If You Only Knew

Darren's POV

"That's a wrap for today!" Ryan declared as soon as the lights came back on. We had just finished doing Don't Stop Believin' and I was soaked with sweat. The bright lights that flooded the stage were intensely hot to stand under.

"Don't forget to set aside whatever you need cleaned for tomorrow for the wardrobe caretakers to pick up," Ryan called out after us as we began to drift away.

"Ya, that will be like half of my wardrobe," I joked, nudging Chris in the side. Chris looked me up and down and smirked.

"Ya, more like all of it!" he teased. I just rolled my eyes at him. It seemed like being in New York brought out a more goofy, playful side to Chris.

"So what's up with you and Kaley?" he asked suddenly, catching me off guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows at him.

"Well, she came to see you during rehearsal," Chris began with a smile. "And she invited you out for ice cream, which you totally have to do and-"

"I already told her that I would," I cut him off with a smile.

"Like on a date?" he gasped excitedly.

"No, Chris," I laughed. "I mean, she's cool and all, but we're just friends as far as I can tell." I shrugged. "We're just two friends going for ice cream together, that's all."

"So you're saying that you wouldn't go on an actual date with her?" Chris asked, kind of disappointedly. "It's just two friends 'hanging out'?"

"I'm not saying that," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. How could I get across my thoughts and feelings to Chris? Yes, Kaley was cute and really sweet, but I still didn't know her very well and I'd much rather be friends first and then, if there were any further feelings there, well then I'd cross that bridge when I got to it. Besides, there was still this other girl on my mind. I could not stop thinking about her, as much as I tried to, and it was really starting to bother me.

There was just something about her voice that I just kinda fell in love with, even though I didn't even know who she was. I had to find out who this girl was first before I could even think about dating someone else because it wasn't fair to them for me to lead them on when I couldn't even stop thinking about this other girl.

"It's just now's not really a good time for me to be thinking about seeing anyone," I finally said.

"Oh, right," Chris sighed. "Seeing as your still getting over Vanessa and all... Ya, that wouldn't be fair to Kaley."

Vanessa? I had actually almost forgotten about her. I think that though my heart had still been attached to her, my mind had already concluded that our relationship had ended a long time ago, and now it was ready to start a new one.

"Y-Yeah, right, Vanessa..." I kind of stuttered.

"Wait a second!" Chris exclaimed, stepping in front of me to make me stop. "This is about that singer, isn't it? Seriously, Darren? Again?"

"I told you that I couldn't stop thinking about her," I just shrugged, moving past him.

"Darren!" Chris huffed, turning to follow me. "There is this perfectly, sweet girl right in front of your eyes and yet you chose someone you haven't even seen over her?! Are you crazy?"

"Maybe," I shrugged again. "Besides, I don't even know if Kaley's even into me that way. Like, I know that she's a fan and all, but what I want is to be with someone who likes me for who I am and not just because I'm on Glee or because they like my voice. No, I want someone who likes me for me."

"So you want someone who doesn't just like you for your voice and yet you're chasing after some girl because of hers?" Chris exclaimed, disbelief plastered all over his face. "Really, Darren? Really?"

"I can't explain it, Chris," I sighed. "Cause it doesn't even make sense to me. But you know, the heart wants what the heart wants."

"You, sir, are impossible," Chris stated.

"I can't help it," I shrugged. "I am who I am."

"And who you are is crazy," Chris added with a light shake of his head. "Kaley, I pity you, you poor, poor girl."

"Why?" I asked, coming to a stop outside of our dressing rooms.

"Really?" he sighed. "Darren, you seriously are hopelessly oblivious!" With that, he opened his door and went into his dressing room, leaving me standing alone in the hallway.

What did he mean by that? I wondered, as I entered my own room. Instead of dwelling on his comment, I just shook it off with a sigh, turning my attention instead on my wardrobe. The jackets were fine, but all of the shirts and a few of the pants could use a run through the wash. I quickly collected these, adding the ones that I was currently wearing after changing out of them, and hanging them all on an empty clothing rack. They ended up filling the rack. Looking at it, I felt surprised by how many were on it.

I feel bad for whoever has to clean all of these, I thought to myself. That's when I realized that it would be Kaley who would have to deal with all of this. Well, Kaley and her friend, Leah.

Maybe I should stick around and help her carry these...

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"It's open!" I called out and the door slowly opened, a familiar face peeking out from behind it.

