into my eyes. “You can tell me.” He whispers.

My face melts. “Er, w-well I’m a manufacturing supervisor. At a box company.”

Kellan’s eyebrows rise. “Really? I always thought that you’d be out there doing something glamorous, you know? You were always so smart and I’d marvel at how fast you’d do your classwork.” Again, my face turns into a tomato. We enter the Park.

“I’m shocked that you even noticed me!” I practically yell. Wow. Is my brain wired on tight or is it just going to continue to blurt out things that’d best be kept in my head. Again, Kellan guffaws.

“Believe me Aspyn, I noticed you. A lot, actually.” My breathing quickens. There’s a moment of silence.

“So how long have you been here?” He asks. I scoff.

“Ever since we graduated from highschool. I’ve never really had the guts to leave this place even though I’m sick to death of it.” He nods.

“Yeah, I know what you’re talking about. I just moved back from Australia a few months ago after my girlfriend and I broke up, so I figured, you know, why not start fresh?”

I chuckle. “To start fresh in a city that you grew up in?” He half smiles.

“I admit. Not the best idea. But I met you again, which is something I’ve always wanted to accomplish.”

Whoa. OK. This is one of those moments where you just stay quiet and maybe the words will just disappear from everyone’s memory.

I say nothing.

It’s not working!

“Aspyn? Did you hear me?” I turn back to him and his blue eyes look so hopeful. I gulp.

“Yeah.”

“And what did you think of that?” I shrug and look the other way.

“You know, I liked you all throughout highschool.” My mouth gapes open and I stare back at him, my mouth wide. A gnat flies in and I spit it out with as much grace as I can muster.

“WHAT?” I yell.

“Yeah, I did. But I was always too nervous to go up to you or talk to you or do anything with you since you wouldn’t as so much look at me. I would just sit there staring at you hoping I would one day get the courage.” He rants. Now this time, his face gets red.

“Kellan-”

“But then after we graduated I had no contact with you and I just kind of brushed it aside, but then I broke up with Leah, my girlfriend of 3 years, and I moved back to New York with you in my mind and I found you! Aspyn, I think the world is trying to tell us something here. I mean, I’ve liked you for a long time and I was wondering if you could give me a chance?” Oh God. OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.

I look into his sad and expectant eyes and see my reflection in them. The silence is unbearable. Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something! Maybe we were brought here for a reason! Maybe I am supposed to spend the rest of my life-

RING! RING! RING!

Shit.

“Your phone.” Kellan mumbles. I pull it out and glance at the caller ID.

Reed.

Shit.

“Who is it?” He asks. I try to fake a smile.

“My mom. I really have to take this. I’ll be right back.”
I flip open my phone and growl, “HELLO?”

“Aspyn! Come home right now! There’s something I need to show you! It’s important!”

I scoff. “Right now? What could be so important that you’re interrupting my coffee break?”

Reed laughs. “I’m sorry, babe. It would just be wonderful if you could come back to the apartment really quick. I need to show you something.” His voice is soft and endearing.

I growl again. “Fine. But I’m going to have to dash right back out-”

“OH! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! You won’t regret it, I promise!” The phone disconnects.

I walk back to Kellan. “Sorry Kellan, I’ve got to rush. My mom is having a nervous breakdown.” Nervous breakdown? Where the hell did I get that?

Kellan looks taken aback. “Nervous breakdown? Er…”

“Itrunsinthefamily.” I jumble. Kellan looks at me understandingly.

“Well, here.” He says, taking out a piece of paper and scribbling on it. He hands it to me.

“It’s my number. Call me when you’re done with your mom.” I nod, looking once again in his blue eyes.

He smiles. “Well, I should get going too. The office needs me.” I shove the piece of paper in my pocket and watch him leave.

✽✽✽

“WHAT?” I yell into our apartment, slamming the door and setting my bag down on the couch.

“What is so important that you had to show me now?”

Reed steps out of the kitchen with a frazzled yet elated look on his face. His blond hair is messed up as if he’s been jumping up and down and his glasses rest on his pale nose.

“Come here.” He says, pulling my wrist and dragging me to his study.

“You’re so annoying Reed. I was in the middle of drinking my macchiato-” Reed interrupts me by shoving a book in my face.

“What? Is it supposed to turn into a fairy?” Reed laughs and rolls his eyes.

“Look at the author, Aspyn.” I glance down on the bottom of the book and instantly smile, taking it into my hands. The author’s name? Reed McPeak.

“Reed! Oh my gosh! You got published! This is great! Wow!” I say, clutching the book in my hands and scanning the front cover with my eyes.

“I know right? It’s awesome! But, I want you to look at the first page.”

I flip open the book. It reads: For Aspyn. Thank you for putting up with me and my laziness for 2 and ½ years. I love you so much.

Before I can even let go of the book, I fling myself into his arms and smelly unwashed t-shirt and sobbed.

Holy crap, I’ve never sobbed like this before.

I cry and cry into Reed’s bony chest as he locks his arms around me and hugs me and rests his head on top of mine. I squeeze him even tighter.

“I’m glad you like it.” He mumbles, stroking my back soothingly.

“I love it. I love it so much.” I scream, but I’m pretty sure it comes out as gibberish because of all my crying. Reed kisses the top of my forehead.

“I just worked on this book for years because I wanted to get it perfect, so when I dedicated it to you, it would actually mean something and not some piece of junk.” I cry even more.

“You’re not lazy.” I say as I look up at his face, still with my arms around his waist. He wipes draining mascara from my eyes.

“Yes I am.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes I am.”

“NO! You’re not!”

“Well maybe in the bedroom, no.”

Instead of smacking him, I just giggle. He lovingly smiles.

“I love you Aspyn.”

“I love you too Reed.”

Then he cups my face and kisses the life out of me, so hard that he pushes me against his desk.

I reach into my pocket, crumple Kellan’s phone number, and toss in on the ground all while making out.

Pff. Stupid universe. All I need right now is this guy.