Kiss Me and I Bleed

“When ever we need to fucking talk something gets fucked up or somebody gets screwed over!” He continued.
“Yeah and this time you screwed over one of my best friends! Because of what you did nither her or Morgan is speaking to me!” I yelled.
“And whose fault is that?” He asked sarcastically. “Not mine. Its not my fault that your best friends don’t believe you.”
“It is your fault if you hadn’t of broken up with Stephanie this wouldn’t have happened.” I replied.
“It was bound to happen sooner or later. You already know I didn’t love her. Why procrastinate?” He said. I didn’t know what to say to that. “Good this topic is over anything, else you would like to fucking know?” He asked.
“I so fed up with you Tony you have no fucking idea. Why do you have to be such a asshole?” I said not really expecting an answer.
“Because I’m tired of being hurt by you. You just don’t understand how much I adore you.” He answered anyway.
“I do understand, but you don’t understand that my feelings are the same towards you. My heart belongs to Mike.” I replied.
We finally arrived to Mike’s apartment, and stopped the car. “Well my heart belongs to you, so what are we going to do?” He asked.
“I really don’t know about you, but I’m going to stay with Mike and there’s nothing more to it.” I answered.
“And what if Mike suddenly decides he’s tired of you? What if he gets so upset that the baby isn’t his that he can’t stand the sight of you?” He asked. That was a low blow, and I think Tony already knew that.
“Why the fuck would you say that?!” I yelled.
“Because it could happen. You never know what could happen.” He answered.
“I’ll talk to you if something comes up with the baby, but other than that I don’t want to you.” I replied.
“That what you always say, and then we have to have these little conversations alone.” He said under his breath.
“Fuck you Tony.” I said and finally got out the car. I was surprised that Tony got out the car too. “What are you following me now?” I asked.
“Did you forget that my band mates and friends live here?” He replied. I didn’t say anything instead I kept walking. When I got inside instead of going straight to me and Mike’s room like he probably expected me to do. I sat on the couch right beside Mike.
“Did you too make up yet?” He asked kind of jokingly.
“Yeah right. Tony’s the most difficult person to be around.” I said looking right at Tony instead of Mike.
“Tony’s not that bad.” Vic said.
“Maybe not to ya’ll but to me he’s nothing but an ass.” I replied.
“Nicole, you don’t have to be so mean.” Mike whispered. “Calm down a little.” I suddenly didn’t want to be in the same room with him, and this time I did go back in the room. Mike followed not to far behind. “Come on don’t let him ruin today for you. We got to see the baby together, and he’s getting stronger. That’s amazing new, so don’t let Tony ruin it for you.” He said.
I nodded my head. “I know I should let him get to me like this, and it really does scar me that he can effect me this way.” I said and sat on the bed. The tears were starting to spill, and I sat down on the bed. Mike sat down next to me, and held me.
“You can tell me. I won’t get mad I promise. I guess I can understand he was your first, and I can tell you too where in love. I knew you were crazy about him, and it upset you seeing him with Steph. I can tell you I was already in love with you, and I hated seeing you hurt. I never expected us to be together. You were so in love with him. So please tell me what happened when you talked to Tony alone, and what did you feel.” He said.
“He already told you what happened didn’t he?” I asked. Mike didn’t say anything, and I could tell that I was right. “Then what’s the point in me telling you then. Again I fucked up, and you’re being so forgiving.”
“It wasn’t your fault. You can’t stop what you feel. I just want to know what do you feel when your with him?” He replied. There was no point in trying to deny it anymore, so I told him everything including what I felt, and the whole time he listened I could tell that it hurt him, but he didn’t look angry. “I really don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just can’t get away from him.” I finished. “I really do love you, and I want to be with you not him.”
“I know I believe you, and I don’t think you love him at least not in the way that you used to.” He replied.
Finally the tears were starting to slow down, and I felt better finally telling him what I felt.
“What makes you say that?” I asked.
“Because I was there. I saw the way you used to look at him, and its not the same anymore.” He answered. He moved closer to me, and placed his hands on both sides of my face, and kissed me. “The way you used to look at him is the way you look at me, and it sends chills down my body, and even Tony doesn’t even look at you the same. I knew he was also crazy over you, but now its not so much as love but more like an obsession.” He answered. “I think you are both obsessed with each other. You still love each other, but not anymore. You two can’t get over each other, and that’s why I can no longer be made with you for what you did because I know you don’t love him the way you love me.” He said and kissed me again. “I’m going to go talk to Tony. Will you be ok alone?” He asked.
I nodded and he got up to leave. “Wait! What are you going to talk to him about?” I asked.
“I’m tired of seeing how much he upsets you, so I’m going to ask him to leave you alone.” He answered.