"Is it safe?" Kaley's voice was light and warm. Her hand was covering her bright brown eyes, but I could see them peeking slightly through the slits in between her fingers.

"Yes, it is," I laughed. I watched a smile spread across her lips as she let her hand fall and she quickly slipped the rest of the way into the room.

"Good," she smiled. It seemed like every time that I saw her that she was getting more and more comfortable being around me, which I was happy about.

"I'm guessing that you're here for my clothes?" I asked, a smile trickling onto my lips.

"Well... The ones for the show, yes," she blushed slightly. "You can keep the ones that you're wearing." I was puzzled by her comment for a moment, but then I realized how my question could have sounded to her and I found myself blushing.

"I didn't mean-" I started.

"Darren, I'm teasing you!" she laughed. "I know what you meant! Lighten up a little!"

"Oh, I knew that!" I bluffed, with a light laugh. "My clothes are hanging on that rack." I pointed at it, watching Kaley as her eyes followed my finger. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open a little when she saw the rack.

"Holy crap, Darren!" she exclaimed. "You go through more clothes than Lea does! ...Your Lea, not mine."

"Well, half of her wardrobe is made up of dresses," I pointed out.

"Touché," she slightly nodded at me, walking over to the rack. "Do you mind if I just take the whole thing? It'd be easier than trying to carry them all..."

"That's why I put them all on there," I replied, moving to the opposite side of the rack. "Would you like some help moving it?" She seemed surprised by my offer.

"S-Sure," she smiled. "That would be awesome."

Maneuvering that thing was actually harder than I thought it would be, and I was glad that I had offered to help her. She would have had a terrible time with it on her own. We talked a little bit as we took the rack to the laundry room, though it was all just basic, general stuff like how rehearsal went, how excited we were about the show going up tomorrow, just random stuff like that. Though I would have rather have gotten to know more about Kaley, as she kept a lot of facts about herself a secret from me, I actually enjoyed our light conversation. It felt relaxed and natural, not forced or anything.

I found myself feeling very comfortable talking to Kaley. Maybe I had brushed Chris' comment off too quickly. Kaley was pretty cute after all, and she seemed really genuine and sweet. And she had an amazing laugh. I don't know why, but I just loved hearing her laugh. Whenever she laughed, I just couldn't help but smile too. It's like her happiness was contagious. You just couldn't help but feel happy and good around her. Maybe that's why I ended up staying for over an hour helping her collect all of the outfits from other people's dressing rooms.

It was getting pretty late by the time Kaley finally shooed me away.

"Darren, you should go home," Kaley sighed, looking up from the shirt that she was currently folding. "It's late and you need your sleep. The show goes up tomorrow and you need to be well rested for it."

"But there's still so much to be done!" I exclaimed, my arms gesturing at all of the clothes piled around the room.

"Leah and I can handled it," she laughed. "It is our job, after all. Now go!" She gave me a light, playful shove towards the door.

"Go!" she repeated with another laugh when I paused in the doorway. "We can handle it."

"You're sure?" I asked, not really wanting to leave yet. "It's getting pretty late..."

"Yes, I'm sure," she sighed. "We're going to be leaving soon anyways and we'll just finish what's left in the morning."

"Ok, well, drive safe then!" I waved as I turned to leave.

"I don't have a car, but thanks anyways," her voice laughed.

"Then how will you get home?" I asked, turning back around slightly.

"We'll call a cab or walk," she shrugged. "We don't live too far from here, so it's no big deal."

"Alright then," I smiled, an idea popping into my head. "I'll see you tomorrow then!"

"Good night, Darren," she smiled, raising a hand to wave goodbye. I liked the way that she said my name. It made my stomach do a flip flop, which was something that I was not expecting, and yet I kind of liked it.

"Good night, Kaley," I smiled warmly at her before turning away. Though I did not look back, I was pretty sure that she was still watching me until I disappeared from her sight, the thought of which made me smile.

Why am I feeling like this? I wondered as I stepped outside. The cool, evening breeze swirled around me as I exited the theatre and I found myself feeling thankful for the warmth that my jacket gave as I pulled it tighter around me.

Within seconds, a limo pulled up before me and I quickly got in.

"Hey, Steven!" I called out, knocking on the tinted glass that separated me from the driver. It quickly rolled down to reveal an older man with balding white hair.

"What can I do for you, Sir?" he asked, his kind, wrinkled face smiling at me, and I instantly felt sure that he would go along with my plans. Taking a deep breath, I put my plan into action.

"I have a favour to ask of you."