Yours Truly

Squeezing my way into the small crowded venue, I look up at the stage. Sam’s up there singing his heart out. I’m so mad at him right now, but I can’t not go to his concert, especially since I’m leaving in a month. College is going to suck without him with me though, and him touring all over the country. What can I do though? He knows I’m mad at him, so I’ll just be sure none of the boys see me.

I should probably explain. My name’s Leah and my best friend is Sam Miller, lead singer of Paradise Fears. We’ve been best friends since forever, the first day of kindergarten. The other girls and guys had been picking on my since I didn’t like wearing dresses and coloring. But he didn’t care. He just came up to me and said hi. And we’ve been friends, best of friends since then. That’s also my problem. We’re only friends, and it’s all we’ll ever be.

When I finally reach the dark venue of the corner I had been trying to get to, I look distastefully at the girls around me, all screaming their heads off. When I look up again though, Sam is staring at my corner. Shit. Of course he’d find me. Now knowing that my cover is blown, I look pointedly away from him. Realizing that not all was forgiven, he turned back to his fans as I rolled my eyes.

“The next song is for my best friend Leah, since this is her favorite song. It’s new, and we’ll be slowing down, but sing along if you know it.”, he says looking straight at me. “And Lee, please stop being mad at me. You know we both hate it.”, he adds. Michael starts playing the keyboard intro to it, and I feel my heart melt. Sam was right. We hate fighting with each other. It just feels weird.

“Dear Tomorrow, You’ve been shining so brightly, I’ll be holding on tightly…”, he starts. Slumping, I know that he just won, and that I’d be sticking around after the show. I raise my eyes at him, giving him a curt nod, eliciting a triumphant smile from him. Slowly, I begin pushing my way up towards the front of the crowd so it’d be easier to head backstage after.

“LEE!”, says Sam. “I’m so so so sorry!”, he says, squeezing me in a huge hug.

“Ewwww!”, I squeal, trying to push him off of me. “You’re sweaty. Go and change. This is gross!”

Giving me a crooked smile, “You know you love me.”

Staring sternly at him, “Go. Your fans are waiting.”

“Alright.”, he says easily. Placing his hands on my shoulder and steering me towards the couch, Sam sits me down. “Stay here. We’ll be back.” Suddenly, he leans down an gives me a light kiss on the cheek. “Thanks Lee.”

What was that all about? I lean down on the couch and close my eyes, wanting a few minutes of rest. It had been an insane week, after all.

But apparently, I fell asleep, as I felt someone picking me up off the couch and carrying me outside. I snuggle closer to whoever it is. “Sam?”, I murmur.

“Oh. You’re awake. I didn’t want to wake you up, but…”, he trails off uncertainly. “Sorry. Do you want to walk?”

Giggling, “No. I don’t want to walk. You’re comfy. It’s fine. I didn’t mean to fall asleep while waiting. Where are the others?”

He grumbles jokingly. “They’re waiting for me in the van. Want me to take you to your car?”

Rolling my eyes, “No. Walk the ten miles to get me home. Duhh.”

“Don’t be sassy with me Lee. I can just drop you right here.”, he chuckles.

“You wouldn’t dare.”, I say narrowing my eyes with me. He just shrugs. “Want to tell the guys to leave without you? I can take you home.”

“Yea.”, he says happily. When we reached my car, he pulls out his phone to text the guys. Pulling open the door, he says, “After you milady.”

“You’re such a dork.”, ruffling his hair as I slide into my seat and he gets in on the other side.

We talk easily, but avoiding the two sore topics of tour and college. When I pull up outside his house, he asks, “Please come in? My mom probably misses you. I swear she loves you more than she loves me sometimes.”

“Of course she does! Who doesn’t?”, throwing him a teasing smile. Since my parents are almost never home, and don’t really care where I am, I nod my head.

He pulls me through the door and upstairs. “Hi Mrs. Miller!”, I shout quickly as we passed her.

