Kiss Me and I Bleed

I got myself ready. There wasn’t much to do but shower and put on makeup. I didn’t feel like putting on real clothes because I was still a little hung over, so I wore my Invader Zim shorts and a green tank top. I told Angela I was leaving and walked out. It was kind of chilly and looked like it was going to rain. When I saw Tony I ran up to him and leaped in his arms. He kissed me and I kissed him back. In that moment it was just Tony and me. Stephanie was completely out of the picture.
“What happened to your hair?” He asked.
“I cut it.” I answered.
“Why?”
“I just wanted a new look.” I said. I was answered feeling a little bit confused. I thought he would like it.
“But I liked you old look.” I was a little hurt by this comment, and took a step back from Tony.
“Mike liked it.” I found myself saying.
“What did you just say?” he said sounding a hurt and angry. A part of me had came out. A part of me a didn’t like. This part of me wanted Tony to feel the way I felt last night. “Where did ya’ll go last night anyway?” He asked.
“That’s none of your business.” I answered.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me? Lets see, you totally ignored me all night and made me feel like I meant nothing to you!” I shouted.
“Well what was I supposed to do!”
“Maybe you could have warned me that Stephanie was going to be there! Or better you could just leave her! Have you figured out what my problem is now?” I asked.
“No, why don’t you just tell me.” He answered.
“IT’S YOU!” I yelled and started to walk back in the direction of my house, but Tony grabbed me and held me in his arms. I tried to push him away, but I had never felt so small and weak. I tried to stop them, but the tears came anyway.
“I’m sorry, you’re right. I probably should have brought you. I just wanted you to meet my friends. I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re the most important thing to me.” He said and tilted my head and kissed me softly . He held me this way until I stopped crying.
“Nothing happened between me and Mike.” I said when I managed to stop crying.
“I know, I trust you.” He said and squeezed me a little tighter. It was beginning to rain so we walked to Tony’s house. We were already kissing when walked in his house. We managed to walk up the stairs without breaking the kiss. When we made it to his room, we started to remove our clothes. It became a game to see who could get the others clothes first. We didn’t have sex though. Instead we spent the whole day kissing and holding each other. We laid in bed and talked and laughed and watched Star Wars. “Stay with me tonight.” He whispered to me.
“Ok.” I replied. I was so happy at the moment. I had always wondered what it would be like to wake up next to Tony. We heard a car pull up and shortly after another one.
“Do you wanna meet my parents?” He asked. I was a little nervous but agreed anyway. I wasn’t to thrilled about meeting them in my pajamas. “You look amazing. They wont even notice.” He said. His mom was really sweet and pretty. Tony and her had the same eyes. Tony’s dad looked like an older version of him, and he was really handsome. His parents reminded me of my parents, and they were really easy to talk to. They asked me about school, what I wanted to do after I finished school, and how Tony and I met. Tony’s parents were obviously very much in love, and I couldn’t help imagining that being me and Tony in 15 years. After we ate me and Tony cleaned up and went to his room. We waited tell the house was completely silent and then we started removing our clothes. He was kissing me in my most ticklish places making me laugh loudly. “Shhhh, you’ll wake my parents.” He said jokingly. This time we did have sex. I would never get tired of having sex with Tony. He was amazing and showed me something new. He made me feel beautiful and wanted every time I looked in his eyes. When we finished Tony held me and Told me he loved me and I kissed him and told him I loved him too. I fell asleep and continued to be with him in my dreams. The next morning I was woken up by light shinning through the window and Tony whispering on the phone. I was still a little sleepy so I didn’t get up right away. “Love you too Steph, I’ll see you later.” I heard him say. I was wide awake and felt betrayed. I started to get up and put on my clothes. “Where are you going?” Tony asked. He tried to pretend that I didn’t hear him by trying to kiss me.
“Don’t touch me. I heard you talking to her.” I said.
“ I didn’t mean it Nicole.” He said.
“Then why are you telling her that then? Are you trying to hurt me or am I just the girl you ask to come over because you have nothing planned with your girlfriend.” I said. I was able to talk calmly even though I was boiling with rage.
“Its complicated.” He said.
“No, it really isn’t that complicated. I don’t know maybe this whole thing was a big mistake.”
“Don’t say that.” He said.
“You can’t have both. You have to choose. I know how it feels to be cheated on I don’t want to be the other girl.” I said. I grabbed the rest of my stuff and walked out the house.
Tony followed me and said, “Stephanie doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“Then why are you with her?” I asked. He didn’t answer me so I kept on going.
“Nicole, please look at me.” He said. I had never heard Tony sound so sad and desperate. The weak part of me wanted me to turn around and comfort him, but I kept on waling.
By now We were in front of my door and without looking at Tony I said, “Tony I love you, but I cant do this. It hurts to much.” When I got in my room I cried until there was nothing to come out. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt nothing but hatred towards myself. I wanted to talk to someone, but know was home and Morgan was still grounded. I picked up my phone and dialed Mike’s number. “Hello?” he answered.
“Hey Mike.” I managed to get out before I started to cry all over.
“What wrong?” He asked. He sounded like he really did care about me, and that all I really wanted at that moment.
I knew I was possibly making a mistake, but also at that moment I didn’t care. “Can you come over?” I asked. “I need someone to take to.”
“I’ll be right over.” He said and hung up, and at that moment I didn’t know I was going to start something I was going to regret.