I'll Keep You My Dirty Little Secret

It was times like these when it was easy to see why Alex Gaskarth didn’t mind being Christofer Drew’s dirty little secret. It was even easier to forget how uncomfortable he was pressed up against the cold, hard edge of the sink in the All Time Low tour bus when Chris’s thigh was pressing firmly against his problem that only seemed to get worse as the other boy kept teasing his hip bones with his calloused finger tips. A shiver racked through his body when Chris tangled his long fingers in the hair at the nape of Alex’s neck and in response Alex pulled the shorter boy closer to him to let him know that he liked that, he liked it a lot.

These quickie sessions between each other had been going on since the beginning of Warped Tour when the two boys had accidently run into the other while walking lost around the half-full venue they were supposed to be playing at later that day. They had decided that being lost with a familiar face is better than being on your own so they wandered aimlessly around together until they found themselves back to where their buses were parked for the night and they split ways with friendly waves.

Later on the night they had met, Alex was lounging on his unmade bunk bed with a hand tucked behind his head and the other scrolling through his twitter homepage without really paying attention to what he was reading. Finally, getting bored of it he tweeted something silly about being too wired to sleep and too damn lazy to do anything about it, not really thinking anyone would take notice to it. Seconds after he had tossed his phone to the floor, his phone pinged to tell him he got a notification. Christofer had replied that he was sitting wide awake in his bunk with nothing to do, so why don’t they meet up? It was easy sneaking out of the bunk past his sleeping band mates; Jack with the curtain on his bunk open and a hand shamelessly down his pants, a passed out Zack on one of the pull out couches with Rian snoring on the floor curled around an empty box of pizza and quite frankly, Alex could be damned if he knew where anyone else was at the moment.

That night was the first time the two had done anything remotely sexual with each other; a touch here, a kiss there. Christofer was bi and had been openly for a long time, although he had said many times he preferred girls more. His sexuality preference wasn’t a secret and even the fans had come to accept it pretty quickly. It was different for Alex, however. He had done nothing with another boy before, besides watching the sway of their hips as they walked away from him. He had always felt different with girls; their touches did nothing for him besides give him a quick and needed release.

No one knew about his secret until the night when Christofer with his shaggy hair covering his eyes and a cigarette between the two fingers of his right hand had asked him quite bluntly about his sexuality. Alex had blurted out gay without hesitation, and then clamped his hand over his mouth, not wanting to look at the other guy who was thoughtfully taking a drag from the smoking cigarette.

When he was finally done and Alex’s nerves were wearing down thinly, Christofer had shrugged, “I thought so.” Was all he said and then he had leaned in slowly to Alex, letting him get comfortable with the feeling of being that close to another guy. Alex had gulped when Christofer placed his hand lightly on the jean clad thighs of Alex’s but his eyes closed slowly when Christofer leaned closer and pressed his lips gently against his own.

That was the start, the very beginning of stolen minutes between sets and meet and greets when they would make up excuses to the rest of their band and meet up somewhere where they could be together for a few moments. Currently, they were supposed to be doing sound check but neither of them could be bothered. Their managers would be pissed, sure, but Alex would be a walking disaster if Christofer let him go now without the high he’s been craving all day for.

Alex groaned lowly as Christofer moved his hand to the waistband of his boxers, his fingers trailing slowly from his belly button and lower. The motion absolutely killed him. “Chris, don’t tease, you asshole.” He mumbled and he could feel the boy grin against his throat as the corner of Christofer’s mouth turned up into a smirk.

“You don’t like that?” Christofer murmured, moving his hand down even lower until Alex couldn’t do anything but buck his hips against his teasing hand and hope that Christofer would stop being an agonizing douche and just help him already.

Alex whimpered and Chris moved his hand slightly until it was exactly where Alex needed it to be. “Oh my god.” He moaned, his head pressed back against the mirror behind their sink.

Christofer made quick work with his hand and soon Alex was a sweaty and panting mess. No wonder Chris was a musician. His hands were absolutely heavenly. What felt like no longer than a minute later, Alex finally reached his peak with the help of well placed fingers and hot kisses trailed along the side of his throat. When Christofer was sure he was done, his hand pulled out and he reached around the still heavily breathing Alex to wash his hands off in the sink.

Before he could even blink, Christofer was moving away from Alex and to the door. Confused Alex could only stare after him. Yes, Christofer had always left but never so quickly and never without some lame excuse that Alex would usually shrug off.

“You can stay.” Alex finally whispered, struggling with his words and his pants as he worked to get them back up around his thighs.

Christofer shook his head without even turning around to look at him and rest his hand on the doorknob of the bathroom door, “I don’t think so, Alex. You know I don’t.”

He rushed to think of something, anything he could say to make him stay with him. Only for a few minutes, that’s all he needed. “Chris I-I think-“

At the sound of his nervous stutter, Christofer paused again, one turn of the hand away from walking away from Alex for the night and leaving him there by himself.

“I think I might love you.” He finally managed to say, his throat closing when the only response he got was Christofer turning to face him and shaking his head once again.

“You don’t.” He responded seriously, his eyes dark in the low lights of the bathroom.

“Why?” Alex demanded, stepping closer to the boy so he could push the hair out of his eyes, ‘Why can’t I love you?”

Chris smiled sadly and pushed his hand away gently, “Because I don’t love you.” He said simply and then he stepped back and opened the door letting it close it softly behind his retreating form.