“Slow down Sam! Let me see the girl.”, she scolds. Sighing, Sam pulls me back to his mom. “You look wonderful Leah.”, she says giving me a hug.

I lean into her. She was like my second mom, practically first, since my parents were almost never home, always working.

Tugging on my hand again, Sam says again, impatiently, “Let’s go Lee.”

Closing the door of his room as soon as we walk in, he pulls me into his bed on top of him. Shifting so that his face is staring into mine, he says seriously, “We really need to talk Leah.”

Sighing, I look down and play with the fringe of my shirt. “I don’t want to have this argument again Sam.”, I mumble.

“Please Lee.”, he says, practically begging. “Don’t get mad at me again. I just want you to be our merch girl during the tour.”

Pushing my hands through my hair exasperatingly, “But I have to go to college Sam. I have my whole future ahead of me. And it does not involve me being your merch bitch for the rest of my life.”

“But I need you Leelee.”, he says softly, using his old nickname for me.

“You’ll be too busy touring and having fun with the other bands anyways. Plus your ten million fangirls! You really don’t need me.”, I insist. “Plus, it’s Yale. You know that I’ve dreamt of this my whole life. I’ve worked my ass off in school and I got into one of the top schools, and I am going.”

“But I love you Lee.”, he tries again.

“I love you too Sam.”, I smile sadly at him. “And because I do, I’d never stop you from your dream, which is this. Music. But you also have to let me live mine.”

“Remember when I first showed you Yours Truly?”, he asks suddenly.

Confused by the sudden change in topic, “Of course. That was the week that I found out Yale accepted my early application.”

“I wrote it for you Lee. I knew you’d end up choosing college over me, but that didn’t stop me from asking. I guess that makes me selfish, but I mean it Lee. I need you in my life. I love you.” Shaking his head when I open my mouth, he says, “Not like that Lee. I love you, love you. The in love kind of love.” Seeing my stunned face, he rushes out, “It’s fine if you don’t feel the same way. I just needed you to know before you left.”

“That’s not fair.”, I say thickly, shaking my head.

“I know Lee. But you had to know before you left. My heart is yours. It’s always been.”, says Sam while stroking my hair.

“Do you really think I’m choosing college over you Sam? I just need to get away from this town, this state. But not from you, never from you.”

“I know.”, he says quietly. “But this is my town, my state. Leaving here, whether you want to face it or not, means that you’re leaving me behind, too.”

“But I’m not.”, I cry. “You’re touring. You’re leaving too.”

“But I’m coming back. And you won’t.”, he says, rocking me slowly. “And I know that already, don’t tell me any differently.” As I bury my face deeper into his chest, he sings quietly, “But my one wish for you is that you find yourself. Don’t settle for less or for anyone else. I pray that you dream like the dreamer I know you can be.”

Crying even harder now, I look up at him and ask, “Why does being so free mean so far away from you?”

“Promise me that you’ll come to our shows that are nearby.”, says Sam.

“Of course I will.”, I say, my tears beginning to stop. “Can we promise each other something more?”

“Anything for you Lee.”, he says, and I could see the hurt in his eyes. I hated knowing that his killed him, that he’d do anything for me without knowing how I’d return it. But I want to change that.

“Promise me…promise me we’ll wait for each other, no matter what.”, I say quietly. “You won’t meet a girl on tour, and I won’t meet a guy at Yale.”

I see a happy smile come across his face, and the hurt in his eyes receding, even though the sadness was there. “Of course. I’m Yours Truly.”

I smile back at him, tears pooling in my eyes again. “Sam…”, I whisper.

“Don’t cry.”, he shushes me. “I hate seeing you cry. I promise. And don't forget, we still have a full month. Now look at me.”

When I look up, he cups my face gently in his hands and pulls me into a kiss full of promise and love. And I knew. We’d be each other’s forever.