If You Only Knew

Kaley's POV

I ended up going home early. Leah told everyone that I was sick from eating too much cake. Truthfully, I really was sick, but it was not because of too much cake. I think I had made myself sick from crying too much.

I cuddled up with the pillows on my couch, wincing slightly because of the headache that I had gotten from crying. In front of me on the coffee table sat a large mug of green tea, heavily sweetened with honey, and a bowl of chicken noodle soup. The TV was on, but I wasn't really paying attention to it, my focus more on the notebook in my lap.

I had started to scribble out a couple of lines, not of a story as I would have liked, but rather of just how I was feeling.

If you only knew how I felt about you, how crazy you drove me. If you only knew that I even existed...

These were thoughts that had been running through my mind for days, months even. I had had feelings for Darren long before I had actually met him, long before he had known that I even existed. And even now that he did know me, it still seemed like sometimes he didn't even know I existed.

I sighed as I tossed the notebook to the other end of the couch. I needed to stop thinking about him. I finally turned my attention towards the TV as I grabbed the bowl of soup from the coffee table. An irritatingly perky Hannah Montana was dancing around on the screen, belting out the show's theme song, Best of Both Worlds. I hadn't realized that it was on the Family channel and I found myself grumbling as I reached for the remote to change the channel. I usually loved this channel, but I wasn't in the mood for its perky shows right now.

I slowly flipped through the channels until I saw Matthew Gray Gubler's face flash across the screen. I smiled as I settled down to watch the episode of Criminal Minds. Spencer Reid was my favourite character on this show, apart from Garcia... and JJ... and Morgan... ok, so I basically loved them all. But Reid was definitely my most favourite.

The show was about halfway done by the time that my phone started buzzing. I looked at my watch and saw that it was 4:00. The guys would have finished their first show and realized that I was gone by now.

Sure enough, when I flipped open my phone, I had two texts: one from Chris and one from Darren. I opened Chris' first.

Chris: Hey Kaley! I can't believe you're sick on your birthday! That's no fun! I had so many plans of things that we were going to do today :( Hope you feel better soon! <3

I smiled as I read his text. He was such a sweetheart.

Taking a deep breath, I opened Darren's text.

Darren: Hey Birthday Girl! Pretty crappy way to spend your birthday, being sick and all. I was so looking forward to hanging out with you between shows today! Hopefully we can hang tomorrow if you're better? Feel better soon :)

Despite how upset I had been over Darren earlier, his text actually did make me feel better. Maybe he never would have feelings for me like I did for him, but he was still my friend and that was pretty incredible. Like come on! I was friends with Darren freaking Criss! The thought made me smile.

Maybe I should go back for the second show... I thought as I looked over at the clothes that I had ditched on the floor. As soon as I had gotten home, I had immediately changed into a comfy pair of PJs, leaving my previous clothing scattered across the apartment. I was such a wreck when I had gotten home that I didn't really care about leaving my jeans lying in the middle of the hallway.

If not, I should at least pick those up before Leah gets home... I noted to myself. I felt my eyelids slowly start to droop. I guess all of that crying had really worn me out.

I'll do that in a minute... was the last thought that I had before I slipped into an exhausted slumber.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Kaley. Kaley," his sweet voice whispered in my ear. I slowly opened my eyes and found myself staring into a pair of beautiful hazel eyes.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," he smiled.

"Darren?" I blinked repeatedly, not sure if I was really awake. I slowly sat up, realizing that I was still on the couch in the living room.

"I must have dozed off," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. "How did you get in here?" Darren just smiled as he held up a set of keys.

"Leah gave them to me," he explained. "Her and Chris had to finish the costumes, so she let me have them to come check on you. How are you feeling?"

"Better now," I told him, a small smile slipping onto my face.

Now that your here, I finished in my head.

"Good," his smile grew even bigger. "I hope that you're not too sick for a special birthday surprise?"

"I think I could manage," I smiled playfully. "Only because it's from you."

"Well," he said, sitting down on the couch beside me. "There's been something that I've been wanting to give you for a while now..."

"Ok..." I was extremely curious now. "What is it?"

"This." He slowly leaned towards me, his hand sliding up and cupping my face towards his. His face slowly drew closer to mine and his eyes slowly started to close, mine instinctively following his lead. His lips softly pressed against mine and I felt my breath catch in my throat.

He was gentle at first, but soon deepened the kiss and I found myself struggling to breathe. I slowly laid back down, pulling him down with me, never losing contact with him. My fingers ran through his curly hair, which was surprisingly void of hair gel, and pulled him even closer to me, causing him to kiss me even more fiercely.

He broke away from me suddenly and tore off his shirt, exposing his bare chest. I slowly ran my hand along his abs, shivering with excitement. I had never felt this way before and it actually did scare me.

"Where were we?" he smiled down at me playfully.

"We were right here," I said, reaching up and pulling him back down to me. His lips crashed against mine again and I could feel myself melting into him as his fingers weaved through my hair.

This moment was perfect.

"Kaley!"

My eyes shot open. Darren was gone.

I slowly turned my head to the side to find a snickering Leah staring at me.

"What?" I snapped at her.

"You were kissing your pillow and mumbling Darren's name," she giggled. "It's a good thing that I didn't invite them over to see you! That would have been awkward!" I felt my cheeks flare with heat. It had all been just a dream. My heart grew a little heavier at the discovery of this.

"So is pillow Darren a good kisser?" Leah smirked.

"Oh, shut up!" I exclaimed, chucking the pillow at her.

"Ewww!" she squealed, holding the pillow away from herself. "It's all wet! You were drooling!"

"I was not!" I argued, sitting up.

