Stay With Me

"So let me get this straight," Esther Forester stated the next day while she and Ellie were at work. "When she was single, she was a threat. Now that she's engaged to your fiancé's teammate she's not a threat?"

"I trust Sidney," Ellie shrugged as she iced a cake. "If he says she's changed, then she's changed."

"I thought you told me when Jordan and Tess started hanging out that Sidney told you not to trust Tess?" Esther asked, looking through some papers with cake requests on them.

"I don't know, Mom. Something just feels right about it," Ellie sighed.

"Not to Jordan," Esther replied. "Sweetie, the man you love told you that he genuinely doesn't like the idea of you two forging ahead with your relationship with Tess. He doesn't think you two should forgive her. Don't you think you should take that into consideration?"

"He didn't take my feelings into consideration when he started to be friends with her and when he cheated on me," Ellie snapped, tossing the bag of icing away from her. Ellie held her head in her hands, finally breaking.

"You're not okay with this, are you?" Esther asked, putting her hand on her daughter's back.

"I'm really not," Ellie sighed. "Mom, I hate this. Jordan and I are finally okay again, we're engaged and then she shows up!"

"Then why on earth did you tell Jordan you were okay with this?" Esther asked with a small laugh.

"I don't know," Ellie sighed. "I wanted to be supportive of Sid and I thought that was the way to do it, but I hate it. I hate that she'll be around more, I hate this entire situation. I finally thought I was going to have Jordan to myself and then this happens."

"I think you need to be telling this to Jordan," Esther stated softly. "Not me."

"Can I-" Ellie began, but her mother cut her off. Esther waved her away, telling her to go. Ellie thanked her and ran for the door.

Ellie drove home. Jordan didn't have practice that day so he was going to be at home, most likely. When she pulled up into their driveway she saw Jordan mowing the lawn. He stopped the mower and looked at her as she got out of the car.

Jordan wiped the sweat off his face and readjusted his shirt.

"Aren't you still supposed to be at work?" Jordan asked, and then immediately panicked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Ellie assured him. "Actually no. I'm not."

"Okay," Jordan replied, confused as to why she was home. She was supposed to be at work until 5.

"I'm not okay with this Sid and Tess thing," Ellie stated."It's really bothering me. I thought that by saying I was it would make this easier and that it meant I was supporting Sid, but I don't like this. I'm not okay with this."

"Why didn't you just say that yesterday?" Jordan asked, putting his hands on her hips. He pulled her close, holding her against his sweaty chest.

"I don't know," Ellie sighed. "I really am tired of hating her, but this is not the way I wanted to forgive her. I didn't want to have to do it because she's marrying our friend. I wanted to do it because I was ready to move on."

"Are you?" Jordan asked.

"I don't know," Ellie sighed. "I'm still so mad at you."

"Then why did you agree to marry me, Ellie?" Jordan asked, getting angry. If she was still angry with him over him cheating, why would she say 'yes' when he asked her to marry him?

"Because you wouldn't leave me alone!" Ellie yelled, tossing her hands up in frustration. "I want to marry you, Jordan. You just pushed and pushed. I finally just got so mad at having you bug me all the time that I just agreed."

"You only agreed to marry me because you felt pressured?" Jordan asked. He scoffed and walked away from her, shaking his head. He walked back into the house, slamming the door behind him.

Ellie groaned and ran after him.

"That's not what I meant!" She yelled, following him to the kitchen.

"I'm thinking it was," Jordan replied, leaning against the kitchen counter and sipping at a bottle of water. "I really think that's what you meant. You just said it meaner than you intended to."

"I do want to marry you," Ellie stated.

"You just don't trust me. Got it," Jordan nodded. "I'm going to have a shower."

"Jordan," Ellie called, going after him.

"You said what you had to say, Ellie. You can't take it back now," Jordan sighed, taking off his shirt. "You can just give back the ring, if you want. I'll keep it and you can tell me when you finally trust me and forgive me for real."

"Jordan," Ellie whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"The engagement is off, Ellie. Let me know when you want to be with me completely without any of these secrets. Let me know when you finally trust me," Jordan muttered and slammed the bathroom door.

Ellie couldn't believe it. Jordan had called off their engagement. She stared down at her ring and couldn't believe how stupid she'd been. She had let herself get in over her head and said some mean things. She stood outside of the bathroom and contemplated opening the door.

"Jordan?" Ellie asked softly, twisting the doorknob.

"What do I have to do, Ellie?" Jordan asked, leaning on his hands on the bathroom counter. "You told me at the CEC that you wanted to be with me, that you forgave me. When you forgive someone you move on from the wrong they've done. You don't hold it over their fucking head all the time."

"I know," Ellie nodded. "I'm trying so hard, but it just haunts me. It's in the back of my mind all the time, and I just get scared."

"Ellie, I've told you a million and one times that I'm not going to slip up again. I've told you that I'm sorry and you're the person I want," Jordan stated. "Why can't you just trust me?"

"Because you broke me heart, Jordan!" Ellie yelled. "You destroyed me. For the first time in a long time I put my faith and my trust in a man and you did exactly what you said you wouldn't."

"And I've told you that I'm sorry for that! I've been working for the passed year and half like a maniac to make you see that I love you and that you can trust me!" Jordan yelled back, turning and looking at her.

"You said that to me before and look what happened!" Ellie yelled, shoving him. She had snapped. She had shoved him, but her barely moved. He was solid and she was weak and hysterical.

"How many more times do I have to say I'm sorry?" Jordan asked, taking her wrists gently in his hands.

"How do I know that you won't do it again?" Ellie retorted.

"You're just going to have to trust me, Ellie. Can you do that? Can you put all your fear away and just trust me?" Jordan asked. "Because I will not marry you, or be engaged to you if you can't trust me. Our marriage will fall apart if you don't trust me."

Ellie looked at him. She did love him. She loved everything about him, from the flaws to the perfections. He was perfect for her. She knew that they had to work at their relationship, but she wanted to do that because she loved him.

"I can do that," Ellie whispered, nodding softly.

Jordan kissed her forcefully, releasing her wrists and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Are we engaged again?" Ellie asked, her forehead pressed against Jordan's.

"Yes, baby." Jordan nodded. "If that's what you want."

"I want it," Ellie nodded. "I want to be engaged to you and I want to marry you. I'll start planning our wedding right now if that's what I have to do. I want you."

"I want you, too." Jordan smiled.

Ellie knew that they would only grow from this. They had officially broken down and were starting to build up their trust and 'foundation' again. Ellie hoped they could keep it together. She hoped she could plan this wedding and forget about Sidney and Tess. She was going to try to focus on their wedding, not Sidney and Tess'.