Kiss Me and I Bleed

Like Leslie had said people did stop coming over. The only people who still came over a lot was Morgan, Stephanie, and Vic. Sometimes I wish I could be Morgan she had it so easy. She never had doubts about who she loved. Morgan’s and Vic’s relationship was so perfect. I never imagined them to hitting it off. Ever since I know her Morgan didn’t take shit from nobody, and would say and do whatever the fuck she felt like saying and doing. In more ways than one she was an amazing friend and sometimes the perfect partner in crime. But Vic was different he was a lot more reserved than Morgan. I guess they were a good match. Since they started going out they I noticed she had gotten a lot calmer. I guess we all kind of changed in a way. It was a lot less complicated before I got involved with Tony, but whatever I liked where I was right now. I was actually sitting on the couch sitting as close as possible with Mike. We were both getting kind of frustrated because of Noelle’s strict order not to have sex for a few weeks. I was ready to break that order as soon as Mike said yes, but he was scared about what he would do to me. I guess I had no say in that. Its not like I could force him to have sex with me. Stephanie and Morgan where playing with Chris on the floor. Every time Steph was with Chris I could tell she was happy, but I also saw sadness in her eyes too. It was hard seeing Tony and Me in that baby. I felt like she was happy for me and Tony, but I could tell she wished that it was her and Tony’s baby. I looked over to where Tony was sitting. He looked tired and uncomfortable. I could tell he saw the same thing in Stephanie as I did. The thought came before I could stop it. I wondered if I asked Tony for sex would he give it to me. I shook my head, and looked away from him. I don’t know what made me think that. I was so tired. Chris wasn’t sleeping at night, and always wanted something to eat. He was growing really fast. I could tell he was going to be a lot taller than me one day.
I looked back at Tony who was slowly falling asleep on the couch. The same question popped up again and this time it came with an answer. Of course he would have sex with me. That’s what he’s been wanting for so long. Well, not really. He wanted more than sex from me, and I didn’t want to give him either. I looked away from Tony again and this time I looked at Vic. He was kind of weird with Chris. Its not that he didn’t like him, but he was kind of scared with him. Every time Morgan tried to get him to hold him, he would ask a million questions about is he doing it right. Morgan and Stephanie weren’t shy with him at all, and took thousands of pictures of him, and dressed him up and ever outfit he owned. By now Tony had fallen asleep, and Mike had also fallen asleep in my lap.
“I wish Chris would sleep like this.” I said.
Vic, Morgan, and Stephanie looked at what I was talking about. “We should right on their faces.” Vic said.
I leaned down, and kissed Mike. “Don’t do that. They deserve to sleep. They’re both up whenever I’m up. They help me more than I actually need.” I replied.
“So everything is going good with this whole situation?” Stephanie asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and replied. “Yeah for right now I guess. It can get awkward sometimes, but they don’t fight. Mostly they just talk or laugh or tease me.”
“Sounds amazing. I wish I could be in your situation, but I would have definitely chosen Tony.” Stephanie said and smiled.
I also smiled and said. “Well you can have him if you want him.”
“I do want him, and I’ve been trying to get him to talk to me but I don’t think he’s gotten over you completely.” She said. I saw that she was really sad now.
“Can you not talk about this around me. You’re making me and my fake nephew depressed.” Vic said.
“Don’t call him your fake nephew Vic.” Morgan said, and that made me laugh.
“Well what do I call him?” Vic asked smiling lovingly at Morgan.
She shrugged his shoulder. “I don’t know just call him your nephew. I call him mines or just call him your little friend.”
“How can we be friends? He can’t even talk yet. All he does is giggle, cry, and poop.” Vic replied.
“My baby can talk. You just can’t understand what he’s saying, but me, Mike, and Tony knows what he’s saying.” I replied.
“How do you plan on teaching him Spanish and English?” Stephanie asked looking down lovingly at my baby. So lovingly that it broke my heart.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. My mom and Tony’s mom never spoke English when they were with him. My parents didn’t speak English when I was a baby, and I didn’t perfect English until I went to preschool.” I answered.
“I don’t want you to teach him Spanish.” Morgan said.
“Why not?” Stephanie asked.