"It's wet!" she replied, throwing the pillow back at me. I caught it before it hit me in the face and proceeded to stick my tongue out at her triumphantly.

"Or maybe it's just all of the slobber from kissing Darren!" she teased as she crinkled her nose at me. "I didn't think that you would be such a sloppy kisser!"

"Oh, you're dead!" I nearly shouted as I got up from the couch and proceeded to chase her around the apartment. I'm pretty sure that our neighbours wanted to kill us by then because of all of the squealing and shrieking sounds we were making.

I finally cornered her in her bedroom, slowly backing her up against her bed that sat against the far wall.

"There's no where left to run," I said very evilly, slowly advancing on her. Her eyes were wild, darting frantically around the room, looking for some sort of escape. I did not give her the chance to find one. I quickly tackled her, sending us both crashing down onto her bed. She squealed as I shoved the drool-soaked pillow in her face.

"Kaley! Kaley, stop!" she squealed, trying to push me and the pillow away.

"Never!" I laughed evilly.

Suddenly a loud knock sounded through the apartment and I felt my heart stop. I quickly looked at my watch. It was after midnight.

"Oh crap!" I silently cursed as I rolled off the bed and hurried down the hallway to the front door. I quickly peeked through the peep hole, half relieved, but also half scared as I saw who it was.

"Hi, Mrs. Porter," I greeted sheepishly as I opened the door. Standing in the hallway in her bright pink bathrobe, she actually looked like the typical, grumpy Superintendent that you would see in a movie.

Her aging white hair was held up in multiple pink rollers and her scowling face was covered with wrinkles (probably from scowling so much). Her pale grey eyes were glaring at me, her lips pursed as if she had just sucked on a lemon. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she unhappily stood there, tapping her foot impatiently, waiting for me to apologize, which I immediately began to do.

"I am so sorry, Mrs. Porter," I hung my head, trying to avoid her penetrating glare. "It won't happen again."

"It'd better not," she scowled at me. "Unless you and your friend want to start looking for a new place to live!" And with that, she turned on her heel and stormed away, as fast as an elderly woman could storm away that is. She stopped halfway down the hallway and turned back for a second.

"Oh and Happy Birthday, Miss Grant," she spat before turning again and continuing her trek down the hallway.

"Thanks," I mumbled sarcastically as I closed the door, slowly slumping back against it and letting out a deep breath. It was actually a miracle that we hadn't been kicked out yet with all of the noise that we tended to make.

It was a couple of seconds before Leah's head finally poked out from her bedroom.

"Well, she didn't kill you, that's a good sign," she attempted to joke. I just rolled my eyes at her.

"Next time, you're answering the door!" I told her as I pushed away from the door. "If I get her death glare one more time, I might actually die!"

Before she could reply, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I quickly pulled it out and smiled. It was from Darren.

Leah saw my smile and just rolled her eyes as she slipped back into her room.

"Tell real Darren that I said hi," she called out as she shut her door. It was my turn to roll my eyes at her, but I followed her actions by returning to my own room, softly closing the door behind me. I quickly slipped under my bed covers, making myself comfortable, before actually opening his text.

Darren: Hey Kaley. Just wanted to see how you're feeling. We missed you today. Hope you still had a great birthday, despite you getting sick and all.

Me: Hey Darren. I'm doing a lot better now, thanks. I think I just needed to get some proper sleep for once. And yes, I did have a great birthday, despite getting sick and all.

Darren: Good :) will you be back tomorrow?

Me: Yep, I should be:) Why? Miss me?

Darren: Of course I did ;)

My stomach did that weird butterflies thing. He had missed me!

Stop it, Kaley, I scolded myself. That doesn't mean anything!

Or does it? my mind argued with itself. I groaned, knocking my fist against my head as if that would knock the crazy thoughts out.

My phone buzzed again, and this time, it wasn't from Darren.

Leah: Kaley, go to bed! I can hear you typing from over here! Tell Lover Boy goodnight and shut off your phone!

I found myself rolling my eyes at her again, even though she couldn't see me.

I need to get her back for today, I realized. I need to find some way to make her birthday even better! But how?

My eyes fell back down to the phone in my lap. I slowly picked it up and scrolled through my recent texts. I paused on one and smiled evilly, ideas already starting to form in my head.

Me: Hey Chris. I've a favour to ask of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Darren's POV

Chris' snickering caused me to tear my attention away from my phone and look over to where he was comfortably stretched out on his bed.

"What's so funny?" I asked him.

"Oh, just plotting," he smiled.

"...plotting what?" I persisted.

"Things," he refused to give in to my curiosity.

"Chris..." I whined.

"It doesn't involve you, don't worry," Chris sighed and I caught him rolling his eyes at me.

"Come on!" I huffed.

"Fine!" he huffed back. "Kaley wants my help planning Leah's birthday surprise, okay?"

"Leah's birthday?" I echoed inquiringly.

"Yeah, apparently their birthdays are only two days apart," he shrugged. "It's one of the things that makes them 'such close friends'."

"That's kind of cute actually," I smiled, turning my attention back to the phone in my hands. I had the sudden urge to text Kaley and tell her that she was cute, and I was just barely able to keep myself from doing so.

What is going on with me? I wondered, rubbing my temple as if that would suddenly clear things up for me. Kaley was a great girl and I really did like her... but then there was this other girl that I could not stop thinking about. Her voice played through my head all day and haunted my dreams at night, dreams where I tried to find her, but I was always one step behind, one moment too late.

Just like in real life, I sighed inwardly. Am I ever going to find out who you are?

The screen of my phone suddenly lit up, alerting me that I had a new text. I sighed as I saw her name flash across the screen. It was from Kaley.

And am I ever going to figure out my feelings for you?