Kiss Me and I Bleed

When I got through performing I ran over to Morgan and Angela. They gave me a bag that had at what I needed. “Do want us to come with you?” Angela asked.
“No, I can do it by myself.” I said. I ran back to the RV trying not to bring attention to myself. When I got in the RV it was empty. I went into the bathroom and did what I needed to do. Now all I had to do was wait. I left the bathroom, and sat down on the couch. The test said it would take like five minutes. These were the longest minutes I have ever had to go through. My hands were all sweaty, and they were shaking I could hardly keep the thing in my hands. Finally the time was up, and I was waiting for the thing to say pregnant or not pregnant. When I got my results Mike walked into the RV. There wasn’t anywhere I could really hide it so I tried hiding it under my leg, but he had already seen it.
“Hey. What’s that?” He asked.
“Its nothing.” I lied. Which was really stupid. He had obviously seen it. He walked over to me, and I didn’t stop him from reaching under my leg and took the pregnancy test from me. He looked at it, and I could tell from his face what it said. At first he tried to say something, but whatever he wanted to say he couldn’t get out. He sat down beside me still looking at the pregnancy test. “Say something.” I said reaching towards him.
“Are you? Are we having a baby?” He asked.
I nodded my head not knowing what I should say. I actually thought I saw him light up from the thought of us having a baby together. I knew if I said something now it would crush him. “Yeah I guess so.” He said. He reached out for me and squeezed me tight. I kissed him and he kissed me back. I knew I should have stopped, but at the moment I was just willing to just go with it. It was so much easier. I stopped kissing him long enough to say, “We cant tell anyone just yet. I want to break the news to my parents first.”
“Yeah. Your Dad is going to be pissed.” He said smiling.
“Yeah and so is Leslie. I really need to talk to her.” I said. I kissed him again and got up to go find her. We walked out together, and I felt like a total bitch for lying to Mike like that. I was about to walk over to where Angela, Leslie, and Morgan were sitting when Tony grabbed my arm.
“We need to talk.” He said.
“Not now.” I replied.
“Then when?” He asked.
“I don’t know, but right now I really need to talk to Leslie.” I answered. I pulled my arm away from Tony’s hand and continued to walk. When I reached them Leslie wouldn’t look at me. “Leslie, I’m so sorry. I was being really selfish yesterday. I am really happy for you. I can’t wait to see what my little niece or nephew looks like.” I said.
At first Leslie said nothing and then she finally said, “It’s a girl. We’re thinking of naming her Alba.” I guess that was her way of accepting my apology, and I sat down beside her.
“Oh my god that’s really pretty.” I said. Talking about her baby, and finally knowing for sure that I was pregnant made me have visions of our kids growing up and playing together.
“I guess I’m sorry about what happened too. I said some things that were really uncalled for.” She said.
“No you’re are right. I need to grow up, and realize its not all about me. I just wish Mom and Dad would stop worrying about me so much.” I said.
“But you do realize that letting you move out of the house and tour was like one of the hardest things they’ve ever had to go through. You’re their baby and you’ve grown up more than any of us have.” she said.
“Yeah I know.” I said. It got quite again, and then Angela changed the subject by asking.
“What does Tony want? He keeps looking over here.”
“He wants to talk. We got in an argument earlier, and we didn’t really finish I guess. I’m going to see what he wants.” I said and got up. He saw me coming and stormed off into the RV. I followed him and asked what he wanted. He had something in his hand and threw it over to me. I then realized that I must have not thrown the pregnancy test away after I told Mike.
“What that?” He asked.
“A pregnancy test anyone can guess that.” I said.
“I know what it is. Tell me what it says.” He replied.
“It says that I’m pregnant. So what?” I asked shrugging my shoulders.
“Is this what you were trying to tell me? That we’re having a baby?” He asked.
“No me and Mike are having a baby.” I answered.
“Don’t play this shit with me Nicole. We both know that I could be this baby’s father.” He said. I didn’t reply. “Does Mike know?” He asked.
“Yes. He was in here when I got the results.” I answered. I could tell that these words stung because I knew he wished he had been here for that. I knew that he wished that this baby was his just like Mike was so happy to know it was his.
“Does he know that I could be the dad?” He asked.
“I don’t know. I didn’t really tell him, but I’m pretty sure he could figure it out.” I answered.
“Well I don’t want to wait tell he figures it out. I think we should tell him now.” He said, and tried to walk around me to get to the door. It was no point trying to block his way because Mike was already on his way inside. We didn’t have to say anything really. He saw that I was upset and was holding the pregnancy test. I guess with Tony there he came to the conclusion that Tony could also be the father, and the happiness that I had seen before was completely gone. He left the RV without saying a word, and I tried to follow him but Tony was holding me back.
“Would you leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to you! I don’t want to be with you! And I don’t want to have a baby with you!” I yelled. I could clearly see the pain in Tony’s eyes, and I realized what I had said was completely horrible. “Tony I’m sorry. We’ll talk later, but right now I have to get to Mike.” I turned around to go back to the door.
“No wait look!” Tony said looking down at my legs. I look down to where he was looking and saw blood was running down my leg. “I think we should take you to the hospital.” Tony said. I couldn’t say and I couldn’t move. My body became cold. I had realized that I didn’t want to lose the baby I wished didn’t exist earlier. I let Tony guide me toward the door, and by time I stepped outside I felt sharp pains going through my stomach, and I knew that I was going to lose my baby.