“Because then I wont be able to talk to him. I didn’t learn shit from taking Spanish in high school. I only remembered the food stuff.” She said.
“So what are you going to do when you and Vic have a little baby?” Stephanie asked. The more she talked about baby’s the more I could tell that she did want what I had. Maybe I would tell her to forget about Tony so she could maybe move on and be happy with someone else. Tony was being an ass to her anyway. He didn’t really deserve her love, but who would love Tony if Stephanie decided that she no longer did.
“First of all. I’m not having a baby until I’m out of my twenties, and I’m either married or engaged. Then I might think about having one kid.” Morgan answered. Me and Stephanie laughed, and I could tell this was kind of making Vic uncomfortable.
“Well I’m pretty sure Nicole had the same plan, but look at her.” Stephanie said.
I shook my head. “It was kind of my plan, and I’m happy with Chris right now but I can see myself with another baby far from now.” I said.
Finally Vic had enough, and he got up and slowly picked up Chris.
“Where do you think you’re going with my son?” I asked.
Vic shook his head and answered. “Chris doesn’t need to be hearing this, and I sure don’t want to hear this conversation.” He left the room, and we started laughing. We continued our conversation, and they didn’t want to leave until Chris had fallen asleep. And even when he did fall asleep they wanted to watch him sleep. I have to admit I did find myself starring at him when he was sleep. It was hard to imagine that I had actually created him, and it was even harder to believe that I had came really close to losing him. When they finally left I still had a couple of hours before Chris would wake up asking to be fed. I probably should have been getting all the sleep that I should, but I decided why not try and get what I want from Mike. When I got in the room he was sitting about to roll one up. Probably not the best idea to be high and taking care of a baby, but oh well. I had some milk stored away in the fridge just in case I felt like I wanted to drink or do this. The last time Mike and I had sex while high was amazing, but I still wasn’t sure if Mike would still let me have sex with him. He took a couple of drags from it, and then he passed it to me. I did the same, and then I gave it back. I could slowly feel the high taking over. I leaned up, and kissed Mike slowly on his neck. He didn’t stop me. He pulled my head up, so he could kiss me on my lips. I then decided I would try to go further, and pulled of my shirt and bra and this time he did stop. He pushed me away and said. “Nicole I want this as bad as you do, but I really don’t want to hurt you.”
I shook my head. “I know you won’t, and I promise if I start to feel pain I’ll tell you to stop.” I replied. I started kissing him again, and this time we didn’t stop to pause at all. He rolled me over, and took off what was left of our clothing. Before he put himself in I had a flash of fear. Maybe it was a bad idea to do this. What if something got messed up inside of me. But Noelle was wrong everything was perfect. I felt amazing, and I knew Mike felt the same. I don’t know why we waited so long to finally get it over with. We both came, and Mike pulled out. He looked down, and he laughed. “We really need to stop doing this. At least this way. Unless you want to have a second baby before you’re twenty.” He rolled over beside me, and I wrapped his arms around his waist.
“I do want another baby, but not until I’m like in my late twenties. But I also like doing it this way. It makes me feel closer to you.” I said and leaned up to kiss him. I was starting to come down from my high, and I was also starting to get sleepy, but before I feel asleep I slipped on the closest shirt and went to check up on Chris. I was kind of surprised to see that he was still sleep. I made sure he was laying down right, and then left out the nursery. On my way back to the room I ran into Tony literally. It was dark in the hallway, and I didn’t see him. He held me close to make sure I didn’t fall over. I quickly steadied myself.
“Smells like you and Mike are having fun.” He said. I didn’t know what smelled stronger. The sex or the weed, but I did think it was rude for Tony to say something like that.
“Maybe if you would get over me, and go back to Stephanie then maybe you two could have fun together.” I replied.
Even though it was still dark I could see Tony shake his head. “I don’t want to get over you, and I don’t want to be with Stephanie.” He said.
This time I shook my head and replied. “Well I don’t want to be with you.” I pushed passed him, and headed back to my room. I felt his eyes on me the whole way. I was kind of glad that it was dark I was barely wearing anything, and Tony didn’t deserve to see what I let Mike see. When I got back in the room. I was still kind of pissed so I let Mike see me all over again.