Kiss Me and I Bleed

The next day I spent the whole day trying to avoid Tony. I tried to spend time with Mike, but there was always something to do. I ended up spending most of my time with Stephanie since Morgan was off with other band members usually trying to help Vic with something. Just for something to do me and Stephanie went running, and plus she also said it would probably help with my nervousness. The nervousness was completely gone by time we performed our second show. It also seemed like our crowds were getting bigger too. Then eventually Stephanie had to go back home to check up on her mom. That meant that my distraction and Tony’s distraction was gone. I did only want to be friends with him, so when we in the RV I tried to make small talk. “You know me and Stephanie have become pretty close.” I said.
“Yeah I know, but I wish it was me you were getting closer to.” He replied.
I looked down at my hands and said, “You know that isn’t possible. I love Mike and your with Steph.” I said.
“But you were in love with me first? Weren’t you?” He asked.
“I thought we were going to just friends.” I replied.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“I can’t.” I was about to say something else, but Tony had stopped me by forcing his lips on mine. My mouth kissed him back while my head was telling me to stop it. He completely stopped those thoughts when he invited my tongue to dance. I could feel my heart beating faster, and I started to want him more. I was about to get what I wanted until Morgan walked in. “Morgan!” I said. She started to leave, but I grabbed her hand before she could open the door. “Please don’t say anything to Mike!” I begged her.
“I wouldn’t do that to you, but you can’t be doing this. What if I was Mike. Do you realize what this would do to him?” She said.
“I know. Just please just keep this between us.” I said again. She nodded and went to get Vic’s guitar and before she left she said.
“I think you should come with us outside. Mike’s out there too.”
“Ok I’ll be right out. I just want to talk to Tony.” I said. She hesitated awhile longer, but then left. I took a couple of calming breaths. “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT!” I said.
“Shut up do you want them to hear us.” He said.
“I told you I’m with Mike now.” I said.
“Then why didn’t you stop me?” He asked, but I didn’t have an answer. “Yeah that’s what I thought.” He walked closer to me, and grabbed my hand. Then he whispered in my ear. “Steph won’t be back for a couple of weeks. I know you still love me, so meet me outside later tonight. Please.” his breath sent shiver up and down my body. He left without waiting for an answer. I waited awhile longer then went outside to go with everyone else.
When I got there everyone shouted “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” I tried my best to seem happy, but I had a lot on my mind. I looked at Morgan and Tony and saw that I wasn’t the only one. Mike came over and kissed me in front of everyone. I loved knowing that we didn’t have to keep our love a secret. I just loved Mike period.
“My birthday isn’t until tomorrow.” I said.
“But everyone was going to be busy tomorrow.” Mike said and kissed me again. I didn’t feel like partying with everyone else I just wanted to be alone with Mike. I hadn’t seen him all day, and really missed him. I was scared to drink because of the stupid choice I had made last night, but you don’t have to be drunk to make stupid choices. After the party I laid with Mike in his bunk. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep I guess because of all the work he had put in. Again I couldn’t go to sleep, but not from nervousness. I kept thinking of Tony and his offer, and seeing his empty bunk wasn’t helping at all. I counted the charms on my bracelet over and over, but I still couldn’t fall asleep. It was twelve o’clock which meant that I was now legally an adult. I used to think that meant I would make wiser decisions, but instead I unwrapped Mike’s arms from around me, and slipped on my shoes. I quietly got of the RV, and walked to where Tony said to meet him. I was halfway there when the light from the moon my bracelet flicker. I saw the chain that had the letter N and the chain with the letter M had tangled around each other. At that moment I almost turned back, but I heard someone call my name. I looked up to see Tony he crossed the rest of the distance between us and kissed me. I wrapped my arm around his neck and kissed him back. All thoughts of Mike completely gone now.
“Happy Birthday.” Tony whispered. He held my hand and led me to a blanket that was kind of covered so no one would see us. It was kind of chilly, but Tony kept me warm. It was one of the best birthday’s I had ever had and one of the worst. “I missed you.” Tony said. Everything had been completely perfect and I was about to tell Tony that I loved him, but then I noticed my bracelet was gone, and I started to panic. I looked in the grass and in my clothes, but I couldn’t find it. “What’s wrong?” Tony asked.
“My bracelet! I can’t find it!” I answered.
“What this thing?” I asked holding up the most important thing I owned like it was nothing. I snatched it out of his hands, and started putting on my clothes. “Where are you going?” He asked also putting on his clothes.
“As far away from you as possible.” I answered. I started to walk away, but Tony held me.
“I thought you loved me.” He said.
“Well guess what I don’t!” I said, and when I realized that it was true it gave me the words I needed to say. “I can’t love you Tony, and you don’t love me. Mike he cares for me and he is completely devoted to me, and I should be the same for him. He think I am, but I’m not. He’s going to hate me, but I need to tell him.”
“That’s not a good idea.” Tony said.
“But it’s the right thing to do. I owe it to him and Stephanie doesn’t deserve this either. Oh my gawd I fucked up!” I said. “If Mike takes me back after this I’m going to treat him the way he deserves to be treated.”
“And if he doesn’t?” Tony asked.
“Tony, if he doesn’t forgive me then I never what to see your face again.” I said. I then left Tony alone and started my walk to do the most grown up thing I have ever done in my entire life.