How Could You?

This journal has my head in a whirl; it’s like a soap opera! I haven’t had much time to keep reading but it’s all I want to do lately, I need to know what happened. I’ve read a few more days since Ben showed up, he is asking me if he is allowed to read them when I am done with the first journal. I said it would be okay, apparently she has already told him a lot of it, or so he tells me. In the next days I read she has only talked about how bad she feels about lying to everyone, especially Ben and I. She also records each and every injury. I opened up to where I left off.
“3/4/05
He has gone too far now…I can’t say for sure what happened but there really isn’t any other conclusion I can come to, no way I make him to be anything more than a human monster. I went over and there was a terrible stench that I have come to know all too well, how strong it was only told me he wasn’t alone. I came into his house, not even bothering knocking anymore. I looked across to the living room which was to my right to see him and two of his friends smoking weed and drinking beer. It was nothing new to me. I just stood in the door frame wanting to take a deep breath, but I didn’t want to get high. I wanted to leave, and never come back. I took another step into the room and it made a slight creaking noise, almost yelling for the boys to notice me, it only seemed that way because they all turned to look at me at the same exact time. I had cold glares from the boys, except Josh, who was smiling widely and warmly at me slightly reminding me of a kid on Christmas; it also reminded me of whom he used to be. I vaguely remember two other girls walking after a awhile and a game of truth or dare, then a game of 7 minutes in Heaven, I ended up in a closet with Josh and that’s all I remember of that night. The next thing I remembered it waking up in his bed with my clothes ripped and on the floor. I was beyond pissed but wouldn’t, no, I couldn’t do anything, if I did; I don’t know what would happen. I just took some of his clothes and walked home although there was an unbelievable pain between my thighs.
On my way home I passed my mom on the street, it was quite strange seeing my mom when she was ‘working’ by that I mean prancing around town in my clothes. Which is way too small for her. I saw her talking to a guy, well, flirting with a guy. She had her hand on his arm and was nearly snaked around him. It was sickening.
When I got home I saw Stella curled up in my bed. I just lay down next to her, closing my eyes wishing that this was only a nightmare and I would wake up, and then things would be normal.”

I stopped reading when my cell phone went off, playing Hello Fascination
“You’re building me up,
Just to break it down,
You’re being loud without a sound,
You paste me in just to cut me out,
Hello fascination.” I knew it was Ben right away
He is the only one who really texts me right now. I clicked the ‘answer’ button.
“Hey, Ben. What do you need?” I asked
“I just wanted to check up on you, are you doing alright?” he asked
Ben has been checking up on me at least 3 times a day. He claims it’s because Cassie cared about me a lot and would want him to watch over me. I really doubt how much she cared though. I mean she didn’t tell me about any of this before she died.
“I’m fine, but something really important just happened in the journal, so can I call you back?” I rolled my eyes; he has the worst timing to call
“Sure.” He said before hanging up
I went back to the journal.
“3/6/05
There was a new kid in school who started last week, his name is Pierce. As I was walking to the elementary school to pick up Stella, he started walking next to me. Here is kind of that conversation went:
Him: Cassie…right?
Me: Yes, you are you are Pierce.
He then pulled me into an alley but I wasn’t afraid, there was something about him that showed me he wouldn’t hurt me.
Him: Josh. I know what he does. We can protect you if you join us. If you are with us for two months then we can take you and your sister away. We have been watching you and we like what we see.
I asked him who “we” was and he explained it all. He was part of a gang, and they found me interesting, they had people following me for a while where they found out everything. They want to help me. I would have agreed, but nothing comes without a price. A lot of the things (if not all) gangs do are illegal. I have to think of Stella, it would take away my worries of what my mom could do to her, or what else could happen when I’m not around, and it would also help me, I would have Stella protected, and I would no longer have to worry about Josh anymore. After two months, we could both be safe. What if I get arrested though? Is that really how I want Stella to grow up? I told Pierce I would think about it.”
Would she really do all of that for me?