“That’ll never work.” I replied.
“It might. You should know that your band mates are your second family. He might respect what I want.” He said and left me alone in the room. I sat there for awhile thinking about what I had just come clean about to Mike, and I noticed his keys were on the table. I picked them up, and told everyone I was going to my Dad’s shop, but that wasn’t were I went. Instead I found my way to where Stephanie lived. I couldn’t take her being mad at me any more. I needed her, and Morgan. I knew that if I got Stephanie to forgive me than I would also get Morgan to come along as well. When I walked up to the door I almost turned back. I was shaking so bad. I didn’t think about what I was going to tell her. I just knew I had to say something. I knocked on the door, and waited. I few seconds later Stephanie opened the door. When she saw it was me she started to close the door.
“Wait Stephanie. I came to tell you what really happened between Tony and I.” I said.
“I already know what you did, and I’m tired of you two. Do you think about anyone but yourself? Do you think about what you two do not only effects you two, but it also effects me and even Mike? Your lucky to have a guy like him, so why do you do shit that could probably fuck shit up?” She replied.
“I know I come off as a selfish, shallow person but I don’t mean to. Stephanie I’ve been so confused, and it makes it worse when I don’t talk to people about it. I’ve talked to Mike and he understands I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t love Tony the way I used to. I really truly am in love with Mike, and I do realize that how lucky I am. I never wanted to hurt you ever, and I really need my friend back.” I said. “So do you want to know all about me and Tony or not?” I asked.
She thought about it for awhile and then she slowly moved aside so I could walk inside. “Try to be quite my mom is sleeping.” She whispered. She showed me the way to the living room.
“So where do you where do you want me to start?” I asked. I started shaking again, but I was ready to get it over with. I had never told her about me and Tony, and she had never asked. I didn’t know if telling her what happened would make her happy or make her even more pissed.
“I want you to start from the beginning. I know where you two met, but didn’t you know that I was in the picture?” She asked.
I nodded and said, “Not exactly at first. I had already fallen in love with Tony even before we even spoke. When we first had sex I knew you existed then. I did stop at one point, but you couldn’t understand how badly I wanted Tony, so when he told me to just ignore that you two were dating I did.” I answered. She sat there quietly and listened so I went on. “Then when I finally saw you in person at first I hated you so much. I hated the way Tony looked at you, touched you, and how you had all his attention. At one point I did get tired of being the other girl, and I told him if he didn’t leave you I wouldn’t be with him anymore.”
“So is that when you fell for Mike?” She asked.
I shook my head. “Not really. When ever I felt hurt because of him Mike was there at first as a friend. Thinking about it now I realize he did love me, but I was to focused on Tony to see that. Whenever me and Tony would fuck up all I could think about was how this would hurt Mike, and I still did it anyway, and I’m over hurting Mike. I just want to give him my full attention, so when I told you me and Tony didn’t do anything it was the truth but it was also I lie.” I said, and went on and told her everything I told Mike. She looked kind of hurt, but she looked like she also understood. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I really hope you do. I really do need you, and I want you to be in me and my baby’s life.” I said. I could see tears where building in Stephanie’s eyes.
When they started to spill she said. “I really do care about you too. Its just that I love Tony so much, and I forgave him after all the bullshit he did to me, and when he said it was over I just wanted to blame somebody, and I just thought it couldn’t be Tony. I love Tony, and I hated that he loved you so much. He can’t get over you and that pissed me off.”
“Tony doesn’t love me. He just hasn’t gotten over me yet. I think he really is a good guy just give him some time to get over me. Even though he told me he didn’t really love you I knew he was lying. He really does love you just give him time.” I said.
Stephanie wiped her tears and nodded. “I know he does love me. I could tell by the way he couldn’t even look at me when he said it was over, but I’m not going to sit here and wait until he finally gives up on you. I can’t forgive him right now. Maybe one day but right now.” She replied.
“And what about us? Will you ever forgive me?” I asked. She paused for a moment and then she reached out towards me, and we hugged each other.
“I don’t blame either of you for this. It was all just a big fucked up mistake, and I want to be there for you and the baby, and I want you to be there for me.” She answered. We hugged for a moment longer and then we let go. She wiped away some more tears and then we sat there looking at each other. Then we both heard some movement upstairs and then she asked. “Do you want to meet my mom?” She asked.
“Are you sure? Tony said she was kind of sick, and I don’t want to bother her.” I answered. I saw tears come to Stephanie’s eyes again, and I reached out to hug her.
She nodded and said. “Yes, Tony was telling the truth, but I still want you to meet her. I want us to tell each other everything. I don’t want to leave out a single thing about my life to you, and I especially want to share this with you.”