Stay With Me

It's a scary thing telling your future mother-in-law that you might be pregnant pre-maritally. It's not that Linda is exactly a stickler for tradition, but I was fairly sure that she would be a little upset. Or maybe she would be too excited at the idea of a new grandchild. It could go either way.

Jordan and I had stayed in the house for a while before getting ready to go to see his parents. We pulled up the long driveway and Jordan put the car in park, he got out of the car and walked around to my side of the car and opened the door for me.

"Jordan," I sighed with a small laugh. "I'm fine right now, seriously."

"Well if you are pregnant I don't want to risk anything," Jordan replied, making sure I was firmly on the ground before he closed the car door. "I want to get started on you relaxing as early as possible."

"All I had to do was get pregnant to relax? Jeez," I joked, looking up at him. Jordan laughed and put a hand on my back, making sure I got up the front steps safely.

"Hello!" Jordan yelled when we walked in the front door.

"Downstairs!" Linda called back. "C'mon in!"

Jordan and I took off our shoes and coats before walking through the kitchen towards the basement.

"Hello!" Linda smiled, walking up to me and hugging me before she even hugged Jordan. It could be because she knew the state I was in when I got here, so she wanted to see how I was.

"How are you, Ellie?" Linda asked, holding me at arms length.

"I'm pretty good," I replied, nodding. "Better now that Jordan is here."

"How are you, Jordan?" Linda asked, finally hugging her son.

I watched as Jordan embraced his mother tightly. I watched them interact together and I wondered if I could ever be a mother like Linda. I wondered what kind of mother I would be, or what kind of mother I could be.

"Where's Dad?" Jordan asked as we all sat down on the couches in the basement.

"He just went out to run a few errands for me before he went to work!" Linda smiled.

"Mom, there's some stuff we have to talk to you about," Jordan stated, taking the reigns.

"Okay, what's up?" Linda asked. "Is it about the wedding? Have you set a date?"

"Not exactly," Jordan replied, shaking his head. "Well first, there's a possibility that I might be moving to Carolina to play hockey with Eric."

I watched a smile spread across her face and let out a triumphant laugh. "I'm so happy! This is going to be great!"

"There's one more thing," Jordan stated, wringing his hands together nervously.

"What is it?" Linda asked.

Jordan looked at me, letting me know that it was my news to tell.

"There's a possibility that I might be pregnant," I stated. I held my breath, watching her as she reacted.

"Really?" Linda asked softly. "You might be pregnant?"

"I don't know for sure, but there's a possibility." I replied. "I was hoping to talk to you or Tanya about it. I wanted to know the steps to take because, I'm pretty lost right now."

"Of course!" Linda nodded vigorously. "Anything you need!"

I was surprised by her enthusiasm about the pregnancy, but didn't fight it. I nodded, letting her know that I would like that.

"Excuse me for a second," Linda smiled, running out of the basement.

I let out the breath I've been holding, thankful she didn't even mention the fact that Jordan and I weren't married yet.

"I had such a preconceived notion that she would be so angry that we were having a baby before getting married," I sighed.

"Not at all," Jordan laughed. "I knew she would be ecstatic."

Linda came bounding the stairs holding an armful of books.

"Jesus, Ma." Jordan laughed.

"Shh," Linda replied, silencing him. She sat down beside me, giving me the books. "Okay! Here is a scrapbook of just Jordan as a baby. I know that it seems to crazy for me to have made one while having three babies, but I found the time to do it."

I laughed and took the book with 'Jordan Lee' written on the front of it.

"And these are all of those cheesy, traditional 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' types of books," Linda replied. "They're all highlighted and underlined in spots that I found particularly helpful."

"Thank you!" I stated, giving her a small hug.

"Have you called your doctor?" Linda asked.

"Her doctor is in Pittsburgh," Jordan replied. "I think we wanted to wait until she was back in PA before we did anything."

"That's a good idea," Linda nodded. "Give me a call when you go and know for sure."

"Of course!" I nodded.

"I don't want to get my hopes up, but I am so excited about this," Linda beamed and I honestly can't remember the last time I've seen her that happy. Maybe when Jordan and I got engaged, but I can't be sure.

....

Back in Pittsburgh Sidney laid on his giant, empty king-sized bed. He knew that he should get up and do a workout, or eat something, but he couldn't. The only thing he could think of was the lack of Tess.

His mother had called him several times a day to make sure that he was still all right on his own. She had even offered to come down and stay with him for a while until he "got back on his feet".

Sidney didn't want anyone other than Tess. He wasn't sure where she was, but he had an idea that she was either still in Pittsburgh or had left the state completely.

Sidney didn't have the energy to blame Jordan and Ellie anymore. He recognized what he had done, and realized that he had no one to blame except for himself. He wished he could take it all back, or that he at least had the guts to tell Tess himself.

He wanted to call her so badly, or go and find her, but he knew that wasn't an option. He knew he had done enough damage to Tess and their relationship, he didn't want to do anymore damage. He was miserable without her, and he didn't know how to get better. He wasn't sure if he should try and move on, put all his energy into training and winning the Cup again, or if he should try going to therapy.

Sidney didn't have the strength to fight what he did anymore, he didn't have the strength to defend himself either. He was so depressed and so far gone from trying to fix himself. All he wanted was for Tess to come back and tell him that it was all okay, but he knew that would never happen.

He looked over at the phone and picked it up, dialling the familiar number. He listened to the ringing, his stomach dropping with nervousness.

"Mom? It's me. Could you come stay with me?"